Hope's Calling
by ImaLateBloomer
Summary: A new nurse, Lt. Hope Jones arrives at the 4077th. Her arrival causes Father Mulcahy to question his calling as a priest. Hope has a disquieting affect on Hawkeye as well.
1. Chapter 1

**HOPE'S CALLING-CHAPTER 1- ARRIVAL**

Nurse, Lt. Hope Jones is assigned to MASH 4077. Her arrival causes Father Mulcahey to question his calling as a priest. Hope has a somewhat disquieting effect on Hawkey as well.

**CHAPTER ONE**

Lt. Hope Jones arrived at the 4077 when a new batch of wounded soldiers had just come in. She hopped out of the jeep, grabbed her bags and looked for someone who could show her to the Head Nurse. Feeling a little bewildered, she stood still for a moment trying to get her bearings. Hope noticed a man wearing a hat rushing around with a small prayer book in his hand.

She touched the man on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me I'm the new nurse y'all have been expecting. Can you show me where the Head Nurse is, please?"

The man turned around and she saw the crucifix around his neck. "He must be the chaplain here," she thought. His kind smile tugged at her heart. "Why I'd be glad to. Just follow me. By the way, I'm Father Mulcahey."

They shook hands. "Nice to meet you Father. It looks like I came at a very busy time."

He responded, "You certainly did. Let me get you to Major Houlihan. She's our Head Nurse."

He led her across the compound to where the Major was kneeling beside a wounded soldier. She saw his shadow and sighed, "Yes Father, what do you want?"

Mulcahey said, "I brought you the nurse you've been expecting."

Major Houlihan looked up to see who the priest was talking about. "You must be Lt. Jones. Drop your things in the nurse's tent and go scrub up for O.R."

Hope was taken aback at the Major's gruffness. "Yes ma'am. I am on my way.''

Fr. Mulcahey called after her, "After the O.R. session is over, I'll introduce you to everyone."

"Thanks, I'm looking forward to it" she called back and waved as she headed for the nurses tent.

Once scrubbed up, Hope entered the O.R. She froze. She had worked in an O.R. before, but never in a war zone. Hope was not prepared for what she saw, the number of wounded being operated on at the same time, the noise and the blood..

Major Houlihan bellowed at her across the room. "Jones, snap out of it! Come over here and assist Col. Potter. Now! Move it!"

Hope jumped. "Yes Ma'am, right away." She moved to the Colonel's side.

He looked at her and smiled. Well at least she could see the smile in his eyes above his mask.

"Welcome, Lieutenant to the 4077th. This is not exactly the way I had hoped to meet you."

"Me too, sir", she responded. "This is a little overwhelming for me. I have worked in an O.R. before, but not one in a war zone.

"It does take some getting used to. It won't be easy, but it will get better. I promise."

"Thank you, sir." Then Hope focused on assisting Col. Potter.

After 8 hours and the last patient had been taken to Post Op, Hope stumbled to the laundry bin and tossed her bloody scrubs in it. She stretched and rubbed her back. It had been a while since she had had to assist for that long at one time.

She walked outside as the sun was setting. Hope couldn't decide which she need more- a strong cup of coffee or just to collapse in her bunk.

Father Mulcahey walked up to her. "Are you ready to meet everybody?"

Hope sighed, "I'm sorry Father, I'm so tired, I don't know what to do."

Mulcahey smiled. "I know what you mean. Why don't we go to the mess tent and get a cup of coffee? At least you can get off your feet that way and I make those introductions I promised you.

"O.k.", she responded.

They entered the mess tent and got cups of coffee. The priest steered them over to a table where Col. Potter, Hawkeye, BJ, and Charles were sitting.

Col. Potter was the first to speak. "Hello again, Lt. Jones. How are you holding up?"

"Alright, sir. Just incredibly tired., she responded.

"Well, now. Introductions are in order," Father Mulcahey said. "Lt. Hope Jones, Here are the rest of the surgeons on staff. This is Captain B.J. Hunnicutt to my right. And across the table from you is Captain Hawkeye Pierce and Major Charles Winchester."

BJ nodded and smiled, "Welcome to the mad house."

Charles simply nodded said "Welcome" in his Boston Brahmin accent.

Hawkeye reached across the table and shook Hope's hand a little longer than necessary. His eyes twinkled as he said, "Don't tell me, you have sisters named Faith and Charity."

Hope laughed and answered, "Actually I do. My dad is a minister and he chose those names because they come from his favorite Bible verse."

"Ah, yes," Fr. Mulcahey said. "That's from First Corinthians chapter 13, verse 13, I believe.""And now abideth faith, hope and charity, but the greatest of these is charity."

"Bingo," Hope laughed. "That's it. But don't tell my baby sister the greatest is Charity, because she already thinks she's the queen bee of our little town!"

Col. Potter stood up. "I hate to break up this little confab, but I think we all should getting some shut eye while we can."

Everyone else at the table followed the Colonel's cue and got up to leave. They said their "good nights" and went to their tents. Well everyone except Hawkeye.

"Lieutenant, may I walk with you to your tent? Wouldn't want you to get lost on the way." He grinned.

"O.K., thanks," Hope responded.

It was only a few steps to the nurse's tent.

"Well good night Hawkeye. Thanks for the escort."

She turned to go inside the tent, thinking Hawkeye had already left. But there he stood just looking at her. "My God'" he thought. "She's lovely. I could get lost in those green eyes of hers." He had an expression on his face like a love sick teenager.

"Uh Lieutenant, Hope? Maybe we could go over to the Officer's Club tomorrow night and get to know each other better?"

She turned to face him. "Yea, that would be nice. Good night." Then she went inside the tent.

Hawkeye "floated" to the swamp. When he entered, BJ teased him, "Well it looks like Dr. Pierce has come down with the love bug." He laughed as he ducked the pillow Hawkeye threw at him.

**Please read and review, as a new writer I appreciate all the feedback I can get! It will help me improve my stories.**


	2. Chapter 2

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 2- BAD FOOD, NEW FRIENDS**

The following day was quiet. There were no incoming casualties. Hope was very thankful for this.

She wanted to get settled in, unpack her things and get to know her surroundings and the people better.

As she headed to the mess tent for breakfast, Father Mulcahey joined her.

"Good morning Lieutenant."

"Hi Father, please call me Hope," she told him as she looked up into his blue eyes and smiled. It was so easy to be around this man she hardly knew. She felt comfortable around him, so "at home". Maybe it was the fact that he was a clergyman like her dad.

"Alright Hope, if you will call me Francis", he responded.

"Francis, after St. Francis of Assisi? He's my favorite saint," Hope told him.

"Yes, he was my mom's favorite saint, too. I was named after him," The tone of his voice lightened when he added, "I wonder if there is a patron saint for people who have to eat in the mess tent?"

Hope laughed. "Is this your way of telling me the food's bad?"

He smiled and rolled his eyes. "Well."

When they got in line to get their breakfast, Hawkeye and BJ were ahead of them.

BJ spoke first. "Good morning Lieutenant Jones. Please don't judge us by our food."

Laughing, Hope said, "Never. I wouldn't hold the food against you."

"Oh please don't do that literally. It might dissolve our uniforms or worse our skin!," Hawkeye quipped. "Why don't you come and sit with us."

"Thanks, but I think I should go and sit with the nurses since I'm new here."

Hope turned, looking for a table where the nurses would be sitting and the only nurse she saw was Major Houlihan. She guessed the others had decided to skip breakfast.

"Excuse me Major. May I join you?"

The Major looked up at Hope and nodded. She didn't say a word.

Hope sat down. "Thanks. I want to apologize for freezing up in O.R. yesterday. I have never worked in an O.R. in a war zone before."

"Well don't let it happen again. Too many soldiers' lives are depending on you to be on your game. All the time," the Head Nurse responded.

Hope looked down at her plate and simply said, "Yes ma'am." She ate her breakfast in silence.

After breakfast, Hope went back to the nurse's tent to unpack her things. She didn't have a lot of things so it didn't take long. Just as she finished, there was a knock on the door.

"Yes, come in," she said. In walked Hawkeye. He bowed.

"Hi there, milady, I've come to take you on the nickel tour of the 4077th and environs."

She curtsied in return and smiled. "Well kind sir, lead on."

As they were about to go out, Father Mulcahey knocked. "Come in," Hope and Hawkeye said together.

When he walked in the tent, Father Mulcahey looked crest fallen. He couldn't hide his disappointment. He wanted to show Hope around the camp himself. "Uh, I see you have company. I'll talk to you later." He turned to leave.

"Wait," Hope called out. "Hawkeye just offered to show me around the camp. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you joined us." She looked at Hawkeye.

"Oh no, I don't mind at all. You're welcome to come along Father." Hawkeye knew he was lying, but he wanted to be nice for Hope's sake.

When the tour was concluded, they went to the mess tent for coffee. They joined Nurse Kelly and Klinger, who was dressed as usual in one of his section 8 ensembles.

Hope leaned and whispered in Father Mulcahey's ear. "What's the story with him?"

Mulcahey whispered back, "He's trying to get out of the Army on a section 8."

" O.K. Well he does have good taste in dresses," she giggled.

Klinger stood up and greeted Hope with a handshake and a big smile. "Hi Lieutenant! Welcome aboard. I'm Corporal Klinger, but just call me Max."

"Hi Max, love your dress!" Hope told him.

Kelly put her coffee down and introduced herself. "Hi Hope, I'm glad we finally get a chance to meet. I only know your name because Major Houlihan told me in O.R. yesterday. We were all so busy, there wasn't a chance to talk."

"Yes, it certainly was busy. Is it always like that?" Hope asked.

"It's usually a lot worse. Yesterday was a light day actually," Kelly answered.

This news caused Hope to pause before she said anything else. She thought, "Oh God, I hope I'll be able to perform up to standards, especially Major Houlihan's."

As if everyone at the table read her mind. They said almost in a chorus, "You'll be fine once you get the hang of things."

They all laughed. For Hope it was assurance she badly needed.

**Sorry this chapter is short. As for the next chapter I'm stuck and am having trouble with it, but all will be well soon. I'll post it as soon as I'm able. Thanks for reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 3- EMBRACABLE YOU**

When Hope entered the Officer's Club that evening, the place was packed. Hawkeye met her at the door and helped her squeeze through the crowd to get to the bar.

Igor was the bartender and he asked her, "What'll you have Lieutenant?"

"I would love a scotch and soda, if you have it," she answered.

Hawkeye was somewhat surprised by Hope's drink order. It showed on his face.

"What's wrong Hawkeye? You looked surprised," she said.

"Well, it's just… I didn't think you'd go for the hard stuff."

"You mean because I'm a minister's daughter, I don't drink? Trust me, I'm no saint."

Hawkeye wondered what she meant, but he let it go and changed the subject.

Before he could say anything else, Father Mulcahy started playing the piano. Hope hopped off the barstool and bounced over to the piano like a little girl.

"I didn't know you could play the piano. Do you know _Embraceable You_"?" Hope asked.

"I believe so," he responded and started playing the first few notes of the song. Hope hummed along for a few bars. She wanted to sing, but was nervous singing around people she didn't know. Father Mulcahy whispered, "Do you know the words? Go ahead and sing if you want to."

She bit her lip. "Here's goes nothing!" Hope took a deep breath and started singing-

_Embrace me_

_My sweet embraceable you_

The Officers Club got very quiet. Hope started to get a galloping case of stage fright. Her legs started shaking. To fight it, she encouraged everyone to sing along with her. They joined in.

_Embrace me_  
_My irreplaceable you_  
_Just to look at you_  
_My heart grows tipsy in me_  
_You and you alone_  
_Bring out the gypsy in me_

_I love all_  
_The many charms about you_  
_Above all_  
_I want my arms about you_  
_Don't be naughty baby_  
_Come to me_  
_Come to me do_  
_My sweet embraceable you_

Everyone cheered and clapped. Hope grinned and bowed. Once again Hawkeye was looking at Hope with a love struck expression on his face. BJ poked him in the ribs, "You're doing it again Hawk. The love struck teenager thing!"

Hawkeye came back to earth. "What? I don't know what you're talking about. I was just thinking that Hope has a nice voice."

BJ laughed and patted his friend on the back, "O.K., if you say so."

When Hope got ready to leave the Officer's Club, she had a trail of people following her complementing her singing. She was blushing so furiously she could feel her cheeks burn.

Father Mulcahy said, "Now I know you sing well, how about singing at the Sunday service?"

"How about _Amazing Grace_ and _Rock of Ages_?" Colonel Potter asked.

"Sure, but I don't want to sing solo. It's always better when folks sing together. Besides I have awful stage fright!" Hope responded.

The Colonel turned to everyone standing around him. "Alright everyone, I want to see your smiling faces at service Sunday morning. That's an order if you catch my drift." He smiled.

"Good," he said. "I'll see all of your come Sunday!"

Hawkeye came up to Hope and started walking beside her. "Hey would you like to come back to the Swamp for nightcap?"

"O.K., is the nightcap a homemade brew?" Hope asked him.

"Yep, our very own creation. I mean mine and BJ's that is."

"O.K., lead the way," she told him.

When she entered the Swamp her first words were, "It certainly has that "lived in" look! I think I need that drink now." She giggled and Hawkeye grinned.

Hawkeye poured her a "Swamp Special". The first sip took her breath away.

"Oh, God! The last time I had anything that kicked like this was when my cousin Tommy gave me a drink from of his stash of moonshine." She sat down on the first thing she could find, which happened to be Hawkeye's bed. He joined her and scooted closer.

For someone who was never at a loss for words, Hawkeye didn't know what to say. He just wanted to hold and kiss her. Instead he put his hand lightly on her hand. "Is this o.k?'

She looked at him, smiled and placed her head on his shoulder. For Hawkeye it was enough for the time being.

"**Embraceable You" was written by Irving Berlin (the man who wrote "White Christmas"). There will be more Father Mulcahy next time! Thanks for reading! And I didn't realize until I posted this chapter that it's a little shorter than the last one. I just thought I ended this one at a good stopping place!**


	4. Chapter 4

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 4- CALLINGS AND ALTERATIONS**

Hope took advantage of a quiet Saturday evening to write a letter to her folks.

_Dear Mama and Daddy._

_I made it to the 4077__th__ safe and sound. I received a baptism of fire when I arrived. Not sooner than I hopped out of the jeep, there were incoming wounded. The camp chaplain, Father Mulcahy directed me to the head nurse. ( I think you would like him.) In less than 10 minutes I had scrubbed and was assisting in the OR. It was loud, bloody organized chaos. I was not prepared for it!_

_Most everyone here has been very kind and welcoming. They are showing me the ropes._

_I wish I could do something for them. Mama, do you think the ladies at church could make up a lot of cookies and send them over here? Any good homemade food would be welcome. I know I should give thanks in all things, but the food here is truly awful!_

_Father Mulcahy has asked me to sing at tomorrow morning's service. I agreed, but I'm already nervous about it. I said if everyone would sing with me I'd do it._

_Thank Heavens, Col. Potter (the commanding officer) requested (gently ordered) that everyone come to the service. _

Hope stopped writing and remembered she had talked to Father Mulcahy about the service and when he wanted the hymns sung. She picked up the pen and wrote,

_Sorry, I have to make this short. I'll write more soon. All my love, Hope_

She ran to Mulcahy's tent and rapped on the door loudly. It startled him because he was intently working on his sermon.

With an annoyed tone in his voice he said, "Come in!" When Hope came in, he felt bad that he shouted at her.

"I'm sorry Francis, but I forgot to ask you what hymns you wanted tomorrow and when you wanted them sung, I hate to bother you on Saturday night. Growing up, Saturday night was sacrosanct to Daddy. Family members weren't to have a crisis or die that night or on Sunday morning!"

He smiled at this and wondered what it would be like to have a family to interrupt his sermon preparation.

"That's ok Hope. Why don't we have the hymns first to get everybody warmed up for the sermon?'

"Sounds good to me," she responded.

He pointed at the extra chair in his tent. "Why don't you sit down and we can talk a little bit. We really haven't had time this week."

"O.K, if you're sure I'm not interrupting anything."

"Oh yes, I'm sure. My sermon is as good as it's going to get. Now it's up to the Lord." He looked up and smiled."I can tell by your accent that you are from somewhere in the South."

"Yep. Born and raised in Georgia. I've lived there all my life until I joined the Army. As for my family, you already know my dad's a minister and I have 2 sisters. Now tell me do you have any siblings?"

"Yes, several brothers and one sister. My sister is a Sister."

"She's a nun? I used to daydream about being a nun, a medical missionary. Can you imagine that being a little Protestant girl's daydream?"

"Well no, not really." He responded. "Do you think there's more to it than just a daydream, that maybe you had a calling to be a nurse?"

"Yes I really do. I thought I wanted to be a missionary, but I had to find a way to pay for my nursing education. That's the reason I joined the Army."

"Now it's my turn to ask you a question. When did you feel called to the priesthood?' she asked.

"When I was about twelve years old, I saw how much our parish priest brought help and comfort to people and I was drawn to his example. Somehow, I knew it would be my life's work."

"Did you expect to wind up being a chaplain in Korea?"

"No, I had dreams of being a parish priest, but God had other plans. He seems to do that a lot doesn't he?"

"Yes he does. But I think there are people that we are meant to meet and help and that's why we are here." She said.

"God's ways certainly are mysterious!," he responded.

They continued their conversation for awhile. Hope yawned and stood up to leave.. "Well I think I better go. Tomorrow will be here before we know it. Good night Francis. Thank you for being my friend."

"Thanks Hope. I feel blessed by your friendship. Good night," he said, thinking with a little sadness that for him a woman could only and always be just a friend.

While walking back to the nurses' tent she thought about Sunday services at home. She always liked to dress her best on Sundays. "But I don't have anything but fatigues and my Class A uniform. Wonder if Klinger would loan me something?" She ran to his tent and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's Hope, Max'" she answered. "May I come in? I've got a big favor to ask."

"Sure Lieutenant. Come on in."

Max opened the door standing there in a pink bathrobe, fuzzy slippers and a scarf tied around his head smoking a cigar.

"Max you really look great in pink!" Hope giggled. "I'll make it quick. I can see you're ready to go to sleep. Would you have a dress or a skirt and blouse I could borrow to wear to tomorrow's service."

His eyes lit up. He never thought he'd be lending any of his clothes to a nurse. "Let's see what we can find," as he walked over to the rack full of his section 8 clothes.

"You know, most of my stuff is gonna be too long for you. I'll be glad to hem up anything you want to wear."

They looked through his things and Hope found a skirt and blouse that she thought would work. She took them to her tent, put them on and came back to Klinger's tent so he could help her with the hem. She stood on a chair while he pinned up the hem.

Someone knocked on his door. Hope and Klinger said "Come in."

In walked Col. Potter with something he needed to ask the corporal about. "Uh Klinger….Well hell's bells! What are you two doing?"

"Max is hemming up a skirt I'm going to wear tomorrow morning," Hope answered. "Is there anything you needed sir?"

"I wanted know where you filed an x-ray I need to look at. Can't find it anywhere. But it can wait. You two kids need to finish what you're doing. See you in the morning. Good night." He shook his head as he walked out of the tent.

Hope and Klinger smiled at each other and got back to their alteration work. When he finished, Hope jumped down off the chair and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Thanks Max! Good night."

"Good night Hope, see you in the morning."

**Thank you, Gentle Reader, for taking the time to read this chapter. Your feedback and reviews mean so much! More to come soon!**


	5. Chapter 5

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 5- SUNDAY INTERRUPTED**

Before the sun rose Sunday morning, Hope had already showered and put on the skirt and blouse that Klinger loaned her. A little lipstick and a comb through her hair and she was good to go.

When she arrived at the mess tent to grab a cup of coffee and a brown shingle that passed for toast, Father Mulcahy was already there. She sat beside him. "Good morning Francis. Ready for the service?"

He looked over at her, noticing that she was out of uniform. "Yes, I think so. You look ready for Sunday. It's nice to see someone dressed on Sunday morning in something besides a uniform ."

Hope smiled, stood up and twirled around. "Thanks. I had a little help from Klinger. He loaned me the skirt and blouse and altered them for me."

Hope added,"By the way, do you have any hymn books that can be used this morning? I didn't think about until just now. Also, what about an accompaniment to the singing?"

Father Mulcahy scratched his head. "I have a few hymn books that people can share. As for accompaniment to the singing, we would have to move the piano from the officers club to here. If you like, I'll try to round up some help to move it over here."

She touched his arm. He looked down her hand. She snatched it away embarrassed. She answered quickly "Uh no, let's don't worry about it. We just sing a cappella. It will be fine."

"Good morning!" Colonel Potter said as he walked up to the table with a cup of coffee and sat down. He had noticed Hope touching the chaplain's arm. He kept his thoughts about that to himself.

"Looking forward to some singing and your sermon. You should have a packed house. It'll do us all good."

Mulcahy responded, "I sure hope so. It will be nice to see so many faces at service for a change."

Colonel Potter finished his coffee and stood up to leave. "Well, I'll go round up folks for the service. Be back in a few minutes."

In the Swamp, BJ was already up and trying to get his roommates stirring. He shook the end of Hawkeye's bed. "Come on , get up. Colonel Potter wants our bright and shining faces at that service this morning."

Hawkeye just groaned and rolled over. Charles rose up looking and growling like a bear then flopped back down on his bed.

"Come on you two. Up and at ' em. Don't want to be late do we?'' BJ sounded disgustingly cheerful.

Both Hawkeye and Charles pelted him with pillows and curses.

"Leave me alone!" Charles growled. Hawkeye whined, "Don't wanna get up Mom, just a few more minutes!"

"No boys. You've gotta get up. Wouldn't to disappoint the pretty new song leader would we?" BJ teased them.

Somehow that comment got through to Hawkeye's sleep clouded brain. He sat straight up, yawned and stretched. He grabbed his robe and headed for the shower.

Charles continued lying like a lump in his bed, growling. "Why should I have to suffer through a boring sermon and caterwauling of a chorus or two of old hymns? "

BJ walked over to Charles' bed , leaned over him and yelled in his ear, "Because it's not about what you want ,you pompous ass! Get up and go for Father Mulcahy and Hope's sake. Besides, Colonel Potter is expecting everyone who is able to be there."

Charles sat up, rubbed his face. Not saying a word to BJ, he got up and stomped towards the shower.

When Hawkeye arrived at the mess tent to grab a cup of coffee he found Father Mulcahy and Hope setting up for the service. He sat the cup down and walked over to Hope. She was struggling to set up the benches in rows.

"Here Hope, let me help you with those benches." He took the one she was dragging into place out of her hands and put it in place.

"Thanks Hawkeye! I'll go get the hymn books and put them out." She walked over to the table where the books were stacked.

He watched her walk across the room noticing she almost skipped. Hawkeye had noticed she walked with a skip to her step most of the time. He smiled.

Father Mulcahy saw him smiling and walked over to Hawkeye.. "Have you noticed how Lt. Jones practically skips when she's happy? It's endearing don't you think?"

Hawkeye was surprised to hear the priest talking about a woman like that. "Yes, Father. It sure is." He quickly changed the subject by asking, "Is there anything else I can do to help?"

"No, I think we're ready. I see a few people on their way here."

Col. Potter followed by Klinger and Major Houlihan came in, then BJ followed by a morose Charles Winchester. Hope came over to them. "Good morning! Col. Potter, Major Houlihan. Ah, Klinger I love your outfit. You are certainly dressed in your Sunday best!"

Max was wearing a floral print dress with a big hat, necklace and matching earrings. " Thank you Lieutenant. I brought you something to dress up your outfit." He pulled out a silver necklace out of his purse. "Here, let me put it on."

She turned away and lifted her hair so Klinger could put the necklace around her neck. When he was done, she turned around, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and whispered, "Thanks Max, you're a sweetheart!"

Max blushed furiously. " You're welcome," he said softly.

More people came in and found seats. Charles came in with BJ prodding his back. Charles turned and gave his companion an angry glare. They sat on the second row, although if Charles had had his way he would have been on the back row closest to the exit. BJ was making sure he wouldn't make a quick getaway while everyone was singing.

After everyone seated, Father Mulchay welcomed them by saying, "Good morning. It is so good to see new faces! He thought, "Attendance has increased 99%. Thank the Lord and Col Potter!"

"Let us pray. Dear Lord, thank you for this day. Sustain us in the work you have called us to do. Amen."

He nodded to Hope. She left her seat beside Hawkeye to lead the singing. "I am so glad to see so many of you. Let's make a ""joyful noise" by singing Amazing Grace found on page 2 of the hymn books. We only have a few books so please be nice and share with your neighbor." She grinned.

Hope started singing-

_Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,  
That saved a wretch like me.  
I once was lost but now am found,  
Was blind, but now I see._

By the third line everyone had joined in, some with more enthusiasm than others. Col. Potter and Klinger were giving it their all. Hope was amused to see BJ nudging Charles to sing. It looked like an "unholy war" might erupt between those two. Hawkeye and Margaret Houlihan were sharing a hymn book. Margaret was singing, but Hawkeye was staring at Hope smiling.

Hope cupped her right ear with her hand, encouraging the little congregation to sing louder.

_T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.  
And Grace, my fears relieved.  
How precious did that Grace appear  
The hour I first believed_.

_Through many dangers, toils and snares  
I have already come;  
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far  
and Grace will lead me home._

By the fourth verse, everyone was singing with all their hearts.

_Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,  
And mortal life shall cease,  
I shall possess within the veil,  
A life of joy and peace._

When the song was finished, Hope called out, "Please turn to page 25 and we will sing Rock of Ages. I understand this is a favorite of Colonel Potter, so give this one all you've got. We want to make our C.O. happy don't we?" She grinned.

The sound of helicopters drowned out the first words to the hymn. Colonel Potter looked up and said, "O.K. folks let's go. God wouldn't want us to wait to take care of these boys coming in."

When Hope saw the disappointed face of Father Mulcahy, it broke her heart. She ran to him and said, "Francis, I am so sorry. This is one of those times God has other plans. Let's go carry them out." She ran outside the tent to assist with triage.

He looked up and asked the Lord, "Why? I had a full house for the first time since I've been here. To be honest Lord, I'm disappointed." He sighed, "But you know where I'm really needed today." He took off his robe, put on his hat, grabbed his prayer book and headed out to assist with the incoming wounded.

**Poor Father Mulcahy! He had a full house for once and couldn't preach his sermon. Someone has said "Life is what happens to us while we make other plans." However, dear readers please plan to review this chapter and read the next one coming soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

**HOPE'S CALLING –CHAPTER 6- I'M HUMAN**

The first wounded man Hope came to help looked like a 12 year old boy. "Either I'm getting old or they're drafting babies now," she thought. With sandy blond hair and blue eyes, he looked like the "boy next door". His face was covered with dried blood and there was a gaping wound in his chest.

She looked at his dog tag. His name was William Cooper. "Hello William, I'm Lt. Jones." Hope brushed back his hair from his forehead.

The frightened young soldier was moaning in pain. "Where am I? Am I going to die?"

Hope was afraid she already had the answer for the second question, but just answered him, "You're at MASH 4077, William. We're going to take good care of you." She stroked his face gently, then turned and called out loudly, "I need a doctor here, NOW!" Then she looked at William's dog tag again and saw there was a "C" beside the line for religion. "And Father Mulcahy, too!"

Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy came running. Hawkeye knelt down and examined William. When he looked at Hope, he sighed and shook his head and whispered, "It's a matter of minutes Hope." He turned to Father Mulcahy and said, "It's your job now Father."

Hawkeye saw the tears well in Hope's eyes. He wanted to stay there with them, but he knew he was needed elsewhere. Hawkeye squeezed Hope's shoulder as he walked past her.

Father Mulcahy knelt down beside the young soldier. "Hello, I'm Father Mulcahy. Would it be alright with you if we prayed?"

William struggled to answer. Responding in a whisper, he said, "Sure Father. Can we say the "Our Father" ?

"Of course." He started the prayer.

_Our Father who art in Heaven,  
Hallowed be thy name;  
Thy kingdom come  
Thy will be done  
On earth as it is in heaven.  
Give us this day our daily bread;  
And forgive us our trespasses  
As we forgive those who trespass against us;  
And lead us not into temptation,  
But deliver us from evil_

Amen.

William was gasping for breath, but he managed to ask, "Father would you hear my confession?"

The chaplain responded, "Oh, yes."

Hope moved away to give them some privacy. After Father Mulcahy had heard the young man's confession, he motioned Hope to come back.

Hope knelt down and took William's hand. "Hi Handsome, I'm back. " She started singing

_I'll be seeing you  
In all the old familiar places  
That this heart of mine embraces  
All day and through_

_In that small cafe_  
_The park across the way_  
_The children's carousel_  
_The chestnut trees, the wishing well_

_I'll be seeing you_  
_In every lovely summer's day_  
_In everything that's light and gay_  
_I'll always think of you that way_

_I'll find you in the morning sun_  
_And when the night is new_  
_I'll be looking at the moon_  
_But I'll be seeing you_

_I'll be seeing you_  
_In every lovely summer's day_  
_In everything that's light and gay_  
_I'll always think of you that way_

_I'll find you in the morning sun_  
_And when the night is new_  
_I'll be looking at the moon_  
_But I'll be seeing you_

He smiled at Hope. "Gee thanks Lieutenant, that was…" He gasped and took his last breath. Hope bent down and kissed his forehead. "Bye sweetheart."

Father Mulcahy touched Hope's shoulder, "Hope, he's gone. I know you don't want to go, but you're needed in O.R."

She looked at him and nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks, and made her way toward O.R. Once there, she scrubbed and put on a gown, cap and mask. Major Houlihan motioned to her across the room.

As Hope walked up to her the Major asked, "Where have been? You should have been here 10 minutes ago!"

Hope answered , "Yes, Major, I know. But.."

Houlihan cut her off. "There's no time to discuss this now. I will see you after we're finished here. Go work with Pierce."

"Yes ma'am." Hope went over to the table where Hawkeye was working, He asked her, "Did the kid you and Father Mulcahy were with pass away?"

She looked up at him, her eyes shining with tears ."Yes, shortly after you left. He lived long enough for Father Mulcahy to her his confession. I am so glad Francis was there with him."

"Hope are you alright? I know it's tough to see young men die so senselessly, but it you will get used to it."

She responded to him in a barely audible voice, "Hawkeye, if I hear "you will get used to it" one more time, I will scream. I will never get used to it. I refuse to get used to it But, I will do my job even if it breaks my heart."

Hawkeye didn't say anything else to Hope for the rest of the time they were in surgery except to ask for the instruments he needed.

Ten hours later, when they were finished in O.R., Hawkeye walked outside to see Hope sitting on a bench. She had a vacant look in her eyes. He sat down beside her. "Hope?' She didn't responded. He touched her arm. She pulled away, got up and walked off. He followed her. She kept on going until he stopped in front of her.

"Hope stop. Please just stop and let me talk to you," he said gently.

"What's there to talk about Hawkeye? What can you say that will make any difference?'

He didn't answer her. Instead, he pulled her to him and put his head on top of her head and put his face in her hair. "Nothing Hope. Just this"

He reached down and kissed her softly and didn't let go of her. Hope settled in his arms and would have stayed there forever if Major Houlihan hadn't walked up to them. "Alright Lieutenant, it's time to talk."

Hope had controlled her emotions since she arrived at the 4077th. She had done that all her life. She swallowed anger and buried it deep inside. But now it wouldn't stay buried. She exploded.

"Major, when I joined the Army, I committed myself to doing my job and following orders. However, I'm not regular army like you, I'm human! I make mistakes."

Houlihan was so shocked by Hope's outburst; she was speechless for a few seconds.

Hope thought, "Oh God, I wish I could roll what I just said back in my mouth."

When Major Houlihan finally spoke, she told Hope, "I will try and forget what you just said, but if there is another outburst from you like this, I will put you on report." She walked away without giving Hope to a chance to respond or offer an apology.

**Well now, you have seen another side to Hope. The next chapter won't be so sad. I promise!**


	7. Chapter 7

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 7- ROAD TRIP**

After the long hours of surgery and the confrontation with Major Houlihan, all Hope wanted to do was collapse in her bed. On her way to the nurses' tent, she was stopped by Father Mulcahy.

"Hope, if you are not on duty tomorrow morning, would you would like to go with me to take supplies to St. Teresa's Orphanage?

His question was one of the two good things that happened to her that long, horrible day, the other thing being Hawkeye's kiss.

She smiled and said, "Yes, that would be wonderful! It's been ages since I've been around little ones. When do you want to leave?"

"I was thinking around 06:00 to get an early start," he told her.

"O.K. I guess I should go tell Major Houlihan that I will be going with you to the orphanage in the morning."

"Hope, I be happy to tell her and Colonel Potter our plans for going to St. Teresa's."

She thought about her confrontation with the Major and decided it would be better for him to tell her. "Thanks, Francis. That would take a load off my shoulders. I really don't think it's a good idea for me to talk to the Major right now," Hope told him. "I'll tell you later about my last conversation with her."

"Well good night Hope; see you bright and early in the morning."

She yawned and said, "It may be early but I don't think I'll be very bright. Really not a morning person. Good night."

Hope was surprised when she woke up at 05:00 without feeling like she'd been hit in the head by a rock. As she made her way to the shower, she met Klinger headed towards the mess tent.

"Good morning Hope what are doing up so early?"

" Father Mulcahy asked me to go with him to take supplies to the orphanage. We're leaving at 6. Why are you out and about before God gets up?" She laughed.

"I have to help get things set up for breakfast in the mess tent." An idea flashed in his mind. "Would you like to wear a dress for your trip instead of fatigues? I've got a little red gingham number that would be the perfect "a day in the country" dress."

She hugged him. "Oh Max! What would I do without you as my fashion consultant?"

"You'd be destined to wear green, green and more green all the time! I'll go get the dress. Wait right here."

After Klinger brought Hope the dress, she showered and headed back to her tent to dress . She put on an old pair of white canvas sneakers and tied her hair back with a scarf. Father Mulcahy met up with her as she entered the mess tent.

He noticed the dress. "Good morning Hope. You look nice. Are you ready to go?"

"Do we have time to get a cup of the mud that passes for coffee around here?," she asked him.

"Yes and we should have some breakfast , too. Although, eating breakfast here followed by a long jeep ride may not be the best idea." He laughed.

"True, but let's live dangerously today," she told him as they entered the mess tent.

Klinger saw them come in. "Welcome! Would you two like the earlybird special?''

They walked up to the steam table. There was something gelatinous and yellow masquerading as scrambled eggs, black stick like things that must have been bacon at one time and a gray cement- like substance. Oatmeal, maybe?

Hope shook her head, "I'm sorry Max, but you must mean the "dead bird special". I'll just go with a cup of mud and a shingle, AKA coffee and toast."

"What about you Father?" Klinger asked.

"I'll have a cup of mud and a shingle, too," he replied smiling.

They took their coffee and toast over to a table and sat down. "Well Francis, how long with it take for us to get to St. Teresa's orphanage?"

"About an hour, if the road is o.k," he answered.

"You mean if no one shoots at us?"

"That and more importantly if we don't hit any of the enormous potholes that the road is "blessed" with."

"Then I hope and pray our guardian angels will be on duty. Do you have all the supplies ready to go?"

"Yes, they're already in the jeep."

For some reason Hope felt like they needed to take a few other things with them. "Maybe we should fill up a couple of canteens with water and take ponchos, just in case it starts to rain. I'm finished with my gourmet breakfast, so I'll go get the canteens and the ponchos and meet you at the jeep in 5 minutes."

When Hope got to the jeep a few minutes later, Father Mulcahy was securing the boxes of supplies. Hope hopped up in the driver's seat.

"Hope, let me drive. I do know the way to the orphanage. "

She sighed as she walked around to the passenger's side of the jeep. "I'm sorry, it's just that I haven't driven a car in over a year."

"That's alright. You can be the chauffer on the way back.''

**Now we have the beginning of Hope and Father Mulcahy's trip to the orphanage. This will be an interesting trip (adventure)! More to come soon. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!**


	8. Chapter 8

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 8-****ROAD TRIP- PART 2**

Hope had never been bounced around so much in her life. "Boy, you weren't kidding about this road!', she told Father Mulcahy. "I don't think my spine will ever be the same."

"It's a good thing I'm only going 20 miles an hour in this jeep. Can you imagine what it would be like if I was going 40? Which, by the way, is as fast as this thing will go," he responded.

Hope laughed. "I guess that means no racing in this thing! When I get back home, just give me a V-8 engine and a wide open road, minus the potholes! When my dad was teaching me to drive, he called me Princess Leadfoot."

He smiled and thought, "Maybe I need to talk Hope out of driving back to camp."

"Francis, you got quiet all of a sudden. Does the thought of me driving this jeep make you nervous?", she asked.

He glanced at her and simply said, "Well…"

She playfully smacked him on the arm. "It's o.k. Francis. I promise I'll be good when I drive us back home! On to a less nerve racking subject, tell me about the orphanage.''

"There are usually 20 children there. Three nuns run the orphanage. "

"Wow, three nuns take care of 20 kids. They have their hands full! I had trouble handling 5 kids when I taught Sunday school. It takes a special calling to sacrifice your whole life to care for children who are not your own."

"I imagine if you were to tell that to the sisters ,they would tell you that anything done for someone else out of love is no sacrifice," Father Mulcahy told her.

"That sounds like something my Daddy would say. He's a wise man like you. Now, going from the sacred to the mundane. My poor backside is screaming! How much longer until we get there?

He laughed, "You sound like a little girl on a long road trip. I'd say we'll be there in about 15 minutes."

She groaned and slid down in her seat. "This will be the longest 15 minutes of my life!"

When they finally arrived at the orphanage, they were greeted by a running, laughing welcoming committee of 20 children with the nuns following closely behind them. Father Mulcahy got out of jeep first and went around to the back to take out the supplies. As soon as Hope stepped out of the jeep, 2 little girls grabbed her legs. She bent down to greet them. "Hi there, I'm Hope. What a welcome!"

The nun who had been standing beside the two little girls said, "Hello, I'm Sister Mary Margaret. I'm charge of this place."

Hope reached and shook the nun's hand. "Hi Sister, you have quite a lively bunch here. I bet they keep you on your toes!"

Sister Mary Margaret laughed. "Yes they do. Not a moment's rest, except at night when the children are asleep. Then all I can do is pray then fall in my bed!"

After Father Mulcahy took the supplies inside the orphanage, Sister Mary Margaret showed them around the place. Although he had been there numerous times, he always enjoyed seeing it. There sleeping area was one large room. Each child had a little table beside their bed to make their own. Some tables were bare, but many had toys or things the children had collected like rocks, leaves and feathers. The walls were covered with drawings done by the children and at one end of the room hung a large painting of an angel.

"I love this room," Hope said. "Especially the painting of the angel. Who did that? It's wonderful!"

Sister Clare blushed and answered, '' I did. Someone donated the paints to the orphanage. I can draw, but that's the first time I ever painted a picture."

"It's wonderful to have that angel watching over the children. You are blessed with artistic talent. I can't even draw a straight line!" Hope laughed.

"Father, will you and Hope be able to stay for lunch? It won't be much, just rice, cabbage and little fish," Sister Mary Margaret asked him. "That is, if you have time."

"Yes Sister, we have time. Hope doesn't go on duty until this evening," he told her.

Hope was smiling at the thought of spending the day with the children. "Oh, good. We can stay and play this afternoon!''

After lunch, Hope and Father Mulcahy joined the children in a game of kickball followed by Hide and Seek. One little boy found Hope hiding under the jeep and squealed with delight when he found her. She -rolled out from under it and realized she had gotten the dress Klinger loaned her very dirty. "I hope Max won't be too mad when he sees what I've done to his dress!"

She took the little boy's hand and they walked over to where Father Mulcahy, the nuns and the rest of the children were sitting on the grass. Hope flopped down on the ground beside the priest and one of the little girls came and sat in her lap. Hope wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tight. At that moment, Francis Mulcahy felt an emotion he thought he would never feel for a woman. He was falling in love with Hope.

Hope saw the expression on his face grow serious. "Francis, are you alright? Is something bothering you?"

"I'm just tired Hope that's all," he told her. Silently he prayed, "Lord forgive me for lying."

"O.K., if you say so," but she didn't quite believe him. Then she noticed Sister Clare with paper and pencil in hand drawing a picture. "Sister Clare, what are you drawing? May I see?"

Sister Clare held up the pad of paper for Hope to see the drawing. It was a picture of Hope,Father Mulcahy, and the little girl. They looked like a family together for a day in the park. " When she touched his shoulder, he jumped. "Look at the picture Sister Clare has drawn."

When he saw it, he looked down at the ground not saying anything. Hope whispered in his ear, "Are you sure you're alright?"

He didn't answer her question. Instead he stood up and said, "Hope, I think it's time we headed back to the 4077th. Wouldn't want you to be late for work."

Something was definitely bothering him, but she didn't press him about it.

As they were leaving, Sister Clare gave the picture to Hope. "Thanks Sister. I'll treasure this. It will help me remember this day."

Hope got in the driver's seat of the jeep and started the engine. Francis Mulcahy was silently praying once again. This time it was about Hope's driving.

Hope and Francis waved good bye and headed back home to camp.

**My apologies, Dear Reader, for the delay in posting this chapter. Another story I'm working on had my attention this week. As always, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading this story. Please review! Thanks!**


	9. Chapter 9 The Accident

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 9- THE ACCIDENT**

Father Mulcahy was quite, too quiet for Hope. Was it her driving? She was keeping the speed down to 25, mindful of the potholes. Every time she opened her mouth to say something, she closed it quickly. Hope really wanted to know what was troubling him before they got back home. She would be on duty almost the minute they got there and didn't know when she would have time to speak with him privately again. Incoming wounded didn't come on schedule.

After 15 minutes of this silence, it was more than she could stand. "Francis, talk to me. Back at the orphanage did I do or say something to upset you? Please tell me, I'm your friend."

He closed his eyes and sighed, "Hope, please don't ask me. I just can't…. Oh God, watch the …"

The jeep hit a pothole the size of a crater on the moon. It flipped over on its left side, throwing Hope and Francis out of the jeep. Hope hit the ground with a thud. In those seconds, which seemed like an eternity, she felt no pain. "O.K., so this is what being dead is like. Look Lord, I thought you'd be a little more original with Heaven than this. Heaven looks just like Korea. Don't get me wrong, I was just hoping for something different."

The pain that flooded her body let her know that she was definitely in Korea not heaven. "Oh crap! I'm alive!" Every part of her was on fire with pain. Once Hope had established she was still alive, she thought of her friend but she wasn't ready to try moving.

She yelled, "Francis, Francis where are you? Francis! Francis, answer me!"

He moaned softly. She heard him, but couldn't see him. "Where are you, Francis?"

"Over here Hope." His voice was barely audible.

She finally saw him and started to stand up and go to him. When Hope put her weight on her right foot, there was a sickening pop. Immediately she landed back on the ground with an unceremonious plop. "Well I guess I'll crawl. What a damn nuisance!"

Hope spent five minutes, which seemed like fifty, crawling over to him. She found him laying face down with blood trickling down from his forehead. His glasses were nowhere to be seen.

"Do you think you're able to turn over? I need to look at you."

He groaned and managed to roll over on to his back. "My head fells like someone dropped an anvil on it!"

"Francis, try to open your eyes wide for me. I want to look at your pupils." Thank God, they were equal and he was conscious. "Do you think you could manage to walk over to that tree?" She pointed to one that was a few feet away. "I'm going to crawl over to it. I think my ankle is broken."

He managed to make it to the tree, put his back against it and slid down to the ground. Hope started crawling towards it. Hearing the dress ripping apart in several places, she stopped and pulled the thing away from her knees. "Oh great, just great!" she thought. "I'm out in the middle of nowhere, hurt, in a ripped dress with a priest." Then the thought occurred to her to see if she could find the canteens and ponchos before she got to the tree.

Hope crawled back to the jeep and found both canteens and ponchos laying on the ground right by the jeep." Thank God for small miracles! She grabbed them and started crawling toward the tree. It wasn't easy but she made it.

Without his glasses the world was one big blur to Father Mulcahy. He did manage to make out that Hope's dress was half way torn apart. He cleared his throat and looked away. "Uh Hope, you know those ponchos you brought along? Even though it's not raining, you need to put one on."

She looked at herself to see that her bra was clearly visible since the top part of the dress had a hug rip on the right side that went from the shoulder almost to the waist. "Oh!"Hope threw a poncho on. "Sorry I "flashed" you Francis."

"I've got to ask you some questions Francis and they're not about what you weren't talking about be for we landed here. How do you feel? Dizzy? Does your head hurt? What about anywhere else?"

He sighed and said, "Inside my head it feels like someone is playing the Anvil Chorus or the 1812 Overture. Yes, I'm dizzy and I hurt everywhere!" He was hurting; he was frustrated and very angry with Hope because her insistence to know what was bothering him had led to the accident.

She knew he was angry with her, but wasn't concerned with that at that moment. Hope really wanted to know his physical condition. Only God knew how long it would be before someone found them. "Look Francis, I know you're mad at me. Yes, it's my fault we had this accident. But right now I am more interested in finding out how badly you're hurt."

"Oh Hope, I'm sorry." He had pulled his knees up to his chest and was resting his head on them. She scooted closer to him and put her hand on his shoulder. "It's alright. I just want to know how to take care of you until help gets here. You do the praying and I'll do the nursing. Sound like a fair division of labor?" She smiled.

He relaxed and put his legs down and his head against the tree and smiled. "Yes, that sounds right."

"O.K., I think you have a concussion and you will need to stay awake tonight, just as a precaution. So that means we're going to have to do something to keep both of us awake, like talking." He opened his mouth to object, but she held up her hand to stop him." Look we can talk "around" around any subject you want to avoid, but you've got to stay awake."

"Alright Hope," he sighed. "This is going to be a long night."

**Francis is right. He and Hope have a long night ahead of them. Thanks so much for reading this story. Please review if you're so inclined. I really appreciate it!**


	10. Chapter 10 The Long Night

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 10- THE LONG NIGHT**

It was a long 10 minutes before either one of them spoke.

Father Mulcahy broke the silence. "I wonder how long it will be before anyone starts to miss us?"

Hope sighed, "Oh God, Major Houlihan is going to kill me. I'm sure not going to make my shift tonight. She'll chew my hide! This mess we're in is all my fault. I can't leave things alone and mind my own business."

"O.K., Hope, time to change the subject. It won't do either of us any good to have a pity party about what happened. It won't change a thing," he told her.

"Yep, you're right. What shall we discuss then? The meaning of life? Which team will win the World Series this year? The price of peaches in Paraguay?" she sighed.

"Well, what about our best friends when we were kids?" he suggested. "My best friend was named Bobby. We went everywhere together and we got in trouble together."

"You Francis, in trouble? Never!" she laughed.

"Well it's true. Let's see. There was the time Bobby and I put frogs in the baptismal font. Everything was fine until they started croaking and then it really hit the fan when the priest took off the cover of the font."

"Don't tell me," she laughed. "He was about to baptize someone?"

"Oh, yes. The baby started screaming his head off. His godmother fainted. All you know what broke out during that mass! Now what about you?"

"My cousin Tommy and I were partners in crime. Like you and Bobby, we went just about everywhere together. Tommy and I liked to bring God's little creatures with us to Sunday night services. We would sit on the back pew closest to the door. I would bring Bootsy, my cat and he would bring his dog, Buster. Sometimes we would bring rabbits or squirrels. One night a raccoon came in while we were all praying and joined my Dad at the pulpit. When the prayer was over and everyone opened their eyes, the raccoon was standing on the pulpit. You should have heard the screams. Before Daddy could give the benediction, the church was empty."

Major Houlihan charged into Colonel Potter's office. "I'm putting Lt. Jones on report. She was supposed to be on duty an hour ago! " No sooner than she said this, in came Hawkeye and Klinger. Klinger said "Colonel, Hope and Father Mulcahy were supposed to be back an hour ago. We can't find them anywhere. Supposed something happened to them on the way back? "

Colonel Potter held up his hand. "Hold on! Something may well have happened to them, but no one is going off halfcocked in the dark looking for them. I don't want you two to wind up in a ditch somewhere. At first light, Klinger, you and Hawkeye can go out looking for them. Right now all we can do is hope and pray they're alright."

While it was still light, Hope wasn't scared. Now it was dark, every shadow, every sound caused her to jump. "Sorry Francis, I hate the dark. Every sound, everything is amplified. It's not like we're sitting around a campfire toasting marshmallows and telling ghost stories."

He pointed to toward the sky." I can't really see too well without my glasses, but it seems like we have plenty of moonlight. Is the moon full?"

"Yes, it is. I should be thankful for what we've got right now. If I weren't so scared, it would be easy to be grateful. And brave! Tell me something else you and Bobby did, something that'll top the frog story."

"Hmm…let's see. I'm not sure this tops the frog story, but here goes. There was a time when Bobby and I got hold of some of his Dad's cigars and took them to the basement to try and smoke them. Bobby's little sister ratted on us. His Dad was furious when he caught us. He made us smoke a whole cigar a piece. I was sick for 2 days! I guess it was a case of letting the punishment fit the crime."

She laughed and shook her head. "I've got one sort along the lines of your cigar story, but this one involves booze. Tommy, the ever resourceful one, got some moonshine from who knows where. I never did ask him. We took it out behind his granddaddy's barn and had a few snorts. I got so sick I wanted to die there and then. When I staggered in the house, the disappointed look on Daddy's face broke my heart. He didn't say a word. That was 10 times worse than being grounded or any other kind of punishment."

There was a growl, then another one. Hope jumped. "What the heck was that?"

Francis laughed, "That was no wild beast in the dark. It was my stomach. Gosh, I'm hungry. It's been a long time since lunch. Right now the idea of a meal in the mess tent sounds like a gourmet feast!"

"Can't do anything about food, but we do have water." She passed a canteen to him. "Maybe it'll fool our stomachs for a little while." He took a drink and passed it back to her.

Hope leaned back against the tree and closed her eyes. Her ankle was throbbing a beat someone could dance to. How tempting it would be to go to sleep to get away from the pain for a little while. Then her eyes flew open. She had to stay awake to keep Francis awake. Morning seemed like an eternity away!

When Hawkeye and Klinger left Colonel Potter's office they headed for the Swamp. BJ was already there lying on his bed looking at an ancient magazine. "Hey you two, what's the scoop on Hope and Father Mulcahy? I haven't seen them all day. I heard they left here early this morning and they haven't come back yet."

Hawkeye was pacing up and down one side of the tent. Klinger was doing the same on the other side. "Colonel Potter says we can't go looking for them until daylight," Hawkeye told him. "They're probably lying dead in a ditch somewhere!" "Or the enemy has got them and they're now POW's," Klinger added.

"Whoa! Let's not jump to conclusions here". BJ told them. "They might have had a flat tire or their jeep broke down. Come and sit down. You two are wearing grooves in the dirt." BJ filled up two glasses with the "Swamp's Finest" and handed them to his friends. Neither Hawkeye nor Klinger took a drink; they just sat there holding the glasses. "Hawk you must really be worried because you're not talking and not drinking. Klinger you look like you've lost your best friend."

Hawkeye and Klinger looked at each other and then at BJ. "Oh God, it's going to be a long night!" BJ told them.

**This" long night" is going to take more than one chapter. I'm worn out from writing this one! : ) Seriously, I'm having a ball writing this story. I hope you are enjoying it. Thanks for reading! Please review if you're so inclined.**


	11. Chapter 11 The Long Night Continues

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 11- THE LONG NIGHT GETS LONGER- SONGS AND NIGHTMARES**

Hope could have never imagined how hard it was to keep up a conversation for hours on end. "The last time I stayed up all night and talked all night was at a slumber party when I was 15. And this is nothing like that. There's no crowd of giggly teenage girls, no food and no sleeping bags, just a lot of dark and dirt. Kinda glad there's no giggly teenage girls here, but wish we at least had the food!"

Father Mulcahy smiled and turned to Hope, "I don't know anything about teenage girls and slumber parties, but I wish we at least had the food and some aspirin."

"Yea, right now I think I would take the aspirin over food. My right ankle must look like an elephant's. I'm afraid to look at it." Then Hope had a thought, so simple she could have kicked herself for not thinking of it before. Something that could help them both feel a little bit better. She started ripping off the hem of her dress to make a rag and grabbed a canteen.

He heard and saw Hope tearing at the bottom of the dress she was wearing. "Hope, what are you doing!" She started laughing. "Francis, don't get nervous. I just wanted to do this." She took the scrap of dress and poured a little water from the canteen on it and started wiping his face.

He reached out to take the rag from her. "Perhaps I should do that." Hope handed it to him and realized she was making him uncomfortable by touching him. He wiped his face and handed the rag back to her. She made use of it on her own face and put it on the ground. "I'm sorry Francis. I just thought you might feel a little better if the dried blood and dirt was off your face."

He didn't respond. What could he say to her? "Don't touch me. I'm a priest, you're a woman. Not a good combination." So he said nothing else about it.

In the Swamp, there was even less conversation going on. Hawkeye still had the same drink that BJ had given to him when he got there and so did Klinger. Not even a whole paragraph had passed between the three of them for over an hour. "Well, you two certainly know how to kill a party. How about we all get some sleep?" BJ told them. Klinger got up, said "Good night BJ. I'll see you before sunrise Hawkeye."

After Klinger had left, BJ asked his friend, "Hawkeye, I've never seen you like this about a woman. You don't try to make passes at her or say suggestive things to her. Is it because she's a minister's daughter?"

Hawkeye shrugged, "No. Maybe. I don't know. She's cute, funny, compassionate…I don't know how to explain it."

BJ laughed, "Hawkeye, you may not be able to explain why you're feeling this way, but I know this much, you are falling in love with Hope."

Hawkeye looked at his friend. "Yes BJ, I suppose I am."

Try as they might, it was getting hard for Hope and Francis to stay away. When Hope's head fell on her chest , she woke up quickly. "Francis wake up. She shook him. He didn't stir. "Francis wake up!" She poked him in the ribs.

His head shot up. "Hope! What are you doing?"

"Trying to keep you awake. You nodded off. If you nod off again, I will poke, pinch or kiss you. Take your pick."

He rolled his eyes and said, "Well Hope, I guess you'll have to poke me. Don't want to be pinched. And as to the last choice, well, let's just say, that's not an option."

"O.K., then be prepared to be poked if you fall asleep again. I know we're both really tired, but we've got keep talking to stay awake. Or we can sing. It we sound awful, nobody will hear it." She smiled.

They started singing. The first song that popped into Hope's head was _Row, Row Your Boat_.

_Row, row your boat _

_Gently down the stream_

_Merrily, merrily_

_Life is but a dream._

They sang it in unison. They sang it as a round. They sang it until it got really boring. Hope turned to Francis. "O.K., it's your turn to pick something."

"Hmm… let's see. How about _I've Been Working on the Railroad_?" He started singing and Hope joined in.

_I've been working on the railroad_

_All the live-long day._

_I've been working on the railroad_

_Just to pass the time away._

_Can't you hear the whistle blowing,_

_Rise up so early in the morn;_

_Can't you hear the captain shouting,_

_"Dinah, blow your horn!"_

_Dinah, won't you blow,_

_Dinah, won't you blow,_

_Dinah, won't you blow your horn?_

_Dinah, won't you blow,_

_Dinah, won't you blow,_

_Dinah, won't you blow your horn?_

_Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah_

_Someone's in the kitchen I know_

_Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah_

_Strummin' on the old __banjo__!_

_Singin' fee, fie, fiddly-i-o_

_Fee, fie, fiddly-i-o-o-o-o_

_Fee, fie, fiddly-i-o_

_Strummin' on the old banjo_

They sang and sang, every song they'd learned in childhood they could remember. They sang novelty songs and Christmas carols, anything but romantic songs. Neither one of them suggest any romantic ones . It was as if they had made a silent agreement not to sing those. They even sang _100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, _all the way down to the last bottle.

After an hour of this, both of them were hoarse. Hope reached for the canteen, took a swig of water and handed it to Francis. He drank some water and passed it back to her. He sighed, "Well that was fun. At least it distracted me for a little while from this fierce headache I have."

Hope chuckled. "I know what you mean. For a little while, I forgot I had this "elephant" ankle. Let's give our throats a 5 minute break." They both leaned their heads against the tree and rested.

At 3a.m., Hawkeye sat straight up in the bed and cried out, waking BJ and Charles. BJ switched on a light. Hawkeye squinted and held up his hand to shield his eyes from the light. "Beej, what was that for?"

"You were having a bad dream, Hawkeye. Go back to sleep." BJ switched off the light. He and Charles lay back down in their beds. Hawkeye, however, got up and left the Swamp. As he was walking around the camp, he almost ran smack into Klinger.

"Can't sleep either, Klinger? I've been having awful nightmares about Hope and Father Mulcahy. Let's go now. I can't stand waiting anymore!"

"Hawkeye, you know Colonel Potter will have our hide if we go out to find them in the middle of the night!"

"I don't care if he hangs me from a yardarm when we get back as long as we bring back Hope and Father Mulcahy!" Hawkeye responded.

"Me, too. We'll just hang together then." Klinger smiled.

"O.K., go grab a couple of flashlights. I'll go and get my medical bag. Meet you at the motor pool in 5 minutes Klinger."

Five minutes later they were sitting in a jeep. Klinger started the engine and they took off. The sound of the jeep going through the silent camp woke up half of the personnel. Major Houlihan came flying out of her tent. "What idiot is out in a jeep in the middle of the night?"

Colonel Potter stood beside her. "Two idiots, Margaret and I can't blame them. I'll deal with them when they get back."


	12. Chapter 12

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 12- HAVE A LITTLE FAITH**

"Come on Klinger, can't you go faster than 15 miles an hour?" Hawkeye's anxiety was getting the best of him.

"Look Hawkeye, this thing can do 40, tops. But we don't wanna do that. We could wind up in a ditch and we wouldn't be any good to Hope and Father Mulcahy." Right after he said this, he had to swerve around a pot hole. "See what I mean."

"Yeah, yeah… I know you're right," Hawkeye sighed.

The five minute rest lasted a half an hour. Hope looked over at Francis every few minutes to make sure he was awake. She could tell he was really struggling. "I'd give a month's pay for a box of toothpicks!"

Father Mulcahy asked, "Why in the world would you want toothpicks right now?"

"To prop up our eyelids! It's getting harder and harder to keep our eyes open," she laughed. Then the tone of her voice got serious. "Francis, do you think anyone will find us before long? "

"Hope, I could say yes and make you feel better, but I don't know. We just have to have faith that we'll be found. All we can really do is pray and wait."

"Yeah, you're right. I either don't have much faith or much patience. Maybe I don't have any of either one. If this is some kind of test, I didn't sign up for it.!" She pulled her legs up to her knees and rested her head on them.

"Most people don't exercise the faith they have until they're tested. There's a saying that "faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding on to," he told her.

"I don't want to exercise anything, I just want to get the heck out of here!'' she whined. Seeing the crestfallen expression on his face, Hope realized she was behaving like a cranky child that badly needed a nap, which she did; an 8 hour one. "I'm sorry Francis. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I know you're right."

"It's alright. People often say things they don't mean in very stressful situations. It just shows you're human." Without thinking, he reached over and patted her shoulder. Hope reached for his hand but he quickly pulled it away, realizing what he had done.

"Francis, why did you pull away your hand from my shoulder? I don't think there's anything wrong with doing that. Weren't you just trying to comfort me? Did I do something wrong when I tried to hold your hand? You're my friend; please tell me what's wrong."

He didn't answer her right away. What could he tell her? "I'm a priest and I'm falling in love with you. That's not supposed to happen. Touching you sure doesn't help matters!" Instead he only told her, "I'm sorry Hope, you didn't do anything wrong."

Klinger slowed the jeep down to a crawl of about 5 miles an hour. "Klinger, why the hell did you slow down this jeep? Are you trying to drive me crazier than I already am right now?"Hawkeye yelled.

"No Hawkeye, I don't think that's possible. Seriously, I thought if we went real slowly, maybe the headlights would help us see things along the sides of the road. Our goal is to find the Father and Hope. Have a little faith I know what I'm doing, O.K.?"

"Yeah, yeah, as usual, you're right," Hawkeye sighed.

An uncomfortable silence developed between Hope and Francis. They both sat there listening to the sounds of the night; insects chirping, creatures moving about in the undergrowth. Neither one of them really wanted to know what kind of things were making those sounds. Hope finally broke the silence by saying, "The only sound I want to hear right now is the sound of a jeep coming down the road. Well, let me qualify that by saying the sound of a jeep from the 4077th."

"Shh… listen Hope! What does that sound like?"

"A jeep! A jeep! That's what it sounds like! If I could stand up, I'd jump up and down and wave so they could see us. Let's hope they're going slow enough for their headlights to shine on us."

As Klinger steered the jeep around a curve in the road, its headlights shown on what looked like two figures sitting against a tree. He slowed and stopped the jeep but left the engine running. Hawkeye was out of the jeep, his medical bag on his shoulder, before Klinger could say, "Look over there, I think that's Hope and Father Mulcahy."

"Yeah, it's them. Bring a flashlight with you. Hurry up!"

Both men took off running towards the tree. Hawkeye knelt down in front of Hope and Father Mulcahy. At the same time Hope and Hawkeye said the same thing, "Oh God, I'm sure am glad to see you two!"

Hawkeye started looking at Hope for injuries. She put her hand up to stop him. "I'm sure my right ankle is broken. Francis is pretty banged up and I'm sure he has a concussion. There wasn't much I could do except keep him awake."

"Yes, Hope was pretty good at that, we told stories, we talked and sang," Mulcahy told him.

"I'm jealous Hope, you spend the night with a guy and it's not me!" Hawkeye teased.

Hope laughed, "Oh Hawkeye, you're awful! Can we go home now?"

"Yes madam, you chariot awaits you," Klinger told her.

"Klinger wait, before we leave we've got to find Francis' glasses. They've got to be around near here. I would have looked for them but my busted ankle and the dark stopped me."

"Sure thing Hope." Klinger started searching for them with his flashlight. A few minutes later he had spotted them. "Found them. They're bent up, but amazingly the lens aren't broken!" He brought them to Father Mulcahy, who managed to straighten out the glasses enough to be able to wear them. He sighed and said "Thank you Lord for three miracles; Hope and I are alive, Hawkeye and Klinger found us and my glasses are intact."

Hawkeye scooped up Hope in his arms. Klinger helped Father Mulcahy to the jeep. Once Hawkeye had Hope sitting next to him in the back seat, he said," Let's go home!"

**Finally, Hope and Father Mulcahy have been rescued! Wonder if Francis will tell Hope what's bothering him? Dear readers, thank you so much for your support and your reviews. A new chapter to follow soon. : )**


	13. Chapter 13

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 13- HOME AGAIN**

Hawkeye put his arm around Hope and pulled her close. He whispered, "Gosh, the first time I'm in the back seat of a car with you and we have chaperones!" When she didn't respond to his joke he lifted her chin and saw tears streaming down her face.

"Hawkeye, I was really scared," she sobbed softly. He reached down, first kissing her cheeks where the tears had left their traces and then her mouth. At first the kiss was soft and gentle, but it deepened and Hope responded to it by opening her mouth to him. His tongue traced the corners of her lips. She let out a long, shuddering sigh. The kiss went on until the jeep hit a small pothole. Hawkeye let out a frustrated groan. "Well that was fun while it lasted," he whispered in Hope's ear.

"Klinger watch it!" Father Mulcahy shouted. "My head already has a full orchestra inside it playing the _1812 Overture_!"

"Sorry Father," Klinger told him. "But I can't make any promises I won't hit another pothole again. I'll try to be real careful."

Mulcahy touched him on the shoulder, "It's alright Max, I know you're doing the best you can. I'm sorry I shouted at you." The priest made a silent prayer, "Thank you Lord, for being rescued. I have another favor to ask. Could we get back to camp a little faster and in one piece? Amen."

It was dawn when Klinger drove the jeep into the 4077th's compound. Colonel Potter, Major Houlihan, BJ and Charles had been sitting in the mess tent having coffee. Colonel Potter got to the jeep first. "Thank God you found them!" He pointed at Hawkeye and Klinger. "You two, I ought to string you up for going out in the middle of the night to look for them. But I won't, because I would have done the same thing." He helped Father Mulcahy out of the jeep. "Let's get the Lieutenant and the padre to Pre-Op and take a look at their injuries."

Hawkeye got out of the jeep, lifted Hope into his arms and followed the Colonel to Pre-Op. He laid Hope on a table and said, "Let's get you checked out." Major Houlihan was standing right behind him. "Oh no you don't, Pierce. BJ or Charles can look at her. I'll let you know when they're finished. Now shoo!"

Hawkeye had no choice but to leave as the Major told him to do. He winked at Hope and she suppressed a giggle.

When he was gone, Hope said, "Major, I'm really sorry about I didn't make it for duty last night and I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you the other day. There's no excuse for that."

"Now is not the time to talk about it, Lieutenant. Let's get you taken care of."

"Yes ma'am," Hope responded.

Margaret asked her an unexpected question. "Why are you wearing a poncho? It hasn't rained for several days."

To answer the Major's question, Hope pulled up the poncho to reveal the state of the dress she was wearing. "It got ripped up in the accident. I covered myself up with the poncho so as not to embarrass Father Mulcahy . Guess I owe Klinger a dress, don't I?"

Margaret didn't respond to the question. Instead she cleaned Hope's face, arms and legs and helped her in to a clean gown and called BJ over to look at Hope.

"Hi Lieutenant, I heard you and Father Mulcahy had an adventure that turned into an accident. Let me take a look at you." When he was finished, he said, "Everything looks o.k., except for your right ankle. It's swollen up to the size of Kansas." BJ touched it and she yelped. "Can you move it at all?" She tried to move the ankle and groaned while she shook her head "no". BJ took her to have it x-rayed.

On the other side of Pre-Op, Colonel Potter was looking over Father Mulcahy. "Well padre, you took a good knock to your noggin'. You do have a concussion and will probably have a humdinger of a headache for a few days, but you'll be just fine. Take it easy for a few days." Then he changed the subject. "If you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

"Our jeep hit a very large pothole and it flipped it over on its side. Hope and I were thrown out. Thank God, we weren't hurt any worse than we were. She did her best to take care of me, you'd be proud of her." Francis Mulcahy believed in telling the truth, but this time he wasn't going to elaborate on it and tell the Colonel that the accident was Hope's fault.

After BJ had looked at the x-ray, he gathered up the supplies he needed to put a cast on Hope's ankle and came back into Pre-Op. "Looks like a clean break. I'll put a cast on it and if you behave yourself in about 6 weeks, you're ankle should have healed nicely." When BJ was finished putting on the cast he told Hope," No doing the Lindy Hop or Jitterbugging for a while. I'm going to get a wheelchair for you. Be right back."

While Hope waited for BJ to come back with the wheelchair, Klinger stopped by to see her. "Hope, I'm so glad you and Father Mulcahy are o.k. "She hugged him and said, "Thanks Max. I'm sorry about the dress."

"Look kid, a dress is replaceable but you're not. Don't worry about it."

Hawkeye, not BJ, brought the wheelchair to Hope. "Your chariot mademoiselle, where would you like to go?" He picked her up and put her in the wheelchair.

She looked up and him and grinned. "Believe it or not, I want to go to the mess tent. I'm starving. I haven't had anything to eat since lunch yesterday. "

He bent down and kissed her forehead. "Alright Hope, your wish is my command."

**Now Hope and Father Mulcahy are home safe and more or less sound. Wonder if the good Father will talk to anyone about his feelings for Hope? Time will tell. Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate your support! Love reviews, too!**


	14. Chapter 14 Musical Beds

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 14- MUSICAL BEDS**

Hawkeye pointed Hope's wheelchair in the direction of the mess tent. "Wait Hawkeye, I've changed my mind. Please take me to the nurse's tent. My need for sleep just overruled my need for breakfast."

"O.K, you got it." When they got to the nurse's tent, he was secretly glad no one else was there. He wanted a chance to be alone with Hope for a few minutes before she fell asleep. Hope sighed, held her head in her hands and said, "Hawkeye, I'm a dope. I can't stay here. I have a top bunk. You could help me get up there, but how the heck would I get down by myself without breaking my neck."

"Yeah, you're right. You can't stay here. Let's put you in Post-Op. There are hardly any patients in there right now. You'll be fine there unless we get a bunch of wounded."

Once they were in Post-Op he picked her up out of the wheelchair and held her a little longer than was necessary. Hope looked up at him. "A girl could get spoiled being carried around like this." She snuggled against his chest and sighed. He laid her on the bed and kissed her gently. "If this is spoiling you, then sign me up. Now go to sleep."

"Hmm…o.k. Hawk…." She was asleep before she could finish saying his name. He was almost out the door of Post-Op when he turned around, grabbed a chair and sat down beside Hope's bed. There were a lot of things he could be doing with his free time, but nothing seemed more important than watching her sleep at the moment.

Unlike Hope, Father Mulcahy chose food before sleep. When he entered the mess tent, he thought he could eat two of everything on the steam table. However, the reality of the way the food looked overtook desire and he opted for coffee and toast. Klinger had walked over to the mess tent with him. "You go sit down Father and I'll bring you your food. What'll you have?"

"Oh just a cup of mud and a shingle." He smiled at Hope's name for a cup of coffee and toast. "I mean a cup of coffee and toast."

"Coming right up." As Klinger walked away, Colonel Potter joined Father Mulcahy at the table. "Padre, I hope you're headed for your bunk after you eat. What you need right now is some shut eye."

"Colonel, you don't have to tell me twice. My bunk is where I'm headed after I eat my gourmet breakfast." Once Klinger came back with the toast and coffee, Mulcahy practically inhaled it. He felt kind of woozy when he stood up to leave. Colonel Potter grabbed his arm. "Let me walk with you to your tent."

Once they were at the chaplain's tent, Colonel Potter turned to leave, Mulcahy stopped him. "Colonel when I've had a few hours sleep under my belt, I need to talk to you."

"Sure, come see me anytime. You know my tent flap is always open."

When the priest lay down on his bed, he thought surely he would instantly fall asleep. But the same thought spun around in his mind like a broken record, "How could I have fallen in love with Hope? It just wasn't supposed to happen. Not to me. Not to a priest." Finally, sleep won over that thought and for a few hours at least, he had peace from the broken record in his head.

Hawkeye spent two hours watching Hope sleep. For someone in a deep sleep, she didn't stay very still. She would alternate between curling up on her side, her hands balled up in fists tucked up under her chin, and laying flat on her stomach with her face down pressed into the pillow. How could she breathe like that? All this movement was punctuated with little sighs. It was endearing, but how could anybody sleep in the same bed with her? He smiled and thought, "I'd sure like to try."

When he heard the sound of choppers, he whispered, "damn!" Hawkeye knew Hope couldn't stay in Post-Op. All the beds would be needed soon. He scooped her up and whispered, "Hope, I'm sorry, but we've got to play musical beds." She opened one green eye and grunted," O.K." and snuggled into his chest. Without a second thought, he took her to the Swamp and laid her on his bed. He hated to leave her there because there was no telling how long it would be before he could get back to her, but that was the best he could do in a hurry. He didn't want to leave her, but he knew he had no choice.

Once Hawkeye was gone, Hope settled into his bed. She tossed and turned, making a "rat's nest" out of the sheets and blanket. She pulled his pillow into her arms and hugged it like a stuffed animal. The twenty-five year old nurse looked like a little girl.

Fortunately, the O.R. session only lasted four hours. BJ and Charles returned to the Swamp before Hawkeye to find his bed occupied by Hope. Charles pointed at Pierce's bed. "How on earth did she get here?" BJ shrugged. "I saw Hawkeye taking her to the nurse's tent after I put the cast on her ankle. How she got here is anyone's guess."

As if on cue, groans and mumbles emanated from Hawkeye's bed. Hope sat up rubbing her face with her hands opening one eye, then the other. When she saw BJ and Charles sitting there watching her, she stammered, "Uh…Where am I? Don't think I'm in Kansas, I mean Post-Op anymore."

BJ chuckled, "Hawkeye must've brought you in here when we got in some wounded. Guess he thought there might not be room for you in Post-Op. He shouldn't have worried, there weren't that many, you could've stayed there."

"Well, I'm stuck here until somebody moves me. I'm not exactly mobile."

Hawkeye stumbled in and started to flop down on his bed until he heard Hope squeak, "Hey! Remember me? The girl you dumped on your bed?" He gingerly sat on the edge of the bed and whispered in her ear, "How could I forget?" His breath tickled her neck and she fought not to squirm in front BJ and Charles.

"Um, Hawkeye? Do you have flood insurance on this bed?" Hope laughed. He shot her a puzzled look.

An urgent need trumped her pride and she said, "Could you carry me to the "little girls' room?"

"Yeah, yeah." He scooped her up and carried her to the latrine. Before she went inside she told him, "While I make this pit stop, could you find me a wheelchair? As much fun as it is for me to be carried by you, your back might protest before too long."

Hawkeye gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Don't go anywhere. Be right back."

When he returned with the wheelchair, he found Hope leaning against the door to the latrine. "Hope how did you manage to get out of there and be standing upright?"

"Hawkeye, have you ever heard of the "scoot and crawl"? It's a new dance move I invented. Think it'll catch on?" She grinned at him as she sat down in the wheelchair. "Back to Post-Op? BJ said that there weren't that many casualties, so there would be room for me there."

"Yep, that's where we headed."

"Good, I hope I can stay there a while. Playing "musical beds" is losing its appeal."

**Well maybe Hope has a place to lay her head without having to move again too soon and Father Mulcahy will have a chance to talk to Colonel Potter. Thank you Dear Readers for joining me on this journey! Please review. **


	15. Chapter 15

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 15- IT'S HOW YOU HANDLE IT**

**Disclaimer: **I should have done this 14 chapters ago, but better late than never. Hawkeye, Klinger, Father Mulcahy and all the other characters from M*A*S*H are sadly not my own. I only own Lt. Hope Jones and my life-long love for the greatest TV show ever!

* * *

Father Mulcahy slept most of the day. When he awoke it was late afternoon. For the longest time he just laid there. He had to decide when he would talk to Colonel Potter. What would he tell him? "Do I say, Colonel I've fallen in love with Lieutenant Jones? " Or should he request a transfer?

He decided to go check on Hope before talking to Colonel Potter. He looked for her in the nurses' tent only to be told by Kellye that she was in Post-Op.

When he arrived there, he found Hope all right. She was in a bed closest to the door. A privacy screen had been set up around the bed. What he saw next caused him to turn around quickly and leave. Hawkeye was lying snuggled against Hopes' back with his arm around her waist. A sudden wave of jealousy swept over Francis Mulcahy. He had never before experienced jealousy so intense. This just added to his inner struggle over his feelings for Hope.

Hope turned over and looked straight into Hawkeye's souful eyes. He was nice to wake up to, but she couldn't begin to fathom why he was lying next to her. He smiled at her and any thought she had about why he was there flew right out of her head. He traced the outline of her face with his fingers. "Hey sleeping beauty! I discovered how to keep you still while you sleep." She giggled and said, "I see."

Hawkeye kissed her gently at first, and then the kiss deepened. It became desperate; as if he stopped kissing her she would disappear. Hope broke away and whispered in his ear, "Its o.k. Hawkeye, I'm not going anywhere."

Father Mulcahy almost ran into Margaret Houlihan when he left Post-Op. "I'm sorry Major, I had something on my mind."

"That's alright Father. Are you o.k.?" she asked him.

"Yes Major, I'm alright." He continued on his way. He sure didn't seem alright, but she let it go.

When she entered Post-Op she saw something that was definitely **not alright **and she could do something about it. She had seen Pierce lying next to Lt. Jones on her bed.

"Pierce what do you think you're doing! How unprofessional can you be? Get up, leave Lt. Jones alone and let her rest."

Hawkeye whispered, "See ya later, Hope." As he walked past the Major he said, "Sorry Mom."

Hope fought the urge to hide her head under her pillow. She knew the Major would be gunning for her next. But Houlihan proved her wrong. Margaret sat beside her bed. "Lieutenant, I don't blame you for him being in your bed. You don't know Pierce very well. He's a skirt chaser. To him you're probably the "flavor of the month"; someone new."

She was right; Hope didn't know Hawkeye very well. All she knew was that he seemed sincere in his affection for her. She decided to find out for herself in spite of what the Major said about him. Hope changed the subject.

"Major, I was wondering how soon I can get back to work? I know working in O.R. is out the question as long as my foot is in this cast. Surely, there are other things I can do to help out. I don't want to be a burden to my fellow nurses."

"O.K. Jones, give yourself another day and we'll talk about it. Now get some rest."

* * *

As Father Mulcahy crossed the compound headed for Colonel Potter's tent he went over in his mind what he would say to him. Several times he started to turn and head back to his own tent. As much as he wanted to put the way he felt about Hope out of his mind, he knew he couldn't avoid it forever. He knocked on the door to the tent.

"Come in," Colonel Potter called out. When the priest walked in he said, "Ah padre, come in and tell me what's on your mind."

Mulcahy pulled up a chair and sat down. "Colonel, I would like to request a transfer."

"What?" Colonel Potter heard what his chaplain said, but couldn't believe it. "Why? This seems like a sudden decision for you. I know you and there's got to be more to it than a sudden desire for a change of scenery."

Father Mulcahy looked down at his hands and back up to Colonel Potter's face. He sighed, "Yes, there is and I might as well tell you. I think I'm in love with Lieutenant Jones. Maybe if I'm not around her anymore these feelings will go away. I shouldn't be in love with her. I'm a priest."

"Look Francis, you're a priest and a very good one. No one is more dedicated to the calling of the priesthood than you. But you're also a man. If it wasn't Lieutenant Jones, it could be another woman, some other time and place. This is something you have to face and deal with. You can't run away from it. You can't control your emotions; it's how you handle them."

"So you're telling me you won't o.k. a transfer for me?"

"Not right now. Give yourself some time to work through things, talk to the head chaplain at I-Corps and it you feel the same way after a month or two, I'll o.k. your transfer."

Father Mulcahy stood up to leave, "Alright Colonel, thanks."

* * *

Hope tried to go back to sleep after Hawkeye left, but she couldn't do it. Even when he wasn't there, he was there. Major Houlihan was right, she didn't really know him, but Hope intended to remedy that situation and right away. She sat up and pulled herself into the wheel chair , trying to decide where he might be.

Once outside of Post-Op, she saw Klinger and called him over. "Hi Klinger, have you seen Hawkeye?"

"Yes, he's in the Officer's Club. I'll take you over there."

"Thanks Max, you're a sweetheart." She grinned at him.

When he wheeled her into the O Club, only Hawkeye was there. He was sitting at a table in the far corner. "Hey Hope, thought you'd still be asleep."

She winked at him and said, "It's just not the same without you Hawkeye."

**Now Father Mulcahy has had his talk with Colonel Potter. How will he deal with his feelings for Hope? And Hope's made up her mind to find out more about Hawkeye! Thanks so much for reading this chapter! Please review.**


	16. Chapter 16

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 16- GUILT AND PERSISTANCE **

When Father Mulcahy returned to his tent after talking to Colonel Potter, he decided to write a letter to his sister. She was the one person he could always confide in no matter what the problem.

_Dear Sis,_

_It's been a while since I've written to you. You know what they say; "Life is what happens to you while you made other plans." Something very unexpected has happened. I need to tell someone I can trust and you are always first on that list._

_A new nurse, Lt. Hope Jones, joined the unit recently. We immediately struck up a friendship. I think you'd like her. She's a minister's daughter and I guess that gives us sort of a bond. Hope is gentle, compassionate, has an interesting sense of humor. She loves to sing but she's shy about it and won't sing unless other people join in with her._

_Yesterday Hope went with me to take supplies to St. Teresa's orphanage. We spent the day there with the children. We had lunch and played with the children all afternoon. She had as much fun as the children. It was a joy to watch her with the little ones. As I watched her play with them, I began to wonder what my life would be like it I had married and had a family. When a little one came and sat in her lap, I wondered what it would be like to have Hope as my wife. Something hit my heart with a wallop. It was the thought "I am falling in love with her." _

_Now I wonder if I'm really called to be a priest. Why would I fall in love with a woman now? I've always hope I'd never have to deal with these kinds of feelings._

_Thinking it would be good for me to be working in another place away from Hope, I asked Colonel Potter for a transfer, but he told me to wait and sort out my feelings for her. Maybe he's right, he told me it's not the emotions you feel, its how you handle them._

_The only thing I can think to do right now is to avoid being around Hope as much as possible. I don't know what else to do._

_Please write soon and keep me in your prayers as I keep you in mine._

_With Love,_

_Francis_

* * *

Hawkeye scooted closer to Hope's wheelchair. "So you can't sleep without me? "

She put her head on his shoulder. "Oh Hawkeye, I wish I could say that's the only reason I can't sleep. Got a lot on my mind right now. My ankle's hurting like hell and I've got a big case of galloping guilt about the accident."

"What do you mean you feel guilty about the accident?" He kissed her cheek.

"Right before we left the orphanage, he got very quiet and wouldn't talk to me. I was the one driving the jeep when the accident happened. I missed seeing a huge pothole in the road because I was asking him what was wrong. I just had to know why he was upset with me. Couldn't keep my big mouth shut! When I want to know something, I don't give up." She held back the sob that was about to escape from her mouth when BJ and Charles walked in the O Club.

As the two of them approached the table, BJ asked, "Mind if we join you?"

Hawkeye lied, "No, of course not."

Once seated, BJ asked Hope, "How are you feeling?"

Before she answered him she thought, "I've just been in an accident and broke my ankle. I have one man who won't talk to me for some unknown reason and another one who seems to be nuts about me and can't explain why. So other than being hurt and confused, yep I'm just fine and dandy!" But she only laughed and said, "I'm o.k., just very tired and my ankle throbs a beat that would put Gene Krupa's drum skills to shame! Now a question for you Dr. Hunnicutt. When can I go back to work?"

He laughed. "Whoa Hope, aren't you in a bit of a hurry? Don't you think you ought to take it easy for a few days?"

"Yea, you're right. But I'll go nuts if I have to lie around for very long. Really need to stay busy. If Major Houlihan says there are things I could do to help outside of O.R., can I got back to work tomorrow?"

"Hope you're a persistent lady. O.K., if Margaret can find you some "non- hazardous" work to do, it's alright by me."

"Thanks BJ." Hope reached over and hugged him. He rewarded her hug with a big, cheesy grin.

Charles drummed his fingers on the table and sighed, "If the "love fest" is now over, can we do what we came here for and get a drink?"

Hope rubbed her hand through her hair and propped her chin on her hand. "Yes Major, the "love fest" is over. Let's drink. I would love a scotch and soda." She really wanted a drink, several of them actually; anything that would push the guilt and confusion out of her mind.

BJ looked at her and shook his head. "No scotch for you today."

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Thought you'd say that."

* * *

Klinger hurried to finish some filing he needed to do. He had a "get well" present for Hope and he couldn't wait to give it to her. As soon as the last piece of paper was filed he went to his tent, got the present and made a bee line for the O Club, hoping she was still there.

Hope saw Klinger before he saw her. She excused herself from the table and wheeled over to where he was standing. "Hi Max, do want to join the Three Musketeers and me?"

"No, I just wanted to bring you something." He held out the bundle he had been carrying. Hope took it from him and opened it up. She held up and admired a pair of pink silk pajamas and a matching bed jacket.

"Oh, they're lovely! I don't know what to say except "thank you"!" Hope reached up and hugged him. "More than anything, Max thanks for being my friend. It means the world to me. You're the one person here that I can truly be myself with. I feel like I know where I stand with you."

Hawkeye was watching this scene between Hope and Klinger."Hey Beej, what's Klinger got that I haven't?"

BJ chuckled and told his friend, "Right now a pair of silk pajamas."

**Dear Reader, some of you must be wondering who in the world is Gene Krupa. He was a drummer with several Big Bands of the 1940's; most notably he played with Benny Goodman's band. You can hear him playing on one of Goodmans' most famous recordings, **_**Sing, Sing, Sing. **_**Thanks again for your support. Please review, because I appreciate your feedback so much! **


	17. Chapter 17 How Can You Be Sure?

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 17- HOW CAN YOU BE SURE?**

When Klinger left the O Club, Hope went back to join the "Three Musketeers" table. Hawkeye pointed at the pajamas she held in her lap. "Model them for me?" he whispered in her ear.

"You wish!" she whispered back and laughed. "Now how about a drink? If BJ says no alcohol, how about a ginger ale or a Co-Cola?"

"A what?" Hawkeye looked puzzled.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Let me translate; a Coca-Cola. For a second there, I must have forgotten I'm not in Georgia anymore."

"Yea Hope, I know what you mean. We all wish we were back home."

She put her head on his shoulder and sighed. "Ain't that the truth?"

Hawkeye kissed her nose. "Be right back."

He returned with what looked like a Coca-Cola bottle, but it was covered with so much dust that Hope couldn't be sure. Hawkeye wiped the dust off the bottle with his sleeve and handed it to her. "Looks like it might have been bottled during FDR's first term in office."

She took a drink and winced. "Well, if not his first term, it was definitely during his second term. It's about half way flat; a lot of syrupy goodness and very little fizz."

Hope didn't say much after that. She sat and listened to the three men talk about nothing and everything for a while and then tuned them out. Her mind went back to the afternoon at the orphanage trying to think of anything she could have said or done to make Francis upset with her. Hope tried to go through everything she could remember, but came up empty.

"Hello, Earth to Hope Jones." BJ gently shook her shoulder. "Where you been? You looked like you were a million miles away."

She shook herself out of her daydream. "Huh? Oh, my mind just wandered. I'm sorry. Maybe it's time for me to go back to bed."

"Yep, I think so. Doctor's orders. Go to bed." Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars." He laughed.

She grinned back at him. "O.K. Hawkeye? Will you take me to bed?" The millisecond after that came out of her mouth she turned beet red. "Oh God, that's not what I meant!"

Hawkeye whispered in her ear. "As I heard someone else say earlier, "You wish!"

She tugged on his sleeve. "Alright, I am thoroughly mortified. Can we go now?"

As he wheeled her out of the O club, he happened to look behind at BJ and Charles. They were trying to hide the big smiles on their faces. He grinned back at them.

Once they were back in Post-Op, Hope went behind the privacy screen to change her from the hospital gown she was wearing into the pajamas Klinger had given her. She looked out the corner of her eye right before she pulled off the gown. "Hawkeye Pierce, you turn around! I see you peeking."

He sighed, "You can't blame a guy for trying."

"Evidently not," she laughed and threw the gown over the screen. It landed on Hawkeye's head. "And that's what you get for peeking!"

She called him behind the screen. "O.K., you can come back here now." Hawkeye sat down beside her on the bed. He grinned and pulled on the sides of the pajama top. "It's a little big, but it looks nice anyway. A vast improvement over that gown." He inched closer to her and kissed her neck. When Hope turned her face to him, she kissed him on the lips softly. Hawkeye wrapped his arms around her and her timid kiss deepened. A wave of fear suddenly washed over Hope and she pulled away. She would have been lost if she hadn't pulled away from him right then. In another minute it wouldn't have mattered to her where she was. He could have consumed her completely and she would have gladly let him. "Oh God, Hawkeye you gotta go and I mean now. I sure don't want you to, but this isn't the time or place. I may joke and flirt, but when it gets serious I don't mess around. I'm not ready for that yet."

"O.K., Hope if that's what you want. You know I really care for you, don't you?" He stood up to leave.

She ran her hands through her hair. "Yes Hawkeye, I do and I care for you and that's what scares me. Good night. See you tomorrow?"

He reached down and stroked her face and said, "You can count on it."

After Hawkeye left somehow Hope managed to fall asleep. It was not very restful sleep. She kept waking up every hour with Hawkeye or Francis on her mind. One man she was falling for, the other one she thought was her friend wouldn't talk to her. Finally she gave up on sleep and just lay there staring at the ceiling.

There was a faint sob from a patient across the room. Hope managed to get herself into the wheelchair and move across the room to where he was.

He was probably no more than 18. "He should be in the balcony at the movies making out with his girlfriend, not here a world away in a hospital bed," she thought.

"Hey good looking, what's a cute guy like you doing in a place like this? Do you need something? I may not look like it, but I'm a nurse here. I just happen to be a patient right now." She held up her leg to show him the cast on her ankle. "By the way, my name's Hope. What's yours?"

"I'm Jimmy, Jimmy McNair. Nice to meet you Hope."

"Jimmy, are you hurting? Do you want me to call the nurse or doctor on duty?"

"No, I don't really need them. I just had a bad dream and I guess it scared me. I'm sorry if I bothered you."

"You didn't bother me a bit. I can't sleep anyway. Do you want to talk or should I just sit here with you until you fall asleep?"

He smiled at her. "Could we just talk for a little bit?"

"Sure, what would you like to talk about? Your hometown? A girlfriend? Your favorite kind of music?"

"I want to talk about my girlfriend. Her name's MaryAnn. We've known each other since the first grade. I guess I loved her from the minute I first saw her sitting in the desk next to mine on the first day of school. She became my best friend. All the other boys used to tease me because my best friend was a girl. I didn't care. MaryAnn was a tomboy then and she didn't let being a girl stop her from doing almost anything. I guess it might be because she had five brothers. She would go fishing; play baseball, climbed trees with me. It wasn't until we were about 12 that she realized she was a girl and stopped doing the tomboy things. I didn't like it, but she was still my friend. She just didn't think she should do "boy" things anymore. It took me a year or so after that to realize that I was glad she was a girl."

"She sounds like a very special girl. You're really lucky that your girlfriend is also your best friend."

He smiled and said, "Yep, I'm a pretty lucky guy. What about you Hope, do you have a boyfriend?"

A young man who she had met five minutes ago asked her the question that had been on her mind. She laughed, "That's a good question. I'm not sure yet."

"What do you mean, you're not sure yet? Either you do or you don't."

She was only a few years older than him, but she felt light years away when it came to being sure if she had a boyfriend.

"Jimmy, you said you had a bad dream. Was it about MaryAnn?""

"Yes, I dreamed I came back home and she had married somebody else. What if it comes true? I don't want to lose her. She means everything to me."

"Look, Jimmy. As you get older, you start to learn there are no guarantees in life. But you have to have a little faith that she'll be there waiting for you when you get home. Faith is the one thing that keeps you going no matter what."

"I suppose you're right Hope." His eyelids were drooping and he yawned. "Guess I'll go back to sleep now. Thanks for talking with me."

She reached over and brushed his hair off his forhead and said, "Sure, anytime. And this is my prescription for you; have a little faith and write your girl as many letters as you can. Never let her forget for a minute that you love her."

She made her way back to her bed and crawled in it. Hope wished she could be as sure about her feelings for Hawkeye as Jimmy felt about his MaryAnn.

**I know this chapter was Hawkeye-Hope centric. I promise more Father Mulcahy next time. Thanks for reading.**


	18. Chapter 18

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 18- LEAVE HIM ALONE**

The rest of the night passed slowly for Hope. There was no way she could go back to sleep. Why was everything was amplified at night; Pain, fear, longing, loneliness. Just a small glimpse of daylight seemed to hold the promise that things would be better.

Across the compound, Father Mulcahy was thinking the same thing. He got out of bed, opened the door to his tent and stood there waiting for dawn to come. The headache and his feelings for Hope were his constant companions. He could take aspirin for the headache, but there was nothing he could take to make the feelings go away. He had tried to pray, but the words wouldn't come. If this was a small sample of what despair felt like, it was more than enough for him.

He saw the lights come on in the mess tent and headed over to it. The crew was just setting up things and coffee had not even been made yet. Igor saw him come in. "Hey Father, what brings you out so early? It's not even daylight yet."

"I couldn't sleep so I decided to go ahead and get up."

"Coffee will be ready in a little bit."

"Thanks Private Straminsky." The priest sat down at table nearest the door to the mess tent. A few minutes later, Hope wheeled in and sat across from him.

"Hi Francis, couldn't sleep either?"

"No Lieutenant, I couldn't." When he answered her he looked at his hands and not her face.

The way he responded to her question stung Hope. He didn't look at her or call her by her first name. Something had definitely marred their friendship. Both of them sat in an awkward silence until the coffee was ready.

She pulled her wheelchair away from the table. "Do you want me to bring you a cup of coffee?"

He stood up. "No, let me do it. It would be hard for you to manage the coffee and your wheelchair."

"O.K., thanks," she told him and pulled herself back to the table.

When he returned with the coffee, she thanked him and asked, "How's your headache? I sure hope you're feeling better."

"Yes, it's better thank you," he answered her in an impersonal way; like she was someone he just met.

"Good. I'm glad to hear it."

"Next, we'll be talking about the weather like strangers do, "she thought. Hope couldn't wait until someone else came to the mess tent. Francis Mulcahy was sitting at the table with her, but she was still alone. She was relieved when Max walked in.

"Good morning Max!" she greeted him a little over eagerly.

"Hi Hope, feeling better this morning?"

"Yep, I am. And I want to thank you again for these gorgeous p.j.'s and the bed jacket."

"You're welcome. They sure look a lot better on you than they ever did on me. Looks like breakfast is ready. Do you want me to bring you anything?"

"Would you wheel me up to the chow line?" she asked him.

"Sure, but wouldn't you rather have me bring the food to you?"

"No, I want to personally inspect what passes for food this morning," she told him. Hope turned to Mulcahy. "Excuse me Father."

He just nodded, not saying anything.

Once they were out of Mulcahy's hearing range, Max asked her, "What gives with you calling him "Father"? Things seem tense between you two. I thought you guys were on a first name basis."

She sighed and rubbed her face with her hand. "We were Max; but something's happened between me and Francis. I can tell he's uncomfortable around me and he called me Lieutenant instead of Hope when I came in the mess tent this morning. It sure beats me. I don't know what's wrong and he doesn't seem inclined to talk to me about it."

Max put his hand on her shoulder. "I wouldn't worry about it Hope. He'll come around. You'll see. I can't imagine you doing anything to make him upset."

She looked up at him. "I sure hope so Max. I wouldn't hurt him for the world, he's my friend. Now let's see what gourmet delights await us."

As they walked in the mess tent, Hawkeye and BJ passed Father Mulcahy going out. He nodded at them, but didn't say anything.

"Wonder what's with him?" Hawkeye asked BJ.

"Maybe he's not feeling so hot. He does have a concussion, Hawkeye."

Hawkeye shrugged, "Yeah, I know. He just doesn't seem like his usual sunny self."

They joined Klinger and Hope in line. Hope didn't see Hawkeye switch places with Klinger behind her wheelchair. He reached down and kissed her neck.

Hope jumped and hollered at the same time. "Max what in "Holy Hades" are you doing!" She turned around to see Hawkeye, BJ and Max laughing.

She shook her finger at Hawkeye and tried not to laugh. "Alright Hawkeye Pierce, you are going to get me a pair of crutches after breakfast! No more sneak attacks from you. I wanna stand and face you like, like a …girl."

Hawkeye couldn't help but grin at her. "O.K., O.K., right after breakfast." He pushed her wheelchair to the table where Colonel Potter and Major Winchester were sitting. They had heard and seen the commotion made by Hawkeye and Hope and were struggling to keep straight faces.

Hope chuckled and made a small bow from the waist, which wasn't easy to do sitting in a wheelchair. "Well gentlemen, have you enjoyed this morning's entertainment? The reviews will be in the next edition of _Stars and Stripes!" _Then she happened to look down at her bowl of oatmeal. "Looks like the "entertainment" is the best thing on the menu this morning. It may not fill you up, but it won't make you sick like this." She pointed at the bowl, and then pushed it away. "This resembles the stuff my dad used to patch our driveway at home."

Hope reached over and grabbed a piece of what passed for toast off Hawkeye's tray. He tried to grab it back and she swatted at his hand. "And this looks like the shingles he used to fix the roof after a big windstorm blew through town." She took a bite of it. "Yep, this is definitely has the consistency of a shingle."

"Well I see your sense of humor is intact, Lieutenant. How's the ankle?" Colonel Potter asked Hope.

"Still hurts sir, but it's down to a dull throb," she answered.

"Good, glad to hear you're feeling better. I haven't seen Father Mulcahy this morning. It's unusual for him to miss breakfast."

"He was leaving as we came in," Hawkeye told him. "He looked as if he was still feeling bad. He didn't say anything to us."

"Well, some folks experience fatigue and aren't quite themselves for a week or so after they have a concussion," Colonel Potter commented.

"Yes, that's probably it, "Hope added. "But other folks aren't upset with their friend. There's more going on than just a concussion," she thought.

"Let's just leave him be for a few days," Potter gently ordered.

When breakfast was over, Hawkeye took Hope to supply to find her a pair of crutches. "This is a first."

"What do you mean, Hawkeye? First what?"

"Oh, the first time I've ever taken a woman to supplies for supplies." He flashed a smile at Hope.

"I don't know if I should be honored or insulted," Hope laughed. "O.K., let's get those crutches."

The doctor rummaged around for a few minutes until he found a pair of crutches. He propped them up against a shelf and helped Hope stand up, holding on to his left arm. With his right arm he reached behind her and got the crutches.

"Put your arms around my neck."

"Look Hawkeye, this isn't the time or place for this," she told him. But oh, she sure wanted to stand there and kiss him for an hour or so.

"Put your arms around my neck Hope and I'll put one crutch on either side of you. Then put your arms down and see if they're going to need some adjustment."

"Oh," she sighed.

It took a few minutes to get the crutches to fit under Hope's arms. Hawkeye told her to give them a try. He moved away from her to the other end of the room. "Come on Hope. Come to papa."

The first part of her trip across the room went fine. Then she lost her balance. Hawkeye reached out and grabbed her before she fell. Hope's face hit his chest with a smack and she knocked the breath out of him. There was a muffled "Ow" and "sorry Hawkeye". She moved her head away and looked up at him.

He took in a deep breath, then said, "Wow, you're breathtaking, just not in the usual way." Not able to resist her lips being so closed to his, he gave her a quick kiss. "You need to practice more."

"Practice kissing? What do you have in mind?" she teased. Then she thought, "Oh God, I've got to quit teasing him. I'm the one who doesn't want to get serious, or do I?"

"No, I mean using these crutches," he told her and gently pushed her away from him until she was standing on her own.

**Now Hope has one thing she wants- the crutches. The other thing she wants, knowing what she did to upset Father Mulcahy, is not going to happen anytime soon. To add to the mix, one minute she wants to take it slow with Hawkeye, the next minute she would gladly throw caution to the wind! **

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**

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	19. Chapter 19 Talking and Dreaming

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 19- TALKING AND DREAMING**

Hope turned around and hobbled away from Hawkeye. "Thanks for the crutches. I'm heading for the nurse's tent to pick up a few things. See you later," she called back as she maneuvered her way out the door leaving Hawkeye standing there wondering if he said something to upset her. He started to follow her, but decided he'd better leave her alone.

"God, I don't know who's more confused; me or Hope," he thought.

When Hope entered the nurses' tent, she was thankful to find Kellye there. "Hi Hope! I see you've graduated to crutches."

"Yeah, I hope they'll help me get around better so I can get back to work. I feel like I'm leaving you guys shorthanded."

"Well it's not like you planned to get hurt," Kellye told her.

"That's true," Hope responded. "But I still feel bad about it." She changed the subject. "I could use a hand with this foot locker. If I try to bend over to open, I'd probably fall on my face. Just want to get a few things out of it."

Kellye helped her get the things she wanted, a fresh uniform and some stationary. Hope changed into the uniform. "Thanks so much for your help. I think I'll stay here and write a letter to my folks."

_Dear Mama and Daddy,_

_Since the last letter, I've had an adventure that worked my guardian angels overtime!_

_Father Mulcahy and I went to St. Teresa's orphanage near here to bring them supplies. Everything went well until we were on the return trip. The jeep hit a pothole about the size of a crater on the moon and tipped over, throwing us out. His head got banged up and my ankle was broken. We spent the night waiting for somebody to come along and find us. It was a really __**long **__night. We stayed awake; I wanted to make sure he was o.k. because I was pretty sure he had a concussion. So we passed the time talking and singing. _

_I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life as I was to see Captain Pierce and Corporal Klinger show up when they did. They didn't even wait for daylight to come looking for us. It was crazy on their part, but I'm so thankful they did._

_Daddy, Father Mulcahy talked about what it means to have faith. He told me the same thing that I've heard from you. "Faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding on to." It was hard for me to have faith that anyone would find us that night, but they did. _

_Now, I guess I have another challenge to my faith. This time I've got to trust that my friendship with Father Mulcahy hasn't been destroyed by something I did. _

_Shortly before we left the orphanage, I must have done or said something to upset him. He got very quiet and didn't seem willing to talk to me. You know how persistent I can be. I kept badgering him to tell me what was wrong and was not paying attention to the road. Yes, I was the one driving the jeep. I can't deny the accident was my fault._

_Now he hardly speaks to me and I think he would completely avoid me if he could. If he would just tell me what's wrong, I could make amends. He's such a kind and gentle hearted person that it hurts to see him suffer._

_I sure wish I could talk to you face to face. A letter's not the same, but it's all we've got._

_Please give Faith and Charity my love. Tell Tommy I said not to get into any trouble without me! By the way, did he get accepted to veterinary college? _

_As always, all of you are in my thoughts and prayers_

_All my love,_

_Hope_

_P.S. Please, please send my Frank Sinatra and Benny Goodman records. One of the surgeons here (Major Winchester) has a record player. I'm hoping he'll kind enough to let me borrow it._

She put the letter in an envelope and addressed it. "I'm going over and give this to Klinger to put in the mail. Kellye, thanks again for your help with the footlocker."

"You're welcome. See you later Hope."

Hope left the nurses' tent and headed toward Klinger's office to give him the letter for the mail. She felt like she was doing pretty well with the crutches until she failed to notice a small hole in ground and started to fall. Before she hit the ground, someone grabbed her from behind. She turned to see it was Father Mulcahy. Their faces were only a couple of inches apart.

"Uh, thanks for catching me. I guess I was concentrating on not falling that I didn't see that hole." Hope told him.

"You're welcome Lieutenant. Are you O.K.?"

"Yes, thank you! If you hadn't caught me, I'd hit the ground face first. How about you? Are you feeling any better?" Why did she ask him that question? It was obvious he wasn't o.k.

He touched his forehead. "Other than this headache that won't seem to go away, I'm fine. Now if you'll excuse me."

"Oh sure, see you later," she stammered while she watched him walk away.

* * *

When Hope entered Klinger's office, she saw numerous piles of papers. Some were on his desk, on his bed and on the floor. It looked like an explosion in a paper factory. In the middle of all this stood a frustrated Max Klinger.

"Good Lord Max! I've got two questions for you; what happened and can I help?"

He looked around his office forlornly and said, "The answer to question one is- procrastination run amok. As to question two- oh yes, you can help."

He pulled out his desk chair and motioned for Hope to sit down. "You sure you don't mind doing this Hope?"

"Not a bit. I've been my dad's unpaid church secretary for years. If I can figure out his crazy filing system, I can help you." She laughed.

In about an hour Hope and Klinger had tackled the paper explosion. After he had put the last file away, he glanced at the clock. It was noon. "You feeling brave Hope?'

"Oh, you mean lunch? Yea, misery loves company! First one to the mess tent has to eat all their lunch!"she told him.

Max laughed, "I think I'll let you win that race!"

Father Mulcahy had already gotten his lunch was sitting alone at a table when Hope and Max walked in the mess tent. He wished with all his might that he would be left alone. He didn't want to have to socialize with anyone, especially Hope.

When they got in line, Max told her, "Hope, you gotta take one of everything to eat. You won the race to get here."

She groaned playfully. "No fair Max! You let me win. O.K. Igor, give me one of everything. Just a little bit of everything, though."

Before they could get to a table, the PA came on. "Sorry to interrupt lunch folks but the war is back in town." Hope and Max left their trays on the table. Max took off running to help with the wounded. Hope stood outside the mess tent and watched, wishing she could be in the thick of things doing what she was trained to do.

From the number of wounded brought in it looked like Post-Op would be full that night. Hope knew she would have to find another place to sleep, but that was the least of anyone's worries at the moment.

She had no idea how long she'd been standing there watching the triage. When someone came and touched her shoulder, she jumped and almost fell over. Father Mulcahy reached out to steady her. "Lieutenant, could you help me with something?"

Hope saw the serious expression on his face. "Yes, I'll be glad to Fran…uh, Father. What is it?"

"There's a very young soldier who's not wounded badly, so he will have to wait for a while before the surgeons can get to him. He's very frightened and no one else can take the time to stop and talk to him. Would you do it?"

"Oh yes, lead the way," Hope told him.

They skirted around the activity and made it to where the young man lay. He was a tall, skinny kid with a shock of red hair and face full of freckles.

Father Mulcahy told beside him, "This is Lieutenant Jones. She'll be keeping you company until the doctors can get to you."

"Thanks Father." The priest patted the soldier's arm and left to go help another patient.

Hope was glad that the soldier's stretcher was sitting atop the back of a jeep. She wouldn't have to worry about bending over with the crutches and falling on him. She smiled at him and said, "Hi Red. I wasn't doing anything, so I thought I find a cute guy to talk to. Looks like I hit the jackpot! By the way, I'm Hope. What's your name?"

He flashed her a crooked smile. "My name's Sam. Sam Winters."

"Well hey there Sam Winters. Where are you from? You sound like a Southern boy to me."

"I'm from Mobile, Alabama. Born and raised there," he told her.

"I've always wanted to go there. I hear Bellingrath Gardens is really beautiful. And of course, I would have to fill up on some shrimp while I was there!"

He smiled. She said, "I know what you're thinking about; shrimp and grits. Am I right?"

"Oh yes ma'am! I sure would love to have some."

Hope started humming and brushed the hair out of his eyes.

"Sounds like one of my favorite songs. Do you know the words, Hope?"

"Yep, sure do!" She started singing softly.

_There's a saying old, says that love is blind  
Still we're often told, "seek and ye shall find"  
So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind_

_Looking everywhere, haven't found him yet_  
_He's the big affair I cannot forget_  
_Only man I ever think of with regret_

_I'd like to add his initial to my monogram_  
_Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?_

_There's a somebody I'm longin' to see_  
_I hope that he, turns out to be_  
_Someone who'll watch over me_

_I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood_  
_I know I could, always be good_  
_To one who'll watch over me_

_Although he may not be the man some_

_Girls think of as handsome  
To my heart he carries the key_

_Won't you tell him please to put on some speed_  
_Follow my lead, oh, how I need_  
_Someone to watch over me_

"Any more requests, Sam?"

"Yeah, I need someone to watch over me. Wanna apply for the job?"

Hope laughed. "Don't tempt me!"

They continued talking for half an hour or so before Sam was taken to Pre-Op. As the corpsmen took him away Hope called out, "See you on the flip side in Post-Op, Sam."

He called back to her, "I'm counting on it!"

A corpsman called out to her, "Lieutenant, could you come over and talk to this guy?" She saw another young man lying on a stretcher. This time however, he was on the ground. She took the crutches from under her arms and used them as a brace as she carefully kneeled beside the stretcher.

"Hello soldier, come here often or is this your first time?" Hope asked him.

He gave a weak grin and whispered, "It's my first time."

"I sure hope your first time is your last time. I can think of lots of other places to be," she told him. "By the way, my name is Hope."

"Hi Hope, I'm Ricky. Do you know how long will it be before I go into surgery?" he asked her.

"I'm not really sure, but they always save the best for last." She teased him.

Hope spent another hour talking to Ricky and three other soldiers waiting to go into OR. When the last one was finally taken for surgery, she was glad to be able to finally stand up. It took her a minute or so to get up from kneeling on the ground.

She whispered a little prayer for all the wounded that come in that day and added a "thank you" that she had been able to do something to help.

Hope headed over to the mess tent, thankful to finally be able to sit down. Her injured ankle was throbbing and her good leg was starting to cramp from kneeling for so long. She put her head down on the table and fell asleep almost instantly.

At first she didn't realize she was dreaming. It seemed so real. It was a beautiful summer day. The little white frame church was packed with people.

"Are you ready Hope?"

She looked up into the face of her cousin Tommy. He was escorting the bride, since the bride's father was waiting at the altar to perform the ceremony.

"Yep, let's get this show on the road!"

As they slowly proceeded down the aisle of the church, Hope looked at the faces of people in the congregation. She knew just about everyone there. Most of the folks were people from town but she noticed that there were some from the 4077th; Colonel Potter, BJ, Major Houlihan, Charles, Kellye and Max, but no Hawkeye.

Oddly, the groom was not watching her come down the aisle. When they got to the altar, Tommy lifted her veiled and she looked into the face of her groom. It was the face of Francis Mulcahy.

**Hope now has something she is able to do to help out with wounded soldiers when they are brought to the 4077th. Wonder what her dream means? Thank you for reading this chapter. Please review!**


	20. Chapter 20

**HOPE'S CALLING-CHAPTER 20- GREEN EYES, MOONLIGHT AND MAGNOLIAS**

A hand touched her shoulder. She opened her eyes to see Father Mulcahy standing over her. For a brief moment Hope thought she was still dreaming until she saw his clerical collar.

"Lieutenant," he whispered softly.

"Hmm..?" Hope mumbled and lifted her head. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes with the back of her hand. "I never knew talking could be so tiring. It also might have something to do with standing, then kneeling on one leg for a long time."

He placed a cup of coffee in front of her. "Thanks Father." The coffee was its usual consistency; like mud. She took a sip and winced. "I think."

She looked at him and said, "I want to tell you how much it means to me to be able to help with the patients, even in a small way. Thank you. "

He smiled at her. "I thought you would want to be doing something to help and you're good at putting people at ease."

Hope stood up and promptly sat back down. "My brain says "get up", but my body doesn't want to cooperate. Could you help me? I promised one of the soldiers I talked to that I would come and see him in Post-Op." She stood up again with the priest standing behind her holding her by the elbows to steady her. His hands lingered there for a few seconds after she had reached for her crutches.

"Thanks Fran…Father, I've got it now." She moved away from him and exited the mess tent. He watched her walk away until she was out of his line of sight.

* * *

Hope entered Post-Op and had no trouble finding Sam and his red hair. She went and sat down in the chair beside his bed. "Hey Sam. Told you I'd see you on the flip side. How are they treating you here?"

He smiled at her. "Oh, real good. But I'm glad you came to see me."

She leaned forward and looked into his sleepy eyes and said, "Wild horses couldn't keep me away from you! Do you want me to stay with you a while?"

"No, you don't have to. I just wanted to see those green eyes of yours again so I'd have something to dream about. Thanks for coming by." He closed his eyes.

"You're welcome Sam." She patted his hand and stood up. When she turned to leave his bedside, there stood Hawkeye grinning at her.

"I'd like to see those green eyes of yours, too. How about taking them and the rest of you to the Swamp with me?" he asked her.

"Alright, lead the way." She pointed at the doors that led out of Post-Op with one of her crutches.

When they got to the Swamp, Hope sat down on Hawkeye's bed but hopped up and moved to the chair that was next to it. "Definitely don't need to be sitting on his bed," she thought.

He poured two drinks and handed her one. Then he sat down on the bed as close to her as he could. "You know Hope, I'm a little jealous of all those patients."

She took a sip of her drink and said to him, "You're kidding me. Why in the world would you be jealous of those poor guys?"

"They get you're undivided attention, even if only for a few minutes."

"Hawkeye, they're wounded, frightened and in pain. I just do what I can to help make things a little more bearable for them. It's no big deal. Tell me, are you really jealous or are you just teasing me about this?"

He grinned at her and then became serious. "Yes and no." He reached over and kissed her cheek.

Hope let out a long sigh and simply said, "Oh." She had no idea what she should say to him. She had lots of thoughts running rampant through her mind, like "You have nothing to be jealous about, let me prove it." And she could have, if she was willing to switch off the voice of sweet reason that whispered to her to take it slow.

Several long, awkward, and silent minutes passed. Major Winchester entered the Swamp.

"Hello Lieutenant Jones, cat got your tongue? Or are you just worn out from all the talking you've done with patients today?"

She shrugged."Yes that must be it."

"I must say Lieutenant; you've made quite an impression on some of them. Several of them have asked for the nurse with the Southern accent that talked to them before they went into surgery. You are depriving poor Pierce of that accent that brings to mind "moonlight and magnolias".

"The throat that produces that "moonlight and magnolias" accent as you call it is tired," she sighed.

If wishing would make it so, Hawkeye wished Charles was standing in the middle of Boston Common, not the Swamp. He wanted a little time alone with Hope. And yes he wanted a little attention from her and he certainly wouldn't get with Winchester there.

Then it got a little more crowded. BJ walked in the Swamp. "Hello Hope. Several of the patients in Post-Op tell me a certain green eyed, Southern girl made things easier for them while they waited their turn for surgery. I hope you're going to make it a regular practice, because it sure calmed them down and made it easier for them to wait so long." He poured himself a drink and sat down on his bed.

Hope noticed that neither Hawkeye nor BJ had offered Charles a drink. Since the Swamp wasn't her quarters, she didn't feel it was her place to say anything about it. It bothered her just the same. She could tell that the relationship between Hawkeye and BJ was much warmer and close than the one either one of them had with Charles. She guessed her concern over a simple social gesture was due to the way she was raised. Maybe it had something to do with Southern hospitality. You extended it to everyone, not just the people you liked a lot.

She felt a little better when she saw Charles open his footlocker and take out a bottle of something. Hope squinted and could make out the word "cognac" on it. Maybe that's the reason Hawkeye and BJ didn't offer him a drink. But still, in the world she was raised you offered a drink or food to someone even if you knew they would turn you down. It served to remind her that she was a long, long way from home.

Hawkeye reached over and put his hand over hers, not saying anything. She looked at him and smiled trying to let him know, "I know this is not what you planned, but I'm still here with you." Hope wrapped her hand around his and squeezed it gently. With her other hand she drained the drink she had been holding. She turned down a second drink when BJ offered it to her.

Hope definitely had her reasons for not having another drink. She could feel a delicious buzz in her head. It warmed her right down to her toes. Relaxed and comfortable she began to feel drowsy. In five minutes she was sound asleep.

Hawkeye looked over at her and smiled. He motioned for BJ to help him get Hope over to the spare bed in the opposite corner of the tent. Once he had her tucked in, he reached down and kissed her cheek. "Good night green eyes. Save a dream for me."

Charles chuckled. "Methinks that one Hawkeye Pierce is smitten with our Georgia peach."

Hawkeye grinned and said, "You're right, I am."

* * *

About 2 am a boot became a projectile thrown at Hawkeye's bed. It was followed by "Pierce, do something to quiet the Lieutenant. She not only groans in her sleep, she tosses and turns so loudly they can hear her in Seoul!"

BJ added a sleepy "two cents worth". "Yes, Hawkeye do something to quiet her down. She's a sweet, lovely girl, but she sleeps like a bull elephant."

The only thing Hawkeye could think to do was what he had done before. He lay down next to her, pulled her close to him and put his arm over her waist. She snuggled against him and became very still.

He had a feeling she wouldn't be happy about in the morning or would she?

The same thought occurred to him that he had the day before. "Oh God, I don't know who's more confused, me or Hope." His last thought before he fell asleep was, "I wonder how she is going to react to waking up in my arms again."

**It seems that there is a small chink in the wall that Father Mulcahy has tried to build between him and Hope. We also know now that Hope can't drink a lot. One drink puts her out like a light! Thanks for reading this chapter! Please review! More to come soon.**

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	21. Chapter 21 Feeling Like a Fool

**HOPE'S CALLING-CHAPTER 21- FEELING LIKE A FOOL**

Someone was breathing in her ear. It tickled. Hope squirmed and inched away. When she realized she was going to fall, it was too late. The ground came up and smacked her face in an instant. She rolled over on her back.

"Ow, what the he…?" she hollered. Her eyes flew open and she lay there for half a minute before sitting up. There was Hawkeye lying on his side looking at her, smiling.

"Good morning and how are you?"

She pushed the hair out of her eyes and said, "Confused. It seems to be my perpetual state lately. What happened and why are you in this bed and not your own?"

"Oh, you finished your drink and promptly passed out. BJ and I managed to get you into this bed. Along about 2am, Charles threatened me with grievous bodily harm if I didn't shut you up. You know you groan and toss and turn rather loudly when you sleep?"

"Yes, I've been told that recently by someone." She pointed at him. "Pray continue."

"In self defense, I got in bed with you and held you. That's the only thing that seems to calm you down, but you already know that. We've had this conversation before."

"Yes we have Hawkeye. I'm sorry I put you through this. Could you help me up?"

He got out the bed, went around to the other side and pulled her up. Hawkeye chuckled. "You should see your face." He rubbed the dirt off the side of her face that had hit the ground when she fell. Ever so slightly she leaned into his hand. It was warm and the heat from it shot through her. She sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. He sat beside her.

Hope looked at him and said, "Please tell me we're the only two people in the tent right now."

Hawkeye raised his eyebrows and grinned. "Yes we are. What do you have in mind?"

"Avoiding extreme embarrassment," she told him. "Since I don't hear any loud guffaws or laughter, I take it that BJ and Major Winchester are somewhere else, which means they didn't see my little "floor show" just now."

"They must be in the mess tent having what passes for breakfast around here," he told her.

"Well, thank goodness for that! This episode will be our little secret. Won't it Hawkeye?" she pleaded.

He put his arm around her shoulder, looked in her eyes and said, "Yes Hope, I promise."

The expression on his face was so earnest. He could tell her anything and she would believe him. She wanted to push Hawkeye down on the bed and kiss the daylights out of him. Instead she murmured, "Let's go to breakfast."

* * *

When they got to the mess tent, Hope sat down at the table with BJ and Charles while Hawkeye went to get breakfast for the both of them. She wanted to crawl in a hole when she saw the grins on their faces.

"And how are you this morning Hope?" BJ asked. "Well rested?"

Hope rested her chin on her hand and looked him straight in his eyes. "Yes, how about you BJ? Did you manage to sleep through the night without a problem?" she asked him. "Was it sufficiently quiet enough for you? I've heard from a reliable source that there was a disturbance around 2 am. Didn't hear a thing. I slept like a baby. It was **so** peaceful."

Charles chuckled and said, "It was peaceful after Pierce got you quieted down. Hawkeye hath "charms to soothe the savage breast" or I should say "charms to soothe the restless sleeper".

Hope felt her face turn beet red. "I'm never going to live down last night," she thought. "I can't hold my liquor and I sleep like an elephant. I'm not very ladylike, but I'm certainly entertaining."

Hawkeye sat down beside Hope and handed her a cup of coffee. "Here you go sleeping beauty."

"Thanks Hawkeye." She took a sip of the coffee and sat the cup down on the table. Right then she felt rather foolish. Her mind drifted off to other times when she felt this way. She heard the buzz of conversation but had no idea what was being said.

"Hope," Hawkeye touched her shoulder.

She turned to face him, her eyes watering. "Sorry, my mind just wandered for a minute."

"Are you alright?" he asked her.

Hope shrugged and then lied to him. "Yes, I'm alright Hawkeye." She stood up, grabbed her crutches and left the mess tent.

Major Houlihan stopped her before she got too far away from the mess tent. "Lieutenant, where did you stay last night?"

"Not where I intended to stay Major. I went over to the Swamp with Hawkeye for a drink. I had one drink and fell asleep. BJ and Hawkeye put me in the extra bed there. That's exactly what happened. Dumb, but true. I'm sorry. I won't let happen again," Hope told her.

"Get Klinger to move your things to the VIP tent. You can stay there for the time being."

"Yes ma'am. Thank you." She silently blessed the Major for not blasting her about being in the Swamp all night.

Hope was glad she found Klinger in the office. "Hi Max, Major Houlihan wants you to move my stuff to the VIP tent. That's where I'll be staying for a little while. And don't worry; I don't have a lot to move. If you're busy now, we can wait till later."

"I can do it now. I much rather help you move into the VIP tent than file papers." Max waved his arm at the stack of papers on his desk.

Hope and Max went to the nurse's tent. He picked up the footlocker and she stood on her tip toes grabbed an old stuffed bunny rabbit off her bunk.

He pointed at the stuffed rabbit. "Who or what is that?"

She laughed and held the rabbit close. "Max Klinger, meet Old Fluffy. I've had him since I was five. Some kids have security blankets, I have a security bunny."

Once they got to the VIP tent, it only took ten minutes to get Hope settled in. She gave Old Fluffy pride of place on the bed.

"Thanks so much, I really appreciate your help." She gave Max a hug.

"You're welcome. Always glad to help my filing assistant."

Hope thought of something else she needed. "Max, I could use a basin and something to put water in. It's going to be awhile before I can hit the shower. Everybody will appreciate it if I try to keep myself smelling like something close to a rose."

He chuckled. "You got it Hope. I'll see if I can round up a basin and a pitcher for you, plus some washcloths and towels."

"Thanks again, Max. You're a prince."

"Yep, that's me. Max Klinger, a prince among enlisted men."

"No Max, you're a prince anywhere!"

* * *

While BJ and Hawkeye walked over to Post-Op to check on their patients, Hawkeye said, "Wonder why Hope left the mess tent so abruptly? I don't think I did anything to upset her."

"No Hawk, I don't think you did anything. I think she was embarrassed by what happened last night," BJ told him. "It may take her a little while to get over it. The smartest thing you can do right now is not to say anything to her about it."

"Yeah, I guess you're right BJ. I sure don't want to upset her and push her away. I want to pull her closer."

"I know Hawkeye. You're like a lovesick teenage boy."

Hawkeye sighed, "Ain't that the truth."

Hope walked into Post-Op on the very end of their conversation and started to turn around and leave. Then she heard her name being called.

"Hope." It was one of the patients she had talked to the day before. She turned around, went to his bed and sat down in the chair beside him.

She smiled at him and said, "Hello there handsome."

**Poor Hope. Poor Hawkeye. Seems like it's one step forward and two steps back for them! Maybe things will get better soon. I know Father Mulcahy was absent from this chapter. He will make an appearance next time.**

**Thanks Kind Readers for your support! I love reviews!**


	22. Chapter 22 Doctor, Lawyer, Priest

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 22- DOCTOR, LAWYER, PRIEST**

Hope glanced at the opposite end of Post-Op and saw Hawkeye sitting at a small desk reading a patient's chart. He looked up at her and smiled. She nodded and turned away, giving her entire attention to the patient that had called Hope over to his bed.

"What can I do for you, Ricky?"

"Would you help me write a letter?" He held up his bandaged right hand.

"Sure, let me go find some paper and a pen." She got up to go to the desk. The end of her left crutch didn't clear the bed and she hit the floor face down.

"Oh crap, falling on my face twice in one morning, how graceful!" she murmured to the floor.

She felt hands pull her up. When she saw the face those hands were connected to, she was thankful it was BJ and not Hawkeye.

"Hope, are you alright?"

"Thanks BJ. I'm o.k., just a small wound to my dignity. Could you scrounge up some paper and a pen for me? One of the patients has asked me to write a letter for him."

He nodded. "Sure, I'll see what I can find."

Hope carefully made her way back to the chair by Ricky's bed. Seeing the concern on his face, she told him, "Hey, I'm alright. My brain got ahead of my body, that's all. Oh and I should add that I have all the patience of a gnat when it comes to getting around on crutches."

"Here you go Hope. Paper and pen as requested."

She reached out to take the paper and pen but kept her face on Ricky. "Thanks BJ."

"Do I sound like BJ?"

Hope looked up and saw Hawkeye standing there. "No, you certainly don't. I'm sorry." He looked at her expectantly. What she was thinking, she certainly wouldn't say in front of a patient. "Go away; I can't talk to you now. What do you want from me? Why do you want me?"

She settled for a simple sentence, hoping he would get the message and leave her alone. She told him, , "Thanks for the paper and pen."

When she turned towards Ricky, Hawkeye walked away.

"Now then Ricky, who do you want to send a letter?"

* * *

Two hours and four long letters later, Hope left Post-Op with writer's cramp and a headache. She went to the VIP tent and flopped down on the bed. It was good to be alone without anyone expecting anything from her. It felt good to let her flirty, funny "persona" slip away for a little while.

She closed her eyes and sighed. Yes, her body was alone, but not her mind. Hawkeye was there and for the first time in a year someone else was there as well, someone she thought she had pushed out of her mind permanently. In her mind another man walked in right behind Hawkeye; Anthony MacMillan, Esquire. Hope buried her face in a pillow. "Damn you, Anthony!"

He had had the same magnetic pull on her as Hawkeye did. She couldn't think, breathe or use common sense when she was around Anthony. He was movie star handsome and a lawyer and he used his looks and smooth talking skills to his advantage with her. Although Hawkeye was very different from him, would he use and hurt her in the same way? Hope wanted Hawkeye, but she didn't want the same aftermath when the relationship ended as it had been with the lawyer. She couldn't run away from him, like she did Anthony. Anthony McMillan was the main reason she joined the Army; not just to have Uncle Sam foot the bill for her nursing education. If funding her education had been her main concern, she would have found another way to do it.

Resigning her commission as an officer was not an option. What would she say? "I've fallen in love with an army doctor, I want out before I get hurt."

Someone knocked on the door to her tent. She wanted to tell them to "Go Away!" But Hope sat up and called, "Come in."

She let out a big sigh of relief when she saw it was Klinger. "Hey Max, what's brings you to my humble abode?"

He pulled out a folded piece of paper of his shirt pocket and handed it to her. "I found this in the pocket of the dress you were wearing when you and Father Mulcahy had the accident."

Hope opened the paper and showed Max the picture of her, Father Mulcahy and a little boy from the orphanage sitting under a tree. "One of the nuns drew it for me as a souvenir of the day we spent there."

"It's a good picture," Max told her. Then he innocently added, "Looks like a family on a Sunday picnic, doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does," Hope responded. The picture of Francis Mulcahy's boyish face tugged at her heart. She folded the drawing and put it under Old Fluffy for safe keeping.

"Oh great, another man in the mix; now there's a doctor, a lawyer and a priest!" she thought.

Max gave her 2 pieces of mail he'd been holding in his other hand. "Hope, here's your mail."

He handed her a postcard and a letter. "Thanks, this is first mail I've gotten since I came to the 4077th."The postcard was from her sister, Charity. The letter came from her cousin Tommy. "I should've known. Charity sends the postcard, but she writes enough on it to fill a letter. I'll have to get a magnifying glass to read it. I'll read the letter from Tommy first and the postcard later. What time is it Max? I need to get another watch. I lost mine somewhere before I got to Korea and haven't had a chance to replace it."

"It's about noon. Walk with me to the mess tent?" Klinger asked her.

"Sure. I can read and eat at the same time. On second thought, maybe I'll just read. That's a lot safer." She laughed.

* * *

The mess tent was full when Hope and Max got there. She was relieved that the only spot available was next to Father Mulcahy and not Hawkeye. She put her crutches at the end of the table and sat down by the priest. "Hi Fran…Father".

"Hello, Lieutenant." He looked down at the table where Hope was sitting and saw a letter and post card sitting there. "Aren't you going to eat lunch?"

"No, I don't think I could face the mess tent's food right now."

"Don't you think you should eat something?"

Hope looked up at his face and saw genuine concern there. She touched his shoulder and noticed he didn't pull away. "Don't worry. I'm alright."

"I'm going to hell for lying to a priest!" she thought.

From across the table she felt someone nudge her left foot. She was sitting directly across from Hawkeye. So he was trying to be subtle to get her attention. She ignored him. Hope sighed and opened the letter from Tommy. It was probably rude to read a letter at the table and ignore everyone there, but she didn't care.

_Dear Hope,_

_I know I should start this letter with the usual pleasantries, but I can't wait to tell you I've been admitted to the University of Georgia's College of Veterinary Medicine! All that time spent going around with Doc Beasley on his rounds after school and in the summer paid off. I know I won't be able to do large animal practice because of my leg, but I think I'll be happy treating household pets. There are plenty of dogs, cats and canaries out there that need doctoring! _

_And I just bought a new truck. Well, it's a "new, used" one. I've enclosed a picture of it._

Hope looked at the picture. There was Tommy proudly standing by the truck. As usual, his curly, dark hair hung in his eyes and he was smiling. She touched the picture and wished she was there to share his joy with him. He had always been her best friend and she missed him so much.

_Hope, I could write a lot more and tell you about what's going on around here at home, but I'll save that for another letter. I want you to know that you're in my prayers. Please come back home to us safe and sound. _

_Love,_

_Tommy_

She pulled a necklace with a guardian angel medal hanging from it out of the envelope.

Mulcahy saw the necklace in Hope's hand. "That looks like a guardian angel medal you have."

"Yes, my cousin Tommy sent it to me. You remember Tommy? The moonshine?"

He smiled and said, "Oh yes."

Hope held up the necklace and asked, "Could you help me put this on?"

"Sure Lieutenant."

Hope put it around her neck and he reached over and fastened it.

Francis Mulcahy wanted to leave his fingers there, but he quickly pulled them away.

She smiled at him and without thinking called him by his first name, "Thanks Francis."

After lunch, Hope went back to her tent. She wanted to write a letter to congratulate Tommy on his admission to veterinary school and thank him for the necklace.

Before she could start the letter, there was a knock on the door. Hope sighed in frustration and called out, "Who is it?"

"It's Hawkeye. We need to talk Hope."

"Come in."

He sat down in the chair beside her bed. "What's going on with you? You blow hot and cold. What gives?"

She ran her fingers through her hair and looked at him. "I could lie and make up all kinds of excuses, but the truth is I like you a lot, but I don't want to get hurt. I couldn't take it again."

"How do you know you'll get hurt? You don't know me."

"Yes, you're right Hawkeye. I don't know you. That's why I'm afraid I'll get hurt."

Before he said anything else to her, he reached for her hand and took it in his. "Please Hope; try to get to know me. Try to trust me."

Hope reached out for him. He pulled her in his lap and she put her head on his shoulder. "Oh God Hawkeye, I don't know how to trust anyone anymore."

**Now Hope has shown her other side, the one she covers up with her "happy, flirty" persona. One man can be confusing enough, now there are three and one of them isn't even there! Thanks for reading. I appreciate your continued support, Dear Readers.**


	23. Chapter 23 We Can't Get Away from Them

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 23- WE CAN'T GET AWAY FROM THEM**

**The periodic disclaimer- Hawkeye, Father Mulcahy, BJ and all the other characters from M*A*S*H are sadly not my own. Only Lieutenant Hope Jones, her relatives and the wounded soldiers she encounters are my own.**

* * *

Hawkeye was content to hold Hope in his lap the rest of the afternoon, but the war made other plans. At the first word that came out of the PA to announce that there wounded coming in, Hope slid off his lap back onto the bed. He kissed her on the forehead and was out the door.

She grabbed her crutches and made her way around the behind the tents and buildings to stay out of the way as patients were being triaged. As before, Hope stood and watched, ready to help if she was needed. If some reason no one needed the help she was able to provide, she would wait till all the staff and patients had gone inside to the O.R., then leave and go back to her tent. Standing and waiting was better than letting her mind dwell on things she wanted to forget.

Hope was concentrating so hard on just watching everyone work, that she didn't hear Father Mulcahy call her name. When he touched her shoulder to get her attention, she jumped and nearly lost her balance. She grabbed his arm to keep from falling. "I'm sorry Father; I didn't hear you call me."

When she saw the sad look in his eyes, she already knew what he was going to ask her to do.

"Lieutenant, Battalion Aid brought in a deceased soldier along with the wounded. He'll have to stay here until someone from Graves Registration can come to pick him up. Would you please stay with him until one of the corpsmen can move him to a more suitable place?"

"Yes, Father. Show me where he is. "

He pointed to a young man lying on a stretcher sitting in spot ground out of the way of all of the activity going on. Father Mulcahy thanked her and went on to where he was needed. She knelt down beside the soldier, and then eased herself down so she could sit on the ground.

If it hadn't been for the blood that covered his face and chest, he would have looked like he was only sleeping. His hair was the color of wheat and long eyelashes brushed his cheeks. Hope pulled out his dog tag so she would at least know the young man's name.

His dog tag said he was Corporal Andrew Smithson. "Hello Andrew," she whispered. "I've come to sit with you for a while."

Hope whispered a prayer for his family and what they would have to face when they received news that he had been killed in action. She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her head on them.

Hope cried silently until she was exhausted. She didn't even notice when the corpsmen finally came and moved the soldier to another location. She sat there, not moving.

It was dark when the last patient was taken to Post-Op. Colonel Potter and Father Mulcahy walked outside together.

"Padre, is that Lieutenant Jones on the ground over there?" He pointed in the direction of where Hope was sitting.

"Oh my goodness, it's her. She's been out here the whole time we were in O.R. I asked her to sit with a deceased soldier that was brought in with the wounded from Battalion Aid. The corpsmen moved him hours ago to another place until Graves Registration could pick him up."

Father Mulcahy knelt beside Hope and gently shook her arm. She opened her eyes and groaned. "Where's Andrew?" For a moment he wondered who she was talking about. Then he realized she meant the soldier he had asked her to sit with. "The corpsmen moved him away some time ago, Lieu…Hope. You must have fallen asleep. Come on; let me help you to your tent." She picked up her crutches. He offered her a hand up and she took it.

She turned to Colonel Potter and said, "Good night, sir."

"Good night Lieutenant. Rest easy."

As Hope and Father Mulcahy walked to her tent he told her, "I am so sorry that you sat there for so long. I didn't intend for you to stay there all that time, but it got very busy in the O.R."

"I understand Father. I'm just a little stiff from sitting there so long. I'm alright." By then they were at the door to her tent. "Listen, in the near future, I need to talk to you about something that has become a burden to me. I thought I had gotten over it, but I haven't. Please help me, I ask you as my chaplain and my…friend."

This request from Hope had taken him by surprise. He could only tell her, "Alright, sometime soon we'll talk. Good night."

He was her friend and she could no longer be formal and call him "Father". She would call him "Francis" when they were not on duty unless he told not to do it anymore.

She placed her hand on his and said, "Good night Francis and thank you."

He left her wondering what she wanted to talk to him about and why she called it a "burden". Then he thought about his own burden; how much he cared for her.

* * *

Hope was surprised to see the pitcher, basin and towels she had asked Klinger to get for her that morning. "How in the world did he find time to round these things up with all the craziness that happened this afternoon? God bless him. He's a miracle worker."

She went to her footlocker and took out a bar of French milled soap that had been a Christmas gift the year before. It smelled like roses,the way her mother always smelled when Hope would hug her. It reminded her of when she was a little girl and that there was nothing she could do, no trouble she could get into that her mother couldn't forgive. Did her mother still love her unconditionally after Hope had done such a stupid and reckless thing before she joined the Army?

Hope sat down in the chair by her bed and poured water into the basin. She stripped down to the waist and took a long time to wash her face, neck, arms and torso. It felt so good to be clean.

There was a knock at the door. Before Hope could say "Who is it?" or "Come in", in came Hawkeye. She grabbed the towel and threw it over her chest.

"My God, Hawkeye, don't you know to wait until someone tells you to come in! Please go away." She sighed wearily. "I'm not mad at you, just very tired and may I add, now very embarrassed. I'll talk to you in the morning."

"I'm sorry Hope. I'm going, I'm going. Good night." He backed out the door and left.

He made a bee line for the Swamp. BJ was already there lying on his bed reading a letter. Hawkeye didn't say anything to his friend. He poured himself a drink and sat on the edge of the bed. Five minutes passed before BJ sat up and asked him," What's up with you? You come in here without so much as a "Hi, honey I'm home", pour yourself a drink and sit there holding it in your hand."

Hawkeye sighed. "I just did something stupid."

"Really Hawk? Is that anything out of the ordinary for you?" BJ teased.

"No BJ, I really did something stupid this time. I walk into Hope's tent without knocking and there she was taking a sponge bath. I really didn't see much. She covered up herself up with a towel pretty fast. Needless to say, she verbally ran me out of the tent."

BJ fell back on his bed laughing. "I bet you'll wait until she tells you to come in next time!"

Hawkeye took a big swallow of his drink, and then said, "Yeah, I sure will."A sly grin spread across his face and he sighed. What he'd seen in that brief glance of Hope's body was something he wouldn't soon forget and it was worth the stupid mistake he'd made.

* * *

Francis Mulcahy lay in his bed trying to go to sleep. He was certainly tired enough, but his mind wouldn't let his body give in to it. What could Hope possibly want to talk to him about? Whatever it was, it seemed to be something serious that troubled her. The part of him that was a priest wanted to help her because she was a person in distress. The other part, the man, wanted to help her because he loved her.

He gave up trying to go to sleep, got up, put on his robe and went for a walk.

* * *

When Hope finished her sponge bath, she slipped into the pajamas Klinger had given her and sat on the bed wondering if she could fall asleep right away. She was afraid if she did, she'd dream about Anthony

Hope lay down and sat up five times in two minutes. "Oh to heck with this!" She put on her robe and slippers, grabbed her crutches and headed out into the darkened compound to go for a walk.

The night was clear and the camp was quite. Other than the sentry on duty, she thought she was alone outside. Then she saw a man standing in the shadows looking up at the night sky. As she got closer to him, Hope realized it was Francis. Not saying a word, she stood by him and looked up at sky as well.

He spoke first, "_When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; What is man, that thou are mindful of him? And the son of man, that thou visitest him? For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour."_

"Psalms, Chapter 8, verses 3 through 5," she responded. Hope pointed at the stars. "Makes you feel kind of small, doesn't it? We're born, we die and they still shine on. All our troubles don't seem to amount to much in the grand scheme of things."

"Compare to the vastness of space, our troubles may be insignificant, but they are with us in this time and place and we can't get away from them," he said softly.

Even though she couldn't really see his face in the darkness, she turned to look at him anyway. "Yes Francis, we can't get away from them."

**Hawkeye has seen a little more than he should have, but that's what you get for walking in on someone unannounced! Now it appears that Hope and Father Mulcahy are on speaking terms once more.**

**Dear Readers, once again I thank you for reading this story. Please review! More to come soon.**


	24. Chapter 24 A Cloud Covered Up the Sun

**HOPE'S CALLING-CHAPTER 24- A CLOUD COVERED UP THE SUN**

When Hope returned to her tent, she was at peace. Was it because she had been with Francis as a priest or as her friend looking at stars? If it was only a temporary respite from the things that troubled her, she'd take it just like someone would take medication for terrible pain. The effects of the medication would wear off and the pain would return, but you'd take it anyway even if it only lasted for a few hours because you needed it.

Before getting in the bed, Hope pulled out the drawing from under Old Fluffy and put it in her footlocker along with the photo that Tommy had sent her. She got under the covers and fell asleep curled up in a ball, holding the stuffed rabbit for dear life.

_Corporal Andrew Smithson entered her tent and sat down next to the bed. He leaned over and smiled at her. "Hello, I'm Andy. Remember me? "_

"_Andy, what are you doing here?"_

"_I've come to sit with you. You did the same thing for me."_

"_Why Andy?"_

"_Because you seem so sad. But it will be o.k. Just give it time."_

Hope woke up trembling and muttering, "Just a dream, that's all. It was just a dream." She closed her eyes whispering "just a dream, just a dream" until she fell asleep again.

_She was at a wedding. The church was full of people Hope didn't recognize. She realized she was the bride as she came down the aisle alone. No one was there to give her away. The groom's face was not visible until she came to stand beside him. When he turned his face to her, it was Anthony. She took a step backward as he reached out to grab her arm. The closer he came to her, the faster she moved away from him until she turned and ran out of the church._

Someone opened the door to the Swamp so hard that it almost came off its hinges. It woke up all three of the surgeons. BJ and Charles sat up and watched silently as Hawkeye went to Hope. She was standing there wide eyed and trembling. He pulled her inside the tent, led her over to his bed and took the crutches out of her hands. She sat down beside him, put her head on his shoulder and kept repeating, "Just a dream, only a dream." He lay down and pulled her beside him. She pushed her head into his chest and threw her arms around him so tight that it hurt. He rubbed her back until she relaxed and went back to sleep.

"Oh God Hope, what is wrong with you?" he whispered into her hair.

* * *

When Hope opened her eyes she looked up into Hawkeye's sleeping face. Her first thought was "How did I get here?" and the second one was "He looks so peaceful." She wanted to touch his face, but she was afraid to wake him. A few minutes later, he stirred. She felt his hand rub up and down her side and rest on her hip.

"I'm sorry Hawkeye. Since I'm here, it looks like I disturbed your sleep last night. I don't even remember how I got here."

"Hope, when you came here last night, you had the most terrified look in your eyes. Did you have a nightmare?" He stroked her cheek with his thumb.

She sighed and said, "Oh yes, a really bad one."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No Hawkeye, talking about it would be like reliving it. I can't face it this morning."

He kissed her forehead. "O.K., we won't talk about it."

"But I wish you would," he thought.

She rolled over and sat up. "Guess I better go now."

He sat up and leaned against her back. "Hope, you don't have to go anywhere unless it's to breakfast with me. When's the last time you ate?"

She rubbed her face. "I don't remember."

Hawkeye pulled her around to face him. "I am going to do something I thought I'd never do."

"What's that Hawkeye?"

He smiled and pushed the hair out of her eyes. "Give you a direct order. Lieutenant Jones you will eat breakfast and you will do it with me."

Hope chuckled and gave him a crooked salute. "Yes sir, Captain Pierce."

When they got to the mess tent, Hawkeye led Hope over to the table where BJ, Charles and Margaret were sitting. He put his hand on her shoulder and gently pushed her down on the bench. "Park it here missy." He kissed her forehead. " I'll be back with one of everything and you'll eat it."

Hope rolled her eyes and smiled at him. "Hawkeye doesn't that constitute "cruel and unusual punishment"?

"So sue me, you're going to eat." He walked off to the steam table.

The smile evaporated from Hope's face. The words "cruel and unusual punishment" and "sue" sounded like lawyer speak. It reminded her of Anthony. She wasn't dreaming, but there he was again. There was no way to escape him!

Hawkeye returned with a tray for her. She took three bites and almost choked on the food. Hope stood up to leave.

He grabbed her hand. "Where are you going? Sit down and eat."

She jerked her hand away. "Look, I ate something. Now leave me alone!" Hope grabbed her crutches, put them under her arms and hobbled out of the mess tent.

After he watched her walk away, he asked BJ, "What happened while I was gone to get the food? She seemed alright when I left her."

"I'm not sure Hawkeye. All I know is the smile on her face faded when you walked away. It was like a cloud had covered up the sun."

* * *

Father Mulcahy had just started working on his sermon for Sunday when someone knocked on the door. He called out, "Come in!"

"Francis I need to talk to you. Now." She sat down by him.

"Since I'm not Catholic, this can't technically be considered a confession in sacramental terms. I'm going to tell you this because you're my friend; I trust you and I can't hold it inside anymore."

He put down the pen he had been using to make sermon notes and gave her his full attention. "What is it Hope?"

She was afraid to look at his face; she looked at her hands sitting in her lap instead. Hope hesitated to speak, but she summoned up some sort of courage and the words began to tumble out of her mouth. "Francis, before I joined the Army, I had an affair with a man from my hometown, Anthony MacMillan. He's seven years older than me and was about to get married when I met him."

She looked up at the priest, half expecting to see disappointment in his eyes. Instead, she saw concern.

He reached over and took her hand. "It's alright Hope. You don't need to be afraid. My job is to listen and offer comfort and advice, not to judge you."

Hope sighed and continued, "That's only half of the story. I…"

A knock on the door interrupted her. Francis got up and answered it. Klinger stood at the door.

"What is it Klinger? I have someone in "my office" right now."

"I'm sorry Father. Major Houlihan sent me. A patient in Post-Op has suddenly taken a turn for the worse and she wants you to be there to give him last rites."

"Alright, tell her I'm on my way."

He turned to Hope. "I'm sorry, I've got to go. We'll finish this later, I won't forget."

"I know Francis, we'll talk later."

He touched her shoulder lightly before he grabbed his stole, prayer book and vial of anointing oil and headed towards Post-Op.

**Nightmares brought Hope back to Hawkeye's bed. It looks like her memories might keep her away. Not so sure how her confession to Father Mulcahy will affect his feelings for her. **

**Thanks for reading!**


	25. Chapter 25 The Confession

**HOPE'S CALLING – CHAPTER 25- THE CONFESSION**

Hope returned to the VIP tent to change from pajamas into a uniform. When she opened the footlocker to retrieve the uniform she remembered the postcard from Charity. Once dressed, Hope tucked it in her shirt pocket. She headed to Klinger's office to find a magnifying glass because she'd certainly need it to read her sister's writing.

When she got to the office, Max wasn't there. She sat down at his desk, reached over and turned on the lamp. Hope held the postcard so close to her face that it touched her nose. She squinted and tried to read her sister's handwriting. There one only word she could make out. It was "Daddy". As much as she wanted to find a magnifying glass, Hope wasn't about to prowl around through the office to look for it. She stood up to leave and had made it to the door, when Colonel Potter came in.

"Hello Lieutenant, do you need help with something?"

"Yes sir, I do. I was hoping there was a magnifying glass lying around somewhere. I need one to read this." She showed him the postcard.

"My Lord, that writing's so tiny, it looks like a troop of ants marched across it and froze there. Who sent you this?" he asked her.

She chuckled. "My baby sister, Charity. Her motto is "why spring for a few sheets of paper and a first class stamp, when you can write it all on a penny postcard and make your sister blind in the process?"

"Hold on a minute, I think I've got a magnifying glass somewhere in my desk. Be right back."

The Colonel went in his office. While Hope stood beside Max's desk waiting on him, she heard drawers being opened and closed rather loudly, combined with a few words that shouldn't be heard at a Sunday school picnic.

He came out of his office with a triumphant look on his face. "Here you go. Maybe you'll be able to read that postcard now without going blind."

"Thank you, sir." She held up the magnifying glass. "I'll bring it back as soon as I'm finished reading the postcard."

* * *

Hope went over to the mess tent and found a table. She sat down and started reading the postcard. Most of the things that Charity had written about were pretty commonplace happenings in their little town. Hope read through it quickly until she got to the words "Daddy" and "angina". She put the postcard and the magnifying glass down. Why was Charity telling her this? Why hadn't she heard from her sister Faith, her mother or even Tommy about this?

She had been so focused on reading the postcard that she hadn't realized that anyone had come and sat down beside her.

"What's with the magnifying glass?" Hope looked up to see BJ sitting beside her.

She held up the postcard. "It's this, BJ. The magnifying glass is the only way to decipher what's written on it. See what I mean?"

She passed the postcard to him. He looked at one side, turned it over and looked at the other side. BJ handed it back to Hope. "Yeah, I sure do. You look worried. Did you get bad news?"

"I'm not sure if I should jump to conclusions from the two words," Daddy" and "angina", on this postcard. Charity is no dummy, just kind of flighty. If I could talk to my mom, my older sister, my cousin Tommy or Doc Williams, I'd feel better about it."

"Why don't you try to call one of them?" he suggested.

"I don't know BJ. I wonder if my dad told them not to tell me because I'm here and he doesn't want me to worry. He once told me if they gave out gold medals for worrying, I'd have one."

BJ chuckled, "You wouldn't be the only one Hope." The expression on his face suddenly became serious and his eyes misted. "There's not a second, a minute or an hour that I don't think about my family and wonder how they are."

Hope saw that look on his face. "Tell me about them."

He pulled a worn photo out of his pocket and handed it to Hope. It was a picture of a beautiful blonde young woman and an adorable little girl. She touched the faces on the photo. He pointed at the young woman. "That's my wife Peg." Then he moved his finger over to the little girl's face. "And that's my daughter Erin."

"Oh BJ, they're beautiful. You're so blessed." Hope handed the picture back to him.

"Yeah, don't I know it." He smiled and put the photo back in his pocket. "I constantly think about them when I'm awake and dream about them when I'm asleep."

Hope thought about the dreams she had over the last few days. They weren't about family. They were just confusing and frightening as hell. She was beginning to dread going to sleep at night.

Hope picked up the postcard and magnifying glass. "BJ, I hope all your dreams are sweet. I've gotta go now." She stood up, grabbed her crutches and headed out the door.

As she was going out of the mess tent, Hawkeye came in. BJ noticed when his friend spoke to Hope; she only nodded and walked on.

Hawkeye sat down across from BJ. "What am I doing wrong? One minute, everything's fine with her; the next, she shuts me out."

"Hawkeye, sometimes you are blind to the obvious. I think something's really bothering her. Maybe you should just leave her alone for now."

"I know I should BJ, but I want to help her. I think I'm in …" He stopped short of what he wanted to say, but BJ knew what it was anyway.

"Hawkeye, you're a surgeon. It's in your nature to want to repair things. In a way, fixing a body is a hell of a lot easier than fixing a broken heart. If you rush in and try to fix what's bothering Hope, you may do irreparable damage to any sort of relationship you want to have with her."

"Yes, you're right. Dammit."

* * *

When he had finished administering the last rites to the patient in Post-Op, Father Mulcahy went back to his tent. He was thankful to be alone for a while. As much as he wanted Hope to tell him the rest of her confession, and yes it was a confession whether she was Catholic or not, he was glad for the opportunity to decompress from a difficult duty. Giving last rites was a part of his priestly calling, but it was made so much more difficult by the fact that the persons receiving the sacrament were dying much too young and so suddenly.

Francis sat down and closed his eyes. He relaxed and let his mind wander for a few minutes. It went right up to the sign he had posted in his head; the one that said "forbidden territory". He resisted the thought that was right there wanting to cross over to where it shouldn't go. It pushed back and came right in. The thought, pure and simple, was Hope. It was her face, her eyes, her voice; it was everything about her. What would it be like to hold her and kiss her?

There was a knock at his door. It interrupted his thoughts and annoyed him so much that he shouted without thinking, "Who is it?"

The voice that answered brought him back to reality. "Francis, it's me, Hope. I wanted to finish my talk with you. Is this a bad time? I can come back later. "

He got up and opened the door to her. "Come in Hope. I'm sorry I shouted at you."

She was already nervous and the annoyed look on his face when he opened the door didn't help. "I'm sorry. Really, if you want me to come back later, I will."

His face softened and he gave her a half smile. "No, now is the time you need to talk to me. You shouldn't have to wait any longer. Come sit down."

Hope sat down in the chair across from him. She rested her shaking hands on her knees and looked into his eyes. "I told you I had an affair with a man named Anthony MacMillan and that he's seven years older than me. He was in college, then law school when I was in high school. "

The priest nodded his head in affirmation that she had told him this before. "Go on," he said softly.

She took a deep breath and continued. "Like I said, Anthony is from my home town. I've known him all my life. He's movie star handsome and he knows it. He never had to pursue a girl, they pursued him. I never did because I didn't think he'd give me a second glance. He wasn't interested in "average", or so I thought.

I also thought that he wouldn't be interested in me because I'm a minister's daughter; "too goody, goody for him."

"When he finished law school, he came back home for a short while before he went to work for a law firm in Atlanta. By then, I had graduated from high school and was trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life. I was working for Doc Beasley, the local vet, when Anthony brought his mother's dog in for treatment. Before he left the vet's office that day, he asked me out on a date. I said "yes" in amazement. The man looked like a combination of Gregory Peck and Cary Grant and I wondered why in the world he asked average looking me out."

"The first date was nice. He took me to a very nice restaurant in Atlanta and then we went dancing. I felt special. I only had a couple of dates in high school and didn't have much experience, so the way Anthony treated me made me feel very special. He dropped me off at the door with a good night kiss. I thought he really liked me and I hoped we would continue to date. By about the third date, it became obvious he wanted a lot more than a good night kiss from me."

Hope paused and ran her fingers through her hair. Now she had to tell the hardest part of her story. "Oh Francis, I don't know if I can tell you the rest. I'm so ashamed of myself."

He took her hand and said softly, "Yes, you can tell me. I'm not here to judge you Hope. Go on."

There was a knock at the door. Francis let out an annoyed sigh. He put a finger to his lips to indicate to Hope to be quiet. He hoped whoever was on the other side of the door would give up and go away if it was quiet. Maybe they would think no one was there. After a long thirty seconds, there was the sound of retreating footsteps.

Both Hope and Francis let out an audible sigh of relief. He looked heavenward and addressed the Almighty with his eyes open. "Lord, please for just a little while, could there not be anymore interruptions? It's wearing on the nerves! Thank you. Amen"

Hope took a deep breath and continued. "Like I said, he wanted more from me than a good night kiss. I was so flattered by his attention that I gave in and slept with him. I was very naïve and had it in my head that he wouldn't continue to date me if I didn't. Since he always took me on dates in Atlanta, it was easier to find hotels where we would be anonymous. He always brought me home around midnight, so nobody would get too suspicious."

"For me, his attentions became an addiction for me. I felt like I couldn't refuse him anything. Over time, he grew tired of me. The whole time this affair was going on, he failed to tell me he was engaged to marry some Atlanta socialite. He was after the girl's money and status, I guess. "

"Two days before Anthony's wedding, I found out I was pregnant. When I called him to tell him that, he told me he was getting married and it would be best to never contact him again. I asked him what I was going to do; pregnant without a husband. He bluntly told me that if I was stupid enough to get pregnant, it was my problem, not his. And besides, he said, I would be the one to bring shame on my minister father, not him. It was then I knew what Anthony MacMillan truly was; a man who would manipulate others to get what he wanted and discard them when he had it."

"Thank God for Doc Williams, our family doctor. Well really, the whole county's doctor. That man carries so many peoples' secrets and he knew mine. I turned to him for help. He made arrangements to get me away from town. I was going to visit one of his sisters in Florida. She was elderly and needed help around her house. I would stay long enough to have the baby. An adoption would be arranged and I would come back home to resume my life."

"Before I was schedule to go to Florida, nature intervened. I had a miscarriage." She had managed to stay fairly calm in the telling of her story until then. Her eyes watered and tears began to roll down her face.

Seeing her tears broke Francis Mulcahy's heart. He took her hand again and held it. "Oh Hope, I am so sorry. Do you want to stop now? You can tell me the rest later."

She shook her head. "I've got to finish this now Francis."

"Shortly after the miscarriage, I made the decision to join the Army. I had two reasons for this decision; one was to get away from home and Anthony, the other to get a nursing education."

"I did a terrible thing. Francis, was the miscarriage a punishment for what I did?"

"No, Hope, it wasn't a punishment. It just wasn't meant to be, "he told her. He so wanted to hold her to comfort her.

She asked him another question. "Can I be forgiven for what I did? I am so sorry for what happened. I was a fool."

"Hope, if you are truly sorry for what you did, God forgives you. The question now is this; can you forgive yourself?"

**Hope has finally made her confession. Now that she has told Father Mulcahy, will it change his feelings for her? **

**Once again, Dear Readers, thank you for your support. Please review! **


	26. Chapter 26 Protect Her

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 26- PROTECT HER**

**Once again, the periodic disclaimer: **The characters from M*A*S*H are not my own, only Hope Jones and the people from her hometown are creations of mine.

* * *

Hope sighed and answered, "I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for what I did, what I let happen. It may take a life time."

"Hope you can't undo the past, but you have to try to forgive yourself to have a future worth living. You owe that to yourself and to…"

"God, you mean Francis?" she finished his sentence.

"Yes, he's given you this life as a gift. Don't waste it living in regret over things you can change."

She reached over and lightly touched his cheek. "Dear Francis, how did you get to be so wise? This may sound crazy, but what you told me just now sounds so much like my dad that I suddenly felt he was here with me. I've told you things that I don't think I'll ever be able to tell him."

His face flushed at her words and her touch on his face. "I'm so thankful I was here for you Hope."

Hope sensed that she had made him uncomfortable with the simple gesture of touching his cheek. She grabbed her crutches and stood up to leave. "Dearest Francis, I am so thankful I can call you "Friend". Thank you so much for listening to me. You've helped to give me some heart's ease and I'll always be grateful for it."

By this time, he was standing as well. She put her arms around him and hugged him. He wouldn't avoid her touch this time; so without hesitation, he returned the embrace. "Hope, I'm always here to help you. Don't forget that."

She let go and looked up at him, her eyes still wet with tears. "I won't Francis, I won't."

Hope moved to leave his tent. He watched her walk away until the door closed behind her. How his heart ached to be more than just her friend.

* * *

Lunch was long over. Hope's stomach growled in protest at being so empty. She had only eaten those three bites at breakfast and couldn't remember what she had before that. It was really too early for the O club to be open for business, but she was hoping that Igor was there setting up the bar. Maybe there would be pretzels or some other stale delight she could nibble on.

Before she could make it half way to the O club, Hawkeye intercepted her. "Hope, where have you been?"

"Talking to a friend."

"A friend? What am I then?" he asked her. He turned her to face him. His eyes searched hers. It was then he saw how red they were. "What kind of friend would cause you to cry like this?"

Hope shook her head. "They didn't. It was me. Something I did that I'll regret for the rest of my life. And Hawkeye, please don't ask me what it is. Not now."

He reached out to put his arm around her, but then he saw her body stiffen and let his arm flop down by his side. "Well, can I ask you something else? It has absolutely nothing to do with whatever it was that had you so upset."

"Alright Hawkeye, what is it?"

He grinned at her. "Where are you headed to now?"

"To find something, anything to eat." She held up her hand. "I know what you're going to say. I should have eaten breakfast. Feel free to say "I told you so"."

"O.k., I told you so. Now let's find you something to eat." He put his hand on her back and steered her towards the Swamp.

"What in the world is there in the Swamp to eat?"

He got closer to her and whispered in her ear. "I know where BJ is hiding the latest stash of goodies that Peg sent him."

"Hawkeye, that's sneaky and it's also stealing," she whispered back.

"Yes, it is. But desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Hawkeye, I won't waste away before supper. I'll just have to wait." Just then her stomach growled loudly

He laughed, "Wanna bet?"

She patted her stomach and smiled. "O.k., lead me into a life of crime and food thievery."

Hawkeye's heart did a flip when he saw that smile. His sun had come out again, if only for a little while.

BJ caught them in the act. The tin containing Peg's sinfully, gooey chocolate brownies lay open on Hawkeye's bed. The evidence was on both Hawkeye's and Hope's faces. Hawkeye had chocolate on his nose and chin. Hope had it on her upper lip like a mustache.

He knew he should be angry with Hawkeye for getting into the brownies without asking first, but the two of them looked like little kids caught with their hands in the proverbial cookie jar. He couldn't help but laugh.

"Why didn't you ask me first, Hawkeye? You know I would have shared them with you."

When Hawkeye answered BJ, he looked and sounded like a five year old boy. "Because Hope was hungry. You know she hardly touched breakfast."

"Yes, I know. I was there, sitting at the table with you and Hope." He reached over and grabbed the tin off of Hawkeye's bed and took a brownie for himself. As he ate it, there was an expression of pure bliss on his face. Once he was finished, he sighed, "These things are so good. It's a taste of home I can't get enough of." He pointed at Hawkeye. "But you have had your limit Buster!" Then he looked at Hope and said in mock seriousness, "And you'll spoil your supper, young lady!"

"Oh and wipe the chocolate off your faces," he added.

Hawkeye took the bottom of his t-shirt and wiped his face, then reached over to wipe off Hope's chocolate mustache. He really wanted to kiss it off, but he knew she didn't want him to touch her. Besides BJ was there and Hawkeye thought he had already had enough amusement at their expense. "Alright BJ, is that better?"

BJ chuckled. "Yep, much better. You two almost look like respectable Army officers, instead of kids that got caught with their hands in the cookie jar, or the brownie tin in this case."

* * *

After Hope had left his tent, Father Mulcahy went back to working on his sermon. The more he tried to concentrate on it, the more his mind wandered. He kept writing the same sentence over and over. When he looked down at the paper and saw it, he threw his pen down. "I give up! There's no point in trying to work on this right now."

As a distraction, he thought he'd put on his boxing gloves and give the punching bag a work out. He went after it like a man possessed. The thought of the way Anthony MacMillan had used and discarded Hope made his blood boil. He wanted to tear into a man he didn't know that was thousands of miles away. Francis Mulcahy had never felt such intense hatred for anyone in his life and it frightened him so much that he stopped hitting the punching bag. He removed the gloves and threw them on his bed, then walked out of his tent. He wanted to find Hope, to talk to her again about anything. He just wanted to be with her.

As Francis passed the Swamp, he heard Hope's laughter. He envied Hawkeye hearing her laugh. He wanted to share her joys as well as her sorrows. Given Hawkeye's reputation as a lady's man, he felt that he should protect her from any heartache the surgeon might cause her. It felt that he was responsible for protecting her. It would be his mission.

* * *

Hawkeye walked with Hope to the mess tent for supper. A couple of times she lost her balance and almost fell. He grabbed her both times, but let her go once she had righted herself. It was hard for him not to touch her.

"This time, Hawkeye, I am going to stand in the chow line with you. You carry my tray, I choose what I to eat. Sound like a fair division of labor?"

"Yes Hope, if you promise to eat this time. Doctor's orders."

"Alright, just remember Doctor Pierce, that we've had dessert already."

"Yeah, how could I forget? It was pretty memorable."

She laughed. "Hawkeye Pierce, brownie thief and his accomplice, Hope Jones! There'll be "wanted posters" in every post office back home. Wonder what the reward will be for our capture?"

The smile on Hawkeye's face faded. "Hope, how can you be in tears one minute and joke the next? I don't understand."

Hope sighed, "Look, this isn't the time or place to try to figure me out." She looked behind at the other people in the chow line and then back at him. "There are people behind us waiting to get their food. Come on, let's go sit down."

They joined BJ, Charles, Colonel Potter, Major Houlihan and Father Mulcahy at a table. Hope sat on the end next to Hawekye and directly across from Father Mulcahy. She remembered she still had Colonel Potter's magnifying glass in her shirt pocket and handed it to Hawkeye. "Please pass that down to Colonel Potter. Thanks, Colonel for loaning it to me. It did help me read the postcard from my sister."

"Why did you need a magnifying glass to read a postcard?" Hawkeye asked her.

"Because of this." She pulled the postcard out of the same pocket that had held the magnifying glass.

He took it from her and squinted at it, then handed it back to her. "I see why you needed it. Did you figure out what your sister wrote on the postcard?"

"Most of it. The most important thing I got out of it was the fact that my dad has been having chest pains. Why no one else in the family has told me about it, is beyond me. I guess Daddy wouldn't let them because he didn't want me to worry."

A thought occurred to her, "The family doesn't tell me about Daddy's chest pains, I didn't tell them I had an affair, got pregnant and had a miscarriage. Maybe I'm getting what I deserve."

Her eyes misted and she blinked hard to keep tears from rolling down her cheeks. She hoped no one else noticed it, but Francis did. He knew exactly what she was thinking about. Hope saw his face and it gave her comfort that there was someone who understood what was going on inside her heart and mind.

"Hope, hello, did you hear me?" It was Hawkeye. She hadn't heard a word of whatever he'd been saying to her.

She turned to face him." I'm sorry Hawkeye, I wasn't paying attention. My mind wandered off there for a minute." Hope started eating to keep from having to say anything else to him. Maybe he'd take the hint and leave her to eat in peace.

Hawkeye looked at her, and then happened to look at Father Mulcahy's face. The priest was glaring at him. It was plain that he wanted Hawkeye to leave Hope alone.

**Now Francis wants to protect Hope from being hurt again. He feels that Hawkeye might be the one to hurt her. We may see a side of the good Father that we haven't seen before. Thanks for reading. More to come soon!**


	27. Chapter 27 A is For ?

**HOPE'S**** CALLING –CHAPTER 27- A IS FOR ?**

**Disclaimer**- The characters from M*A*S*H are not my own. Only Hope and her family are my own creation.

* * *

Somewhere Hope had heard the expression, "When the going gets tough, the tough take a nap." This sounded like a plan for her evening. A little early for it, but the longer she slept, the more time away she spent from her waking life. You could call it the "escape by sleep". She'd give it a try. If it didn't work, then she would invent a Plan B.

When Hope got to the VIP tent, she changed into her pajamas, crawled under the covers and switched off the light. People talked about counting sheep as a way to fall asleep. It sounded kind of dumb to her, but she thought she'd give it a try and formed a mental picture of a field full of sheep lined up single file waiting their turn to jump over a fence.

One sheep jumped over the fence, then the next and the next. By the time the fourth sheep jumped over the fence, it seemed the first one was back in line again. This little scene played over and over in Hope's head. She sat straight up, threw off the covers and sighed in frustration.

Maybe she would read until she was too sleepy to hold her eyes open. Then Hope recalled there were only three things to read in her footlocker; a Bible, a very old issue of Life magazine and the mail she had received. Hope was definitely not in the mood to read the Bible, she had just about memorized the pictures and stories in the magazine because she had looked at it so many times, and she had read the letter from Tommy and the postcard from Charity already.

The next idea that came to mind required her to leave her tent. Since consuming alcohol seemed to put "her lights out", she could go to the O Club and get a scotch, probably not as potent at the homemade gin from the Swamp, but it might do the trick. If she needed more than one scotch, she'd have it and hope that she didn't fall asleep at the bar.

* * *

When Hope got to the O Club, she made a bee line for the bar or as fast as possible on crutches and managed to get up on a bar stool without falling on her face. The falling on her face part might come later, depending on how many drinks she had.

Igor took her order for a scotch, no water and no ice. Once the drink was in hand, she sipped it slowly and let the scotch linger on her tongue before she swallowed it. The warm feeling it gave her as it went down felt good and helped to her remember why it was her favorite drink.

"That's the first time I've ever seen anyone "romance" the swill served here."

The voice startled her. She turned to see Major Winchester sitting beside her at the bar. It was the second time he had said a complete sentence to her since she'd come to the 4077th.

"Hmm… that's an interesting expression Major. I've never thought about savoring a drink as "romancing" it. I'd much rather have a glass of a lovely single malt whiskey such as Glenlivet, but I'll take what I can get."

He chuckled. "I am surprised to hear that you're a connoisseur of single malt whiskey being that you're a minister's daughter."

"Ah, once again and for the umpteenth time in my life, I am being stereotyped. I will say I certainly didn't learn an appreciation of it at home. My dad is a tee-totaler. I learned about good scotch from someone else and it was the only good thing I ever learned from that person."

"That sounds like an interesting story," Winchester responded.

"Let's just say that the person was not a gentleman and the story is certainly not one for public consumption," she told him. "Although I can tell you what I learned about moonshine from my cousin, Tommy, my "partner in crime" while growing up."

She saw the surprised expression on the Major's face and laughed. "Let that be a story for another time."

Father Mulcahy walked into the O Club, sat down at the piano and started noodling around on the keyboard. Hope excused herself from Winchester and went over to the priest."Hey Francis, what are you playing?" He played a few more notes and she recognized the song. Hope motioned for him to let her sit beside him. Once seated, she smiled and said, "I love this song! Sing it with me?"

He smiled back at her and said, "O.K." He started singing.

_When Johnny Jones was serenading Mary,  
He sure could quote a lot of poetry,  
But he'd much rather tell her,  
What he learned in his speller,  
When they both attended PS 33._

Hope joined in.

_A, You're adorable . . .  
B, You're so beautiful . . .  
C, You're a cutie full of charms . . .  
D, You're a darling and . . .  
E, You're exciting . . .  
F, You're a feather in my arms . . . _

She looked at him to sing the next part.

_G, You look good to me . . .  
H, You're so heavenly . . .  
I, You're the one I idolize . . .  
J, We're like Jack and Jill . . .  
K, You are so kiss-able . . .  
L, Is the love-light in your eyes . . . _

He blushed and nodded at her to continue.

_M, N, O, P . . .  
I could go on all day . . .  
Mmmmmmm!  
Q, R, S, T . . .  
Alphabetically speaking you're OK__.  
_

"You're turn, Francis," she whispered.

_U, Made my life complete . . .  
V, Means you're very sweet . . .  
W, X, Y, Z . . .  
It's fun to wander through,  
The alphabet with you,  
_

They sang the last lines together.

_To tell you what you mean to me._

_(I love you alphabetically)._

"Thanks Francis, that was fun," she whispered. "I needed that." He smiled at her and said, "Me, too."

* * *

After supper, Hawkeye had gone straight to the Swamp. He had not been in the mood to go to the O Club, which was unusual for him. The look that Mulcahy had given him at supper puzzled him. What had he done to upset the man and why did the man seem to be so protective of Hope all of a sudden? He didn't have a clue.

He poured himself a drink and pondered these questions. Perhaps he was wasting his time looking for a serious relationship with Hope. It wasn't worth the effort. He could continue on as he as he always had with casual relationships, nothing serious, and nothing that could lead to anything permanent. He could do that on auto-pilot.

He finished the drink and lay down, seeking escape from the questions by falling asleep.

Sometime between midnight and one in the morning, BJ and Charles entered the swamp serenading each other. "A, you're adorable, B, you're beautiful," BJ warbled. "C, you're a cutie full of charm," Charles sang back to him. "D, you're delightful; E, you're exciting; F, you're a feather in my…."

By this time, Hawkeye was wide awake and sitting up. "No! A is for annoying as hell! You two idiots just shut up and go to sleep!" He slammed his body back down on the bed.

"Aw," BJ slurred. "Hawkeye doesn't like our singing. Whatsa matter buddy, did somebody rain on your parade?" The question was punctuated by a hiccup. He staggered back and fell on his bed, giggling.

"Poor, poor Doctor Pierce; doesn't have any fun, "Charles said in drunken sympathy. "It's such a shame; he used to be belle of the ball."

Hawkeye got up and left the Swamp growling "Stupid drunks! Can't a man get some sleep around here?"

After the door had slammed behind him, Charles asked, "Why is he mad at us? What did we ever do to him?"

"Don't know Charles. He used to be such fun, now he's a Killjoy," BJ pronounced solemnly. "It's sad, really sad."

* * *

For the first time in she couldn't remember, Hope slept through the night without tossing and turning or nightmares. When she rolled over and opened her eyes, she saw Hawkeye seated in the chair beside her bed, sound asleep, his head resting on his chest.

She reached out, gently shook his leg and whispered, "Hawkeye, wake up. You're going have a crick in your neck sleeping like that."

He opened his eyes slowly and turned his head from side to side. His neck was already stiff. Hawkeye rubbed it and groaned.

Hope sat up and looked at his face. He looked so much like a little boy just then that it made her heart do a flip. "Why are you in my tent, sleeping in that chair?"

"BJ and Charles came home three sheets to the wind, serenading each other with some stupid song. They wouldn't shut up, so I left." He pointed at the chair he was sitting on. "This seemed as a good a place to sleep as anywhere else. I just wanted to get away from those two idiots."

"Oh Hawkeye, I'm so sorry. Those "idiots" heard Francis and me sing that "stupid song" in the O Club last night. You weren't there, were you?" She really hadn't noticed that he wasn't there with BJ and Charles.

"No Hope, I wasn't there. I decided to go to bed early for a change. Now I wish I hadn't done that."

"Why do you say that? Hawkeye, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone sometimes."

He looked at her and said, "I could have been with you. I would much rather hear you sing than those two."

She laughed. "That bad, huh?"

"Yeah, really, really bad. And they're nowhere as cute as you," Hawkeye told her.

**My intention for this chapter was fun without all the drama of the last few chapters. I hope you enjoyed it. **

**Note- The song**_** A, You're Adorable (**_**music by Sid Lippman, lyrics by Buddy Kaye and Fred Wise**_**) **_**was recorded in 1948 by the singer Perry Como. I thought it would be a fun song for Hope and Father Mulcahy.**

**Thanks so much for reading! More to come!**


	28. Chapter 28 All the Pretty Little Horses

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 28- ALL THE PRETTY LITTLE HORSES**

The next 48 hours brought no time for singing, drinking booze or sleeping. There was a stream of wounded coming in non-stop. Hope was amazed to see how everyone in the unit worked like pieces of a puzzle when put together made an extraordinary picture. Being on crutches made her feel like puzzle piece that didn't quite fit.

As she done before, Hope stayed with the soldiers here weren't as badly wounded as others and talked to them. She even helped the cook make sandwiches to take to the O.R. staff because they couldn't stop to go to the mess tent to eat.

Once she finished helping the cook, Hope walked outside to catch her breath. No one else was outside at that moment. The screech of a jeep's breaks grabbed her attention. She turned to see two soldiers, a sergeant and a private, get out of the jeep carrying a wounded girl who looked to be no more than 4 or 5 years old. The sergeant hopped out of the jeep, picked up the child and called out, "Need some help here!"

Hope hobbled her way to them as fast as she could without falling on her face. When she saw the little girl's condition, she had to make an effort to stay calm and level headed. The girl's left foot was a mass of mangled flesh covered with blood.

"Sergeant, where in God's name did you find her?"

"On the side of the road, about five miles back. She was all alone. It looks like she stepped on a land mine."

"Follow me to Pre-Op," Hope ordered him. Once inside she told him to put the child on a gurney and stay with her. Hope grabbed a surgical mask and covered her mouth with it. She pushed the door that divided Pre-Op from the O.R. with a crutch and went in.

Major Houlihan, who was assisting Hawkeye at the time, looked up to see Hope standing a few feet from her. "What are you doing in here Lieutenant? As long as you're on those crutches, you have no business being in the O.R."

Hope made no apology or explanation as to why she was there .There was no time for that. Instead she told the Major, "Two soldiers just brought in a little girl they found along the side of the road. Her left foot is injured badly. They think she must have stepped on a land mine."

BJ had just finished working on a patient. "I'll go look at her." He turned to the nurse assisting him and asked her to close the incision on the patient. He followed Hope into the Pre-Op.

He had seen and operated on a lot of mutilated bodies since he'd been in Korea, but seeing a child in that condition tore at his heart in a way unlike any other. When he saw the girl, he had to push thoughts of his own daughter out of his mind. BJ shook his head and sighed, "Damn, what was this kid doing wandering around alone? She couldn't be more than 4 or 5 years old."

"Who knows, BJ? Thank God, those two soldiers found her. If they hadn't come along when they did, she'd be dead by now."

* * *

Hope stood looking through the windows of the door that divided Pre-Op from the O.R. Her arms and left leg ached from standing on crutches for so long, but she didn't move. She was so focused on watching the procedure that she jumped when a hand was placed on her shoulder. She turned to see it was Father Mulcahy. He didn't say anything to her; he just stood by and watched with her. Hope struggled with the urge to lean into him and put her head on his shoulder.

It was Mulcahy who spoke first. "It's miracle that those two soldiers found her."

"Yes, I never thought that guardian angels wore olive drab, but I guess they did this time." She sighed and finally leaned into the priest just to relax her arms and leg for a moment. When he tensed up, she moved away from him. "I'm sorry Francis, my arms and left leg ache. I just needed to rest them for a few seconds."

After going non-stop for 48 hours, he decided he was just too tired to think about what holding her meant. If she needed him to hold her, he would. The priest reached over, took the crutch from under her arm and pulled Hope close. She rested her head on his shoulder.

* * *

BJ and Hawkeye were so exhausted they headed straight to the Swamp. BJ was exceptionally quiet. Hawkeye didn't have to ask why, he knew the reason already. Seeing that little girl so badly wounded had affected everyone in the O.R. No one would ever get used to that.

He absent mindedly took the drink Hawkeye offered him. "What's going to happen to that child now, Hawkeye? We can patch up her body, but what happens to her after she leaves here?"

"My brain's too tired to answer that question BJ. It sounds like that would be Father Mulcahy's job."

BJ sighed, "He's got his work cut out for him, then. May God help him."

Hawkeye drained his martini glass and said, "I sure hope so. Father Mulcahy does have "connections" with the Big Guy."

"Hawkeye, I've got to stop drinking this stuff. Look." BJ pointed to someone passing by their tent. "Is it my imagination or is that Hope with a stuffed rabbit under her arm?"

"I sure hope it's a stuffed rabbit. If it was a real one, she'd be squeezing the life out of it. Wonder what's she taking it?"

Being a father, BJ had a pretty good idea of what Hope was going to do with it. "She's probably taking it to Post-Op to give to that little girl. You know, one of the nurses told me that Hope stood outside of O.R. the whole time I was operating on the girl."

"That's a long time to stand on crutches."

"Yep, but from what I heard, she wasn't alone. Father Mulcahy was with her, holding on to her."

"Beej, that's not fair."

"What do you mean?"

"I should be the one holding on to her."

BJ chuckled, "Hawkeye, don't tell me your jealous of the good Father."

Hawkeye looked at his friend and said, "Never in my life would I have thought I would say that I'm jealous of a priest, but I am.

* * *

The tiny girl wasn't hard to find among all the beds filled with grown men in Post-Op. She went over to where the girl lay sleeping and placed Old Fluffy beside her. The Lieutenant sat down in a chair beside the bed and started humming. Then she softly sang a lullaby.

_Hush-a-bye, don't you cry,  
Go to sleep my little baby.  
When you wake you shall have  
All the pretty little horses.  
Black and bays, dapples, grays,  
All the pretty little horses.  
Hush-a-bye, don't you cry,  
Go to sleep my little baby.  
Hush-a-bye, don't you cry,  
Go to sleep my little baby.  
When you wake you shall have  
All the pretty little horses._

As the last word was sung, Hope thought about the baby she lost, the baby she would never get to sing a lullaby to. Her heart and arms ached for that baby. How could she ever forget what might have been?

**Just when you think you can push away memories, something happens to cause them to come back in full force. How will Hope handle them now that the little girl is there?**

**Also, how will Hawkeye handle being jealous of Father Mulcahy? Sounds a little bit like a soap opera doesn't it? But isn't life like a soap opera anyway?**

**Thanks so much for reading! I'm not ashamed to say how much I love reviews!**


	29. Chapter 29 Caught in the Middle

**HOPE'S CALLING-CHAPTER 29- CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE**

**Disclaimer- **Hawkeye, Father Mulcahy and all the other characters of M*A*S*H are not my own. Only Hope and her family are mine.

* * *

There was a whimper and a groan. It sounded faint and far away. The whimper and groan were repeated, a little louder the second time. By the third time, it was very loud and very real. This reached Hope's consciousness and woke her up.

It was the little girl making those sounds. Her eyes were still closed, but it was evident that she was waking up and in a lot of pain. Hope reached over and put her hand over the little girl's and hummed the lullaby she had sung before.

She looked up to see BJ sitting on the edge the bed examining the little girl's foot. The concern for his small patient and lack of sleep showed on his face. He called over Kellye, who was the nurse on duty and gave her instructions about the pain meds the little girl needed.

"BJ, you should be sleeping. What are you doing here?" Hope yawned and brushed her bangs away from her eyes.

"I just wanted to check on her. I can't help but think of my own little girl." He reached over and gently patted the child's hand. "Hope, I could ask you the same thing. What are you doing here? You were asleep when I came into the Post-Op."

"I didn't mean to fall asleep. I just wanted to sit with her while she slept. It's hard to explain. It just seemed like the thing to do. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"BJ, two questions actually. Do you think she'll be able to walk on her left foot? Or even more importantly, do you think she might lose it?"

"I'm not sure. Only time will tell. All we can do is take good care of her and hope and pray for the best."

BJ looked at Hope. "O.K., now I have another question for you. Why don't you go to bed? I saw you sitting there sleeping when I walked in here. You won't be able to move in the morning, if you sleep sitting up. Come on and go lay down in your own bed. Doctor's orders."

"I don't want to leave her BJ." Hope's voice trembled and sounded like she might cry.

The doctor got up and walked over to where Hope was sitting. He grabbed her crutches with one hand and helped her up with the other. "Hope, she will be alright. Kellye is here and she'll look after her. You don't have anything to worry about. Come on, let's go."

"Alright, I don't want to go, but I guess you're right," she sighed.

BJ chuckled softly, "Yeah, trust me, I'm a doctor."

* * *

Hawkeye was standing right outside Post-Op when BJ and Hope came out. He was standing so close to the door that Hope nearly ran smack into him. It surprised her so much that she had to bite her lip to keep from letting a few choice curse words fly out of her mouth.

"Dadgummit Hawkeye, you scared the crap out of me! Why are you lurking around camp in the middle of the night?"

"I'm not lurking. I'm looking. Looking for you."

By this point, BJ felt like a third wheel and really didn't want to hear the rest of their conversation. "Hope, since Hawkeye's here, I'll head back to the Swamp. Good night."

Hope gave BJ a peck on the cheek and a "Good Night."

As Hawkeye watched his friend walk away, he asked her, "Now do I get a peck on the cheek and a "Good Night" or is there more?"

She looked up at him and sighed, "What do you want, Hawkeye?" It was a stupid question because she already knew the answer before he bent down to kiss her. She knew if she tried to pull away from him, she'd fall flat on her back.

As his kiss deepened, he reached around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Hope held on to her crutches thinking it would keep him from holding her too tightly. He pulled one and then the other from under her arms and tossed them on the ground so she had to hold on to him to keep from falling.

Several thoughts paraded through her mind in an endless loop. "I shouldn't, but I want to. No I really shouldn't, but I really want to. Oh damn it! How dumb can I be? Pretty dumb. So what!"

Hawkeye finally broke the lip lock. While Hope gasped for air, he gently tapped on the side of her head. "What was going on in there? I had your lips, but the rest of you had to be a million miles away."

She lied and made an excuse. "You ambushed me. I had to hold on to you for dear life to keep from falling on my behind because you took my crutches away. You're sneaky."

"All in a good cause, Hope. Can't you tell I care for you?" He stroked the side of her face with his thumb. She shivered, clutched at his back and put her head on his chest.

She whispered, "Yes, I guess so. How much and for how long?"

"What? Repeat what you just said."

Hope pulled away from his chest and looked up at him. "I said "yes", but how much and for how long? I've had my heart crushed before, I can't face that again."

Hawkeye pulled her to him and stroked her back. "Who did that to you? "

"Someone like you, but not like you. It's hard to explain, Hawkeye."

"Try me. Please, explain. You have to start someplace. Why not now?"

"In the middle of the night Hawkeye? You need to sleep. You've been going non-stop for 2 days. Wouldn't it be better to wait?"

Despite her reluctance to tell him about Anthony, Hope decided she was willing to do it just to get it over with. Maybe she would be able to gauge the sincerity of his feelings for her by his reaction to her story or maybe he would leave her alone for good then.

The Post-Op door opened and Kellye looked out to see Hope and Hawkeye standing there. "Oh thank goodness, you're here. Hope, please come back in to Post-Op. The little girl is terrified and won't go back to sleep. Would you come back in and sit with her?"

"Sure, Kellye. I'll be right there."

Hope held on to Hawkeye as he reached down for her crutches. Once she had them under her arms, she told him, "I'll talk to you later. Someone needs me more than you do right now and you need to go to sleep anyway."

Hawkeye watched her go inside Post-Op and returned to the Swamp.

* * *

BJ was still awake when Hawkeye came in the Swamp. "Well Hawk, did you talk to Hope like you wanted to or was it just a middle of the night "kiss and run"?

Hawkeye threw a pillow at his friend. "The answer is no to both questions." He sat down on the edge of his bed, took off his boots and tossed them across the room where they landed with a loud thump. "She told me someone needed her more than me."

"What did she mean by that?" BJ asked him.

"Kellye came out of Post-Op and asked Hope to come back in there. I guess the little girl needed comforting."

"Yes, she does. The kid is badly hurt and in pain, doesn't know where she is and is surrounded by strangers. Hope is the first person that she came in contact with when those two soldiers brought her here. Maybe, on a subconscious level she recognizes Hope's voice and it's something familiar to her now." BJ grinned and teased Hawkeye, "Don't worry my friend, I'll always need you."

Hawkeye flopped down on the bed and turned away from BJ. "Oh, shut up and go to sleep Hunnicutt!"

* * *

Hope had spent the rest of the night sitting with the little girl. He back and her neck ached. She slowly came into the mess tent and managed to sit down beside Father Mulcahy without groaning.

He looked at her and said, "Good morning, Hope. Pardon me for saying this, but you look awful."

She flashed him a weak smile. "Gee thanks Francis. And a bright and cheery good morning to you! I've been sitting with our littlest patient all night. Would you take pity on me and get me a cup of mud, please?"

He patted her shoulder as he got up to get her coffee. "Sure, I'll be right back."

While the priest was away from the table, Hawkeye came up to the table with tray in hand and asked her, "Is this seat taken?"

Hope put her hand on the place where Mulcahy had been sitting and looked up at Hawkeye. "Yes, it is."

She saw a look on Hawkeye's face she hadn't seen before; annoyance. Hope bit her lip trying not to grin at the situation. It was like being in elementary school with two little boys that liked the same girl and she happened to be the girl. He went around to the opposite side of the table and sat down across from her. She wished he would start eating so he would be occupied with something other than looking at her.

Francis returned with her coffee. She thanked him and noticed that his fingers touched hers as she took the cup from him. As she took a sip of coffee, she closed her eyes. When she finished and put the cup on the table, Hope opened her eyes to see both men looking at her. Hawkeye's right foot was stretch out and rested against the outside of her left foot. Francis was sitting hip to hip with her. She felt like a specimen under a microscope.

When Colonel Potter sat down at the table, Hope could have jumped up and kissed him. Hawkeye moved his foot away from hers and sat up straighter. Francis "unglued" himself from her hip and scooted a few inches away. "Good morning Colonel!" she said a little too eagerly.

"Well, good morning Lieutenant! How are you?"

"Fine, thank you," she responded. "Trapped by two of your officers and gentlemen!" she thought.

Finally, Hawkeye started paying more attention to his food and Francis engaged the Colonel in conversation about something. She really wasn't paying attention to what was being said. Hope was waiting a decent interval before she excused herself from the table.

When she thought the time was right she stood up to leave only to find that Hawkeye had stealthily put his right foot back against her left foot like before. To keep from stumbling backwards, she flopped back down on the bench, which startled Father Mulcahy and the Colonel. Then she hissed at Hawkeye, "Move your damn foot, Captain!"

He moved it quickly and she made as graceful an exit from the mess tent as an angry woman on crutches could possibly do. The three men at the table watched her hobble away. "Wonder what put a bee in her bonnet?" the Colonel asked.

"I have no idea," the priest answered.

"Me, either," added Hawkeye.

**O.K., I know the end of this chapter is a little silly. Surely, Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy aren't really clueless about the reason Hope was angry when she left the mess tent. I wonder which one of those two are going get an earful from her the next time she sees them?**

**Thanks so much for reading this chapter! I know I've said it before, but I really appreciate reviews!**


	30. Chapter 30 Some Kind of Date

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 30- SOME KIND OF DATE**

**Disclaimer-** Once again I must say the characters of M*A*S*H are sadly not my own. Hope, her family, people from her home town and the despicable Anthony MacMillan are my creations.

* * *

It had been a week since the little girl was brought to the 4077th. Everyone in the camp had fallen in love with her, even Major Winchester who was holding her in his lap while he read the _Boston Globe_ newspaper to her. She didn't understand a word he was reading, but she snuggled up to his chest and fiddled with the buttons on his shirt. He stopped to turn a page and looked down at her. Her smile brought him a bit of joy he had never experienced since he'd been sent to this backend of beyond. He kissed the top of her head and continued reading the paper.

Hawkeye walked into the Swamp singing at the top of his voice. He walked over to where Charles and the little girl were sitting and ruffled her hair. "Hey cutie, is that old man boring you? Come to your uncle Hawkeye." He held out his arms to her.

"Hush Pierce, you're interrupting our reading time." Winchester held her tighter. When she squirmed, he gave up and let go of her. Hawkeye picked her up and danced around the Swamp singing to her while she giggled with every twirl and dip he made.

BJ walked in the Swamp while Hawkeye was waltzing her around. He tapped on Hawkeye's shoulder. "May I cut in? I want to dance with the cutest girl in the room." She reached out for BJ to take her.

BJ took her in his arms and gave her a hug. While he held her, in his mind he was hugging Erin and he thought his heart would break.

The door to the Swamp opened. It was Klinger. "Why didn't someone invite me to this party? No fair, you have the princess all to yourselves." He reached out to take the girl and BJ reluctantly handed her over to him. She gave Klinger an intense stare, studying his face. Then she reached out and patted his nose. He chuckled. "Big, isn't it? You can't miss it."

"Big!" she crowed. Everyone in the Swamp burst out in laughter, including Klinger.

Hope hobbled into the Swamp with Old Fluffy under her arm and sat down at the end of Hawkeye's bed. "There's my girl! I heard the party in here and thought I'd better check it out. Are they treating you right, sweetie?"

The child held out her arms in the nurse's direction and Klinger placed her in Hope's lap. Old Fluffy became the focus of the girl's attention as she cuddled it close.

Hawkeye sat down beside them. He gently put his arm around Hope's waist and was thankful that she didn't try to scoot away from him. If he could be alone with her, maybe she would finally tell him what she wouldn't tell him that night outside of Post-Op. "Hope, go out with me tonight," he whispered in her ear. "Please."

Hope was still a little bit annoyed with his antics in the mess tent a few days before. She was about to turn him down until she saw the pleading look in his eyes. Any response other than "yes" went right out of her head. "Alright, Hawkeye. No games, do you hear me?" she whispered back. He was puzzled by what "no games" meant but he smiled and said rather loudly, "Who wants to babysit tonight? Hope and I have a date."

There was a chorus of "Me!" from the other three men in the Swamp.

"O.K., now that's settled, I'll pick you up at seven." Hawkeye gave Hope a peck on the cheek. She nodded at him. Her heart began racing a mile a minute. What was he expecting from her that night?

* * *

Hawkeye liberated a bottle of scotch and two glasses from the O club and a radio. He returned to the Swamp, singing while he shaved-

_Got a date with an angel  
Got to meet her at seven  
Got a date with an angel  
And I'm on my way to heaven_

_She's so lovely beside me  
And whatever betide me  
Got an angel to guide me  
So I'm on my way to heaven_

_Soon I'll __hear__ bells __ring__ out  
And the choir will sing out  
When the pearly gates swing out  
She'll beckon to me_

_I've been waiting a life time  
For this evening at seven  
Got a date with an angel  
And I'm on my way to heaven_

He patted his face with after shave lotion and put on his Hawaiian shirt. Then he felt ready for his date with Hope. Hawkeye crossed the Swamp and picked up Charles' watch so conveniently lying out on his desk. It read 6:30. Thirty more minutes! He was glad his roommates were elsewhere so they couldn't see him fidget and pace around the Swamp.

* * *

Hope decided the only outfit she had that she considered "date worthy" was the skirt and blouse that Klinger had given her. She washed her face, combed her light brown hair and pushed it behind her ears using two tortoiseshell hair combs to keep it in place. Then she slipped on the skirt and blouse. The finishing touch was a little lipstick.

"Well, I'm as ready as I'll ever be." Hope sat on the edge of the bed and waited. The longer she waited, the more nervous she became. Her legs started shaking so bad that when there was a knock on the door it was all she could do to grab her crutches and make her way across the tent. "I'm coming, hang on a minute!" she called out.

The person she was expecting to see when she opened the door was not Francis Mulcahy, but there he stood. "Hi Francis, what brings you here?"

"Hi Hope, I was wondering if you were free to discuss…" He noticed that she was dressed in the same clothes she had worn to the first Sunday Service after she arrived at the 4077TH. His eyes lit up and he told her, "Uh, you look nice this evening."

"Thanks, Hawkeye asked me out. What was it you wanted to discuss?"

The light went out of his eyes, he looked down at the ground and then back at Hope. "It can wait until tomorrow."

"O.K., Francis. After breakfast, then?"

"Yes, yes, that's fine. I'll see you in the morning." He turned and walked away from her, both disappointed that he couldn't be with her and jealous of Hawkeye because he could.

Francis passed Hawkeye who was carrying a bottle, two glasses and a radio. He nodded at the surgeon and passed by without a word.

* * *

Hope was standing at the open door of the tent, watching one man walk away and the other one walking towards her. When she saw Hawkeye wearing the Hawaiian shirt, she smiled. Somehow, it just seemed right for him.

"Hi Hawkeye."

He kissed her on the cheek and then studied her face. With her hair pulled back, her green eyes looked even bigger than they had before. They were the first thing he'd noticed about her the day she arrived at camp. And once again he thought he could drown in those eyes.

Hope cleared her throat. "Um, Hawkeye? Are you going to stand there all night?"

He came back down to Earth. "Oh, I'm sorry. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes and where exactly are we going?" she asked.

"I thought we'd go to supplies. We'll have some privacy there."

The mention of that particular destination and the word "privacy" set off alarm bells in her head. Hope's heart took off racing and her hands started shaking so hard it made it difficult to hold on to her crutches.

She swallowed hard and squeaked out, "O.K."

When they got there, Hawkeye put a coat hanger, the symbol for "Go away. Don't come in, etc." on the door knob. If Hope's heart had been racing before, it went into overdrive. What was he up to?

He led her over to the stack of mattresses on the floor and helped her sit down. Then he switched on the radio and was glad to hear that soft music was playing on it. He poured drinks for himself and Hope. Hawkeye sat down next to her and handed her a drink. She took a sip and slowly savored it's warmth as it slid down her throat. "A little liquid courage," she thought.

He pulled her close and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Hope, why are you so nervous? I can see your heart racing in your chest."

"I, uh, wonder why you picked this place for our date. What do you have in mind?" Her question came out in one long, shaky breath.

It dawned on him what she meant. "Oh Hope, don't worry. It's not what you think. I'm not here to "play games". I would never push you to do something you don't want to do. I just wanted us to have privacy so you would feel free to tell me what you wouldn't tell me the other night."

She sighed with relief and took another sip of scotch. Hope dreaded repeating the story of her affair with Anthony and the subsequent pregnancy and miscarriage. "Well, I'll begin at the beginning. After high school, before the Army, I started seeing Anthony MacMillan. We're from the same little town. He was seven years older than me, very handsome and an up and coming attorney who had just joined a big Atlanta law firm. When he asked me out, I was very flattered. My experience with guys was limited to a couple of dates in high school. I was very sheltered and naïve."

Hope exhaled a long, shaky breath and looked down at her hands. Hawkeye whispered, "Go on. It's alright, take your time. Don't be afraid."

Hope looked up at him. Why was it so much harder to tell this to Hawkeye than to Francis? She took a deep breath and continued. "For the first couple of dates, he took me to nice restaurants in Atlanta and then we'd go dancing. He was charming and I felt like a princess. But then things changed, he wanted more and I gave in. I thought it was the only way to keep him, the only way he'd want me. This went on for about six months, the whole time he failed to inform of one "small" thing."

She stopped and downed a rather large swallow of scotch. If she kept this up, Hope knew she'd either be asleep or drunk very soon, so she put the glass down.

"Hope, what was the one "small" thing?"

"It was the fact that he was engaged to an Atlanta socialite and he had every intention of dropping me like a hot rock the minute he married her. He wanted the money and connections his fiancée would bring to their marriage. I had nothing to offer him other than a distraction; someone to sleep with. However, I soon found out that I was about to give him more." She paused, how she hated telling him the next part!

"A few days before his wedding, he finally told me about his fiancée. That tore me apart. Then I told him about him I was pregnant with his baby. Anthony MacMillan showed his true colors that day. I finally realized what a manipulative snake he was when he told me in so many words, "Tough luck kid, you're on your own." Telling what her mother would call "the Reader's Digest condensed version" of the story, she skipped over the part about Doc Williams, going away, having the baby and giving it up for adoption and cut to the heartbreaking part.

Hope sobbed. "What Anthony called my "problem" went away soon enough. I had a miscarriage."

She let go and started crying. Hawkeye held her tighter, trying to comfort her. Now he understood why she was afraid to have a serious relationship with him. He also realized why she put on a happy, flirty persona when she arrived at the 4077th. Hope was hiding a deep heartache that she wanted to push away from her mind and keep hidden from others. He understood about hiding his true feelings, he did it all the time. Except this time, he didn't want to hide his feelings for this woman.

Women had pursued him, but he ran away if they wanted a serious relationship. Now, for some reason he didn't completely understand, he wanted to be pursued by Hope. She seemed to put herself just beyond his reach. At least now, he knew why she was so afraid of being hurt again.

"Hope you said I was like him, but not like him. What do you mean?"

She looked up at Hawkeye. "Oh, maybe I was wrong. Does it really matter?"

He lifted her face and looked into her eyes. "Is does to me. I don't want you to ever think I'm anything like that rat."

Suddenly she grinned. "Snake? Scoundrel? Swine?"

Hawkeye started laughing and said," S.O.B.?"

Hope joined his laughter and fell back on the mattress."Yes, that's it. Don't ever be anything like that S.O.B.!"

He lay down beside her, kissed her forehead and stroked her face. Her breathing had slowed down. He her looked at her eyes and saw they were closed. She was asleep. Hawkeye knew she had finally relaxed because she had told him about her past, but he chuckled and whispered in her ear, "Hope Jones, you are some kind of date. Can't hold your liquor."

* * *

Rank has its privileges and Colonel Potter pulled rank so he could babysit the little girl that evening. Besides he was a grandfather, too. That had to count for something when it came to babysitting. She was tucked in his lap, while he read Zane Grey's _Riders of the Purple Sage_ to her softly and they both munched on chocolate chip cookies, the last two from a batch that his wife had sent to him a few months back. They weren't too stale and any homemade cookie was better than no cookie at all.

"Yum, those cookies are good!" he told her.

She looked up at him with her dark eyes and said, "Yum, good."

He laughed and hugged her close. She rubbed her eyes. "Are you getting sleepy, sweetie pie?"

She answered him with a yawn and he rocked her back and forth in his lap until she was asleep. A feeling of contentment and longing for home and his family washed over him. No one more than Sherman T. Potter wanted this stupid war to be over so he could be with his loved ones!

That contentment was short lived when he heard the sound of ambulances arriving in the compound. He got up with the girl in his arms and left his tent looking for someone who could take her from him so he could see about the wounded soldiers that had just arrived. He spotted Klinger and called him over. "I know Pierce and Lieutenant Jones are on a date. Go find them." He handed the sleeping child over to Klinger." Give the girl to the Lieutenant and tell the doctor to get his rear end in gear and come and help with these new arrivals."

"Yes sir, right away." Klinger took off to the one place he was pretty sure Hawkeye and Hope would be. When he knocked on the door to the supply room, he was greeted by a loudly whispered "Go away!"

" Hawkeye, we got wounded. Colonel Potter sent me to get you and give the little girl to Hope. Go on, I'll make sure they get to Hope's tent."

Hawkeye gently shook Hope's shoulder. "Wake up sleeping beauty. We got company, I gotta go." She opened one eye and groaned. "I'm sorry Hawkeye, I passed out on you."

He kissed her cheek. "No more booze for you. I've really got to go. Colonel Potter needs me. Klinger will help you and the little one get back to your tent."

She opened her other eye, sat up and scooted off the bed. "Bye Hawkeye, thanks for the date."

He whispered in her ear, "Anytime Hope, I lo… I'll see you later."

* * *

**Note- The music and lyrics for **_**Got a Date with an Angel**_ **are by ****Clifford Grey, Sonnie Miller, Jack Waler & Joseph Tunbridge. It was recorded in 1934 by Al Bowley.**

**Now Hope has told Hawkeye her story, even though it was a condensed version. That was a relief for her, but it still doesn't ease her heartache about losing her baby.**

**Poor Colonel Potter! His time to be a substitute grandfather and babysitter didn't last too long. Maybe he'll get another chance later.**

**And what about Father Mulcahy? Hope was all dressed up and it wasn't for him. :(**

**Thank you so much for your support Kind Readers!**


	31. Chapter 31 Distractions

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 31- DISTRACTIONS**

**The disclaimer- **Hawkeye, Francis and the rest of the M*A*S*H are definitely not my own. Hope and her family and friends in Georgia are my creation.

* * *

Once again, it was movie night at the 4077th. Most of the time, it was a welcome distraction; even if the movie was a real turkey. This time, there was an added distraction in the form of the unit's littlest patient. She was passed around more than the popcorn. Almost every adult present had held her in their laps at least once, if not several times. Several of them had shown her the fine art of tossing popcorn in the air and catching it with her mouth. She mastered it quickly, much to everyone's delight.

BJ was the most reluctant to let her go when someone else wanted to hold her. And nobody took the girl from Colonel Potter until he was ready to hand her over!

Hope was sandwiched between Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy on a bench in the back of the mess tent that also served as a theatre that night. Hawkeye rested his right hand on her left knee. On the other side, Francis sat with his left knee firmly planted against her right leg. For some reason, this arrangement didn't bother Hope like the day she felt trapped between the two men in the mess tent. It was probably because at that moment the little girl in her lap was the focus of her attention.

Francis was far more interested in watching Hope with the child than the movie. If someone had asked him the title of the movie, he couldn't have named it to save his life

Hawkeye had one eye on the movie and the other one on Hope. He would have put his arm around her waist if she hadn't been squeezed in so tight between him and Father Mulcahy. His thoughts strayed to what his life might be like once he was back home in Maine. For the first time he contemplated being married to Hope and having a family with her.

And then he wondered, "Why Hope of all the women he'd known? "He'd come close once before, but it wasn't meant to be. Hawkeye pushed the thought out of his head, plenty of time to think about it later.

Because Hope had been preoccupied with the little girl, she didn't realize the movie was over until Klinger turned on the lights in the mess tent. Francis took the little girl from her, so she would be able to get her crutches from under the bench and stand up.

Hawkeye followed Hope and Father Mulcahy outside. He touched her shoulder and she turned to face him. "Hope, come back to the Swamp with me?"

She hesitated with her answer. Francis was standing on the other side of her, holding the little girl. It was obvious he wanted Hope to go with him.

"Give me a half an hour?"

"Sure Hope, see you then."

As she and Francis walked toward Post-op to put the now sleeping girl to bed, he said to her, "You know this child can't stay with us much longer. Although, no one has come looking for her, she needs to be somewhere that she can be taken care of for the long term."

"I know Francis, I know. It's getting hard to let her go. She's become pretty special to me. I think you know why."

"Yes Hope, I know exactly why you've become so attached to her. Someday you'll have a child of your own. Have a little faith."

She looked into his beautiful blue eyes and saw something there she didn't quite understand and it puzzled her. It was something to ponder later. She smiled at him and said, "Seems like I've heard that before, just recently from a wise clergyman."

He smiled and said, "I believe you have."

"My God, he's so cute, I could just want to hug and kiss him!" Hope thought. Then a more serious thought crossed her mind that scared her. "I think I could do it. I really could."

By that time, they had reached Post-Op. Hope reached over and kissed the little girl on the forehead and then Francis put the child in the bed closest to the nurse's station.

"Well Francis, I've gotta go. I promised Hawkeye I would come by the Swamp. See you in the morning."

"Good night Hope." As he watched her move away from him he said a silent prayer, "God help me to figure out what to do about her. And please make it soon."

* * *

Hawkeye was not alone in the Swamp. Both BJ and Charles were there. Maybe he could persuade Hope that they should go to her tent.

"Hawkeye? Come in Hawkeye!" BJ waved his hand in front of his friend's face trying to get his attention.

"Huh? Sorry, my mind was someplace else."

"I believe I know exactly where it was," Major Winchester chimed in. "With a certain Lieutenant we all know and you seem to … dare I say… love."

Hawkeye shrugged at Charles' suggestion.

BJ chuckled and said, "Oh come on, my friend. Something's going on with you. You are definitely not yourself. At a matter of fact, you've become downright boring to be around."

Hope's knock on the door to the Swamp saved Hawkeye from making a four-letter word reply to BJ's teasing. He opened the door and went outside. "Hi. It's kinda of crowded in there. Could we go to your place?"

"Sure, I guess so," she responded.

No sooner than they had stepped inside Hope's tent, Hawkeye led her over to her bed. Her eyes grew wide and she sputtered, "Wait a minute!"

"No, no. It's not what you think. It's a lot easier to hold you without those crutches and do you really want to stand on one foot?"

"Uh, no. Guess not."

She lay down. He walked around to the other side of the bed and joined her. He turned on his side and pulled her over to face him. "Now, isn't this better?" Hawkeye asked her.

"Yes, it's more comfortable." She snuggled against his chest.

"Don't you go to sleep on me this time, Hope Jones."

"O.k., I won't. I haven't had any liquor tonight." She reached up and kissed him lightly on the lips.

He stroked her face with his fingertips. "Listen, about what you told me the other night, I don't feel any differently about you than I did before."

"And how do you feel about me Hawkeye? I'm not sure what you mean."

He sighed and lifted her chin so he could look her in the eyes. "I think I'm in love with you Hope. I don't understand why, but that's how I feel."

Then Hope said something simple and stupid. "Oh!"

"Just oh?"

She stammered, "I, uh, I don't know what to say. You took me by surprise. Maybe it's because of something I heard about you."

Hawkeye kissed her ear and whispered, "And what is that?"

She flopped down on her back and rubbed her face with her hands. "O.K., here goes. You have a reputation as a "skirt chaser" and that you're interested in me because I'm new; the "flavor of the month".

He knew it was true, or at least it had been. What was he going to say to her?

Hawkeye pulled back. "Hope you may be new here, but you're more to me than "flavor of the month". Does everything have to be explained away?"

She looked up at him and said, "After my previous experience, don't you think I have a right to protect myself?"

"Don't build a wall around yourself. It doesn't protect you; it just shuts other people out. I should know ,I've done it enough times in my life. Look, I won't push you. All I ask is that you take the time to get to know me better."

"Alright Hawkeye, I can do that." She snuggled back against his chest.

He pulled her in closer to him. "That's a good beginning."

* * *

The phone was ringing; and it wouldn't stop. Its persistence was annoying. Klinger hoped he was dreaming, but no such luck; it just kept on ringing.

"I give up. I'm coming. I'm coming. Keep your shirt on!" He got out of bed and crossed the office to answer the phone. Klinger snatched up the receiver and barked "MASH 4077!"

"Telegram for Lieutenant Hope Jones," the voice on the other end told him.

Klinger dug around in the desk drawer for paper and pencil. Once he found them, he told the voice, "Go ahead and read it out to me."

Once he had the message written down, he thanked the person on the other end of the line and hung up the receiver. Even though it was four thirty in the morning, he took the message to Hope right away.

She was already awake before Klinger had knocked on the door to her tent. It had been a sleepless night. She had Hawkeye, Francis and the little girl on her mind.

Hope sat up in the bed and called out, "Who is it?"

"It's Max," he answered. "You've got a telegram from a Dr. Sam Williams."

Hearing Doc Williams' name set her heart racing. Something was wrong at home.

"Come in Max," she called out.

He came in the tent and handed her the message.

"Sit down a minute, if you don't mind. I don't really want to be alone while I read this." She pointed at the chair next to her bed and he sat down.

_Hope, I want to let you know that your dad had a mild heart attack yesterday. He will be alright if he takes it easy and does what I tell him to. Will let you know if anything changes. Just keep him in your prayers. _

_Affectionately, Doc Williams_

Hope folded the telegram and put it in her shirt pocket. "Thanks Max. I'm so sorry that you had to get up so early to bring me this."

"It's o.k. Hope. Just part of my job. I guess I better go now and let you get back to sleep."

"Max, I couldn't go back to sleep if I wanted to. I've been awake most of the night. Got a lot on my mind."

Klinger noticed that she was about to cry. "Look, since we're both up, why don't we find something to do. How about a card game? I've got a deck of cards in my office. How does that sound?"

"Sure, that sounds good to me, as long as we don't play anything harder than "Go Fish". That's about all my tired brain can handle right now."

Klinger chuckled, "Yeah, I know what you mean."

* * *

Shortly after six that morning, Colonel Potter heard, "Got any threes? Nope. Go Fish!" as he walked past the office on his way to the mess tent for a cup of coffee. He was expecting to hear his company clerk snoring, not playing card games with a woman at that time of the morning.

"What in the world are you two doing playing "Go Fish" at six in the a.m.?" he asked them as he entered the office.

"Oh good morning Colonel, I had to answer the phone at four thirty to take a telegram message from home for Hope. After that, neither one of us could go back to sleep, so here we are playing cards," Klinger answered him.

A telegram from home could mean good or bad news for someone under his command. Colonel Potter asked Hope, "What's going on back home, Lieutenant?"

She pulled the message out of her pocket and showed it to him. He read it and handed it back to her. "I can see why you couldn't sleep after you go this. Your dad is going to be fine, if he'll do what his doctor tells him to do."

Hope sighed, "That's just it. My daddy is pretty bull headed and very dedicated to his work as a pastor. The word "stop" is not in his vocabulary. I just pray he uses some of the common sense the good Lord gave him."

Colonel Potter said,"Me, too. Come on you two; let's go get what passes for coffee around her. By the way, who was winning the game?"

Klinger laughed and said, "The Lieutenant. I'm sure glad we weren't playing for money!"

* * *

Father Mulcahy was already seated at a table when the three of them came in the mess tent. Colonel Potter and Klinger went to get coffee. Hope sat down across from him. "Hey Francis, I see I'm not the only early bird this morning. I've been awake most of the night. Too much on my mind, I guess."

He looked up at her from his cup of coffee. "Yes, it was the same way for me. Too much rolling around up here." He tapped on the side of his head.

Hope smiled at him and thought, "Gosh! He's cute. Oops! I had thought that last night. Must think about something else." Hope was thankful, albeit a little troubled by this thought about Francis. It was a little distraction from the news from home. However, the telegram from Doc Williams still weighed heavily in the back of her mind. She pulled the telegram out of her pocket and said, "I received this telegram from home about four thirty this morning."

Francis took it from her, read it and handed it back to her. "Oh Hope, I'm sorry. I'll certainly keep your dad in my prayers." He patted Hope's hand and slowly pulled away. A shiver ran down her spine. What was wrong with her? Two men? This was certain recipe for heartache for someone, perhaps all three of them.

Hawkeye stood at entrance to the mess tent. He had seen Father Mulcahy touch Hope's hand and slowly pull it away. What the hell was going on between those two?

"Are you going to stand there like a statue all morning?" He felt a poke in his back and turned to see BJ standing behind him. He started moving toward the chow line.

"Sorry, Beej. Moving slow today."

"Yeah, I should say so. You are in another world again. What gives?" BJ asked him.

Hawkeye shrugged and muttered, "Don't know."

"Yes, you do Hawk. Just make sure that you don't let this put you off your game in surgery. And what are you going to do when Hope is mobile again and working in O.R.? Think about it."

When Hawkeye sat down next to Hope, he noticed a piece of paper stick half way out of her pocket. He pointed at it and asked her, "What's that?" She looked up at him and he could see a worried look in her eyes.

Without saying a word, she pulled the paper out and handed it to him. He read it and handed it back to her. Now he understood why the priest had patted her hand. Or at least he thought he did. He thought about his own dad and understood her concern. He put his arm around her and whispered, "It'll be o.k."

"I sure hope so Hawkeye," she sighed.

**The news from home is unsettling for Hope. She already had enough to worry about right there at the 4077****th****. **

**Now Hawkeye has told her he loves her and she is reluctant to believe him. How can he prove his sincerity to her?**

**Hope is beginning to see Francis Mulcahy as a man, not just a priest. Things are getting downright complicated for all parties concerned!**

**Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate your support.**


	32. Chapter 32 Walking Away

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 32- WALKING AWAY**

**Disclaimer- **As I've stated before, the characters of M*A*S*H are not my own. Hope and her family are my creations.

* * *

Mail call was a definite morale booster, but Klinger dreaded it when someone didn't receive any mail. They blamed him, even though he had no control over whether the folks at home wrote to their family members serving in Korea. He sure was glad almost everyone got something in the mail this time.

Hope seemed to have hit the jackpot. She had a letter, a magazine and a very large package. He brought it to her while she was having lunch in the mess tent. She was sitting with Father Mulcahy, Major Houlihan and Colonel Potter. When everyone else in the mess tent saw the package, they gravitated to her table.

Max tapped on the box. "You might as well open it now. Everyone is dying to know what you got in such a big box."

"O.K., would you do the honors and open it for me?"

"Sure thing." He ripped open the flaps of the box. Hope stood up and leaned against the table to look at what was inside. She didn't notice that Francis had his hand out ready to catch if she lost her balance. However, both Colonel Potter and Major Houlihan noticed and looked at each other with raised eyebrows

A quilt was wrapped around the other contents of the box. Hope recognized it as the one her grandmother had made for her the year she graduated from high school. She removed the other items- three tins of cookies, two phonograph records, a dress, a small box and a note. Hope opened the note and read it out loud.

_Dear Hope,_

_Here are the cookies you asked for, baked by the ladies of the church. I hope there will be enough to go around for everybody there with you. Your Grandmother wanted you to have the quilt. She wanted you to remember all the times she tucked you in at night with a hug and a kiss._

Hope's eyes misted and she had to clear her throat before she could continue.

_When you left home for Fort McClellan, you were in such a hurry that you didn't take much with you in the way of clothes. I thought you might like to have one of your favorite dresses. Knowing you like I do, you probably haven't been wearing anything but uniforms because you hate to go clothes shopping. _

Hope wished she hadn't read that part out loud, but it was too late. She wondered if her mother knew the real reason for her haste in joining the Army.

_Tommy had me include the little box. He said you'd understand what it meant._

_Take care of yourself. Your daddy and sisters send their love. We miss you._

_Love,_

_Mama_

_P.S. I almost forgot to include the records you asked for. Thank your sisters for remembering that you wanted them._

Hope opened the box from Tommy and smiled. He had tucked a small piece of paper on the inside of the lid.

_Dear Cousin here's a little bit of home. Love, Tommy_

She smiled and sat the open box on the table.

"He sent you dirt?" Major Houlihan asked.

"Major it's not just any dirt, it's Georgia red clay. Tommy sent me a little bit of home. It's priceless to me." Hope put the lid back on the cookies were a welcome treat, but she really didn't care if she got to eat a one of them. The quilt and the contents of that small box were what she needed. They meant home to her.

Hope looked over at Colonel Potter and he appeared to understand that small box of dirt's meaning to her. He nodded at her and smiled.

* * *

If there was such a thing as "cookie radar", Hawkeye and BJ seemed to have it. The two of them had been in the Swamp but had the sudden urge to go to the mess tent and were sure that it was not because of the food served there. They arrived just in time to see one of the tins of cookies being passed around among everyone in the mess tent.

Hawkeye looked around the tent and asked, "Where did these come from?"

Hope saw him standing on the opposite end of the mess tent with BJ. She couldn't help but laugh when she saw Hawkeye standing there with a mouth full of cookie. He looked like a really tall little boy.

She waved at him to get his attention. He made his way over to her. Hope reached up and brushed away crumbs from the corner of his mouth. He resisted the urge to kiss her fingertips.

"They came all the way from Between, Georgia," Hope told him.

"Between where in Georgia? You're not making any sense." Hawkeye appeared to be genuinely puzzled.

Hope chuckled. "I'm from Between. It's a very small town and it's exactly between two places; the city of Atlanta and the town of Athens, where the University of Georgia is located."

He grinned at her. "Well, I must say they do good work in Between, Georgia and I don't just mean the cookies."

Hope looked up at him and batted her eyelashes. "Why sir, I don't know what you mean," she drawled out in Scarlett O'Hara fashion.

"Ah, there's the flirt I fell in love with!" Hawkeye thought.

Someone cleared their throat. Hope realized it was Francis, sitting right there watching them. She looked at him apologetically. "I'm sorry I guess I should sit back down now."

"Yes, Hope. I wouldn't want you to lose your balance and fall." She sat back down next to Francis and Hawkeye sat next to her. Here she was again, stuck between the two men. It did seem like the three of them were joined at the hip.

BJ came up to the table and sat down. "Those cookies sure are good. I see two more tins of them." He pointed at the stack of tins on the table.

Hope put her hand on them protectively, but she was smiling when she said, "Don't get any ideas BJ!"

"You want them all to yourself?" he teased.

"Good Lord, no! If I ate all of them I'd be sick as a dog and big as a house." She laughed." I'd like to save one tin for everyone to have later and take one to Post-op for the patients."

"Well, I'm going over to Post-Op to take a look at our little patient's foot. Do you want to go over there with me and take a tin of cookies with you?"

"Yes, I would." Hope asked Francis to take that other tin of cookies to Max and ask him to put it under lock and key and Hawkeye took take the other things she had received in the package to her tent. Both of them looked disappointed that she had not asked them to go with her to Post-Op.

* * *

She felt sort of guilty about it, but she was also glad to be away from them for a few minutes. As Hope and BJ headed for Post-Op, she said, "I'm glad to have a few minutes away from those two."

"Why is that? "

"I sort of feel like they're competing for my attention. Hawkeye has told me how he feels, but I don't understand Francis' interest in me."

BJ stopped Hope before they went into Post-Op. "Look Hope, just because Father Mulcahy is a priest, it doesn't stop him from being a man."

"I don't think I've done anything to encourage his interest in me."

"You don't have to do anything. It's just the way we men are." He smiled at her. "If I weren't married and passionately in love with my wife, I'd be interested in you. "

Hope looked up at him in surprise. "You're kidding me."

"No Hope, I'm not kidding. Come on, let's go inside and see our littlest patient."

Once inside, they found Major Winchester sitting with the little girl in his lap. He was on duty, but there were few patients in Post-Op then.

"Would you look at that?" BJ pointed at the Major and the little girl. "I have never seen him that content and happy since he's been here. Kids have a way of doing that to adults." Oh God, how he missed his own little girl!

Hope's heart ached for the baby that she had carried in her body but would never hold in her arms. She swallowed hard to keep a sob from escaping her lips.

Winchester looked up and saw BJ and Hope standing there. He did not want to let the little girl go. "What is it Hunnicutt? She's doing just fine."

"Charles, I am her doctor. I've come to take a look at her foot. Hope has brought a tin of cookies her mother sent from home for the patients. Would you please take care of making sure the patients get some of them?"

"Oh, alright. Now I've been reduced to serving cookies," he muttered and reluctantly handed her over to BJ. He got up from the chair. Hope sat down and took the girl from BJ.

She kissed the little girl's head. "Hello sweetie pie. Dr. BJ is going to take a look at your foot." Hope knew the girl didn't understand a word she said to her, but she didn't care. She just wanted the child to be comfortable during the examination.

BJ removed the bandage from the child's foot. Both he and Hope were surprised at how good it looked considering the damage the land mine had done to it.

"Wow BJ, you do good work!" Hope told him. "It's a miracle that she still has her foot."

"Yes it is. But I'm no miracle worker."

"BJ, let's just say you had a little help from a higher power." She looked heavenward. It reminded him of the way Father Mulcahy would have responded to what he'd just said. No wonder the priest was interested in her.

"Hope, she won't be able to run, but she'll be able to walk, albeit with a slight limp. Put her down and let's see her walk."

He knelt down, held out his arms and called the little girl over to him. Her first few steps were hesitant, but then she limped hurriedly to him. He held her close and cried silently.

Hawkeye and Francis stood at the entrance to Post-Op watching this scene unfold. Hope and BJ looked like two parents watching their child take her first steps.

Francis Mulcahy wondered what it would be like to know the joy of watching a little girl grow; his own daughter with Hope as her mother. Why had he been called to a celibate life?

Hawkeye saw the true joy on Hope's face as she watched the little girl limp towards BJ, but also saw the sadness in her eyes. She had wanted to give life to her baby no matter what the circumstances of its conception. He saw the person she hid beneath her funny, flirty exterior and he loved both the person she showed to the world and the one she kept hidden.

"O.K., Doctor Hunnicutt, that's one patient you've taken care of. What about me? When do I get this cast off?" Hope pointed at her right foot. "It's been almost six weeks."

He laughed. "Hope, the impatient patient."

"Yes, that's me. I cannot tell a lie, at least not to my doctor."

"Alright Hope, come on. I'll take off the cast and x-ray the ankle. If it looks good, you're free to hop, skip and jump to your heart's delight. If it doesn't look like it's healed sufficiently, back into another cast you go for another week. Is that a deal?"

"Yep, that's a deal."

* * *

An hour later, Hope walked across the compound to her tent. How free she felt just to be able to walk on her own two feet!

"Now, I can dance with you. I've been waiting weeks to for this chance." Hope turned around to see Hawkeye smiling at her. She looked up at him and said, "Now?"

He grabbed her waist and pulled her closed to him. "Why not?"

"Well for one thing, we're out in the middle of the compound and the other thing is we have no music," Hope countered.

Hawkeye shook his head. "Those excuses won't work. Number one, we can go to the Swamp. No one is there right now. And two, I saw those records you got today and Charles has a record player. Now what do you say to that?"

Hope was so glad to be able to get around without crutches that she didn't give it a second thought. She said "yes". She'd celebrate her freedom by dancing with him.

"Wait right here, Hawkeye. I'll get the records." She walked into the VIP tent that had been her quarters for almost the entire time she'd been at the 4077th. Now that the cast was off her foot, it would be time to move back to the nurse's tent. She would miss having a place all to herself.

When she picked up the records from the bed, she noticed the letter that had come in the mail. Hope had completely forgotten about it with all that had happened that day. She took it and shoved it in her shirt pocket to read later.

Hope joined Hawkeye and they went to the Swamp. He opened Major Winchester's record player and put on the Frank Sinatra record. He pulled Hope close to him and slowly began to dance with her.

The song that was playing was perfect.

_How glad the many millions of Annabelles and Lillians  
Would be to capture me  
But you had such persistence, you wore down my resistance  
I fell and it was swell_

_I'm your big and brave and handsome Romeo_  
_How I won you I shall never never know_  
_It's not that you're attractive_  
_But, oh, my heart grew active_  
_When you came into view_

_I've got a crush on you, sweetie pie  
All the day and night-time give me sigh  
I never had the least notion that  
I could fall with so much emotion_

_Could you coo, could you care_  
_For a cunning cottage we could share_  
_The world will pardon my mush_  
_'Cause I have got a crush on you_

_Could you coo, could you care_  
_For a cunning cottage_  
_That we could share_  
_The world will pardon my mush_  
_'Cause I have got a crush, my baby, on you_

Hawkeye was about to reach down and kiss Hope when someone knocked on the door. "Damn!" he whispered in her ear. "Go away, we don't want any. Whatever it is!" he yelled at the person on the other side of the door.

"Hawkeye, is Hope in there? I need to see her right now!" Father Mulcahy came in without waiting for an invitation. He held the little girl on his hip. It was obvious that she had been crying; her little face was wet with tears and she had the hiccups.

Hope backed away from Hawkeye and took the child from Mulcahy. She kissed her and held her close. The little girl snuggled against Hope's chest. "What happened? She was fine when I left Post-Op."

"A little while after you went with BJ to have your foot x-rayed, she realized you weren't there anymore. No one could comfort her. She wanted you." He sounded annoyed with Hope.

Hope was beginning to feel guilty, but why? There were plenty of people around to take care of the little girl and most of the time she was just fine with anyone paying her attention. It was true that a special bond had formed between her and the child, but now it seemed she didn't want Hope to be out of her sight.

"I'm sorry, so sorry I wasn't there for you, little princess." Hope hugged her tightly.

Francis sat down beside Hope, not caring that Hawkeye was there. "Hope you know that she can't stay here much longer. She is able to walk now and I think she senses something is about to change. That may be why she became so frantic when she couldn't see you. She's gotten very attached to you. If her family can't be located, she will have to go St. Teresa's where they can take care of her. She can't stay here forever."

"I know. We've discussed this before." Hope stood up and walked out of the Swamp still holding the little girl in her arms.

"Hope, wait!" Hawkeye called out to her. She continued to walk away and he started to follow her. Father Mulcahy held him back. "Don't Hawkeye. Let her go right now. She probably feels like she's losing …"

"Another baby." Hawkeye finished the priest's sentence. "Hope told me about the miscarriage."

**The song, **_**I've Got a Crush on You, **_**was written by George and Ira Gershwin in 1927. It was recorded by Frank Sinatra in 1947. **

**Between is a real town in the state of Georgia. This writer has never been there, but I couldn't resist having Hope say she was from Between.**

**Now both Hope and the little girl are mobile, which means there are changes coming for both of them.**

**Thank you dear Readers for your support!**


	33. Chapter 33 So Easy to Love

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 33- SO EASY TO LOVE**

**Disclaimer- **Hawkeye, Father Mulcahy and all the other characters of M*A*S*H are sadly not my creation. Only Hope and her family are my own.

* * *

It was a difficult task, but it had to be done. Father Mulcahy had been making inquiries concerning the little girl almost from the time she had arrived at the 4077th. So far, he had no success in finding out anything about her or her family. Only God knew, quite literally, anything about her. He prayed he'd get an answer soon and he also prayed that somehow Hope would be able to accept the fact the time had come for the little girl to leave them and go somewhere permanent.

Hope loved the child. There was no doubt about that. They were together practically all the time, but usually not alone. Some other member of the unit was with them; enlisted, officers, men or women, it really didn't matter. Everyone wanted to be with the little girl. She seemed to bring out the best in that group of war weary, homesick adults. It had also given Hope an opportunity to get to know the people that she worked with, especially the nurses.

At meal times, Hope sat with the nurses in the mess tent instead of sitting with the men as she had done before. The change that came over Major Houlihan when she held the little girl surprised Hope. The head nurse's face softened and her eyes glowed. There was warmth that she seldom showed to other people. "Maybe we're all hiding our true selves under a façade," Hope thought.

Would you look over there?" Klinger pointed at the table where the nurses and the little girl sat. The sound of the women's laughter filled the mess tent.

"That little girl brings out the best in everyone here, especially the nurses. The sound of their laughter is a blessing," Father Mulcahy responded.

Colonel Potter agreed with him. "It's one sound we don't get enough of around here."

"Yes, it' true." Hawkeye was watching Hope's face. He saw the light in her eyes and knew it could fade as quickly as it came. He'd seen it happen before.

"As wonderful as this is, it's not going to last very much longer is it, Father?" Major Winchester observed.

Mulcahy sighed and answered, "You're right. Things will soon return to what passes for normal around here."

"I'll miss her. That little girl has made this hell- hole a little more bearable, "BJ added.

* * *

The little girl had been sitting in Major Houlihan's lap for a long while, but decided it was time to go visiting. She made her way over to where the men were sitting. Major Winchester felt a pat on his leg and looked down into the beautiful dark eyes of the little girl. "Hello little one." He picked her up and put her in his lap. She was content with him for a few minutes and then decided to go to Colonel Potter, who was more than happy to assume the role of substitute grandfather. He cuddled her and spoke to her in a low, soft voice.

As she made her circuit of the table, Klinger and his nose were a source of entertainment for her. He didn't mind it one bit. She was the first girl that loved him for his nose!

BJ was next. He kissed the top of her head and cuddled her for all it was worth. She kissed his cheek and he hugged her before reluctantly letting her go to Father Mulcahy.

The girl decided she was tired of sitting in people's laps. She crawled over the priest and planted herself on the bench between the priest and Hawkeye. All that could be seen of her were her dark eyes peeking over the top of the table.

Hope had been watching the scene with the men and little girl. Suddenly she didn't see her anymore. Feeling a little frantic, she got up and walked over to the table. When she saw the girl peeking over the table, Hope started laughing. "There you are Missy. I thought you had disappeared."

Hawkeye looked up at her and said , "Come sit with the boys and girl."

"O.k., since there's another girl at the table, I guess I'm safe." Hope sat down beside him. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her close. She resisted the urge to put her head on his shoulder in front of everyone.

Francis saw Hawkeye put his arm around Hope's waist. There was nothing he could do about and he knew it. It hurt; it just plain hurt to see someone else touch the woman he was in love with. It was getting harder to hide his feelings and he was afraid one day they would come out and he wouldn't be able to stop them.

When the little girl saw Hope sitting beside Hawkeye, she climbed over him to get to her.

"I let women walk all over me," he sighed, then grinned.

"Hmm…I thought it was the other way round," Hope teased.

"I'd never do that to you," he whispered in her ear. Hawkeye sounded sincere. Hope wanted so much to believe him.

"Spend some time with me?" Hawkeye asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing now? I'm here, you're here."

"Yeah, with a few dozen of our closest friends and neighbors," he countered.

"Oh, you mean "alone time". Well, what do we do with the princess here?. You remember how she was a few days ago? She didn't want me out of her sight. What am I supposed to do? Look, I really want to spend time with you, but I don't feel like I can while she's awake."

He hesitated and then told her, "I'll help you get her to sleep. Then we can spend some time alone."

"Alright Hawkeye, we can do that."

He smiled at her and she felt her stomach do a flip. Someone else had smiled at her like this before and it had been the beginning of heartache for her. Hope prayed, "God, please don't let this feeling lead me down a road I've been before. I don't think I can't take it again."

"Let's go. The sooner we get her to sleep, the more time we'll have together," Hope told him.

He was surprised that she was so anxious to leave the mess tent. So maybe she was becoming as interested in him as he was in her.

* * *

Once they were outside the mess tent, Hope put the little girl down on the ground. She took one of her little hands and Hawkeye took the other one as they walked with her around the compound. After half an hour, the girl started to yawn. Hope reached down to pick her up, but Hawkeye beat her to it and scooped the child into his arms. She snuggled against his chest. He liked the feeling of standing there with this woman and holding the child in his arms. It felt so right.

If Hope's stomach had done a flip when he smiled at her, her heart was doing somersaults seeing him holding that little girl.

Before they could get to Post-Op, the child was asleep. Hawkeye laid her down in the bed closest to the nurse's station. It had become her sleeping spot since she had come to the 4077th. Hope bent down and kissed her. "Sweet dreams, princess. I lo…"

As the two of them walked away, he asked her, "Why didn't you finish the sentence? You do love her. Everyone here can see it in your face. Don't deny it."

"I guess if I don't say it, then I can't feel it," she told him.

"Hope, it doesn't work that way and you know it. What you're doing is called denial."

Without thinking, the next thing that popped out of her mouth was, "I thought that was a river in Egypt."

Hawkeye tried not to smile and thought, "There she goes again, making a joke when things are serious." Then another thought occurred to him, "That sounds a lot like me."

* * *

They went to the O Club and sat in the back corner next to the jukebox. Hawkeye mentally dared anyone to come near and it seemed to be working. He went to the bar and ordered drinks; two scotches. When he handed Hope her drink, he said, "Sip, please. Doctor's orders. I don't want you falling asleep on me, at least not now and not here."

Hope blushed and stammered, "O.K." Once she had composed herself, she decided to steer the conversation to something else and said, "Hawkeye, I don't know much about you. Where are you from? I can tell it's not Alabama."

He laughed and answered, "I'm from somewhere a little bit north of Alabama; Crabapple Cove, Maine to be exact."

"Yep, that's a wee bit north of Alabama. Tell me about your family."

"It's just me and my dad. My mom passed away when I was a kid."

Hope reached out and covered his hand with hers. "I'm sorry Hawkeye." He looked down at her hand, then back at her.

"It was a long time, ago." He moved closer to her.

She leaned into him. "Tell me about your dad. He must be an interesting man, if he's anything like his son."

Hawkeye continued, "My dad is a doctor. He takes care of the folks in Crabapple Cove and he wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

"What's his name?"

"Daniel."

"One more question about names. Why does everyone call you Hawkeye? Surely your parents didn't really name you Hawkeye."

"My dad pinned that one on me. It's from _The Last of the Mohicans. _It's his favorite book."

"And your real name is? Tell me what it is and I promise I'll never call you that." She grinned and crossed her heart.

"Benjamin Franklin," he whispered.

"That's not so bad. My middle name is Juliet. Now that's bad!"

"No it's not. It just means I can be your Romeo." He kissed her ear and then her neck. She didn't need whiskey to feel intoxicated. Hope turned and kissed him fully on the lips.

If there was a bad time for Francis Mulcahy to enter a room, he'd certainly picked it. He couldn't help but see Hope kissing Hawkeye and there was nothing subtle about the kiss. He turned away from their direction and sat down at the piano. He started playing a tune that was familiar to her.

Hope recalled the words of the song. They ran through her mind.

_You'd be so easy to love  
So easy to idolize all others above  
So worth the yearning for  
So swell to keep every home fire burning for_

_And we would be so grand at the game_  
_Carefree together that it does seem a shame_  
_That you can't see your future with me_  
_'cause you'd be, oh, so easy to love_

_You'd be so easy to love_  
_Easy to idolize all others above_  
_So worth the yearning for_  
_So swell to keep all the home fires burning for_

_We'd be so grand at the game_  
_So carefree together that it does seem a shame_  
_That you can't see your future with me_  
_'cause you'd be, oh, so easy to love_

Why on earth would he choose that particular song to play? Was it just a coincidence?

Hope abruptly stopped kissing Hawkeye. He asked her, "Is something wrong?"

"No, I just had to come up for air," she lied and took a large swallow of scotch. "Let's go outside." Hope stood up, put the glass on the table and grabbed Hawkeye's hand.

As they passed by the piano on their way out the door, Hope shot the priest a questioning glance as she left the O-Club. He looked up at her, but she couldn't be sure of what she read in his eyes.

Hawkeye and Hope walked a little way from the O-Club when he stopped her and said, "You seem distracted all of a sudden. What's wrong?"

Hope didn't answer his question. Instead she turned to him said, "Hawkeye, distract me from my distraction."

"What do you have in mind?"

Forgetting the little prayer she had made earlier about going down a wrong road, Hope pulled him into the shadows and wrapped her arms around him. Standing on tip toe, she kissed his neck softly. Her lips felt like a butterfly brushing his skin with its wings. He groaned. Did she realize the effect she was having on him?

She did when he pulled her closer. Hope immediately felt the effect she had on his body. She had thrown away caution in that moment. What was she doing? Hope stopped kissing him and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm just sorry this isn't the right time or place," he whispered.

She touched his face and said, "I think I'd better go."

When she pulled away, he grabbed her and kissed her softly. "I'll let you go this time but I certainly don't want to."

"Good night Hawkeye." She walked away and headed to the nurses' tent. The sound of an ambulance pulling up in the compound caused her to turn around and walk towards it. Hope pushed the thought of how she felt about Hawkeye out of her mind; it was time to go to work.

**Note- The song **_**You'd Be So Easy to Love **_**was written by Cole Porter in 1936.**

**Hope is close to the edge with Hawkeye. Will she remember her prayer or let go of reason?**

**And, is Father Mulcahy trying to tell Hope how he feels through a song?**

**Thanks for reading. More to come!**


	34. Chapter 34 Why Not Me?

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 34- WHY NOT ME?**

**Disclaimer- **The characters from M*A*S*H are not my own. Hope Jones and her family are my own creation.

* * *

It was nearly four in the morning before all the casualties brought in by ambulance had been taken care of. Hope threw her surgical cap and gown in the laundry bin and walked outside. All she wanted to do was go to sleep. She was so tired that the nurses' tent seemed a thousand miles away. Her mind wandered for a moment and she was unaware that someone had come up behind until a hand was placed on her shoulder, she jumped and hollered, "Holy crap!"

Hawkeye backed away from her and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was going to kiss your neck, but I think it would be safer for me if I didn't."

"I'm sorry Hawkeye, you scared me." She raked her fingers through her hair and sighed." I was wondering if I could sleep standing right here. My legs feel like lead and the rest of me is about to go on strike."

He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. "Come on, I'll walk you home."

Hope chuckled. "I didn't know you could walk on water. It's a long way back to Georgia from here."

Hawkeye pulled her around to face him and lifted her chin with his hand to look in her eyes, even though it was dark where they were standing. "I wish I could. I'd get us out this place."

Hope shrugged. "Well, I'll settle for the nurses' tent, unless I can get a better offer." She could have kicked herself for saying that because she had a pretty good idea what the offer would be. Somehow saying things like that were so automatic that she didn't realize she said them until it was too late.

Although it was dark and Hawkeye couldn't see that she was blushing, he could feel how hot her face had become when he touched her cheek. He chuckled. "Oh Hope, do you ever think about what you're going to say before you say it?"

She snuggled against his chest and mumbled, "Evidently not. I guess you'd better walk me to the nurses' tent before I die of embarrassment."

"Ok, let's go. You're much too young to die. I like having you around."

"To keep you entertained by saying stupid, embarrassing things."

Hawkeye laughed softly. "Yeah, something like that."

Once they stood outside the nurses' tent, Hope didn't want to go inside and Hawkeye didn't want to leave. He wrapped his arms around her. "Hope do you know how hard it is for me to leave you?" She looked up at him and said, "Why?"

He sighed and said, "You ask too many questions and you already know the answer."Hawkeye pulled her closer and kissed her gently. Then he pulled away and told her, "Now go inside the nurses' tent and get some rest."

Hope smiled and gave him a mock salute, "Yes sir, Captain! Good night."

* * *

Hope went inside the nurses' tent and stood there trying to decide if it was worth the effort to change into pajamas. She decided to forgo them and sleep in her uniform. Looking up at the top bunk where she slept now, she decided that climbing up into it wasn't worth the effort either. It seemed more like climbing a mountain. She gave up and left the nurses' tent.

Father Mulcahy lay awake. He couldn't sleep. All that kept going through his mind was the little girl. He knew he had to tell Hope that the child would have to go St. Theresa's orphanage. He had exhausted every avenue he could think of to find out the whereabouts of her family and had not met with success. He had to tell Hope in the morning; it couldn't wait. The priest had wrestled with it all night. Even prayer didn't help him in his efforts to fall asleep. He got up and walked outside.

The priest saw Hope standing outside of the nurses' tent and walked over to her. "What's wrong? Can't sleep?" he asked her.

"No Francis, I can't. Have you ever been too tired to sleep?"

"Yes, I have. But I can't say that's my problem this time. I've got a something on my mind," he sighed.

"Would you like to talk about it? We don't have anything better to do."

He knew he needed to tell her that the little girl would be going to St. Teresa's and that he would be taking the child to the orphanage the next day.

She sensed something was bothering him. "It's alright, I'm your friend. You can talk to me." Hope touched his arm and a wave of heat shot up to his face. He was glad it was dark and she couldn't see his face flushing. This made it even harder to tell her what he wanted her to know.

He pointed toward a bench. They sat down and faced each other. Francis took her hands in his and said, "Hope, I feel like I've exhausted all efforts to find the little girl's family and the best course of action now would be for her to go to St. Teresa's orphanage. I've contacted the nuns and they're ready to take her. I plan on taking her there tomorrow."

Hope's eyes misted. "I know Francis. My mind says that it must happen, but my heart doesn't want it to."

Hawkeye hadn't been able to fall asleep, either. He tossed and turned, punched his pillow and tried to relax. It was only a matter of time before BJ or Charles would hear him and there would be hell to pay for waking them up.

He stepped outside the Swamp to see Hope and Father Mulcahy sitting on a bench holding hands. What was going on between those two? Hawkeye felt a surge of jealousy overtake him. It wasn't rational. Mulcahy was a priest. Nothing could be going on between him and Hope; could there? If he didn't love Hope, Hawkeye realized that he wouldn't care what was going on between her and Father Mulcahy.

Hope finally pulled her hands away from Francis' grasp. She looked away from him for a split second and noticed Hawkeye standing outside the Swamp watching them. What was he thinking? She knew that he had seen her and Francis holding hands.

She pointed in the direction of where Hawkeye was standing. "Excuse me Francis; it looks like we're not the only ones who can't sleep."

When she walked up to Hawkeye, there was an awkward silence. Finally Hope looked up at him and said, "Francis told me that our little patient will be going to St. Teresa's tomorrow." Then she turned around and started to walk away from him, back to where Mulcahy was sitting.

"Hope, come back here." Hawkeye gently grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him. "You know it has to happen, don't you?"

She blinked and tears slid down her cheeks. "Yes, I know." Her answer was barely audible. Hawkeye pulled her close and held her for a long time. He didn't know what else to do. BJ was right; there were some things that he couldn't "fix".

* * *

By breakfast, everyone in camp knew that the little girl would be leaving the next day for St. Teresa's orphanage. It didn't take long for a farewell party for the child to be planned. Hope contributed the tin of cookies that had been locked up in Colonel Potter's safe. The cook would bake a cake and Igor was put in charge of making punch; one version for the grownups and another for the little girl. Klinger scrounged up things for decorations, like surgical gloves that could be used for balloons.

Father Mulcahy asked that the piano be moved from the O Club to the mess tent after supper so music could be provided for the party. Then he prayed fervently that there would be no incoming wounded that evening so the party could take place.

Klinger donated his wardrobe so the nurses and little girl could play "dress up". There was also a "girls only" tea party held in Major Houlihan's tent. Colonel Potter took the little girl with him on a long ride on his beloved horse, Sophie. When they returned from the horseback ride, he and the girl painted a picture together. In the end, there was more paint on the Colonel and the girl than on the canvas!

After a long day of play, everyone needed an afternoon nap; especially the grownups! Hope claimed the privilege of napping with the girl. They snuggled together along with Old Fluffy on one of the empty beds in Post-Op.

Hawkeye pulled up a chair next to their bed and sat down to catch up on paper work while they slept. Hope looked so peaceful and content. He would have lain down next to her but the bed was much too narrow for the three of them. Before he realized it, an hour had passed. Hope woke up in her usual fashion, opening one eye and then the other. She smiled when she saw his face.

"Hawkeye, what are you doing?"

"Catching up on paper work and watching you two sleep."

"You spent an hour watching me and the little girl sleep? Are you that bored?" She yawned and raked her fingers through her hair.

He brushed the hair out of her eyes. "No Hope, never bored where you're concerned."

She chuckled and said, "You poor man!" Hope sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Hawkeye reached over and pulled her into his lap and kissed her.

The little girl stretched and opened her eyes. Hope left his lap and picked her up. "Hello Princess." She kissed the girl's cheek and received a kiss in return.

An unexpected thought marched its way through Hawkeye's mind. "Someone should marry Hope and give her the opportunity to have a child." The second thought that came rapidly pushed the first one out of the way. "Why not me?" If someone had told him two months ago he would be thinking about getting married, he would have told them they were out of their mind.

* * *

After supper, when the farewell party was in full swing, Hope took Major Houlihan aside to ask her permission to go with Father Mulcahy to take the little girl to the orphanage. Major Houlihan's only stipulation was that Hope would not go if they received casualties. Hope agreed and thanked the Major, then joined Francis at the piano and sat down next to him. It was one of the things that bonded them as friends. Anyone observing them would think they were in their own little world. At least Hawkeye noticed it; everyone else was too busy enjoying the little girl and the party.

"Francis, would you play _Let Me Call You Sweetheart?" _He played the first few notes and Hope got everyone's attention. "Let's serenade the party girl." She started singing and everyone joined in.

_Let me call you sweetheart  
I'm in love with you  
Let me hear you whisper that you love me too  
Keep the lovelight glowing in your eyes so true  
Let me call you sweetheart  
I'm in love with you_

_Let me call you sweetheart_  
_I'm in love with you_  
_Let me hear you whisper that you love me too_  
_Keep the lovelight glowing in your eyes so true_  
_Let me call you sweetheart_  
_I'm in love with you._

Then everyone sang _A You're Adorable-_

_A, You're adorable . . .  
B, You're so beautiful . . .  
C, You're a cutie full of charms . . .  
D, You're a darling and . . .  
E, You're exciting . . .  
F, You're a feather in my arms . . .  
G, You look good to me . . .  
H, You're so heavenly . . .  
I, You're the one I idolize . . .  
J, We're like Jack and Jill . . .  
K, You are so kiss-able . . .  
L, Is the love-light in your eyes . . .  
M, N, O, P . . .  
I could go on all day . . .  
Mmmmmmm!  
Q, R, S, T . . .  
Alphabetically speaking you're OK.  
U, Made my life complete . . .  
V, Means you're very sweet . . .  
W, X, Y, Z . . .  
It's fun to wander through,  
The alphabet with you,  
To tell you what you mean to me._

Francis and Hope recalled the time they sang the song together in the O Club and smiled at each other. When he blushed like he had done the first time, it tugged at her heart. Here was a man she truly felt safe around. She knew he would never hurt her, but he would never be available to her as more than a friend. Did she care about Hawkeye just because it was possible to be more than a friend to him or did she truly feel something genuine for him?

The party wound down once the little guest of honor got sleepy. On her way to put the little girl to bed Hope stopped to talk to Francis about going with him the next morning to the orphanage.

"Francis, I've got permission from Major Houlihan to go with you to the orphanage in the morning. I hope it's alright with you. It would mean a lot to me."

He smiled at her, his blue eyes shining. "Of course, as long as I do the driving this time."

"What's the matter with my driving?" she teased. "Do I make you nervous?"

"Now Hope, you already know the answer to that question."

"Yes, I know." She laughed. "When do you want to leave?"

"I was thinking we should leave by seven or seven thirty. That should give us plenty of time to get to the orphanage and get back before dark."

"O.k., see you then. Good night." Hope stood on tip toe and almost kissed his cheek but she stopped herself.

Francis realized what she'd almost done. "Good night, Hope." He hurried away from her towards his tent.

As she headed towards Post-Op to put the little girl to bed, Hawkeye stopped Hope. "What are you doing after you put our little princess to bed?"

"Hawkeye, I'm going to sleep myself. I'm tired and I've got a long day tomorrow. I'm going with Francis to take the princess to the orphanage in the morning."

He looked at her expectantly. She knew he wanted to be alone with her, but she was so tired and just wanted to go to sleep right then. "How about tomorrow night Hawkeye? Around seven, like before?"

He pulled her close and whispered in her ear. "It's a date. I'm counting on it."

**Note- **_**Let Me Call You Sweetheart **_**was published in 1910 by Leo Friedman with music by Beth Slater Whitson.**

**The little girl is leaving the 4077****th. ****Hope and Francis will be taking another road trip. I wonder if it will be as eventful as the last one they took together?**

**Thanks for reading!**


	35. Chapter 35

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 35- I LOVE YOU**

**Disclaimer- **The characters from M*A*S*H are much beloved by me, but sadly not my own. Hope Jones, her family, etc. are my creations.

* * *

Francis Mulcahy recalled the last trip he made to the orphanage and all the things that had happened that time. He fell in love with Hope and was in an accident. He learned about her during that night they waited to be rescued and loved her all the more.

This trip was different and the same. Hope was with him, but they were taking a child to the orphanage. He prayed that the he and Hope would make the trip to and from the orphanage safely. He knew the return trip would be very difficult for her. He just wanted them to complete the trip and get back to the 4077th as soon as possible.

He wasn't sure they would be able to leave on time. Just about everyone in camp came out to say good-bye to the little girl. She received plenty of hugs and kisses, especially from the nurses. When she was secured in the seat between Hope and Father Mulcahy, he started the jeep and slowly drove out of the compound.

At first, all three of them were quiet. Father Mulcahy was concentrating on avoiding the crater sized potholes in the road. Hope was trying not to cry and the little girl was watching the world go by at under forty miles per hour. This didn't last long however. Hope and Francis started to speak at the same time.

"I'm sorry Francis, what were you going to say?"

"Oh, just that I'm thankful the weather is decent today. It helps make this trip more pleasant. And you were about to say….?"

Hope laughed softly. "I was just about to say the same thing. Well, and something else. When we get to St. Teresa's, I wanted to ask the nuns to talk to the girl for me to tell her that I …." Hope let the last sentence trail off without finishing it.

"What is it Hope? What do you want the nuns to tell the girl?" He already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear her say it. It would be better for her, if she would just say how she felt and not hold it in. Then he thought, "Isn't that what I'm doing about Hope? I'm holding my feelings in."

"I want them to tell her that I love her."

"Hope, she already knows it. Love doesn't need words to be expressed. Everyone else at camp knows you love her. Your face glowed every time you were with her. She never wanted you out of her sight. You two will always have a bond."

"I just want her to hear the words before we leave her. Then she can carry the sound of those words in her heart and head for a lifetime. Does that sound weird?"

"No it doesn't. Not for you," he answered.

By then, the little passenger was getting restless and bored with the ride. She started squirming in the seat and was distracting Father Mulcahy.

"Hope could you do something to keep her busy while I drive? She's starting to distract me and that's not a good thing on these roads. You understand don't you?"

"Oh yeah, I do. It takes all your concentration to avoid the potholes or should I say "craters" in the road." Hope pulled the little girl closed to her and started singing to her.

_Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.  
And on that farm he had some chickens, E-I-E-I-O.  
With a "bawk, bawk" here  
And a "bawk, bawk" there,  
Here a "bawk", there a "bawk,"  
Everywhere a "bawk, bawk,"  
Old MacDonald had a farm,  
E-I-E-I-O._

_Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.  
And on that farm he had some cows, E-I-E-I-O.  
With a "moo, moo" here,  
And a "moo, moo" there.  
Here a "moo" there a "moo"  
Everywhere a "moo, moo".  
Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O._

Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.  
And on that farm he had some horses, E-I-E-I-O.  
With a "neigh, neigh" here,  
And a "neigh, neigh" there.  
Here a "neigh" there a "neigh"  
Everywhere a "neigh, neigh".  
Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.

_Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.  
And on that farm he had a dog, E-I-E-I-O.  
With a "woof, woof" here,  
And a "woof, woof" there.  
Here a "woof" there a "woof"  
Everywhere a "woof, woof".  
Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O._

Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.  
And on that farm he had a cat, E-I-E-I-O.  
With a "meow, meow" here,  
And a "meow, meow" there.  
Here a "meow" there a "meow"  
Everywhere a "meow, meow".  
Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.

Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.  
And on that farm he had some goats, E-I-E-I-O.  
With a "baaa, baaa" here,  
And a "baaa, baaa" there.  
Here a "baaa" there a "baaa"  
Everywhere a "baaa, baaa".  
Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.

Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.  
And on that farm he had pigs, E-I-E-I-O.  
With an "oink, oink" here,  
And an "oink, oink" there.  
Here an "oink" there an "oink"  
Everywhere an "oink, oink".  
Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.

When Hope finished the song, she felt a tug on her sleeve and heard the little girl say, "Oink, oink, baa,baa?"

Hope said, "Again?" The girl said, "Oink,oink, baa, baa." They sang _Old MacDonald Had a Farm_ three more times.

"O.k., Old MacDonald needs to put his animals in the barn. I'm oinked, mooed and baaed out!" Hope laughed.

Francis enjoyed hearing Hope singing with the little girl. In a way, it made the trip seem a little like a family drive in the country.

* * *

Hawkeye took advantage of a quiet morning without incoming casualties to write a letter to his dad. He was long overdue in writing to him.

_Dear Dad,_

_Everything here at the war is the same, chaos followed by boredom followed by more chaos. _

_Then something or should I say someone happened along and things suddenly changed. BJ has told me that I've become downright boring. Too serious. I blame it on the latest arrival to the 4077__th__._

_This new arrival is a nurse named Hope Juliet Jones. (Don't tell her I told you her middle name, she'll kill me. She hates it!) Hope is from Georgia and her father is a minister._

_She's cute, funny and compassionate. I've seen her keep patients calm just by talking to them and sometimes even singing to them. We've had a little Korean girl as a patient here for several weeks. Two soldiers found her on the side of the road and brought her here with a badly wounded foot. Hope happened to be the first person here to see her when she was brought in and the two of them have become very attached to each other._

_This morning Hope and Father Mulcahy left to take the girl to St. Teresa's orphanage because her family couldn't be found and she needed a permanent place to stay. Everyone hear will miss her but I think that leaving that little girl at the orphanage is going to be really hard on Hope._

_Yes, I've been involved with lots of women in one way or the other and now I'm writing you about one I just met. All this is leading up to one question Dad. How do you know when you've found the one you want to spend your life with?_

_And yes Dad, I am really serious in asking you this question and I do want your advice. Please write me back as soon as you read this letter._

_Love,_

_Hawkeye_

BJ entered the Swamp as Hawkeye finished the letter. "Hey Hawk, writing to your dad?"

"Yeah, I hadn't written him in a while. Really needed to do it."

"Just because it's been a while or because you wanted to tell him about Hope?"

Hawkeye looked up at BJ and said, "Yes and yes."

"It must be serious if you're writing your dad about her."

"Serious on my side, but I don't know about her side of things. I plan on talking to her when she and Father Mulcahy get back from their trip to the orphanage. This is gonna be a long day until she gets back."

BJ patted Hawkeye on the shoulder. "Hang in there my friend. She and Mulcahy should be back before nightfall."

"I sure hope so Beej, remember what happened the last time those two were on the road?"

"Oh, come on Hawk that was an accident. I'm sure they'll be just fine and will make it home for supper. "

"I sure hope so." Hawkeye put the letter in an envelope, addressed and sealed it. He left the Swamp and headed to Klinger's office to put the letter in the outgoing mail.

* * *

When they arrived at St. Teresa's orphanage, Hope and Father Mulcahy received an enthusiastic greeting like the one on their earlier trip there. Also, the nuns had told the children that a new child was coming to live with them so they were doubly excited. Hope had barely gotten out of the jeep with the little girl in her arms when she felt little hands grab her leg. She looked down to see the little boy she had played hide and seek before. She knelt down, put the girl on the ground and hugged the boy. "Hello again, I've brought someone new to live with you."

He said something to the little girl in Korean and took her hand. As they started to walk away, the little girl hesitated and looked back. Hope nodded and said, "its o.k., go meet your new friends." The girl turned away and walked with the little boy to where the other children were waiting for them.

Once the children were off getting acquainted with the little girl, Hope and Father Mulcahy talked to the nuns about her. Hope told them about the girl's foot and the surgery BJ had performed on it. She also told them that the child could walk, but would probably always limp.

Father Mulcahy gave them the things that members of the 4077th had given the child; the painting she did with Colonel Potter, a crocheted blanket from Major Houlihan, a pair of shiny earrings from Klinger and Hope's stuffed rabbit, Old Fluffy.

"Sister Mary Margaret, would you do something for me?" asked Hope. "I don't speak Korean and I would like to talk to the little girl and tell her something before Father Mulcahy and I have to leave."

"Of course, I'd be happy to do that for you." The nun walked over to where the children were grouped together around the little girl. She took the child's hand and brought her over to Hope.

Both Sister Mary Margaret and Hope knelt down to be at eye level with the girl.

"Sister, please ask her what her name is first and then tell her that I will always remember her and that I…" Hope paused for a second and then continued, "I love her very much."

The nun spoke to the girl for a few minutes and then told Hope what she had said to her. "I asked her name. She says it is Cho Hee, it means beautiful and bright. And I told her that you would always remember her. However, I think you should tell her you love her."

"How do you say "I love you" in Korean?" Hope asked.

"Sarang hae," the nun responded.

Hope put her hands on the little girl's shoulders and called her name, "Cho Hee?"

The girl smiled when she heard Hope say her name. She hugged the nurse tightly.

Hope whispered to her, "Sarang hae."

Cho Hee responded by kissing Hope on the cheek and saying, "Sarang hae."

It pained Francis Mulcahy to tell Hope they needed to leave. He knew the longer they stayed, the more difficult it would be for everyone. He touched her shoulder and gently said, "It's time for us to leave."

She let go of Cho Hee and stood up. "Yes, you're right. We have to leave now."

Hope turned to Sister Mary Margaret and said, "Thank you for helping me tell Cho Hee that I love her. I will keep her and all of you in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you."

The nun gave her a hug and then took Cho Hee's hand and started to walk away. The little girl broke free of the nun's grasp and ran back to Hope and grabbed her legs. Hope knelt down and hugged and kissed her.

Cho Hee whispered in her ear, "Sarang hae. Hope."

Hope touched Cho Hee's cheek and looked into her dark eyes. "Sarang hae. " The girl let go of her and went back to Sister Mary Margaret.

Father Mulcahy told the nun and Cho Hee good bye and put his hand on Hope's shoulder. "Come on, let's go." The two of them walk to the jeep and got in. He started the engine and drove off. Hope looked back and then turned forward in her seat. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. His eyes misted when he saw her face and he found it difficult to the see the road.

They rode in silence for about half an hour until Hope sobbed loudly. It startled Francis so badly that he pulled off the jeep off the road. He left the engine running.

Without a word, he pulled her to him. She placed her head on his shoulder and cried loudly for several minutes. Once she stopped crying, he lifted her face and kissed her lips softly. The kiss caught Hope by surprise. It was gentle, sweet, and innocent. Before he could pull away, she returned his kiss.

Francis Mulcahy had passed over the boundary between being a priest and a man. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her again, but he stopped himself before it was too late and pulled away from her. "Oh Hope, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

Hope looked into his eyes and said, "Don't be sorry. It's as much my fault as yours. I kissed you back."

Before Francis could respond to Hope, there was a distant sound of voices speaking something other than English. He turned off the jeep's engine and they both sat there silently, hardly daring to breathe.

Unfortunately, the jeep was visible from the road. He dared not start up the engine again and try to move where they would have been hidden. Then he thought about the language of the distant voices. Francis wasn't sure, but it didn't sound like Korean to him. It sounded like Chinese.

He pulled Hope closed to him and whispered in her ear," I think we're hearing a group of Chinese soldiers. Get out of the jeep quietly now. We're going to have to find a place to hide."

**Father Mulcahy and Hope on another road trip. It appears that this trip is turning out to be even more eventful than the first one in many ways! He finally kissed her. And she kissed back. It appears they might not make it back to the 4077****th**** before nightfall like they planned.**

**Hawkeye has finally written to his dad about Hope. It will be interesting to see what sort of response he receives from him.**

**Dear readers, thank you so much for your support! Thanks for reading!**


	36. Chapter 36 It's Complicated

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 36- IT'S COMPLICATED**

**Disclaimer- **The M*A*S*H characters are not my own. Only Hope and her family are my creations.

* * *

"Come on Hawkeye, that is not a word. You made it up." BJ sounded a little frustrated with his friend who was half heartedly playing Scrabble with him.

"I'm sorry Beej, my heart's just not in the game. I should have never suggested we play this game. I'm usually a lot better player than this."

BJ chuckled. "Yeah, you usually beat the socks off me by some astronomically high score."

"I'm just preoccupied today."

"Really? I would have never guessed that in a million years. You're going to drive yourself and everybody else around here crazy until Father Mulcahy and Hope get back to camp."

"Well they say "misery loves company" and I don't like being alone."

"Sure, sure. The minute the two of them get back, the rest of us will be "chopped liver" to you. Well, I mean when Hope gets back."

Hawkeye flopped on his bed and put his hands behind his head. "You're right. I'm barrels of fun today. Sorry."

"It's o.k. Hawk. You'll be back to your usual charming self when she gets back tonight."

* * *

Father Mulcahy and Hope found a large stand of shrubbery to hide behind. They sat as close to each other as possible without Hope sitting in his lap. Silently he prayed, "Oh Lord, please protect us and let us get back to camp. And Lord, help me with my feelings for Hope. I shouldn't have kissed her, but I did." He paused in his prayer. "And honestly, I want to do it again. Amen."

Hope was silently communicating with God as well; a prayer with a question tacked on to it. "Lord, first of all, we're scared; scared of being found by those enemy soldiers and not being able to go back home to the 4077th. Please watch over us. A guardian angel or two would be much appreciated." She fingered the guardian angel medal that Tommy had sent her. "And I'm scared of what just happened between me and Francis. What should I do? Putting it simply, help**!**

She was shaking uncontrollably and Francis threw his arm around her and pulled her close in an effort to make her stop. "You've got to calm down Hope. You're making the bushes shake and they might hear us," he whispered in her ear.

Hope gulped and squeaked out an "o.k." She put her head on his shoulder. He started rubbing her back in an effort to get her to relax. When he felt her body finally relax, he slipped his arm around her waist. She rested her left hand on top of his thigh, causing a wave of heat to shoot through his body. He brushed the nape of her neck with his lips and she sighed softly. How badly he wanted to kiss her lips again!

"Francis, do you have the keys to the jeep?" she whispered. He nodded "yes" and patted his right pants pocket.

"Shh…." He whispered and to keep her from saying anything else, he kissed her lips. She realized that this was something more than Francis trying to keep her quiet. As frightened and confused as she felt, she didn't hesitate to yield to the kiss and savor its sweetness. There was only this moment; she didn't want to think about what might happen to them next.

Things he wanted to tell her and questions she wanted to ask him remained unspoken. They could only sit there and wait until it might be safe to leave. When he heard the soldiers pass directly by where they were hiding, Francis pulled Hope as close as he possibly could and wrapped both of his arms around her protectively. She buried her head on his chest and tried to be as still as possible.

The soldiers paused and looked at the jeep. Francis wondered if they would start looking around for the person or persons that had abandoned it, but by some miracle they walked away from it and down the road. He almost let out an audible sigh of relief when he saw them leave.

Hope mouthed the word, "gone?" He nodded "yes". She let exhaled a shaky breath and hugged him tightly. They stayed that way for several minutes before he let go of her. Hope lifted her head and smiled at him. He traced that smile on her lips with his fingertips as if he wanted to commit it to memory. She saw the light in his eyes and and took his hand in hers. "Francis?" she called his name in a husky whisper.

"Yes, Hope?" His heart pounded in anticipation of what she might ask or say next.

"Why did you kiss me?"

How was he going to answer her? Would he tell her the absolute, bottom line truth; that he was in love with her?

"Hope, it's complicated."

"Francis Mulcahy, what's so complicated about a kiss?"

He knew he would have to tell her the truth. If he really cared about her, he owed her nothing less. "Hope, there's more than one reason. You were upset at leaving Cho Hee at the orphanage and you were frightened that we had to hide from those soldiers. And…" He hesitated and looked down, then back up into her green eyes. "And because I love you. I can't help it. It just happened."

At first, Hope was taken aback to hear the words "I love you" coming from the priest's lips. But when she recalled each one of his kisses and the way he held her, she understood. She couldn't recall that she had encouraged him in any way. Maybe it was something she didn't even realize she had done. "Oh Francis, what did I do to make you fall in love with me?"

"Just being yourself. It's so many things you possess; compassion, a unique sense of humor, your spirituality, your beautiful voice, your love of children and…" He smiled and finished the sentence. "Your beautiful green eyes."

"The first time we came to St. Teresa's orphanage and I saw you playing with the children, I fell in love you in that moment. Every moment after that, I've grown to love you more."

Here they were in the middle of nowhere, hiding from the enemy and this sweet, wonderful man declared his love for her. Hope wondered how much longer he would have waited to tell her if they hadn't been caught in this situation. She had joined the Army to run away from one man only to find two men in love with her. If she had learned anything in a short time, it was that you can't run away from yourself or life.

She caressed his cheek with her hand and merely whispered, "Francis!" He took her hand and kissed it softly. It felt like a butterfly had flown straight up her arm and into her heart. How did she feel about him? Could she fall in love with him? Would she be the cause of him making a mistake he would regret for a lifetime? This was neither the time nor place to ask or answer these questions.

Hope hated to break this spell, but these sweet moments with Francis had to come to an end. They had to return home, back to the 4077th. As frightened as she was, she was more afraid of what they would have to deal within the future.

He interrupted her thoughts. "Hope, what is it? Are you upset because I told you I'm in love with you?"

"No Francis, I could never be upset with you for telling me the way you feel. I just don't know what to say. You are too dear to me to say anything that would hurt you."She raked her fingers through her hair to push it out of her eyes, but one stubborn strand of it flopped back down in her face.

He couldn't help but smile at her. He pushed the hair back away from her face. "It's alright; you don't have to say anything right now about what happened. I'm not sorry I told you how I feel."

"Thank you for telling me and not hiding it away any longer. If I've caused you any heartache, I'm sorry. So sorry, Francis." Her voice trembled and it sounded like she might cry again. She hugged him again and he held her for several minutes.

"Francis?"

"Hmm…?"

"Do you think it's safe to leave now? As much as I don't want to be captured by the enemy, I really want to go back to that cesspool we call home."

* * *

It was mid-afternoon and Hawkeye's anxiety level had ratcheted up several notches. He was now getting on Winchester's nerves. The major wanted nothing more than to be left to read in peace. His tent mate's pacing was disturbing that peace.

"Pierce, you are wearing a rut in the ground pacing back and forth. It will not bring back the Father and Lieutenant Jones any sooner. If you must pace, go do it somewhere else. Preferably in a mine field!"

"I like this rut Charles. It's a "poor thing, but mine own."

Winchester growled "Well, do it silently!", and then returned to his book.

Hawkeye stopped pacing and flopped down on his bed. This was crazy! Why couldn't he just believe what BJ had said about them being home before supper? He was becoming an Olympic, gold medal, first class worrier. He just couldn't get what happened to Mulcahy and Hope the last time on their return trip from the orphanage out of his mind. Now that she was in his life, he didn't want to lose her. This damn war had a way of suddenly taking away the people that mean the most to you. He remembered Colonel Henry Blake. Henry never made it back home.

If he was going to pace, he could just as well do it outside of the Swamp. At least, he wouldn't be annoying Charles. Hawkeye's head was down and he was so deep in thought that he didn't realize that he was about to walk directly into Colonel Potter.

"Holy Moses, Pierce! You almost walked smack into me. Where's your head?"

"Sorry Colonel. I'll just be glad when Father Mulcahy and Hope get back."

"I know, but worrying about it doesn't bring them home one second sooner. Come with me to my office."

Hawkeye followed his CO into the office. The colonel pointed at the chair across from his desk. Hawkeye sat down. Potter opened the cabinet where he kept his liquor, took out two glasses and poured drinks. As he handed a drink to Hawkeye, he said, "I know it's early for this, but you need it. Now tell me what's going on with you."

"I'm ashamed to admit it, but I just have this feeling that something's happened to Father Mulcahy and Hope."

"Pierce, there's a saying "Don't borrow trouble" Besides, last time they were in an accident. Most of life is out of our control. The older you get, the more you realize it."

"I know Colonel. This place had taught me that. It's just that…" His voice trailed off.

"What is it?" Potter suspected what Hawkeye's answer would be, but he wanted him to confirm it.

Hawkeye hesitated and then said, "I'm in love with Hope."

Potter smiled at the young surgeon. "I suspected as much. It's hard, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I have spent forty years in this man's army, so many of them away from my wife. It's hard not knowing what's happening in their lives. You can't be there to share their joys or sorrows and you can't protect them. Here's one word of advice; trust and prayer. Trust that things will be alright and pray a whole lot. Then go ahead and get on with your work. That's the best you can do. "

Hawkeye nodded. He didn't consider himself a praying man, but he knew the colonel was right.

* * *

After waiting another hour, Hope and Francis decided to go back to the 4077th. Every mile, every bump in the road was anxiety ridden for both of them. They remained silent as a precaution, just in case they still had unwanted company on the road ahead. Occasionally he would look at her, smile and pat her hand. He would have put his right arm around her and pulled her close if he hadn't felt like he needed to keep both hands on the wheel.

The sun was setting and they both thought they just might roll into camp before dark. About two miles from the 4077th, a young Korean man with a very pregnant young woman stood in the middle of the road. The man waved for Mulcahy to stop the jeep.

Francis slowed down and stopped about the jeep three feet away from the couple. "Oh Good Lord!" he whispered to Hope.

She grinned at him and whispered back, "You didn't ask the Lord what would happen next, did you?"

He shook his head. "Heavens, no!"

Hope hopped out of the jeep silently praying, "Lord, please let this young man speak a little English."

Her prayer received an immediate answered when he said, "You help! My wife having baby."

Hope pointed at the jeep. "Yes, we'll help. Get in. We are headed to the MASH unit just down the road." The young man helped his wife into the back seat and Hope sat down beside her. Once the young man was in the jeep, Francis took off and laid a heavy foot on the gas pedal. He zig zagged around potholes so much, that it seemed like they were on an amusement park ride.

When they reached camp, Francis hit the jeep's horn like it was the end of the world. Personnel flew out into the compound. Hawkeye almost ran over people getting to the jeep. "Thank God, you're back."

Hope grinned at him. "We're home and we brought company; two plus one about to make their premiere appearance." She pointed at the pregnant woman beside her, who was being helped out of the jeep by Colonel Potter and Klinger.

Hawkeye then noticed how bedraggled and dirty both Hope and Father Mulcahy looked. "Are you two alright?"

Hope sighed. "The short answer is "yes". The long answer is something very different."

Francis confirmed her answer. "Hawkeye, we're o.k., but we'll tell you more later. "

Hope noticed that Francis had said "more", not "everything". She was thankful he said it that way because she sure wasn't going to tell Hawkeye everything that happened on their trip. "Hawkeye, right now all I want is a hot shower and something to eat. Give us an hour."

Hawkeye reached over and wiped the dirt off her nose with his forefinger. "Remember Hope, we have a date." He wanted to kiss her, but didn't because the priest was standing there. "O.K. Talk to you in an hour."

With all that had happened that day, the date with Hawkeye had been forgotten. That was the last thing she wanted to do that evening; go on a date with anybody! She watched him walk away and wondered if she could get out of it without him getting too upset.

Once Hawkeye was out of their line of sight, Francis pulled Hope over behind a tent. He took her in his arms. "Hope I don't know when I'll have a chance to do this again, so I want to make it count." At first, his kiss was gentle, but it quickly became very intense as he pushed her lips open with his tongue. She responded by wrapping her arms around his neck. He moved one arm down to her waist and pulled her even closer. The voice of reason in her head was fighting a losing battle, she enjoyed kissing him. He made her feel safe and cherished. However, that feeling of safety quickly changed to fear when she realized how aroused he had become as he held her close. She was afraid for him and for herself. She felt the need to protect him from doing something he would later regret

Hope was breathless and shaking when she pulled away from him. "Francis, I've got to go now."

He saw the fear in her eyes and knew there was nothing he could do about it. His heart ached at the thought of upsetting her and but he couldn't help the way he felt about her. "Alright Hope, guess we should get cleaned up and eat something. We'll both feel better."

Francis left and headed towards his tent. Hope stepped from behind the tent to see Hawkeye standing in the middle of the compound. Even from a distance, she could see a fire in his eyes and it was obviously not passion. It was pure, unadulterated anger.

She froze where she stood, feeling like a trapped animal. As he approached her, she braced herself for heaven knew what was about to come out of his mouth. He reached out and grabbed her by the arms.

"Hope what the hell is going on between you and Mulcahy? I saw him pull you behind that tent."

Hope was torn between bursting into tears or launching into a tirade of cursing that would have caused her mother to wash her mouth with soap when she was a child. Hope opted for an evasive answer instead. "He wanted to speak to me privately." She struggled to loosen his grip on her." Let go of my arms. You're hurting me!"

"That's all? I don't believe you."

Hope let out a shuddering sigh and blasted him. "Believe this Captain Pierce; Father Mulcahy and I came very close to not making it back today! We almost had a new address; a Chinese POW camp. Is that a good enough answer for you? Now all I want is a hot shower, clean clothes, food and for you to leave me the **hell **alone!"

She turned and walked away, leaving Hawkeye speechless.

**This was a long, difficult day for Hope and Father Mulcahy in many ways. At least, they made it back to camp before dark. **

**Unfortunately, for Hope, Hawkeye and Francis, more difficulty lies ahead.**

**Thanks for reading the story and for your support!**


	37. Chapter 37 Miracles

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 37- MIRACLES**

**Note- **Don't own M*A*S*H. I do own Hope Jones.

* * *

Long after her hair and body were clean, Hope let the water run down her face along with her tears even though the water was cold by then. She replayed the events of that day through her mind; leaving Cho Hee at the orphanage, Francis declaring his love for her, hiding from the enemy soldiers, the young Korean man and his pregnant wife, Francis' passionate kiss behind the tent and Hawkeye's angry question about her relationship with the priest .She quickly dried off and put on a clean uniform. All she wanted was some coffee, food and some rest.

Once again, the war had other plans. Hope had just finished lacing up her boots when the PA system crackled with the announcement that they had incoming wounded. She stopped long enough in her run to help with triage to look heavenward and say, "Look Lord, I didn't ask you "what's next?" today."

The "what's next" answer came anyway. Out of the four surgeons she could have been assisting, she wound up with Hawkeye. She could hear the anger in his voice with every request he made for a surgical instrument and anything else he told her to do. Staying focused on her work became increasingly difficult. She did everything possible to give him the instruments he asked for without hesitation. Everything was alright until he asked for Metzenbaum scissors and she handed him Mayo scissors by mistake. He exploded at her. "Are you deaf and dumb, or just dumb? I said Metzenbaum scissors!" Hope mumbled "sorry" and handed him the correct instrument.

Major Houlihan crossed the operating room and went to Hope's side. "Lieutenant, go assist Captain Hunnicutt. I'll take over here."

"Yes, ma'am." Hope was grateful to be out of the line of Hawkeye's fury. She could see BJ's sympathetic smile under his mask and his gentle voice soothed her spirits; enabling her to stay focused on the job at hand. The rest of the OR session went off without a hitch. She didn't miss a beat in giving him the instruments he asked for.

Colonel Potter had intended on being the first one to lay into Hawkeye about the way he had treated Hope in the OR, but Father Mulcahy beat him to it.

"Hawkeye, how could you talk to Lieutenant Jones that way? Yes, she made a mistake in handing you the wrong instrument. She's not the first nurse that has done that and I have never heard you yell at them like that. You have no idea what this day has been like for her…or me! We almost didn't make it back. There was an enemy patrol out on the road when we were on our way back from St. Teresa's orphanage. Hope and I spent several hours hiding from them until we thought it was safe enough to attempt the trip back to camp."

"Yes, I know Father. She told me." Hawkeye answered looking down at the ground. He dared not look at Francis Mulcahy, because if the priest's eyes had been flame throwers he would have been vaporized.

Colonel Potter bellowed, "You knew what she'd been through and you still yelled at her? Good God Almighty Pierce, you've not only got mush for brains, you're a world class jackass! You owe that young woman a mighty big apology!"

* * *

Hope threw her surgical cap and gown in the laundry bin and went outside. When she saw the little drama playing out between Colonel Potter, Hawkeye and Francis, she headed in the opposite direction. She saw that Major Houlihan was headed toward the mess tent and stopped her. "Excuse me Major. May I talk to you for a minute?"

The head nurse turned and said in a rather annoyed tone of voice, "Yes, Lieutenant. What is it?"

"Major, I'm sorry that my performance in OR was not up to par. I won't let it happen again. I've had a very long, very difficult day, but that's no excuse."

"Lieutenant, you made a mistake in handing him the wrong instrument and you know it. But it's not you I'm not upset with. It's Captain Pierce. It seemed like he was angry with you about a personal matter and that should never happen in the operating room. He'll be hearing from me, make no mistake."

"Thank you Major."

The major was a little surprised to hear Hope's expression of gratitude. "Lieutenant, join me for a cup of coffee?"

"Yes Major, I would like that. I sure could use about a gallon of the stuff."

* * *

After being blasted by both Colonel Potter and Father Mulcahy, Hawkeye went to the Swamp, fully expecting another person to let him have it and the minute he entered the Swamp. BJ lit into him.

"Hawkeye, what is wrong with you? You had no business talking to Hope like you did. It was more than her handing you the wrong instrument, it was personal. Don't deny it."

"I won't deny it, because it's true Beej. It was personal."

"Why? What did she do that's got you so worked up?"

Hawkeye hesitated to tell BJ why he was so upset, so angry with Hope. Now he felt like the world class jackass that Colonel Potter had called him earlier. He rubbed his face with his hands and sighed, "Alright, I'll tell you this much. I think something's going on between Hope and Father Mulcahy."

BJ was surprised to hear this. "Really? Mulcahy and Hope? What makes you think that something's going on between them?"

"I've seen them together, deep in conversation. Several times." He omitted that he had seen Mulcahy pull Hope behind a tent shortly after they came back from the orphanage.

"So? They're friends. They talk. He's a clergyman and she's a clergyman's daughter. They have something in common."

"It's more than that. It's the way he looks at her."

It finally dawned on BJ what Hawkeye was driving at. "You think he's in love with her? Or more than that, she's in love with him?"

Hawkeye simply answered, "Yes."

BJ chuckled softly and said, "You're jealous of the two of them, plain and simple. That's no excuse for…"

He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence because Winchester entered the Swamp and yelled, "Pierce, you are without a doubt an unfeeling cad! How dare you speak to Lieutenant Jones that way! "

Hawkeye looked up at his tent mates, feeling the sting of the verbal tongue lashings he'd just received. "O.k., I was out of line. Why don't you just line me up in front of a firing squad?"

"Go and apologize to her Pierce; then Hunnicutt and I may grant you a stay of execution," Winchester told him.

* * *

When Hawkeye found Hope in the mess tent sitting with Major Houlihan, he braced himself for what the head nurse was going to say to him. He walked up to their table and asked if he could sit down with them. The major nodded "yes" and he sat next to her. She turned to him and said, "Pierce, I have something to say to you later. Right now, the person you should be talking to is Lieutenant Jones." She got up and left the mess tent.

Hope was rubbing circles around the rim of her coffee cup with the fingers of her right hand, gazing down into it as if it contained the mysteries of the universe. She clutched the edge of the table with her left hand.

He nervously cleared his throat and softly said, "Hope I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you in the OR. I was out of line."

What was she going to say to him? Her heart and body hurt too much right then to say anything, but she had to say something. Hope was in no mood to forgive him then, but everything she believed in told her that she must do it sometime. She didn't even look up at him when she muttered, "I forgive you Hawkeye."

He reached out to take her left hand, but she pulled it away and placed it in her lap. Hope finally looked up at him and said, "O.k, I said I forgive you. If you care about me at all, just go away. I've been through a lot today and I've had all I can take, especially from you."

Those last few words she had spoken hit Hawkeye with the realization that if things had turned out differently that day, he would have truly lost her. The very fact that Hope and Father Mulcahy had made it back to camp was a miracle. Right then, he wanted nothing more than to hold her and tell her how thankful that she was safe and sound. Instead, he did what she asked and left her alone.

He cautiously entered the Swamp and announced, "Alright, I apologized to Hope. I'm an idiot. I lost sight of the fact that if things had gone differently for her and Mulcahy, they wouldn't be here right now."

BJ gave him a puzzled look. "What do you mean "if things had gone differently?"

Hawkeye sat down on his bed. "On the way back from the orphanage, Hope and the Father spent several hours hiding from an enemy patrol, waiting until they thought it was safe enough to get back on the road."

Winchester sighed, " I classify their return as a miracle."

"Yes it is," Hawkeye responded. "Now I'm hoping for another miracle, that Hope will really forgive me. She said the words to me a few minutes ago, but I know she didn't mean them."

"Well my friend, that's one miracle you are going to have to wait for," BJ told him.

* * *

Hope sat alone in the mess tent thinking about all that had happened to her that day. She would not have believed anyone that morning if they had told her the easiest part of the day would be leaving Cho Hee at the orphanage. She had never been more frightened in her life, hiding from the enemy soldiers. But Francis' declaration of love was something that had lasting consequences, something she could not easily escape. He was dear and precious to her and more than anything, she wanted to protect him from being hurt. Did that mean she loved him romantically? Whatever it meant, Hope would never betray him by telling anyone he was in love with her.

When Klinger spoke to her, she was so lost in thought that she didn't hear him. He touched her shoulder and she yelped, "What is it?" She looked up to see Klinger standing there. " Max, you startled me."

" Sorry Hope. I know it's really late, but the Korean couple wanted to see you and Father Mulcahy. They want you to see their new baby and thank you for bringing them here."

"Oh, that would be a wonderful ending for a pretty awful day! I would love to see their little one." She flashed him a weary smile and followed him to Post-Op. Francis was already there when she walked into Post-Op. She joined him at the beside of the new mother and baby.

She stood beside Francis and for a few moments and studied his face. As weary as she knew he must be, nothing could hide the pure joy in his eyes at seeing the baby.

"It's a little boy. Hope isn't he beautiful?"

Without thinking, she put her arm around his shoulder and gave him a quick hug."Yes, he is Francis. He's a lovely boy."

The baby's father asked Hope, "you want to hold baby?"

Hope smiled and answered, "Oh yes."

The priest noticed how her face glowed as she held the baby and talked softly to the boy. He let his imagination take him to a place where this woman he stood next to was his wife and she was holding their child. It was a sweet and wonderful place to be.

Hope turned and looked up at the priest's face. "Francis, do you think it would be appropriate to give this little fellow a blessing?"

He smiled and answered, "Yes, it certainly would." She handed the baby to him and he softly whispered. "God bless you little one and be with you and your parents all the days of your lives. Amen." He kissed the baby's forehead and handed the child back to the mother.

When Hope and Francis were outside of Post-Op, she struggled for the words she wanted to say to him and decided there was one thing she had to tell him right away. "Francis, I want you to know something right now."

"What is it?" He wondered if she reciprocated his affection, but at that moment it was too much to hope for.

"What you told me today… that you're in love with me…I will keep it to myself. It's private and personal between us. I care for you too much to betray your trust." She lightly kissed his cheek.

He was too overcome by his emotions to say more than a whispered, "Thank you."

"Good night Francis, rest well."

"Good night Hope. "

She left him standing there and as she walked toward the nurses' tent she heard another voice call out to her. "Good night Hope."

She turned around to see Hawkeye step out of the shadows and prayed he had not heard what she just told Francis. " Hope, I'm so thankful you made it back here safe and sound. I don't know what else to say."

"Don't say anything else now Hawkeye. Tomorrow is soon enough. Good night."

**Hawkeye let out his anger and jealousy out on Hope in the OR. When he finally realizes what the outcome of Hope and Francis' trip could have been, he's regretting his actions. Now he'll have to wait for Hope to really forgive him for being such an idiot.**

**Hope hasn't told Francis that she's in love with him, but she cares enough not to betray his trust. **

**Thanks for reading and supporting this story!**


	38. Chapter 38 On the Edge

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 38- ON THE EDGE**

**Disclaimer- **Alas, the characters of M*A*S*H do not belong to me. Only Hope is my own creation.

* * *

After yet another sleepless night, Hope stumbled toward Post-Op the next morning after a feeble attempt at eating breakfast. She was on duty with Major Winchester and said a silent "thank you" to Heaven for the favor of not having to work with Hawkeye.

"Good morning Major Winchester," she gave him a weary smile.

"Good morning Lieutenant. It seems to be quiet in Post-Op this morning. I'm sure you welcome it after yesterday's events. You and Father Mulcahy are indeed fortunate to have made it back to camp."

"Oh Lord yes! You heard about Father Mulcahy and I having to hide from an enemy patrol? I've never been more frightened in my life. Who told you about that?"

"Pierce told me and Hunnicutt last night after he returned from making his apology to you for his behavior during surgery. He indicated that his apology was not warmly received."

"That's true Major. It's hard for me to understand why he was so angry with me in the first place. He didn't give me a reason. I said the words "I forgive you", but I didn't really mean them. Given time, I will mean them. At least, I hope I will."

Hope decided to change the subject. She wanted to push Hawkeye out of her mind, if only for a brief time. "Major, before Father Mulcahy and I left the orphanage, we found out the little girl's name. It's Cho Hee, which means "beautiful and bright". Just thought you would like to know, since you seemed to be so fond of her."

Winchester smiled. "She certainly is beautiful and bright. She brought a little joy to this dismal place."

"Indeed, she did." Hope's eyes misted as she thought of Cho Hee. Leaving the child at the orphanage had been very difficult, but the things that happened afterwards eclipsed it in her memory until the moment she told Winchester the girl's name.

* * *

BJ sat on the edge of his bed working on a letter to Peg. Hawkeye was re-reading an old copy of his hometown newspaper, the _Crabapple Cove Chronicle. _He threw it on the floor. "I've read this thing so many times I know it by heart. I'm going over to Post-Op to check on one of my patients."

"Really?" BJ grinned. "Are you going to check on a patient or the nurse on duty who just happens to be Lieutenant Jones? "

Hawkeye shrugged, "it's a two fer. Check on a patient and a nurse at the same time."

"Good luck Hawk."

"With the patient or the nurse?"

BJ chuckled, "Who do you think?"

* * *

Hawkeye did check on his patient, who was doing fine. Hope was sitting at the other end of the Post-Op ward talking quietly with another patient. He saw a smile on her face and wondered if it would fade away if she saw him standing there. Taking a chance, he pulled up a chair and sat on the other side of the bed.

She looked up and nodded at Hawkeye, then turned her attention back to the patient and asked him, "Is there anything you need Private?"

The young man, who was probably eighteen but looked thirteen, grinned and answered, "No ma'am. Just want to chat with a pretty nurse while I had the chance."

Hawkeye told the young soldier, "Private, you are a very lucky fellow then. You got to talk with the prettiest one here. Take it easy and rest now."

"Thanks Doc."

Hope patted the young soldier's arm, stood up and said, "Alright, if you need me, just let me know." As she walked across the room, Hawkeye was right beside her.

"Hope, there's something I need."

She stopped and turned to face him with her arms crossed. "And what is that doctor?"

"I just want to know if you're alright."

"Define "alright" for me Hawkeye."

"Tell me how you're feeling."

"Oh God, not now. I don't think I can get through this shift, if I start talking about it. I'll fall apart and that's the last thing these patients need to see from someone who is supposed to be taking care of them."

He lightly touched her arm. "Later, then."

She was so tired and confused, that she wanted to lie down and sleep for days just to avoid having to think or explain anything to him or to anyone else. "O.K. Hawkeye, when I get off duty. If I can stay conscious that long."

"Please try for me, Hope. I really want to talk to you."

"For you, I'll try." She knew she had to start on the path to truly forgiving him for what he had said to her in surgery and possibly find out why he had been so angry with her to start with.

* * *

Hawkeye was waiting outside of Post-Op when Hope's shift was over. She was in such a hurry to get out of there that she nearly knocked him down when she opened the door. He quickly backed up several feet to avoid colliding with her.

"Whoa Hope! For someone who looks so tired you sure are moving fast."

"I'm sorry. I really wasn't trying to knock you down. Maybe if I had just one minute, one hour, one whatever to escape from …."

"Escape from what?"

"Me, Hawkeye. Me. I escape by sleep, which I unfortunately don't do so well.

For some reason, that answer made him uncomfortable and concerned about her mental state. Maybe if she would talk to him and tell him what was going on in her head, he could help her. Suddenly, what happened the day before took on a different meaning. It was just one thing among many things that had happened to Hope.

"Will you go somewhere and talk to me?" He took one of her hands like he was leading a small child across a busy street. She didn't fight him; she just let him take her where he wanted to go. It turned out to be the Swamp. No one else was there, so he felt they had some privacy.

Hope sat down on the chair that was between Hawkeye and BJ's beds. He sat on the edge of his bed.

"Hope why do you want to escape from yourself? It scares me when you say that."

"What do you mean Hawkeye?"

He hesitated before he answered her, looking down at his lap and then up at her. In almost a whisper he asked her, "Would you do something drastic?"

The question caused a frisson of fear to wash through Hope's body. "Oh my God, I don't know. Sometimes I just wish I could sleep for a long time to get away from my problems and my past. They follow me wherever I go and new ones march in step with the old ones."

Before he asked the next question, Hope could see the distress on his face. He pulled her up from the chair and sat her next to him on the bed and asked, "Am I one of you problems?"

Yes he was. "Hawkeye, I feel pulled and pushed by you and someone else."

He took her face in his hands. "I don't want to be a problem. I love you." He wanted to kiss her, but held back and moved his hands away from her face.

"You say you love me Hawkeye. Then tell me why you were so angry with me yesterday. I don't know what I did to upset you. It felt like you had reached in my chest and twisted my heart in two, especially after what Francis and I had been through before we got back to camp."

"Oh God ,Hope I acted like a jealous idiot. I'm so sorry I hurt you. Please tell me who is the other person pushing and pulling you?" He was certain he knew the answer already.

Her heart started racing. She had promised Francis that she wouldn't tell anyone else that he was in love with her. She didn't want to lie to Hawkeye, but she couldn't tell him the truth. Another wave of fear washed over her again and she started trembling.

When he saw Hope's reaction, he let go of trying to get an answer from her about the other person right then. It didn't mean he stopped wanting the answer, but he didn't want to do anything to push her over the edge of doing only God knew what.

Out of the corner of her eye, Hope saw Major Houlihan striding across the compound toward the Swamp. "Uh oh. Here comes Major Houlihan. I think somebody is about to get chewed out. Wanna flip a coin to see if she's after you or me?"

"No need for that Hope. She's gunning for me. She promised me she would have words with me about the way I treated you in OR. "

Hope sighed and pushed her hair out of her eyes. "Oh yeah, she did promise you that. If there's one thing I've learned about Major Houlihan is the fact that she believes in keeping her promises." She reached over and gave Hawkeye a peck on the cheek and grinned. "Be brave soldier."

He smiled when Hope told him that. In that short silly sentence, he saw a glimmer of the woman he fell in love with.

The door to the Swamp flew open and Major Houlihan came in at full throttle. She started to tear into Hawkeye, but saw Hope sitting on the bed next to him.

"Leave Lieutenant, I want to speak to Captain Pierce in private."

"Yes ma'am." Hope jumped up from Hawkeye's bed and left the Swamp like she'd been shot out of a cannon.

As she walked away from the Swamp, Hope couldn't help but hear the head nurse lay into Hawkeye, "Now Pierce…"

* * *

BJ and Major Winchester passed her as she headed toward the mess tent. Hope stopped them. "I strongly advise you two to not go to the Swamp right now. Hurricane Major Houlihan is now there in full force blasting Hawkeye for the way he talked to me in OR yesterday. If you do go there, you're taking your life in your hands."

Winchester chuckled. "Perhaps it would be safer to brave dinner in the mess tent than Margaret Houlihan in full fury." Winchester, BJ and Hope headed as a trio to dinner.

Colonel Potter and Father Mulcahy were already seated eating dinner when BJ, Hope and Major Winchester joined them. Hope sat directly across from Mulcahy, His eyes brightened and he smiled at her. She returned his smile.

"Where's Pierce?" Colonel Potter asked.

"Oh he should be blowing in any minute after Hurricane Margaret is through with him," BJ chuckled.

"Oh my!" Mulcahy whispered. He knew exactly why Margaret was chewing out Hawkeye.

Hope sighed, "Well I sure hope she's the last one to chew out Hawkeye about yesterday. Enough is enough. It's over."

"Yes, Hope's right," Francis added.

Hawkeye walked in the mess tent and sat down at the only spot left at the table where Hope was sitting. It was next to Mulcahy. She was sitting on the opposite side between BJ and Winchester.

"Well Hawk, I see you survived Hurricane Houlihan. Are you going to eat?"BJ asked him.

"Uh not now, I just had to eat a full course of crow compliments of Margaret Houlihan."

Everyone at the table chuckled except for Francis and Hope. Even though he had been very upset with Hawkeye for talking the way he did to Hope in the OR, he felt it was a time for forgiveness and moving on. Francis loved Hope and wanted to protect her, but he knew he had very little control over what other people did to each other.

Hope just wanted the drama about the incident in OR to be over. There was enough drama left for a life time, feeling pulled between two men who loved her. She put her fork down and pushed the tray in front of her a few inches away, looking down at the table.

"Lieutenant, you have got to eat something. I've watched you and I know you haven't been eating. You can't keep going like that, "Colonel Potter told her in a fatherly tone of voice.

She gave him a weak smile. "Sir is that an order?"

He returned her smile and said, "Yes it is. It's for your own good and the good of the unit. We need you."

"Yes sir, I'll eat," she whispered and pulled her tray back. Hope ate so slowly that she was the last person in the mess tent to finish her meal. Most of the personnel that had been there were long gone by then. Both Mulcahy and Hawkeye stayed with her until she was through.

When she had eaten about half the food on the tray, she put the fork down. "I'm through. I don't think I can choke down another bite. Please don't make me." She looked at both men with pleading eyes.

Francis wanted nothing more than to take her somewhere private and hold her for as long as she'd let him. He was beginning to become very concerned about her well being. It seemed that her spirit was starting to retreat to a distant place where she would be disconnected from everything. A place that she might not be able to come back from.

If he only knew that Hawkeye shared that concern. Hawkeye wanted to take her back to the Swamp and let her sleep in his arms to keep her mind and heart safe. He was so afraid that she was going to slip over a precipice and he wouldn't be able to catch her.

Hope got up to leave the table. "Excuse me Francis, Hawkeye. I'm going to lie down for a while."

"Let me walk you to the nurses' tent." Both men said it in a chorus.

She gave them a weak smile and said, "It's alright, I'm a big girl. I can get there on my own." Then she drifted out of the mess tent.

Father Mulcahy and Hawkeye Pierce looked at each other. They were rivals for Hope's affections, but one thing united them. They were both very concerned about her mental as well as physical well being.

* * *

After dinner, Colonel Potter returned to his office. Since he had left the mess tent, he had struggled with the decision he was about to make. Finally he put aside the internal struggle to do what he thought was best for Lieutenant Jones. He placed a call to Sidney Freedman.

**I understand that some readers will find this chapter lacking in the intensity of the previous two, however there are consequences to be dealt with after great drama has occurred. Internal struggles cannot remain hidden away forever. This chapter was like the eye of a hurricane- calm in the middle before the other side of the storm blows in!**

**Thanks to all the loyal readers who have been reading this story. I am very grateful for your support and hope you will continue on the journey with me. Much more to come.**


	39. Chapter 39 Don't Let Go

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 39- DON'T LET GO**

**Disclaimer- **Only Lt. Hope Jones and her family are my own creation.

* * *

"_Hold on to me, don't give up. Don't let go!" He was losing his grip on the hand. Its fingers slipped away one by one until the hand disconnected itself from his. In disbelief, he cried out "No! No! Don't go! Don't give up!"_

Hawkeye sat up bathed in sweat and gasping for air. He trembled so hard, his bed shook.

BJ got up and sat on the edge of Hawkeye's bed, gently touching his friend's shoulder. "What's the matter? You were screaming bloody murder."

Hawkeye held his head in his hands and mumbled, "I had a nightmare, awful nightmare. I tried to hold the hand, but it slipped away from me. "

"Whose hand?" BJ asked softly.

Instead of telling his friend who the hand belonged to, he described it. Hawkeye felt if he said the name, it would make the nightmare come true. "It was small and soft."

"It's o.k. Hawk. You don't have to tell me who the hand belonged to. I know. I know." His heart went out to Hawkeye, but he had no idea how to comfort him.

* * *

Father Mulcahy had no friend present when he awoke from his nightmare.

_The figure walked away from him in a mist, neither hearing nor responding to his call to stop and turn around. T_he _closer he got to it, the farther away it seemed. Then the figure suddenly disappeared._

He sat up and whispered, "Oh God, what did that dream mean? Please tell me Lord!"

* * *

The PA system crackled to life. "Sorry folks, your regularly scheduled nightmare has been interrupted by the real one. Incoming wounded in compound!"

Hope rolled over to get out of her bunk and hit the floor, not with her feet but with her left hip. She didn't realize that she had been laying on the edge of her bunk and when she started to sit up, she fell off instead. "Ow, dammit!" She got up as quickly as she could to keep from being trampled by the other nurses hurrying out of the tent.

She was the last nurse to enter the OR. Major Houlihan shouted, "Lieutenant, what took you so long to get in here?"

Hope limped over to the head nurse. "Sorry I'm so slow. I fell out of my bunk. I didn't realize that I was so close to the edge when I turned over. "

"Go assist Colonel Potter," the major ordered.

When Hope arrived at the Colonel's operating table, he asked her softly, "Lieutenant, are you alright?"

"Yes sir, but I'll probably have a bruise the size of Texas. Just don't ask me to dance later." She grinned at him.

He smiled. "Get it looked at when we're done here."

"Yes sir. I'll do that."

Hope looked down at the patient on the table and froze. He had Asian facial features. Colonel Potter called her name and she looked up at him. "I'm sorry, sir."

"It's alright, just stay focused."

"Yes sir."

Francis was standing nearby when Hope froze up. He felt sure that for the briefest moment she was reliving the experience of hiding from the enemy patrol. For the rest the session of OR, he tried to stay close to her as much as possible, hoping his presence might help her stay calm and focused on working with Colonel Potter.

* * *

Six hours later, she limped outside. Francis had walked out of the OR with her. "I heard Colonel Potter tell you to get that hip looked at."

Hope rubbed her hip and winced. "Yeah, he did. I'll ask BJ or Major Winchester to take a look at it."

He was relieved to hear her choice of doctors to examine her. Even though Hawkeye was a doctor, Francis didn't want the man looking at any portion of Hope's body for any reason. Yes, he was jealous of Hawkeye. It wasn't a very priestly emotion, but he didn't care. He loved Hope.

BJ had just walked outside as Hope finished her sentence. "Need a doctor? Heard you took a tumble out of bed. Want me to take a look at your hip?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Come on with me to Pre-Op and I'll take a look." As Hope was following BJ to Pre-Op, she saw Francis following them out of the corner of her eye. She stopped, turned to face him and gently said, "Wait on me? This shouldn't take long."

He hadn't even thought about the fact that he was following her into Pre-Op where she would need to get partially undressed for BJ to examine her. When Hope asked him to wait outside, it dawned on him the reason why she had asked him to do so. His face turned red and he was glad there was no one around to see it.

* * *

An hour later, Hope was lying on the bed in the VIP tent with an ice pack on her hip. BJ had told what she'd already figured out. She was going to have a humdinger of a bruise and be really sore for a while, but nothing worse than that. Also, he told Major Houlihan that Hope shouldn't be sleeping on a top bunk but he didn't tell the major what he knew about the way Hope tossed and turned in her sleep. He sure didn't want to have to explain about the time Hope slept in the Swamp and Hawkeye had to sleep with her to hold her still.

"Do you need anything else before I go?" he asked Hope.

"No, I don't think so…Wait…yes, I do. A cup of the wonderful 4077th's coffee. It may not cure me and hopefully it won't kill me."

BJ chuckled, "Well I see your sense of humor survived the fall. One cup of coffee coming up."

"Thanks BJ."

He turned around and almost walked smack into Hawkeye carrying a tray full of food and a cup of coffee. "My god Hawkeye, do you always have to sneak up on people like that?"

Hawkeye shrugged and grinned. "It's a gift. Inherited it from my mother's side of the family."

Hope couldn't help herself. She flopped over on her back and started giggling at the two men. "Ow! That hurts!"

In a mock serious tone, BJ ordered Hawkeye, "Behave yourself around my patient!"

Hawkeye ducked his head like a little boy who been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "O.K. doctor. I'll be good." Then he whispered in BJ's ear, "Now scram, would you?"

"See you later Hope. Call me if you need anything." BJ left the tent.

"O.K., thanks BJ."

She sat up and took the tray from Hawkeye. He sat down on the edge of the bed, leaned lightly against her and whispered, "Are you alright?"

Hope looked up at him. "Yes, I'm alright. My hip's a little sore and my pride's wounded, but I'll be o.k."

"That's not what I mean, Hope."

She sat the tray on the nightstand beside the bed, but held onto the coffee cup. "Well, what do you mean?"

"Are you alright in here?" He lightly tapped on her forehead.

What could she tell him? She made a list of things in her mind. "Hmm…let's see. One stupid affair, unplanned pregnancy, miscarriage, left home, joined the Army, sent to Korea, see young men die before their time, was in jeep accident, left Cho Hee at the orphanage, hid from enemy to keep from being captured and two men are in love with me. Everything in my noggin' is just swell. I don't eat, can't sleep. Just wonderful." She felt exhausted from the mental litany she just went through. It made her head hurt.

"Hope? Are you going to answer me?" Hawkeye took her chin and turned her face so they were looking eye to eye. "Hope?"

She saw genuine fear in his eyes. If she lied to him, he wouldn't believe her. "What do you want me to say Hawkeye?"

Memories of the nightmare he had were fresh and vivid in his mind. He pulled her closed and buried his face in her hair. "For God's sake Hope, stop evading the question and just answer me."

She sagged against him, sighed and then swallowed hard. "Uh, I…" Someone knocked on the door. Hope sat up and called out, "Come in."

Francis came in carrying a tray with a cup of coffee. "Hi, I brought you some…." His face fell when he saw Hawkeye sitting on the edge of the bed leaning against Hope. "I see someone else had the same idea."

Once again, Hope felt like she was caught in the middle between Hawkeye and Francis. How could she them that they were a large part of her problem? She sat up and scooted a couple of inches away from Hawkeye and managed a smile. "Thanks Francis, great minds think alike."

She reached out to take the tray from him and held it in her lap, not knowing anything else to do with it. Now she wished both of the men would just go away. Hope wanted to shout, "Go away! You two are pulling me apart."

Instead she softly told them, "You're both really sweet to me, but could you leave right now? My hip is throbbing and I just want to sleep for a little bit."

Before he got up from the edge of her bed, Hawkeye kissed her on the forehead. He really didn't care if Mulcahy saw him kiss her. "See you later then."

She smiled at him and responded, "O.K."

"Well, I guess I should go too." Francis patted her shoulder and took the tray from her lap.

"See you **both** later." It was difficult for Hope not to sound relieved that the two men were leaving her alone.

* * *

She slept for an hour before a knock on the tent's door woke her up. "Hmm…who is it?" Hope called out, half awake.

"Hope, its Max. You got a big package today. Can I come in?"

She sat up and brushed the hair out of her eyes. "Sure."

He walked in holding a large box and seemed excited as a kid at Christmas. He handed it to her. Hope realized he was dying for her to open it. She looked at the return address on it. "It's from Bonwit-Teller. Must be something expensive. I wonder who's sending me something like this."

She opened the box and pulled out a beautiful, strapless black satin dress embroidered with silver leaves around the neck and hem. "Wow!" A card had fallen out when she had pulled the dress from the box. She picked it up and read it. Any delight she felt about the dress evaporated immediately. The card was signed, _"With love, from Anthony. Miss you."_

"Hope, don't you want to try it on? I bet you'll look like in a million bucks in it."

She carefully laid the dress on the bed and looked up at Max with a forced smile. "Maybe later."

"O. K., but when you do, I want to be the first one to see you with it on."

"Sure Max, You'll get the first peek. Thanks for bringing me the package."

"You're welcome. See you later."

After he left, Hope fell apart. The very idea of putting on that dress made her flesh crawl. It wasn't the dress; it was the man who sent it to her. What was he trying to do? She wanted to scream, but she was afraid the whole camp would come running to her tent. Instead, she buried her face in a pillow and cried loudly.

* * *

Colonel Potter called Father Mulcahy to his office. Francis wondered what the Colonel wanted with him.

Potter wasted no time getting to the point. "Padre, you've probably spent more time with Lieutenant Jones than anybody else since she's been here. Do you think she's up to working here? Understand me; I am not questioning her nursing skills." The Colonel hesitated. "I mean is she emotionally up to working here? There are too many lives at stake if she can't cut it."

The priest looked at his commanding officer. How could he answer him truthfully? There was so much he knew about her past that he didn't feel he could tell Potter. It would be like breaking the seal of a confession, which he would never do. More than that, he loved her and wanted to protect her.

Before Francis could answer him, the Colonel said, "She needs help, more than the kind any of us here can give her. That's why I called Sidney Freedman. Since you're the chaplain here, I thought you should know."

The priest was relieved to hear that the Colonel wasn't going to have her sent home or transferred out right away. Potter noticed the visible expression of relief on Mulcahy's face.

Was something was going on with Mulcahy and the Lieutenant? This was getting more complicated by the minute. Maybe he should transfer her out after all, but he had already called Sidney. He would just have to wait and see what happened.

**Hang in there Colonel Potter, Father Mulcahy and Hope; Sidney's on his way. I do wonder if Hope can hold herself together until he gets to the 4077****th****?**

**Thanks for reading!**


	40. Chapter 40 Dark Night of the Soul

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 40- DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL**

**Disclaimer- **The characters from M*A*S*H were created by people smarter than me. However, Hope Jones is my very own creation.

* * *

The black dress lay on the bed. Hope stared at it for a long time. It was as if Anthony was there in the tent with her, mocking her, teasing her. She had to make him go away. Hope put dress over her arm and walked out into the compound.

Sergeant Rizzo, the Cajun king of the motor pool, stood outside the mess tent with an ever present cigar in his mouth. Hope approached him. "Hi there Sergeant…Rizzo?"

He took the cigar out of his mouth and smiled. "Why yes ma'am, at your service Lieutenant. You're the new nurse, aren't you? From Georgia?"

"Yes, that's right. I have a question for you Sergeant."

"Ma'am?"

"Can I borrow your lighter for a minute?"

Now Rizzo was really puzzled by her request to borrow his lighter. "Uh ma'am, if you'll excuse me for sayin' this; why is a pretty gal like you takin' up smokin'?"

"Oh, I'm not gonna smoke. I just need to borrow it for a minute for something else. Do you mind?" She laid on her Southern drawl for all she was worth as a means of persuading him to give her the lighter.

"Well, o.k." He handed her the lighter.

"Thanks, I'll have it back to you in a little bit." She walked away from him.

Rizzo scratched his head. Why was this woman, who hadn't spoken two words to him since she came to the unit, asking to borrow his lighter? "Women," he muttered. "I'll never figure them out in a million years."

He looked up and saw Hope standing in the middle of the compound holding his lighter in one hand and the black dress in the other. He watched the scene that unfolded in disbelief. She flicked the lighter open and with the flame from it set the dress she was holding on fire.

Rizzo dropped his cigar on the ground and started hollering, "Lieutenant, what are you doin'? "

Hope didn't respond. She stood there holding the burning dress up in the air with her left hand, the flames licking up toward her arm.

"Oh my Gawd!" Now the Cajun was frantic. "Help! Somebody, anybody! Help!"

Klinger was the first person to respond. As he ran toward her, he started yelling, "Hope, put the dress down! Come on. You don't wanna get burned. Come on, put it down."

Hope saw him running toward her and heard him calling her, but she held on to the dress.

Major Winchester approached her carefully from the other side. He kept the tone of his voice soft and calm. "Lieutenant, put down the dress." When she didn't respond, he called her again; this time using her first name. "Hope, come now, put the dress down." She turned to look at him with a vacant expression. Klinger grabbed the burning dress from her hand, threw it on the ground and stomped out the flames.

By this time, she was surrounded by Colonel Potter, Major Houlihan, Hawkeye, BJ and Father Mulcahy. "Why are all of you standing here?" She saw the faces around her full of concern, but couldn't understand why they crowded around her.

Potter pulled Major Houlihan and BJ aside. "Margaret, take her to Pre-Op and sedate her. Winchester, Hunnicutt look at her left arm and hand to see how badly she's burned." They led Hope away as if she were a small child.

He turned to Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy. "Now you two, do you have any idea what the…."

The sound of an approaching jeep interrupted him. When he saw Sidney Freeman riding in that jeep, he sighed, "Thank God, it's Sidney and not a minute too soon.

* * *

There was a distant, muffled sound of voices. It was hard to tell who was speaking, they all blended together. And there was pain, throbbing and raw. The side of her left hand and forearm felt like it was on fire. It wouldn't leave her alone. She couldn't force it away, it was insistent. In her mind, she told the pain to go away over and over. It refused to retreat. Finally she cried out, "Damn it all to hell, I said go away!"

"Easy, easy Hope. It's o.k." The voice was gentle and familiar to her.

Hope struggled to remember whose voice she was hearing. She took a chance and called out a name. "BJ?"

He leaned over and whispered, "Yep, give the lady first prize."

She smiled at him for a millisecond and opened one eye to confirm that it was really BJ. "Hey, where am I? And why does my left hand and forearm feel like they're on fire."

He hesitated. How could he tell her what had happened? "Hope, you don't remember?"

She struggled to remember anything that happened before the moment the pain woke her up. "Not really."

"Look, you really need to rest. We'll talk about it later. O.K.?"

Major Houlihan gave Hope a morphine shot. In a matter of moments, Hope was asleep again.

BJ joined Colonel Potter and Sidney Freeman who were standing at the foot of her bed. "I didn't know what to tell her. She says she doesn't remember anything before she woke up."

"She'll remember. Right now her mind has retreated to some place to protect her from those memories. First deal with the physical pain, then with the mental pain, "Sidney told him.

"Sidney's right BJ," Colonel Potter added. "Let's get through this one step at a time."

Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy stood right outside Post-Op. If they weren't two grown men, they would have looked like two teenage boys anxiously waiting to see the same girl.

The minute that BJ, Sidney and Colonel Potter walked outside, both Hawkeye and Francis started to go inside. Potter held up his hand and physically blocked their way. "One at a time. Don't touch her; don't try to talk to her. And do not stay long. Is that understood?"

Hawkeye and Francis answered in chorus, "Yes, Colonel."

* * *

Potter, BJ and Sidney headed for the office, leaving Hawkeye and the priest to figure out who would go into see Hope first. "Well Father, who's going in first to see Hope? Should we flip a coin?"

Francis Mulcahy wasn't feeling very gracious or generous, but he didn't act on his feelings. He just said, "Hawkeye, you go see Hope first. Just remember Colonel Potter said not to stay long."

"O.K., thanks. I won't stay long." Hawkeye went inside Post-Op. It wasn't hard to find the bed where Hope lay sleeping. She was the only female patient there. He sat down in the chair next to her bed. The first thought in his mind was about the nightmare. It had come true. She had let go. Would she ever come back?

A strand of hair was lying in the middle of her forehead. Hawkeye reached out to brush it back and then remembered Colonel Potter's orders not to touch her. It was nearly impossible for him to follow that order, but he pulled his hand back. He sat there for ten minutes, not moving a muscle and barely breathing. Finally he gave in to the desire to touch her. He leaned over and lightly kissed her cheek. She whimpered and whispered, "Who is it?"

"Hope, it's Hawkeye."

"Hawkeye?"

"Yes."

"Go away Hawkeye. Please go away."

He felt like someone had plunged a knife into his heart. "Alright Hope, I'm going."

* * *

When Hawkeye came outside, Francis couldn't help but see the heartache in his eyes. Even though the surgeon was his rival, he couldn't help feeling sorry for him. It also caused him concern as to what kind of reaction Hope might have to his own presence near her.

Francis stood looking at Hope, the woman who had captured his heart, for several minutes before he sat down in the chair by her bed. For a while, he watched the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed , then he closed his eyes and prayed silently. Remembering the colonel's orders not to stay long, he got up to leave and placed a rosary in Hope's right hand. She wasn't Catholic, but he thought it might bring her comfort. She moaned and whispered, "Take it away. I don't want it." Her fingers opened and the rosary fell to the floor. Francis picked it up and hurried out of Post-Op, his eyes flooding with tears.

* * *

"Sherman, how well do you know Lieutenant Jones?"

"Well Sidney, she's only been here a little over three months and I haven't spent much time with her. The two people you need to talk to are Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy. They've been with her more than anyone in the unit." The colonel paused briefly and then added, "You might want to speak to Corporal Klinger as well. He and the lieutenant get along well."

"Klinger!"

"You bellowed? O magnanimous leader!" The Lebanese corporal was in the colonel's office almost instantly.

"Oh cut the crap, corporal," Potter huffed. "Sidney and I have some questions for you about Lieutenant Jones.

Klinger realized this was no time for levity. He was as concerned about Hope as everyone else was. She was his friend. "What do you want to know sirs?"

Sidney asked the first question. "What happened right before the incident in compound with the lieutenant and the burning dress?"

"I brought her the box that the dress came in. At first she seemed excited about it when she saw where it came from; Bonwit-Teller. Their dresses aren't off the rack, Sears and Roebuck catalog stuff. Then she looked at the card that came with it and her face fell. She tried to smile, but I could see something was wrong, but I didn't tell her that."

"Do you know where the card is?"

"I guess it's still in the VIP tent along with the box. I'll go look for it and bring it back as soon as I find it." Klinger left the office in search of the card.

"Sherman, what was the lieutenant doing in the VIP tent? I would think she would be using the nurse's tent as her quarters."

"She does. She sleeps in one of the top bunks. We had incoming wounded in the middle of the night and when she rolled over to get out of the bunk, she fell and hit the ground hard with her left hip. To make a long story short, Captain Hunnicutt had her go and lay down on the bed in the VIP tent after the session in OR was over."

Five minutes later, he was back in Potter's office with the card in hand. He handed it to Sidney who read it aloud. _"With love from Anthony. Miss you."_

"Klinger, do you know who this Anthony person is?"

"No sir, I've never heard Hope mention him. Maybe Father Mulcahy or Hawkeye might know." The corporal looked at Sidney and asked the question that was on Colonel Potter's mind as well. "Major Freedman, do you think she'll be alright?"

"I sure hope so. I can't give any guarantees, but I'll sure do my best."

Colonel Potter patted Sidney on the shoulder. "You always do."

* * *

Father Mulcahy sat at the desk in his tent, his head bowed in prayer. Over and over the only words he uttered were, "Why Lord, why?" He pulled off his collar and crucifix and flung them on the ground. Why had God called him to the priesthood and then brought Hope, the woman he had fallen in love with, into his life? He had always been there to counsel others in their "dark night of the soul", but where was someone to counsel him? He was going to have to see Colonel Hollister, the division chaplain, very soon; but he was afraid to leave camp now. He didn't want to leave until he was sure Hope would recover. In his heart, he felt partially responsible for her breakdown. An irrational emotion overtook him; he felt that if he left camp now when he returned she might be gone forever. He didn't have the strength left to face that.

* * *

Hawkeye was on his third glass of "Swamp swill". He wasn't drunk enough yet. He wasn't numb enough to forget the sting of Hope telling him to go away. He wanted to feel nothing. He had pushed her too far and she went over the precipice. Now she might never come back and it was his fault.

BJ and Winchester entered the Swamp. He looked at them with bleary eyes and told them, "It's my fault. It's my fault she's where she is." Tears ran down his face.

BJ sat down beside him. "Look Hawk, I think whatever is going on with Hope started long before she got here. Something just happened that caused her to snap here and now."

"I should have left her alone, but I want her. I love her. Is that so wrong?" Hawkeye asked his friend.

Charles Winchester, who rarely agreed with either of his tent mates on any subject added, "Look Pierce, you know I hate to admit that Hunnicutt is right about anything. But in this instance, I believe he is. Something was going on in her life long before she got here; it just finally came to a head. Step back and let Sidney Freedman help her work it out. If you truly love her, you will do it."

Hawkeye looked down, then back up at Winchester. "I do love her and I'll leave her alone. Will you two help me make sure I can do it?"

BJ and Winchester looked at each other and nodded in agreement. BJ told him, "Hawk, when you think you can't help yourself and you want to be around her, just remember you asked us to help you leave Hope alone. I've got a feeling it's going to be a lot harder than you think."

**Now it's finally happened; Hope has gone over the edge. Everyone involved has a long way to go in the healing process. In some ways, it will be harder on Hawkeye and Francis than Hope.**

**Thank goodness Sidney arrived when he did!**

**Once again, thanks to all the readers of this story. Your support and reviews mean the world to me!**


	41. Chapter 41 Questions

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 41-QUESTIONS**

**Disclaimer- **Sidney Freeman, Hawkeye, Father Mulcahy and all the other M*A*S*H characters are not my own. Only Hope and her family were created by this writer.

* * *

The man's face was kind, but unfamiliar. Who was this man sitting beside her bed? Why on earth was he studying her so intently? Part of her wanted to shout for him to go away and leave her alone like she did to Hawkeye. She closed her eyes again; maybe he would be gone when she opened them. She opened her eyes, but he was still there. Hope sighed and said, "Excuse me sir, who are you and why are you sitting by my bed?"

The man smiled and in a calm and soothing tone of voice said, "Hello, my name is Sidney Freedman. Colonel Potter wanted me to come to see you. He thought the doctors here might need someone else on the team in helping you get well."

Hope saw an oak leaf cluster pinned to the collar of his shirt and realized he was a major. "Major Freedman, why would the doctors here need any help with a patient? There are four of them. Isn't that enough?"

"Call me Sidney. To answer your question, they called me in because I'm a different kind of doctor. I am a psychiatrist."

Hope took in what Sidney told her. "So you're here because I've "dropped my basket"?

He raised his eyebrows. He heard lots of expressions for having a nervous breakdown, but this was a new one for him.

She saw the puzzled look on his face. "You've never heard that expression before? Where I come from, it's one some elderly ladies use when someone has a nervous breakdown. They whisper it to each other when they think no one else is listening. "Did you hear about poor ol' Sister So and So? Well I heard she dropped her basket and had to go away."

He couldn't help but smile. There was some spark of life, a sense of humor there inside Lieutenant Jones. The flame was very low, but not extinguished. He considered that a positive sign.

"Where are you from exactly Lieutenant? That accent of yours indicates that you're from somewhere in the South."

"I'm from Georgia. Lived there all my life until the Army whisked me away to this beauty spot."

"What's your family like?"

"My dad's a minister. My mom's a high school English teacher. I have two sisters, Faith and Charity. And a first cousin named Tommy who is like the brother I never had."

He looked at her chart. "And your name is Hope. Now I get it; Faith, Hope and Charity. May I call you Hope?"

"Sure."

"Hope; I really like that name. It has a good meaning."

"I sure don't feel full of hope right now but thanks anyway." She blinked, having difficulty keeping her eyes open. The morphine she had been given for pain was working its way through her system.

"Are you getting tired? We can talk later. It's up to you." Sidney was determined not to push Hope to tell him more than she was ready for him to know.

"Yes, I am. My eyelids are having this irresistible urge to close."

"Well you let them close now and I'll talk to you later."

"O.K." She gave into her heavy eyelids and closed them. Hope was asleep before Sidney got past the foot of her bed.

He couldn't help but notice both Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy looking in the direction of Hope's bed. Both were with other patients, but their attention was focused on her. Sidney felt sure that those two men were at least one key to the mystery of why Hope Jones, as she put it, "dropped her basket." He wanted to have a long talk with each one of them.

* * *

Sidney walked in the Swamp and sat on the edge of the spare bed.

BJ was sitting on his bed darning a sock. "How was your first session with Hope?"

"Very brief, but interesting. She talked about her family a little bit and taught me a new expression for a nervous breakdown." He couldn't help but smile when he thought about it.

"What would that be?"

"Hope says she "dropped her basket". That's one she says some elderly ladies in her part of the country use when someone has had a nervous breakdown."

BJ chuckled, "It's good to know that there's a sense of humor still deep down inside of her."

"Now if she can just hang on to that sense of humor while we try to pull out the other things that she's stuffed deep down inside that aren't so good. BJ, I want to ask you a question. If you don't want to answer it, I understand."

"O.k. Sidney, shoot. Ask away."

"Is Hawkeye involved with Hope? He was in Post-Op with a patient while I was talking to Hope. I couldn't help but notice the longing look on his face directed at her."

"Involved? I know he would like to be. They aren't really a couple, but he's told me he's in love with her. He seems changed somewhat, given his past womanizing ways". He hasn't pursued any of the other nurses since she's been here. I jokingly told him he had become downright boring."

Sidney gave this statement some thought. From what he knew of Hawkeye, it did seem like a change. He would definitely have a talk with him.

The opportunity for this talk presented itself much sooner than he expected when Hawkeye entered the Swamp just then. He didn't say anything to BJ or Sidney but made a bee line for the still and poured himself a drink. He downed most of it in one swallow and down on the edge of his bed, holding the glass tightly in his hand.

"Hawkeye, take a walk with me?" Sidney asked him.

"Yeah, sure." He sat the martini glass down on the table beside his bed and followed Sidney out into the compound. They had only walked a few feet away from the Swamp when Hawkeye stopped him. "Alright Sidney, this is about Hope? Right?"

"Yes Hawkeye, I'll get straight to the point. This is about Hope. Colonel Potter says that you and Father Mulcahy know her better than anyone else here. You two have spent the most time with her. What was she like when she arrived?"

The surgeon took his memory back to that first day. Hope had arrived in the middle of the chaos of triage and somehow managed to get through that OR session intact. What he remembered most was her sense of humor and her beautiful green eyes.

"Hawkeye? Would you share what you're thinking with me? Unfortunately, they didn't offer a course in mindreading in the med school I attended."

"Sorry Sidney. She seemed happy enough as anyone could being sent to the hell and chaos of this place. It was obvious she didn't have any experience working in these conditions, but she coped. Her sense of humor…." He paused and smiled. "…it's unique. And she sings like an angel."

The psychiatrist asked Hawkeye the next question, already knowing the answer. "Are you in love with her?"

"You don't beat around the bush, do you Sidney? The answer is yes. I am in love with her."

"Have you told her how you feel about her?"

"Yes. "

"How did she respond to that?"

"With mixed emotions. The minute I would think she was interested in me, she would switch off. She told me she was afraid of being hurt again. For a while I had no idea what she meant by that."

"She eventually told you what she meant?"

"Yes, she did. Someone had hurt her badly and left her to deal with the aftermath." Hawkeye shook his head. "I'm not sure I should be the one to give you the details. Hope has only told two people about it; me and Father Mulcahy. It's up to her."

"Sidney?"

"What is it Hawkeye?"

"Is she going to be alright?" He had a desperate need for the answer. Hawkeye couldn't hide his anxiety about Hope's recovery

Sidney sighed. "Hawkeye, I can't give you a guarantee that she'll be alright. You can see the results of your work with patients right away. You repair the damage, sew them up and send them on their way. In my work, it takes time and the results are uncertain. "

* * *

Hope drifted in and out of sleep. She heard a soft voice nearby. The person was not speaking English. It sounded like Latin to her from the two years she had studied it in high school. Then she heard another voice, it was the voice of a young man. Francis had just given him absolution. "Thank you Father for hearing my confession. I feel much better now."

"You're welcome my son. Rest now."

She opened her eyes fully to see Father Mulcahy standing by the bed of the patient next to her. Now she realized he had been hearing the other patient's confession and was glad she hadn't heard anything the young soldier had told the priest. That would have been like eavesdropping on someone's secrets.

Francis stopped at the foot of her bed, not saying anything. Hope wanted to call him over to her, but she hesitated. She had no idea what to say to him, but when he started to walk away she called him back. He spun around and was kneeling beside her bed in an instant.

"Hope, what is it? Do you need something?" his voice sounded anxious.

"Yes Francis, I do?"

"What is it? I'll be glad to do anything for you." The eagerness in his voice was obvious.

Hope almost chuckled. "Would get up off your knees and sit in a chair?"

"Oh my! Yes I can do that." He looked embarrassed and a little flustered as he sat down in the chair.

"That's better Francis. I want to apologize to you for the way I acted before. I was in a lot of pain and very frightened."

"I understand Hope. It's alright." He didn't tell her that she had broken his heart by refusing the Rosary. He loved her and had only wanted to give her a means of comfort.

"Francis?"

"Yes?"

"What happened to me? Why do I have a burned hand and arm?"

His heart plummeted. Hope really had no memory of what happened before she wound up in Post-Op. Should he tell her what happened? He felt he owed her no less than the truth. "You had an accident and got burned."

"How did that happen?"

Now the priest knew he was wading into deep waters. He couldn't lie to her. Oh how he wished Sidney Freedman was in Post-Op! He prayed silently, _"Lord, please help me tell her what happened without upsetting her."_

He resisted the strong desire to take her right hand and hold it as he talked to her. "Hope, you… you took a lighter and set a dress on fire. You held on to it while it was burning. Major Winchester tried to get you to throw it down, but it was as if you didn't hear him. Klinger grabbed it from you and put out the fire."

"Why would I set a dress on fire? I don't understand." Hope sat up and looked down at her lap for a few moments, struggling to remember the incident. When she looked back up at Francis, her eyes were filled with confusion and fear.

He struggled to remain calm and leaned forward to whisper, "I don't know, I don't know." He placed his forehead against hers for a second and then sat back. "Hope, I'm so sorry." Now he regretted telling her what happened, but he loved her too much to hide the truth from her.

"Francis? I did something bad, didn't I?" She started to cry.

Her question broke his heart. The desire to touch her became overwhelming. He took her right hand and held it tightly. "Oh dearest one, you didn't do anything wrong." It was the first time he had called her anything other than Hope or Lieutenant and he wondered if she realized it. If the circumstances and the place were different, he would have taken her in his arms to comfort her; to make everything alright.

He let go of her hand and touched her cheek. "Hope, I think you need to talk to Sidney again. Please let me go get him." Francis sat on the edge of her bed and very gently helped her lay down. Two desires churned inside him at that moment; the first one was to kiss her and the second one was to lie down beside her and hold her close.

She nodded her consent and he left Post-Op looking for Sidney Freeman. It didn't take long to find him. He was standing near the Swamp talking to Hawkeye.

When Hawkeye saw Francis approaching, he stopped talking. Sidney saw the expression on the surgeon's face darken as he saw the priest walking toward them.

Mulcahy noticed the surgeon's expression as well, but he didn't hesitate to interrupt. "Excuse me Hawkeye. Sidney, Hope needs you now. She sent me to get you."

The three men hurried to Post-Op. Hope lay in the bed with one arm thrown over her face. Sidney turned to Hawkeye and Francis. "You two stay back and let me talk to her alone right now."

He sat down beside her bed. "Hope, Father Mulcahy says you wanted to see me."

She moved her arm away from her face and let it flop down at her side. "Sidney, Francis told me what happened before I wound up here. I didn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. Are you mad at me for asking him or for him telling me?" Hope sounded like a fearful child.

"No, I'm not mad at you. You didn't do a thing wrong. You asked Father Mulcahy a question and he told you the truth."

* * *

Hawkeye and Francis stood at the opposite end of Post-Op. "Father, what happened to her? When I was here earlier she was talking to Sidney and then she went to sleep. Did you wake her up to talk to her? Is that why she seems so upset now?"

It sounded like Hawkeye was accusing him of waking up Hope on purpose and upsetting her in some way. Blood rushed to the priest's face. He could feel anger rising deep within his body. In as calm a tone as he could manage, Francis told him, "I didn't wake her up. She woke up as I was hearing a confession from the patient in the bed next to hers. That's when she asked me what happened to her before she was brought to Post-Op. She wanted to know how she got burned. I couldn't evade her question or lie to her." His voice rose slightly as he asked, "Would you?"

"No, no I wouldn't lie to her." Hawkeye sensed the tension coming from the priest and decided it would be best not to say anything else that would aggravate the situation.

The next question Hope asked Sidney was so simple and innocent that a child could have asked it. "Why would I want to set fire to a dress? I don't understand."

"Hope, I don't know the answer to that question right now, but I'll help you find it out. We'll work together on getting the answer."

"Thank you. I'm glad you're here Sidney."

"Me, too Hope."

* * *

Who was calling at 3 a.m. this time? It always seemed that somebody, somewhere just had to call the 4077th in the dead of night. Why couldn't people call during the daytime when a poor guy was conscious? Klinger stumbled out of bed and made his way to answer the phone.

"Hello. MASH 4077th. Corporal Klinger speaking," Max mumbled.

"Hello Corporal, I'm trying to reach Lieutenant Hope Jones. This is Reverend Edward Jones. I'm her father." It was the voice of an older man who sounded very anxious.

Klinger wondered why this man was calling half way across the world in the middle of the night, but then he realized it was in the middle of the day before where Hope's father was calling from. The man sounded so worried that he probably didn't think about the time difference when he placed the call to Korea.

"Sir, she's in Post-Op right now."

"Oh you mean she's working right now?"

"Uh, no sir. I mean she's a patient in Post-Op. It's 3 am here sir and she's most likely asleep."

For several seconds, which seemed like an eternity to Klinger, there was silence on the other end of the line. What was he going to tell this man?

"Is she alright? What happened? I had a feeling something was wrong with my girl."

Now Max was starting to panic. How could he tell him that Hope had gone off the deep end and had burns on her left hand and arm from setting a dress on fire?

"Reverend Jones, Hope had a little accident and got burned, but the doctors are taking good care of her." Klinger gave him the highlights of the story without the details. The details needed to come from Colonel Potter, Sidney or Hope.

"Well son, you tell her that her dad loves her a lot and is praying for her. And corporal?"

"Yes sir?"

"Give her a kiss for me and tell her I'll call her later."

"Yes sir. I sure will. Good bye Reverend."

"Thank you corporal. Good bye."

Klinger hung up the phone and sighed. How on earth did that man, thousands of miles away, know something was wrong with his daughter?

* * *

**Please note- There is absolutely nothing funny about a person having a nervous breakdown and I am not making light of that by Hope making use of the expression "dropped my basket". The aim was to show that her personality is still intact even though she has experience a nervous breakdown. Maybe I worry too much about what other people think, but I just want to make sure that there is no misunderstanding.**

**Sidney and Hope have finally met. There's a lot of work ahead for both of them. **

**There seems to be tension developing between Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy.**

**Thanks for reading and supporting this story!**


	42. Chapter 42 The Dress

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 42- THE DRESS**

In the pre-dawn hours of the morning, the sound of ambulances arriving in the compound with incoming wounded woke Hope from a deep morphine induced sleep. She sat up in her bed, her heart pounding. Without thinking, she started to get out of bed until she realized where she was; in Post-Op with an IV needle in her arm and not going anywhere.

In a few hours, Post-Op would be full of patients recovering from surgery on battle inflicted wounds. There she was recovering from a self inflicted one. Guilt crept over her. She shouldn't be there, she should be in OR, doing her job. Hope lay back down and tried to go back to sleep without success. Everyone else would be busy, even Sidney would be helping out in the OR.

Since returning to sleep seemed to be out of the question, Hope thought about what she had been told by Francis of the incident with the burning dress. All she knew was the fact that she had set fire to a dress. Where did the dress come from? She only recalled the one that her mom had sent her in the package with the cookies and the quilt. There could be no logical reason for burning that plain little dress. What had it ever done to her?

Hope quietly chuckled at that question. How could a dress, just a thing, hurt someone? There was much more to what happened than just a dress. It must have been what the dress represented to her. She would have to ask someone to tell her about the dress she burned; what did it look like and where did it come from? And that question would just have to wait for an answer.

* * *

Hawkeye worked hard at keeping focused on surgery. Hope filled his mind and his heart. His hands and his mind seemed to be on separate courses and it was like pulling a runaway train back on track. On several occasions, the nurse assisting him would have to get his attention to keep him on task.

Why did he make such a stupid request of BJ and Charles; to keep him away from Hope? They could keep him away physically, but his heart and mind were with her. She could have been on the other side of the moon for all that it mattered. He'd heard the word "heartache" all his life, now he knew it was more than an expression, it was an honest to God ache in his body as well as his soul.

Working in the OR gave Sidney a two- fold opportunity. He could be of practical assistance and he was able to observe both Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy. The priest had the advantage of being able to move about as he performed various task; Hawkeye was pretty much "stuck" in one place doing surgery. He could tell that the surgeon was working extra hard to stay focused.

When he had a chance, Sidney went over to the table where Hawkeye was working. "How's it going Hawkeye?"

"It's going Sidney," Hawkeye replied tersely.

"You look like you're finished with this patient. Why don't you let me close? I think I can still do that. Go take five and then come back."

"No Sidney. I'm fine."

Colonel Potter called across the OR, "Pierce, like Sidney said, take five. That's a direct order."

"Alright Colonel." Hawkeye left the OR as ordered. He flopped down on the bench in the scrub room and pulled down his mask. The wheels in his mind turned towards Hope. He could go over to Post-Op, see her for a minute, come back, scrub up and be back in OR within five minutes.

Without a second thought, he did exactly that. He "materialized" at Hope's bedside.

"Shit! Hawkeye where did you come from? Why aren't you in OR?" His sudden appearance had scared her; it was so eerily quiet in Post-Op at that moment. Hope rubbed her face with her good hand. "I'm sorry. You have a way of sneaking up on people. Or maybe it was because I had my mind on trying to figure why the heck I would set a dress on fire and I didn't hear you come in."

Hawkeye had no answer to the question about the dress and decided not to say anything about it. He forged ahead to what was on his heart and mind. "I didn't mean to scare you. Hope, I just had to see you. Colonel Potter told me to take a five minute break, so I did. Here I am."

She looked up at him. It has been said that eyes are windows into the soul and Hawkeye Pierce's were certainly so. It was a soul in pain. "Hawkeye, I owe you an apology for the way I spoke to you when you came to see me after I was brought her to Post-Op. I was in so much pain and so frightened. I'm so…"

Before she could get out the word "sorry", he had knelt down by her bed and was kissing her, holding her face with his hands. Hope didn't struggle. She yielded to it for the comfort it gave her. His kiss was deep and full of passion. She let it happen though something about it seemed unfair. He could kiss her and tell her he loved her openly. Francis could not.

A thought ran through her mind that some would find heretical or even blasphemous. "Doggone it Lord, it's not fair!" She quickly prayed silently, _"Sorry Lord, I'm sure this isn't the first time someone has thought that. Surely you understand."_

Then she prayed a more desperate prayer, _"Help me! Help me! Who am I supposed to fall in love with? What's wrong with me?"_ In those brief seconds of silent prayers she asked God more questions.

Hawkeye saw that he no longer had her attention and sighed, "I'd better go back to OR before Colonel Potter sends out the militia for me."

Hope gave him a brief smile. "Hawkeye, thanks for coming to see me."

He stroked her forehead with his thumb. "You're welcome. I had to see you. To make sure you're still here and real." His eyes watered and he was trying hard not to let tears roll down his cheeks. In a half choked whisper, he said, "Gotta go."

By the time Hawkeye re-entered the OR, he had been gone for ten minutes. Of course, he had to scrub up again after having gone to see Hope in Post-Op.

"I was beginning to send one of the orderlies out looking for you Hawkeye. You took longer than five minutes." Colonel Potter didn't sound angry, just concerned.

"I'm sorry Colonel. I just lost track of time." Hawkeye sounded and looked weary.

Potter let it go. Hawkeye was a dedicated surgeon, but he was also a human being who needed a break to be able to keep going.

* * *

By early afternoon, the last of the surgical patients were in Post-Op. Hope had somehow managed to drift off to sleep after Hawkeye left. She was awakened by a peck on the cheek that startled her. Opening one eye she looked up into the face of Max Klinger. If this was Prince Charming waking her with a kiss, no one had told her that the prince would look like a hairy Lebanese guy with a big nose.

"Oh! Hey Max, that was a surprise."

He grinned at her. "Sorry Hope, I've been meaning to give you that kiss since the middle of the night."

"Uh, what?" she asked him with a raised eyebrow. "Please explain. I am one confused person at this moment."

He sat down in the chair beside her bed. "I think I'll back up and explain this better. Your dad called about 3 am and wanted to know if you were alright. He told me he had a feeling something was wrong with you."

Hope felt her heart plummet. "What did you tell him?"

"Hope, I told him the basic facts without all the details. I said you'd had an accident and were in Post-Op recovering. Then he told me to give you a kiss for him and that he would call you back later."

She brushed her fingers through her hair and sighed. "I can be a world away and Daddy still knows when something's wrong with his little girl. I sure don't want him to worry. He just had a heart attack."

Klinger patted her shoulder. "Kid, telling a parent not to worry about their child is like telling the sun not to rise in the morning."

"Yeah Max, you're right about that. Thanks for letting me know."

"You're welcome Hope. Your dad sounds like a kind and caring man. Just the way a reverend should sound."

Hope laughed. "Must be a job requirement. Don't you think Father Mulcahy sounds like that?"

Klinger smiled. "Yeah as a matter of fact, he does."

"Well, the frog has just kissed the princess. It is usually the other way round in fairy tales." Hope looked up to see Major Winchester standing on the other side of the bed looking down at her and Max.

Before Max could say anything, Hope was sitting straight up. Since she had been at the 4077th , the Bostonian had been always been kind and polite to her. Why would he speak to Klinger that way? "Look Major Winchester, Corporal Klinger was bringing me a message from my dad. Daddy called at 3 this morning to see if I was alright and asked him to give me a kiss in his stead. In my fairy tale realm, the corporal is a prince and not a frog."

The morphine had worn off, her hand and arm hurt like hell and she was in no mood to hear Major Winchester talk to her friend that way. She didn't care if the man outranked her.

Klinger chuckled. He'd learn to let what Winchester said to him roll off his back. "See you later Hope. Call me if you need anything."

"O.K., thanks Max."

After Klinger had gone, Major Winchester sat down beside her bed. He said nothing of her outburst, but went straight to work examining her hand and forearm. "Lieutenant, you are indeed fortunate that these burns are no worse than second degree ones."

"Yes, I know. I have you and Corporal Klinger to thank that I wasn't burned worse than that. Please believe me; I appreciate what you did for me. Major, you seem to be a decent and compassionate person, appearances to the contrary just now. I don't like the way you spoke to Max a few moments ago. Apply that kindness to everyone, not just officers."

Winchester smiled. Her admonition sounded like something that Father Mulcahy would have told him. Interesting; was this because she had spent a lot of time around the priest? This led to other questions in the major's mind. Was the lieutenant romantically interested in Father Mulcahy or the other way around? He pushed the questions out of his mind and focused on examining Hope's left hand and arm

She was relieved when he removed the IV needle from her arm. "You'll be taking oral antibiotics for the next ten days. The dressing will need to be changed tomorrow." He quickly made notes on her chart and left.

* * *

A tired looking Sidney Freedman came in to see Hope shortly after Major Winchester had completed his examination of her burns.

Hope took one look at him and asked, "What on earth are you doing here Sidney? You look like you could use a nap."

He smiled at her. "You're a very observant young woman. I could use a nap. It's been a long while since I've spent much time in an operating room. But it's good to be useful."

"Yes, it is. I feel pretty guilty for not being in the OR today. Not being there to do my job."

"Why do you feel guilty? You are recovering from an injury, just like all the other patients in Post-Op."

"Sidney, their injuries are battle related. Mine are self-inflicted."

"Hope, suffering is suffering. It's not a competition. There's no need to compare your suffering to theirs. It's just different, that's all."

"O.K., if you say so. On to a different subject. I want to know about the dress I set on fire. What did it look like? Where did it come from? Is there any part of it left? I want to see it." She fired off the questions rapidly.

He couldn't help but smile at her eagerness to know. It was a good sign that her mind was still engaged and that she had not retreated to some very distant place that would be nearly impossible to pull her from. "Hope, would you like to go find out?"

"Yes, I would. Can we do it now?"

"Yes, if that's what you want to do."

"I do."

He helped her out of bed and gently held her left arm at the elbow. They walked outside into the compound.

"Sidney, who would have the dress; if it hasn't been thrown away?"

"I think we should ask Klinger. When I got here yesterday, he was putting out the flames. Hopefully, he's kept what's left of it."

Sidney and Hope went to the office and found Klinger at his typewriter working on reports. He was typing slowly trying not to make any typos and cursing under his breath.

"Hey Max."

He looked up to see Hope standing beside his desk with Sidney carefully holding on to her left arm.

"Hope, what are you doing out of bed? Major Winchester's gonna blow a gasket when he finds out that you've left Post-Op."

Hope could help but smile. "Now Max, that's something I'd pay good money to see."

The smiled faded when she asked, "Do you have what's left of the dress I set on fire? I want to see it."

"Are you sure you want to see it?"

"Yes, I am Max."

Klinger crossed the office and opened the bottom drawer of one of his file cabinets. He pulled out the remains of the black satin dress. The bodice was intact, but the skirt part of the dress was almost gone. When Hope saw it, she trembled so hard that Sidney almost lost hold of her arm.

"I think you better sit down." He helped her sit down in the chair in front of the company clerk's desk.

She reached out to take the dress from Klinger. He hesitantly handed it to her.

Hope held it in her lap. She fingered the melted ends of what was left of the skirt and then looked inside the bodice. She saw the Bonwit-Teller tag and realized that it had been an expensive dress; certainly not one she could ever afford to buy.

"Where did this come from? I mean, who sent this to me? I could never afford a dress like this."

Max had hung on to the card that had come with the dress. He pulled out of his desk drawer and handed it to her. "This was in the box that dress came in."

When she saw the name on the card, she threw down the dress as it had been a rattlesnake and whispered over and over, "Damn you, Anthony, damn you!"

Sidney could tell by the look in her eyes that Hope had retreated back to that dark place in her mind. She rocked back and forth continuing to whisper curses at the man named Anthony.

"Corporal, go get Colonel Potter, Father Mulcahy and Hawkeye. We need to find out who Anthony is as soon as possible."

"On my way Major." Klinger left the office running.

Klinger was fortunate to find two of the three men in their respective tents. First he went to get Colonel Potter.

Potter had just settled into a much needed nap when Klinger burst into to his tent. "You had better have a very good reason for waking me up Corporal or you're going to be a Private very soon."

"Sorry Colonel, Sidney sent me to get you. Hope, uh…Lieutenant Jones has…uh…"

Potter held up his hand. "I get the picture. Where are Sidney and the lieutenant?"

"In my office, sir. I gotta go get Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy, too."

The colonel waved him away. "Well go! Don't stand there, letting the grass grow under your feet!"

"Yes sir!"

Klinger's next stop was Hawkeye's tent. All he had to say to Hawkeye was the word "Hope" and the surgeon levitated off his bunk and nearly knocked Klinger over leaving the Swamp.

Father Mulcahy was a little harder to find. Klinger looked in the chaplain's tent and then the mess tent. He finally located him in Post-Op reading to a patient. "Excuse me Father, Sidney asked me to get you. It's about Hope and he wants you to come over to the office right now."

The priest hurriedly excused himself and followed Klinger so closely that he was almost on the corporal's heels.

While Klinger was gone to get the three men, Sidney had steered Hope over to sit on the edge of Klinger's bed that was across the office from his desk. She was silent and had stopped rocking back and forth.

Colonel Potter arrived first and what he saw reminded him of the young men he had seen with shell shock during World War I. It was heart wrenching. He was old enough to be the young woman's father.

Hawkeye flew in the office, headed straight for Hope until Colonel Potter grabbed his arm and pulled him away from her. "Son, we'd better wait until Father Mulcahy and Klinger get here."

The two entered the office as Potter had just finished his sentence. Hope looked at Sidney and then up at the other four men. "Why are you all here looking at me?"

Sidney quietly told her, "We're all here to help you. Hope can you tell us about Anthony?"

At the mention of Anthony's name, Hope started trembling again and whispered, "He hurt me, he's bad."

"How did he hurt you Hope? Can you tell us?"

She didn't answer Sidney. Hope looked at Hawkeye and then at Francis. "Ask them. They know. Wait, ask Francis. He knows more about Anthony than Hawkeye does."

Hawkeye knew she couldn't help what she was saying, but it hurt anyway. Hope must have told the priest a lot more about her relationship with Anthony than she had told him. Did it mean she trusted the priest more or that she was in love with him?

He tried hard to let go of the sharp pain he felt in his heart. This was about Hope, not about anything else. Unless she got well, Hope would never be in his life or anyone else's. He tried hard to let go of the sharp pain he felt in his heart.

Mulcahy walked over to Hope and knelt beside her. He placed his hand on her shoulder and said, "Are you sure you want me to tell them about Anthony?"

She nodded "yes". He saw the distant look in her eyes and it frightened him. He silently prayed, "Lord please help me tell Hope's story. Please help me…help all of us. Amen."

He turned and looked at Colonel Potter, Hawkeye and Klinger. "You might as well take a seat. This is going to take a while." The priest sat a few inches away from Hope, not touching her. He wanted to be close enough for his presence to be comforting to her, but not so close that would make it distracting for anyone, himself included, while he told her story.

**Now Hope has found out about the dress. She has seen it, touched it and found out that Anthony sent it to her. All she has been trying to hold back is finally coming out. Maybe the healing can begin and she can move forward.**

**She still hasn't made a choice between Hawkeye and Francis. It's difficult for both men, but they want the best for her. They are united by a desire for her to be well. Once she is well, maybe it will be possible for her to make a decision.**

**Thanks dear readers for your loyal support on the journey of this story. I know everyone wants to know what her choice will be. Things will unfold in the coming chapters.**


	43. Chapter 43The Story,the Letter and a Lie

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 43- The Story, the Letter and a Lie**

It goes without saying that I cannot claim Hawkeye, Father Mulcahy or any of the other characters from M*A*S*H as my own. Hope, her family and the despicable Anthony are my creations.

A note of thanks to all the readers of this story! It's wonderful to know there are so many fans devoted to the best TV show ever made.

* * *

When Francis Mulcahy began Hope's story about Anthony MacMillan, he glanced at her and noticed that she was looking down at her lap. She had withdrawn to some place deep within her mind. It seemed that for Hope, the hearing of the story this time was as painful to her as telling of it had been during what he would forever call "The Confession".

The story was about manipulation, seduction and abandonment; certainly nothing new in the human experience. The priest knew that. The Bible was full of stories with those themes. It was one thing to read about something that happened to someone thousands of years ago but something very different when it is about someone you love. With every word he spoke, he relived her pain. He managed to make it through calmly, even the part about the pregnancy. When he spoke of Hope's miscarriage, his voice trembled with emotion and he had to stop briefly to catch his breath.

The tremor in his voice broke through the barrier Hope had put up in her mind and she looked up at him. "It's alright Francis; I can take it from here."

"Hope, are you sure?" His impulse to protect her from pain was strong and he was willing to continue the story.

"Yes, I'm sure." She sighed and continued on. "A day after I had the miscarriage, I was in Atlanta at a recruiter's office signing on the dotted line to join the Army. Some kids run away from home to join the circus, I ran away from home to join the Army. It sounds noble to say I did it for the nursing education and the opportunity to serve my country. To be honest, I wanted to run away from Georgia, from my little town, from Anthony and from the memory of the baby I lost. Now I know you can't run away from your problems. They follow you and bring ten more of their friends with them. I thought Anthony had well and truly dumped me. When the dress came and I saw it was from him, it felt like he had reached out thousands of miles to twist my heart again."

"Hope, may I ask you a question?" Sidney asked.

"Yes, go ahead."

"So it wasn't the dress itself, it was the fact that Anthony sent it to you?"

Hope shrugged. "I guess so. I don't know why he would send it to me. He made it plain to me after I told him I was pregnant that he didn't want to have anything more to do with me. Maybe I burned it because I couldn't burn him. I couldn't hurt him like he had hurt me. The dress represented Anthony."

"Sort of like burning someone in effigy," the psychiatrist suggested. "Like you said ,the dress represented Anthony. It was your way of showing your anger toward him for all that he had done to you."

"I wonder if I blocked out the memory of burning the dress because I felt guilty for being angry…for being angry at Anthony…for not being able to get back at him," Hope pondered out loud.

"Probably so, Hope. Also the sheer physical pain of the burns to your hand and forearm would take your focus from anything else."

"Yes, that makes sense." Hope rubbed her face with her hands and sighed. "Suddenly I feel like I've been run over by a Sherman tank. Do we have to talk anymore?" She looked to Sidney, then Francis, Hawkeye and Colonel Potter for permission to stop, as if she needed it.

"No Hope, you don't have to talk anymore if you don't want to. At least for now." Sidney put his arm around her shoulder. "Do you want to rest for a while?"

"Oh yes, I feel like I could sleep for a hundred years."

Max had been literally been standing in a corner of his office listening to Hope's story unfold. His dark eyes were glistening. Hope's story had affected him, too. "Colonel, I'll take her back to Post-Op."

"No Klinger." Potter's voice was husky. He cleared his throat. "Take her to the VIP tent."

Max walked over to Hope and helped her up. "Come on; let's get you settled in bed so you can rest." He gently led her out of the office.

"My God, I've seen a lot of young men, boys really, run away from home to join the Army. But in all my years in the service, never a young woman," the Colonel reflected.

Sidney looked at Potter. "Sherman, you realize that we've just scratched the surface of what's troubling Hope. There's more going on than an affair gone wrong and an unplanned pregnancy. She hasn't let herself grieve for the losses she's experienced."

"'To say nothing of the things that have happened to her since she got to Korea," Hawkeye added.

"Yes, Hawkeye's right. You need to know about them as well," Father Mulcahy told them. He didn't add that he had been with her for most of those experiences.

"Yes, I do, but not right now. Like Hope, we all need a rest," a weary Sidney Freedman told them.

* * *

Hawkeye was asleep on his feet. He should have been in his own bed in the Swamp. Instead, he stood in the doorway of the VIP tent watching Hope sleep. She was curled up tightly in a ball, not tossing and turning like she usually did as she slept.

"Must be all the pain meds she's been give," he thought. "They might help with the pain from the burns, but not with the pain in her heart. I wish I could make that go away. I'd do anything to make that happen."

He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see BJ standing beside him. "Hawk, what are you doing?"

"Watching Hope sleep and yeah, I know I asked you and Winchester to keep me away from her."

BJ didn't scold his friend, he simply asked, "Why is she in there and not in Post-Op?"

"Hope asked Father Mulcahy what happened to cause her to be a patient in Post-Op. He told her that she had set a dress on fire. She wanted to see it, so Sidney took her to Klinger's office. He showed what was left of it to her. When she held the dress and looked at it, it triggered something inside of her. She disconnected like she did when saw the card included with the dress. It was signed by a guy named Anthony that she knew before she joined the Army. Sidney sent for me, Father Mulcahy and Colonel Potter. Hope asked Mulcahy to tell Sidney and Colonel Potter the story behind the dress. I mean the story of what happened between her and Anthony. I really don't think I should tell you any more than that Beej. It's personal. I mean it's personal to Hope, although she had already told me what the S.O.B. did to her before she joined the Army." the dress ever came."

"I understand you want to be near her Hawkeye, but you need to let her sleep." BJ saw the desperate look in his friend's eyes. "She won't evaporate. You know, I think she's stronger than anyone gives her credit for. She doesn't even realize how strong she really is."

"Alright, my body is going under protest because my heart and mind are staying right here where she is".

* * *

Francis looked in on Hope as well and there was no one was there to keep him away from her. He entered quietly and sat down in the chair beside the bed for a moment. The desire to hold her was so strong, he knew he must either walk away right then or give in to it. At war with his conscience, he let desire win over. He lay down beside her, looking at her face. Her brows were knitted together and she was frowning. She was sleeping, but it was not a peaceful sleep. He brushed his fingertips across her forehead until her face relaxed.

"I love you Hope Jones with all my heart and soul. Please get well," he whispered to her. "I need you."

The priest realized that this was the first time in his life that he had shared a bed with a woman. Although nothing physical had happened between them other than kisses and embraces, his imagination was taking him to a place he was beginning to long for. The thought of making it a reality with Hope caused him to shudder with thoughts of both fear and pleasure.

He closed his eyes, only intending to rest for a few minutes; but he fell asleep next to Hope.

Hope was thankful that the person wanting to come inside the VIP tent had decided to knock first when she turned to see a sleeping Francis Mulcahy next to her. A little louder than necessary, she called out, "Who is it?"

"It's Major Winchester. I've come to see my peripatetic patient. I went to Post-Op and was told that Colonel Potter had moved you to the VIP tent. May I come in?"

The priest was awake before Hope had asked who was knocking on the door. He sat up, straightened his mussed hair and then moved to the chair beside the bed. Hope glanced at him with a "what's going on?" look in her eyes.

"Yes Major, please come in." Winchester entered the tent, wondering if something had been going on before he knocked on the door.

Hope felt she owed Winchester an explanation for her delay in answering the door. "I had dozed off while Father Mulcahy was paying me a visit. Poor man, he's been sitting here watching me sleep, which must be as exciting as watching paint dry."

The major was working hard not to grin. "I see. I wondered how you were doing. Are you having much pain? Is there anything you need?"

"I'm still having pain, but it's not acute. It's more a dull throb now. I know it takes time for burns to heal," Hope answered feeling sort of guilty, but not really. She and Francis hadn't been doing anything at all but sleeping. She mentally willed Winchester to leave the tent.

Her mental telepathy worked. "Alright Lieutenant ,I will check on you later."The major excused himself and left.

She flopped back down on the bed and started chuckling. "Why do I feel like a teenage girl that's been caught in the back seat of a car with her boyfriend at the drive-in movies?"

This mental picture caused Francis to utter an "oh my!" and turn a deep shade of red.

"Oh Francis I'm sorry. It's not funny, just awkward."

He smiled and his blue eyes lit up at the humor of the situation for a moment. Then he was serious again. "Hope, I just…wanted…to be near you if you needed comforting. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"I know you didn't mean to. It's alright." She reached out and took his hands in hers. "Francis I am frightened. One minute, I can laugh and joke and the next minute my mind "checks out" to go to a dark place."

He swallowed hard, looked down at his lap and then back at her. "Hope, it frightens me, too. I'm afraid you might go to that dark place and not come back. I couldn't bear it. I pray to God that your mind and body will heal soon."

She squeezed his hand and said, "Me, too." Hope let go of his hand. "Francis, I want to change and put on fresh clothes. " It was her cue for him to leave. "I'll see you in the mess tent at supper. O.K.?"

"See you then, Hope."

* * *

After he left, Hope went to the nurses' tent and retrieved clean fatigues from her footlocker. When she put on the shirt, she felt something in the left pocket. It was the letter that had come the same day as the package with the quilt and the cookies. It was wrinkled, but somehow the letter had survived a trip to the laundry. She pulled the letter out of the pocket and saw the return address. It read-

_Anthony MacMillan, Esq._

_Solomon & King, Attorneys at Law_

_1 Peachtree Street_

_Atlanta, Georgia_

Hope's hands trembled as she opened the letter.

_Dear Hope,_

_I heard you had joined the Army after we broke up and wanted to write to you to see how you were doing. If you wonder how I found out about it, your grandmother told me when I was visiting my mom last Sunday._

_My marriage to Kathy is not what I expected it to be. She doesn't compare to you in so many ways. She's so demanding except in the bedroom. If I never touched her, I think she wouldn't mind at all. You were always so willing. The only thing she has that you don't have is money and social prominence. I'll stay married to her because I need those things to move ahead in my profession._

_When you come back stateside, we could pick up where we left off. There's one thing though, you have to make sure you don't get pregnant again. I have Kathy for that, when I can persuade her to sleep with me. _

_It wouldn't be so bad, would it? I would make sure you had everything you needed as long as you kept our relationship a secret. What do you say?_

_I miss the good times we had together. I'm sending you a special present. If you get back with me there will be a lot more of them._

_Look forward to hearing from you,_

_Anthony_

Hope crumpled the letter into a ball, but she held on to it. She ran outside and threw up. Anthony's letter had literally made her sick to her stomach. When the retching subsided, she stood up shaking, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and willing her body not to rebel anymore.

A gentle touch on her shoulder caused Hope to turn around. "Oh, sweet Jesus! Hawkeye it's never going to end."

"Hope, what's wrong?"

"This." She held out the crumpled letter.

He took it from her, read it and handed back to her. "How long have you had this letter?"

"It came the same day I got the package from home. I put it in my shirt pocket and forgot about it. When I put on this shirt a few minutes ago, I found it and read it."

Hawkeye Pierce considered himself a peace loving man, but at that moment if Anthony MacMillan had been there, he would have beaten him to a pulp. He grabbed Hope in a tight embrace and ran his fingers through her hair. "Hope, I'm so sorry. He's thousands of miles away and he's still hurting you. Do you think you should show this letter to Sidney?"

She looked up at him and laughed bitterly, "Why not? At this point, I don't care if the President, the Congress, the Supreme Court and General Douglas McArthur know about me and Anthony. There are only a few people in this world that I don't want to know about my affair with him. That's my dad and my grandmother. It would break their hearts."

"Hope, if you dad and grandmother are anything like you, they will love you no matter what you do." He lifted her chin and kissed her gently. "I do."

Anthony was a manipulating, arrogant son of a bitch, so very easy to despise. Yet, there was only one of him. Now Hope had two decent, wonderful men in love with her. It was as hard to choose one of them over the other to have a romantic relationship with as it was easy to despise Anthony. Hope wondered why she felt so compelled at that moment to choose either Francis or Hawkeye. Why did she need either one of them? The three of them had been thrown together in one place because of the war. They were in Korea serving their country and were working together trying to put broken bodies and souls back together. Under any other circumstances they would have never met. What difference would it make in a year or ten years from now?

"Hope?"

"Hmm…?"

"What are you thinking?"

"Oh nothing much Hawkeye," Hope told him. It was the biggest lie she'd ever told anyone. The compulsion to make a choice between the two men was worse than all the bad things Anthony had done to her. She knew she would badly hurt one of them if she made a choice and the thought of that was almost more than she could bear.

* * *

**Note- The** **law firm of S****olomon and King and their street address, 1 Peachtree Street, are made up . However there is a Peachtree Street in Atlanta. **

**Sidney, Colonel Potter and Corporal Klinger have heard about Hope and Anthony MacMillan. With Sidney's help, she had figured out why she set the dress on fire.**

**Hope finally read the letter she had been carrying around in her shirt pocket. Anthony is a real scum bag!**

**With all her problems, she feels she must decide between Hawkeye and Francis. **

**Thanks once again for reading and supporting this story!**


	44. Chapter 44 Letters from Home

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 44- LETTERS FROM HOME**

**Disclaimer- **I love them, but I cannot claim the characters from M*A*S*H as my own. Hope and her family however come from my writer's imagination.

* * *

It was hard enough to face the food served in the mess tent when she felt alright, but it was nearly impossible for Hope with the way she felt that evening after reading the letter from Anthony.

Not even wanting to look at what was being dished out in the serving line; she got a cup of coffee and sat down next to BJ. Hope had the pale and hollow-eyed appearance of someone who had just thrown up. He glanced at her and said, "Hope, please don't take this the wrong way, but you look awful. Did today's lunch catch up with you?"

"No, this did." She pulled the crumpled letter out of her shirt pocket and held it between her forefinger and thumb like she was holding a dead rat by its tail. "It's a letter that came the same day that I got the package from home. I forgot about it and didn't open the letter until today when I found it in my shirt pocket. I only wish it was today's lunch that made me sick. I could clobber the cook for that. Unfortunately, my arm isn't long enough to reach across the Pacific to get a hold of the person that sent this letter. It's from the slime ball that sent me the dress, Anthony MacMillan." Hope stuffed the letter back in her shirt pocket.

Both Winchester and Hawkeye were headed for the table where Hope and BJ sat. Winchester beat Hawkeye to the space on the other side of Hope and sat down beside her. "My goodness Lieutenant, you look …"

"As green as a gourd," Colonel Potter added as he sat down next to Hawkeye.

Hope held up her hand. "Since all of you outrank me, I say this will all due respect- please refrain from telling me …that I look like death on a cracker."

Hawkeye grinned at her from across the table. Somehow she could still manage to be funny even when she felt awful. It seemed to be Hope's way of coping with things.

Hope stood up. "Please excuse me, I think I'll go somewhere and quietly expire."

"No need for that Lieutenant, we shouldn't have been teasing you," Colonel Potter told her apologetically.

"That's alright sir. I think I need some fresh air anyway." She walked out of the mess tent without paying attention to where she was going, running smack into Father Mulcahy with a resounding thud that caused her to stumble backwards. He grabbed her to keep her from falling .

Hope looked up at him and said, "Oh Francis, I'm so sorry."

Once he was sure she wasn't going to fall, he reluctantly let go of her because they were in a public place. "That's alright Hope." He looked at her pale face and became even more concerned about her than he had been before. "Are you sick?"

"Yes, but it wasn't the mess tent food. I haven't touched a morsel of that stuff. You might as well know the reason why." Hope gave him the letter to read.

As the priest read the letter, his face became red all the way to the roots of his blond hair. There was no doubt that he was angry. "He thinks you will fall into his arms again if he gives you things. The nerve of the man to think you can be bought like that!"

Hope put her hand on his shoulder and said, "Easy, easy Francis. Don't let your blood pressure shoot up over that man. I wouldn't fall for his "crapola" again. I've wised up. He's not worth it."

"Whose "crapola" are we having high blood pressure over?" Sidney asked as he walked up to where Hope and Francis were standing.

"This," Hope told him as she handed him the letter. He read it and handed it back to her.

"It sure sounds like a load of "crapola" to me," Sidney told her. "Now if Anthony could only see what you did to the dress." The psychiatrist chuckled and shook his head. "In my professional opinion, the guy's a real crumb."

Hope laughed at Sidney's "professional opinion" of Anthony. Francis saw the color return to her face. He thought of a verse from the book of Proverbs. _"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine…" _As long as she could laugh, maybe she would be alright.

When Hope walked back in the mess tent with Father Mulcahy and Sidney, Hawkeye noticed that she looked much better and the color had returned to her face. He waved the three of them over to his table. "Alright now Sidney, what did you do or say to Hope? She looks 100 per cent better than she did a few minutes ago. Come on; let me in on your secret."

"It's simple Hawkeye. I made her laugh by giving her my professional opinion of her former boyfriend."

"What did you say?"

"That he was a crumb."

"But Hope already knew that."

Sidney shrugged and smiled at Hawkeye. "Well it must be the way I said it. "

Hope sat down next to Hawkeye, patted his shoulder and teased, "Yeah, Sidney has a way about him."

"Sidney, are you after my girl, too?" Hawkeye sounded like he was joking, but Sidney thought that there might be more than a joke in what the surgeon had said. It sounded like Hawkeye felt he was competing with someone else for Hope's affections.

Like Sidney, Hope caught that Hawkeye had said "my girl". Yes, he had told her he loved her, but she had not reciprocated those feelings; at least, not in words. That nagging feeling that she should chose between him and Francis rose up inside of her again. She didn't understand why she felt that way. The desire to get away from that feeling as so strong that it overwhelmed than that feeling was another one that came to mind, the thought of not being able to see Hawkeye or Francis frightened her even more. She was in the Army after all and personnel got move around like chess pieces all the time.

Hope got up from the table and left without saying a word to anyone. Both Hawkeye and Francis started to ask her to stay, but they were pre-empted by Sidney. "Leave her alone right now. " He got up from the table and followed Hope outside, but didn't say anything to her as they walked a circuit of the compound together.

She stopped and turned to face Sidney. Hope struggled to find words to explain the reason she had left the mess tent so abruptly. "Sidney, I…uh…had to leave…because…"

He pointed towards a bench. "Let's sit down a minute. Take your time and collect your thoughts."

They sat down on a bench that was situated at the opposite end of the compound from the mess tent. For a few minutes, the pair sat in silence until Hope asked him, "Why do I feel like I have to choose?"

"Hope, who or what do you have to make choice about?"

"A choice between two people," she responded.

"Any two people in particular?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to talk about them?"

"Yes, no….I can't!" She felt free to talk about Hawkeye, but she had made a promise to Francis not tell anyone about his declaration of love for her. A promise was sacrosanct to her. She believed strongly in keeping the promises that she made, especially to him. Hope felt it was necessary to protect his reputation because he was a priest.

"Sidney, I'll tell you this. I am being pulled apart inside. It feels like a tug of war is going on in here." Hope pointed at her heart, put her head in her hands and retreated to a distant place in her mind.

* * *

"Some days it doesn't pay to roll out of bed," Max Klinger muttered to himself. He had been "behind the eight ball" all day and couldn't seem to get caught up on his work. Now it was supper time and he was just getting around to distributing the mail that had come that morning. At this time of the day at least most people would be in one place, the mess tent. That would make his job a little easier.

"One letter and one magazine for Captain Pierce." Hawkeye quickly tucked the magazine under his arm. It was one of his nudist magazines and he certainly wasn't going to look at it in front of Francis Mulcahy. He wasn't sure he was going to look at it any time soon at all. In a way, since Hope had come along, some of the things he usually did didn't interest him anymore. Was that good, bad or did it matter at all?

"A letter for the Father from his sister." Francis felt sure his sister was responding to the letter he had written to her about Hope. He would read it in the privacy of his tent later on that evening.

Max dug around in his mail bag and pulled out another letter. "Where's Hope? I've got a letter for her. I thought I saw her come in here."

"Well she went back out again. Look for Sidney. It's a good bet if you find him, you'll find her," Hawkeye told him.

And that's exactly where Max found her, sitting on a bench next to Sidney. When he saw her holding her head in her hands, he was unsure what to do or say next. Fortunately, Sidney spoke to her. "Hope, it looks like Corporal Klinger has a letter for you."

Hope looked up at Klinger and reached out for the letter. She gave him a quick smile and said, "Thanks Max."

"You're welcome Hope." He patted her shoulder and headed towards the office.

She put the letter in her shirt pocket without looking to see who sent it to her.

"Hope, maybe you should see who the letter is from, "Sidney suggested. "It might be important."

At that moment she really didn't care, but Hope pulled it back out of her pocket. It was from her dad. He always seemed to contact her when she really needed to hear from him. "It's from Daddy." She tore open the envelope and pulled out the letter and a photograph. It was photo of her dad, mom and two sisters. Hope showed it to Sidney and then read the letter. The date on the letter indicated that it had been written almost a month before she burned the dress.

_Dear Hope,_

_Here's a new picture of the family, but it's incomplete because you're not in it .We all miss you a lot. I miss your companionship. I miss "my secretary"; only you can make sense of my filing system. I miss hearing the sound of your voice on Sunday morning singing hymns with all your heart. I miss your sense of humor._

_Remember this and hang on to it for all it's worth- There is no place you can go and nothing you can do that would keep me from loving and cherishing you as my daughter._

_If your mama was grading this letter like one of the assignments she gives in her English classes, I would probably get an "F'. But I want you to have no doubt about how much you mean to me._

_You and all the people that serve in your unit are in my thoughts and prayers._

_With all my love,_

_Daddy_

Hope held the letter close to her chest like she was hugging someone. "His timing is perfect. Daddy always seems to know when I'm in trouble."

"Sounds like a wonderful man," Sidney told her.

"Yep, he's the best. That's why I'm so afraid to disappoint him Sidney. I never told him about Anthony, the affair, the pregnancy and the miscarriage."

"Hope, he's a parent. He loves you because you're his daughter. It wouldn't matter what you've done. That's what he's trying to tell you in the letter. Hang on to that, no matter what happens in the future."

* * *

Hawkeye went back to the Swamp after dinner to read the letter from his dad. He tossed the magazine on to his footlocker and sat down on the edge of his bed. He ripped open the envelope and pulled out the letter.

_Dear Hawkeye,_

_You want me to tell you how to know when you've found the "one". That's not an easy thing to do._

_All I can tell you is this- when I met your mother, I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life without her in it._

_You say Hope is different than any woman you've met. Are you in love with her or with whatever it is that makes her different? _

_Does she feel the same way about you that you feel about her? Has she told you?_

_I know I'm asking questions instead of answering them. Hawkeye, I can set a broken bone, stitch a wound and treat a sore throat; but I cannot tell you what to do when it comes to a relationship with a woman. That is something that you are going to have to figure out on your own, but don't stop asking your old man for advice. It makes me feel useful._

_Love,_

_Dad_

He knew his dad was right; he was going to have to figure out what to do about Hope on his own. Hawkeye wanted to ask Hope how she felt about him, but he hesitated because of her fragile mental state.

Drinking didn't solve any problems; he knew that. But he headed toward the O club anyway because he didn't feel like drinking alone.

* * *

Father Mulcahy wasted no time in going back to his tent after supper. He sat at his desk to read the letter from his sister.

_Dear Francis,_

_Your letter concerned me very much. I cannot begin to imagine the distress you must be feeling about falling in love with a woman and not knowing what do about it. _

_Only through prayer and discernment can you make a decision about the course you should take. Perhaps you should talk to your commanding officer or to the command chaplain there about your concerns._

_Please know dear brother that my love and support is always with you no matter what decision you make._

_As always, you are in my prayers._

_Love,_

_Sis_

As he had done so many times, he prayed,_ "Oh Lord, help me know what to do about Hope. You know that I'm in love with her. Why did you send her into my life? Please help me understand. Amen."_

Francis Mulcahy was a man of faith, but also a human being. At that moment, he felt very alone and wondered if his prayers were being heard. He decided to go to the O club. He might feel alone but at least he would be around other people.

* * *

Sidney and Hope sat on the bench for a while longer after she read the letter from her dad. "Sidney, you don't have to stay with me. I'll be alright."

He had heard too many patients tell him that they were alright, when it was far from the truth. "Hope, I don't think you should be alone right now. If you don't want me to stay with you, that's fine. But find someone to be with right now."

"O.K., Sidney. I think I'll go over to Post-Op and see if I can read to or talk with one of the patients. At least, it will distract me from my own troubles for a while."

"Good idea. I think I'll head over to the O club then. I'll see you later."

Francis was making a half -hearted effort at playing the piano when Sidney entered the O club. He looked disappointed to see that the psychiatrist was alone. "Sidney, where's Hope?"

"She decided to go over to Post-Op and see if any of the patients might want some company. I told her I didn't want her to be alone right now."

"Oh."

"You looked disappointed that she didn't come with me."

"I am disappointed. I'm concerned about her. After all, I am the camp chaplain. It's part of my job to be concerned about the wellbeing of the personnel here."

"I understand Father Mulcahy, but she'll be just fine. It will probably do her a world of good to feel useful and it will distract her from her problems for a while. "

"Yes Sidney, I'm sure you're right."

As soon as Sidney sat down at the bar, Hawkeye came up to him and asked, "Where's Hope?"

"She went to Post-Op to visit with patients. I told her I didn't want her to be alone and she chose to do that instead of staying with me."

"So in her condition it's better for her to be with strangers than with people she knows?" Hawkeye sounded a little irritated.

"I think it is Hawkeye, even if it's only for a short time. Strangers don't have expectations of her like the people who know her do."

"You mean people like me? People that work with her and care about her."

Sidney leaned against the bar and answered, "Something like that. The patients here come and go, but the people that work here are stuck with each other. It's not like you come into the office at 9 and go home to your family at 5. Let me ask you something…"

Hawkeye nodded. "O.K. Sidney what is it?"

"Hawkeye if you really care about Hope, would you leave her alone for a while to give her time and space to heal? I don't mean that you should ignore her or be unkind to her. Just don't push her to do or say something she's not ready to do."

"Sidney, I haven't pushed her. " Hawkeye pounded lightly on the bar with his fist. "At least I don't think I have. And…I'm not the only one in the picture either. There's someone else who's interested in her." He ever so slightly tilted his head in Father Mulcahy's direction.

Sidney raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Now how do we let this other person know that they should leave her alone? Announce it over the PA system?"

Hawkeye shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I should mind my own business and do my best to leave Hope alone for a while."

"That's really all you can do anyway, Hawkeye."

* * *

When Hope entered Post-Op, it looked like most of the patients were asleep except for one young man sitting up in his bed. She walked up to the foot of his bed and looked at his chart to see what his name was.

"Hi… Sgt. Walters? I'm Lt. Jones, one of the nurses here. You look kinda bored. Is there something I can do for you?"

The sergeant looked up at her. He appeared to be about 25 and had red hair and sky blue eyes. "Yes ma'am. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

He pointed at her bandaged hand. "What happened to you?"

Before she answered him, Hope recalled something her grandmother had told her when she was a kid. "Honey always tell the truth, but don't always give all the gory details."

Hope chuckled and told him, "I had a mishap with a cigarette lighter. My mama told me not to play with matches, but she never said anything about lighters."

He smiled. "I bet you won't play with a lighter again."

"You got that right. Do you want to talk?" She thought for a second for something else to suggest. " Or maybe play cards? I bet there's a deck somewhere around here. I play a mean game of Go Fish.

"O.K., but take it easy on a wounded man," he told her with a laugh.

Hope dug around in the drawer of the desk the nurses used while they were on duty in Post-Op and found a very tattered deck of cards. She brought them back to Sergeant Walters' bedside. While they played cards for about an hour and she found out that his name was Frank, he was married and was from Tennessee. She told him she was from Georgia and a minister's daughter.

Frank started yawning and Hope took the hint that he was tired of playing cards. "Well Sergeant, you look sleepy. "

"Yes ma'am, you wore me out playing Go Fish. I've learned my lesson." He smiled.

"And what would that be?" she asked.

"Don't play cards with a preacher's kid, even the pretty ones."

"But I didn't cheat."

"O.K., but you sure do win a lot. I'm glad we weren't playing poker. Seriously, thanks for spending time with me. I appreciate it."

Hope smiled at him, "Thanks for spending time with me Sergeant Walters. It meant a lot to me. I'll leave you to get your rest."

She left him wondering why she thanked him for spending time with her. After all, he was the patient. He didn't know that Hope was a patient, too. She did have a burned hand, but she was wounded in her mind and heart, not in her body.

**Note- I guess by now one of Hope's "sort of "curse words is crap. "Crapola" is a slang word that originated in the 1940's according to a dictionary I consulted. Since M*A*S*H is set in the early 1950's, it sounded like a word she might have heard someone say when she was a kid. **

**Sidney has asked Hawkeye to leave Hope alone while she heals. I wonder if he will be able to do it for her sake. It could be a test for him to see if he really is in love with her.**

**Now for the other person involved in this triangle; Father Mulcahy. How will Sidney get the message across to him to leave Hope alone?**

**Thanks so much for reading and supporting this story!**


	45. Chapter 45 How Do You Know?

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 45- HOW DO YOU KNOW?**

**Disclaimer- **Colonel Hollister is a M*A*S*H character (Season 4, Episode 10). He is not my creation. Neither are Hawkeye, Father Mulcahy and all the other characters from the greatest TV show ever made. Only Hope Jones springs from my fevered imagination.

* * *

When Colonel Hollister, the division chaplain at I-Corps, was told he had a call from Father Mulcahy of the 4077th concerning professional advice, he wondered what it was about. He picked up the phone. "Colonel Hollister speaking."

"Sir, I needed to talk to you about a sensitive matter. Would it be possible to set a time to meet very soon? I could arrange with my commanding officer to come down to Seoul, "Mulcahy told him.

"Or I could come to you Father Mulcahy. It's been a while since I paid a visit to the 4077th. That way you would be there if you're needed, "Hollister suggested. Francis hesitated. In a way he wanted to get away from camp, even for just a day. On the other hand, he was concerned about not being available when needed. Suppose they had incoming wounded and he wasn't there to give a dying soldier the last rites? He made the choice to let Colonel Hollister decide when and where they'd meet. "Well sir, whatever you think is best."

"Father Mulcahy I will come to you. Tell your CO that I'll be there tomorrow."

"So soon…? Uh, I mean …Yes, sir. I'll let Colonel Potter know you're coming. Thank you." Francis hung up the phone and went into Potter's office. "Sir, I just got off the phone with Colonel Hollister. He is coming to see me tomorrow to discuss what I talked to you about several months ago."

Colonel Potter had been shuffling papers around on his desk and looked up and said, "Padre, are you still contemplating a transfer out of here?" He pointed at the chair across from his desk. "Sit down. I think we better talk about this."

Francis took off his hat and sat down. "Sir, do you recall that you told me if I felt the same way about Lieutenant Jones after a month or so that you would o.k. my transfer?"

"Yes, I remember. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this."

"Colonel, I'm not asking you for the transfer right now. I must talk to Colonel Hollister first. Besides, he would have to approve the transfer anyway. ."

"Yes he would. You know Padre…Francis; you are so valuable to this unit. No one else can fill your shoes and do the kind of work you do here. I would hate to lose you. And I would miss you so very much." Colonel Potter cleared his throat in an attempt to keep from getting emotional.

Francis' voice trembled as he whispered, "Thank you, Colonel."

* * *

When Hope had broken her ankle in the jeep accident, BJ had been her doctor. When she set fire to the dress and burned her left hand, Major Winchester had assumed that duty in large part because he helped to rescue her from being badly burned. While he examined her hand, she thought about how different he was from BJ. The major seemed had seemed formal and a little distant when she first met him. Although he was always kind to her, there was no sense of ease and warmth like she felt with BJ. She wondered if he had ever experienced a close friendship like BJ and Hawkeye shared.

"Lieutenant?"

"Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry Major. My mind wandered. What did you say?"

He smiled at her and answered, "Your hand looks much better today. I'm going to put on a new dressing on it."

Hope was surprised that he was going to re-dress her hand. She thought for sure he would have one of the nurses do it. She struggled to think of something to say to him while he was doing the task of redressing her burned hand. As he worked she noticed that Major Winchester had a very light touch. Was it possible that it was easier for him to demonstrate a caring attitude by touch than by words?

"Major, I don't know if anyone has told you this before, but you have a very gentle touch. That is a great comfort to someone in pain."

He was surprised by her comments and struggled to give a response. It took him a few seconds, but he finally said, "Thank you. I don't recall being told that before."

There was something else that Hope felt she should tell him. "Major I can't think of adequate words to thank you for saving me from being burned very badly. I hope you don't think I'm being melodramatic when I say you possibly saved my life the day I set fire to the dress."

His response to her expression of gratitude was simple. "I am glad I was there to help you." He stood up to leave. "I will check on your hand again tomorrow." As he walked away from Hope, Charles Winchester reflected on what Hope had said about his gentle touch being a comfort to someone in pain and her expression of gratitude for his help the day she burned the dress. She seemed very different from other women that Hawkeye had been interested in; possibly it was her Southern accent or her sense of humor. She was both gentle and genteel. It could be pleasant to cultivate her friendship. He certainly could use a friend in this "back of beyond."

* * *

After his conversation with Colonel Potter, Francis went over to Post-Op to visit with the patients. Also, he would see if any of them needed the sacrament of confession while he was there. Winchester was leaving as he entered the ward. Hope was standing by the nurses' station talking to Nurse Able.

He said hello to Able and then turned to Hope. "I just passed Major Winchester leaving Post-Op. What did he have to say about the burn on your hand?"

"He told me it was looking better. What brings you here?"

"I thought I would visit with the patients and I hoped I would find you here. I need to tell you something."

For some reason, his last sentence sent her heart to hammering in her chest. What on earth would he need to tell her right then? "Do we need to go somewhere private?" she stammered.

He couldn't read what was in her eyes. Was it fear or excitement? He wasn't sure what he saw there. Francis touched her arm and asked, "Hope, are you alright?"

She paused for a moment before she said, "Yes, I'm alright." Hope hated telling Francis a lie, but she just couldn't explain what she was feeling at that moment.

"I just wanted you to know that the Division Chaplain from I-Corps is coming to see me tomorrow. His name is Colonel Hollister. I will introduce you to him when he arrives."

Hope let out a sigh of relief that was noticeable. "Oh, I look forward to meeting him. Is he coming for any special reason?"

Now she had put the priest on the spot. He didn't feel comfortable telling her that Colonel Hollister was coming for a specific reason. Instead, Francis told her what the head chaplain had said. "He wants to come to the 4077th. It's been a while since he's paid us a visit."

"I see. Well I'll leave you to your visitation of the patients. Sidney wants me to meet him in the mess tent this morning to talk. See you at lunch?"

"Yes, see you then." He watched Hope walk away, longing to tell her the real reason for Colonel Hollister's visit.

* * *

Sidney Freedman sat in the mess tent sipping a cup of coffee while he waited for Hope to arrive. It was mid morning and there was hardly anyone there. It seemed like a good place to meet. He had already decided that he would let her steer the direction of their conversation for this session.

Hope got a cup of coffee and sat down across from Sidney. "Hi, you're my second doctor of the day and it's not even noon." She grinned and added, "But you're not second best."

The psychiatrist smiled at Hope. "Thanks. Let's get started."

"Where should I start?" Hope was unsure what he wanted her talk about.

"I leave that entirely up to you."

Hope started with her arrival at the 4077th during the organized chaos of triage of the incoming wounded. "Francis, I uh mean Father Mulcahy was the first person I met here and for that I am very thankful. For some reason, I was glad I met him before any of the medical staff in that chaos. Maybe it's because I'm the child of a clergyman. He was kind to me and it helped me get through that first day."

"Hope, you call Father Mulcahy by his first name. I take it that you two have become close."

"Yes, we're friends. We have been through some things together that I guess have bonded the two of us. Shortly after I got here, Francis and I went to St. Teresa's orphanage to take them some supplies. The day passed pleasantly enough. We both enjoyed spending time with the children there. On the way back to camp we had an accident. I was driving and got distracted. The jeep hit a crater sized pothole and flipped us out. I broke my ankle and Francis had a concussion. We spent the night sitting against a tree waiting for someone to find us. We told stories to each other and sang silly songs to keep the anxiety in check. Also, I thought I should help him stay awake. It probably wasn't necessary but, maybe I didn't want him to fall asleep because I was scared to be alone. Thank God, Hawkeye and Klinger came along in the middle of the night."

Hope went on to tell Sidney about Cho Hee being brought to the 4077th after she was found along the side of the road with a wounded foot and how she became attached to the little girl. "Sidney, that trip to take Cho Hee to the orphanage reminded me of losing my baby when I had the miscarriage. It was hard to let her go even though it was the best thing for her. Francis made the day so much easier to bear."

She stopped to think how she would tell Sidney about what happened on the return trip to camp. "The trip back to the 4077th was even more eventful than the first one. Francis and I were on our way back when I fell apart and really started crying. He pulled off the road to comfort me and we soon discovered we had company. An enemy patrol was coming down the road. We left the jeep where it was and hid for several hours." Hope stopped for a moment; remembering how frightened she had been. She would leave out how Francis had told her he was in love with her in what she told Sidney next.

"Francis had the presence of mind to shut off the jeep's engine and pocket the keys. Once we were reasonably sure the enemy patrol was gone, we headed back to camp."

"Hope you must have been very frightened thinking that you might be captured by the enemy."

"Yes, I was. The unknown is always frightening. I wondered right then if I would ever see my family and home. Then I wondered if Francis and I would be separated and the only link I had to home and loved ones would be severed indefinitely."

"So in a way, the 4077th has become your family and home."

"Yes Sidney, that's what it represents to me, especially Francis. I feel connected to all the things and people I hold dear through him. That sounds strange, doesn't it?"

"Not really, there's something about being with people that you share a common culture, language and experiences even though you didn't know them until you were stationed here. Since Father Mulcahy is clergy, even though he's Catholic and you're Protestant, I can understand why you would feel like you have something in common with him."

Hope reflected on what Sidney told her. It made sense, but maybe there was something more. When Francis declared his love for her, he didn't demand anything from her in return. She had tried not to think about how she felt about him; he belonged to God. Therefore, she couldn't or shouldn't fall in love with him! That thought struck her with such force that she almost cried out.

Hope threw her hand over her mouth. Her eyes misted with tears until one large drop rolled down her cheek. She moved her hand and placed it on her lap. Now that she sat with Sidney, Hope let the tears fall silently knowing that she didn't have to say anything to justify the reason for them. He would patiently wait for her to speak again.

A long five minutes later, Hope let out a shuddering sigh and whispered, "I'm sorry Sidney."

"It's alright. You don't have to apologize to me. Do you want to stop now?"

"No, because I want to ask you a question. You can tell me if it's a stupid question after I ask it, if you don't want to answer it."

"Hope, the only stupid question is the one you never ask. Fire away."

She swallowed and asked, "How do you know if you're in love?"

He raised an eyebrow and answered, "That's probably the second most asked question in the history of humanity. I believe the answer is different for each human that asks that question."

"You mean I'll have to figure out the answer to that one myself?"

He smiled and said, "Yes, in the end you will. I can give you my answer, but it would only be a guess. I…"

The kitchen crew came in the mess tent to set up for lunch. The clatter of pans and trays being put in place drowned out anything else Sidney would have said.

* * *

Major Charles Emerson Winchester, III held a 12 inch square object with his thumb and forefinger. He had found it under his record player while did a little housekeeping in his corner of the Swamp. The way he held it, someone would have thought he had caught a disgusting rodent. In reality, it was Hope's Frank Sinatra record. She had forgotten to take it with her the night that she and Hawkeye danced in the Swamp.

"Who is the owner of this?" Winchester held the record high in the air, waiting for his tent mates to answer him.

BJ shrugged. "Not guilty. Do you know who it belongs to Hawkeye?"

"It belongs to Hope," Hawkeye answered as he reached to take it out of Winchester's hand.

The major pulled it away. "I'll return it to the lieutenant at lunch."

"What gives Charles? It was vermin until I told you it belonged to Hope. Now you won't part with it until you personally deliver it to her?"

Winchester smiled and relished the aggravated expression on Hawkeye's face. "I just want to make sure she gets it in a timely manner. I'll return it to her at lunch. Maybe it will afford the opportunity to compare "crooners" with the Lieutenant. Who is the better singer- Sinatra vs. Bing Crosby?"

"Since when did you have an interest in popular music and musicians?" Hawkeye asked.

"Hawk, I believe Charles has had an "epiphany". Maybe Frank Sinatra isn't so bad after all, since the singer is favored by a certain young nurse from Georgia," BJ told his friend.

"I want to know. Winchester, when did you become so interested in the musical tastes of Hope Jones?" Hawkeye wasn't in a joking mood and it showed in the tone of his voice.

"I underappreciated the lieutenant until recently, that's all." Winchester kept the "cat that swallowed the canary" look on his face. He looked down at his watch. "My, my. I do believe it's lunch time. Gentlemen." He nodded at his tent mates and sauntered out of the Swamp.

"BJ, do you believe that Charles has a remote interest in Hope? Surely he just said all that to get a rise out of me."

BJ laughed. "Well Hawk, he certainly succeeded in getting a rise out of you. As to his interest in Hope, I have no idea if it's genuine. Besides my friend; just because you love the lady doesn't mean you own her."

"Yeah Beej, you're right, "Hawkeye sighed. "Let's go see what they're serving at the Ptomaine Cafe for lunch."

* * *

Since they were already in the mess tent, Sidney and Hope were the first people to get lunch. Major Winchester joined them at their table before Hawkeye and BJ arrived. She noticed the record album tucked under his arm. "Major, why do you have a record album tucked under your arm?"

Winchester took the record from under his arm and handed it to Hope. "I found it under my record player when I was doing a little housekeeping this morning. It is yours, is it not?"

"Yes, it's mine. I forgot all about it. Sorry," Hope told him.

"That's quite alright. Everyone forgets things from time to time." He smiled at her.

Hawkeye watched the scene unfold between Hope and Charles while he stood in the serving line. "Look at him. Smiling and telling her it's alright for her to leave her record under his record player. If it was my Frank Sinatra record, he would have demanded I buy a new needle for the tone arm before he could play his classical stuff on it again."

"Yep, he would have asked you to replace the record player," BJ teased. "Oh come on, don't blow a gasket over Charles being friendly with Hope. Besides, you're the one that asked me and Winchester to keep you away from her."

"That was a mistake." Hawkeye huffed.

"I don't know Hawkeye. Look at her." BJ pointed at Hope. She was smiling and looked at ease. "She looks happy for a change. Is that so bad?"

Hope couldn't help but notice Hawkeye's expression when he sat down across the table from her. He was sulking like a little boy who'd had his favorite toy taken away from him. He took an extraordinary interest in his food. As was his habit, he sniffed it before he took a bite, but then he look down at the tray while he chewed. He definitely was upset about something. She wondered what it was.

Colonel Potter joined the group and he noticed Hawkeye as well and thought, "I think I'm the CO of a kindergarten class not a medical staff. Wonder who burst Pierce's bubble?"

* * *

Francis stayed in Post-Op longer than he planned and missed lunch. One soldier wanted to talk and another wanted him to hear his confession. He couldn't just tell them, "Sorry, lunch time, must run." It wasn't hunger that bothered him as much as the fact that he missed the chance to be near Hope. He really wanted to be alone with her, but he would settle for being able to sit across the table from her in the mess tent.

Maybe it was for the best that he didn't see her. He needed to think about what he was going to say to Colonel Hollister the next day anyway.

Francis sat down at his small desk. He took a blank sheet of paper, thinking he would write out what he wanted to tell Colonel Hollister. When he put pen to paper he wrote the first thing that came to mind.

_I love Hope. I am in love with Hope Jones._

His heart, mind and body responded to those words. The desire to act upon them was so strong. At that moment he was willing to give up everything he had committed to when he became a priest in order to gain a life with Hope. Francis put down the pen and walked over to the small mirror he used when he shaved his face and combed his hair in the morning. He looked at his reflection as he took off the collar, a symbol of his calling. He carefully laid the collar on the desk. For a little while at least, he would not wear it. No one was with him in the tent to see that he no longer wore the collar. Then he thought God was watching him and started to put the collar back on, but he didn't. God knew what was in his heart whether he wore the collar or not.

**Father Mulcahy has finally called the division chaplain, Colonel Hollister. The outcome of that meeting is coming in the next chapter.**

**Hope finally realizes one of the reasons why she feels pulled between Francis and Hawkeye. She has tried to push aside any feelings she has for Francis because in her mind he belongs to God. Now she has to deal with her feelings about him and acknowledge that she might be in love with him.**

**Maybe Major Winchester and Hope can become friends. Both of them could use a friend who doesn't make demands for a deeper relationship.**

**And poor Hawkeye is just plain jealous. Will he do something stupid because of it?**

**Thanks for reading. I appreciate everyone's patience and support in following this long story. It will have a conclusion, please bear with me for a few more chapters.**


	46. Chapter 46 The Gift of Love

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 46- THE GIFT OF LOVE**

**Disclaimer- **As I have said before, I can make no claim on the characters of M*A*S*H. However, Hope Jones, with all her gifts and flaws, is entirely my own.

* * *

Sometimes being bored at the 4077th was a good thing. It meant no endless stream of incoming wounded; no 48 to 72 hour OR sessions without a chance to sleep, eat or even breathe properly. But this time, it was a bad thing for Hawkeye. It gave him way too much time to ruminate on things, like what the hell was Charles Winchester playing at? Was he truly interested in Hope all of a sudden or was this just his way of tormenting Hawkeye? Somebody could get hurt in this game and it damned well better not be Hope! She'd been hurt enough and the "day of the burning dress" would forever stay in his mind. That day, he thought he had lost her for good.

His decision was made. He would ask Charles what his intentions were towards Hope, making sure he got an honest answer from the man or there would be hell to pay.

Hawkeye had been sitting alone in the Swamp, half heartedly reading an old magazine that belonged to BJ, ready to pounce on Charles the moment he entered the tent. And he did just that. Charles had barely set foot inside when Hawkeye jumped up from the bed and got right in his face. "Alright Winchester, I want to know what your intentions are for Hope. No clever response, no bull crap, just the honest truth!"

Charles backed away from Hawkeye. It would be best to put distance between himself and Pierce's fists. He wasn't scared of Hawkeye, but he wasn't stupid either. He knew if his tent mate was riled up enough, he would indeed "punch someone's lights out."

"Look Pierce, my intentions regarding the Lieutenant are purely based on friendship. The last thing the woman needs is another suitor making emotional demands of her. She's intelligent and well spoken. Why wouldn't I enjoy her company?" Then Charles added the coup de grace to his explanation. "Remember, I'm the one who was able to talk her out of holding on to that burning dress. I know her mental state is fragile and I am not a complete cad."

Hawkeye responded to Charles' answer by giving out a long sigh which sound something like air going out of a balloon. "You better not hurt her Winchester."

Charles held up his hand and said, "Word of honor. I mean that Pierce. Not for your sake, but for Lieutenant Jones' sake." He pointed at two people passing by the Swamp who were deep in conversation. One of them was Hope, the other was Sidney.

* * *

"Sidney, about the question I asked you before lunch?"

He smiled at her and said, "Oh yeah, that question. I was wondering if you were going to let that one slip by."

"Ah Dr. Freedman, no such luck. Answer please."

"I am going to answer your question with a question."

She grinned at him. "Boy doc, you make your patients work for the answers. O.K., fire away."

"How do you think being in love with another person should feel?"

She shrugged. "I have no idea. I thought I was in love with Anthony, but I was in love with the idea of having a handsome boyfriend. Of having someone treat me special." She tapped her forehead with a finger as if she was trying to summon an answer from somewhere inside her head. " I would think about the person constantly? I would imagine a future life with this person. The thought of not being with them would make me feel anxious."

"That's interesting Hope. Is there someone you feel about in that way?"

"Yes, but I can't feel that way about him."

"Why not? Feelings are feelings. You can't turn them off and on like a light switch."

She sighed and raked her fingers through her hair with her good, unburned hand. "But I can't, I just can't be in love with this person. I'm not supposed to feel this way." Hope swallowed hard, trying not to cry. She loved Francis Mulcahy, there was no denying it. At that moment, she was at war within herself. She wanted to do the very thing she believed she shouldn't do; throw herself into Francis' arms for comfort. "Sidney, I don't feel well. I would like to lie down. Please."

"Of course, if that's what you think you need to do right now."

"It is." Hope lied again. She had been making a habit of lying lately, but she wanted out of the conversation. It had become unbearable and running away was easier to do than trying to explain to Sidney Freedman that she was in love with a priest.

Sidney knew exactly what she was doing, but he let her do it anyway. "Yeah, why don't you go rest for a little while? We'll talk later."

Hope went to the VIP tent to lie down. She took off her boots and threw her body across the bed. Sleep eluded her and she lay there with her mind churning. There was no way it would surrender and let her escape through a dreamless sleep. Her mind took off on a tangent to a place she knew she shouldn't go. Her imagination opened the door and in she went. In that place, Francis was lying next to her peering into her eyes expecting her to do or say something. She started to roll her body away from him, but he grabbed her and would not let go. He said nothing, but continued to hold her. Hope struggled and then cried out, "Francis, let go of me!" She sat straight up, realizing that she had dozed off and what she thought was her imagination was in fact a dream. This frightened her because she didn't think that a person could have such a vivid dream while taking a nap. An even more frightening thing was the realization that she couldn't escape from her feelings through sleep, they followed her there!

She put on her boots, left the VIP tent and wandered into the O club. It was late afternoon and not a soul was there. She went over to the piano and sat there staring at the keyboard. The only reason she could think of for sitting in front of a piano which she didn't know how to play was the fact that Francis could play it. It was a way to feel near him without him being there.

Hope had three piano lessons when she was six years old. Mrs. Crawford, the local music teacher had kindly asked her mother not to bring her for anymore lessons after the third one because the child steadfastly refused to practice. A smile tinged with a little regret crossed her face. Now that she was an adult, she wished she had practiced and learned to play a musical instrument. The only one she had was her voice and over the last few weeks, she had sadly neglected using it to sing.

"I do not believe the piano can be played by mental telepathy." Hope looked up to see Major Winchester standing over her. She smiled at him and plinked middle C on the keyboard with the forefinger of her left hand. "Yes Major, you're right. Mental telepathy simply doesn't work for playing the piano." Hope shrugged her shoulders. "Alas, I cannot play. I am a piano lesson reject due to my lack of enthusiasm for practicing. We had one music teacher in my small town, so there was always someone's child on a waiting list to take lessons from her. She had no time or patience for an uninterested student. Poor Mrs. Richardson, she was one of my dad's parishioners, so if was very difficult for her to tell my parents she wouldn't teach me anymore. Major, do you play the piano?"

"Yes, I'll never be a concert pianist, but I can play adequately." He pointed to the unoccupied space on the piano bench and asked, "May I?"

Hope nodded and he sat down beside her. He played _Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star _through twice.

"Come now, I know the keyboard well enough to play that. Show me what you've got," Hope told him.

He played several short pieces ranging from Prelude in C by Bach to Amazing Grace and finished by playing a folk song, the Water is Wide.

Hope applauded his efforts and told him, "That was wonderful."

"Thank you Lieutenant. Did you recognize the last piece of music I played?"

"Yes, I did. It's the tune for _The Water is Wide. _I also know a hymn set to that tune. It's called _The Gift of Love. _It's one of my favorite hymns."

"If I play it again, will you sing the hymn?" he asked her.

Hope always felt nervous when she sang alone, but she nodded "yes". Winchester played the first few notes of the tune and she began singing _The Gift of Love._

_Though I may speak with bravest fire,  
And have the gift to all inspire,  
And have not love, my words are vain;  
As sounding brass, and hopeless gain._

_Though I may give all I possess,  
And striving so my love profess,  
But not be given by love within,  
The profit soon turns strangely thin._

_Come, Spirit, come, our hearts control,  
Our spirits long to be made whole.  
Let inward love guide every deed;  
By this we worship and are freed._

"Lieutenant, that was beautiful. You have a lovely voice. It's a gift you should share with others." He looked away from Hope to see Francis enter the O club. "Don't you agree Father?"

"Yes, I do." Francis looked at Hope and smiled. She saw love shining in those beautiful eyes of his and her heart was pulled to him. She knew he was a priest and belonged to God, but she wanted him anyway. Did she love him because he was "off limits" to her? Not being able to have the one you desired made you want them all the more.

Hope noticed that he was not wearing his clerical collar. What did that mean? She had to know and right away. "Major, please excuse me. I need to ask Father Mulcahy something while I have the opportunity."

"Of course Lieutenant. I enjoyed our musical interlude."

"Thank you Major, I did, too."

Before Francis could say a word, Hope ushered him outside of the O club. She reached up and lightly touched his neck. He shuddered visibly. Her touch was light but it sent a fire through him.

"Hope, what do you want to ask me?" His voice was uncharacteristically husky and deep. The power of her touch nearly caused him to put reason aside. He almost grabbed her to kiss her right then in the middle of camp and in broad daylight, but he managed to control himself.

"Francis, where is your clerical collar? You were wearing it this morning."

He took her right hand and whispered, "I don't want to talk out here in the open. Come back to my tent with me." She didn't protest, but let him lead her to his tent wondering if anyone was watching them. Fear rose within her and her heart began to pound, but she decided that it didn't matter to her if anyone saw them. Hope was so weary in body and mind that she had reached a point where she didn't care what anyone thought about what was going on between them.

Once inside his tent, Francis let go of Hope's hand and pointed toward the chair next to his bed. She sat down. He sat on the edge of his bed. "Hope, I love you. I want to make a life with you. I must give up what the collar represents, the priesthood, to gain that life."

Hope reached out and touched his face. "I've been afraid to admit my feelings for you because I thought I would be stealing you from God. I love you too much to cause you any pain."

He took her hand and kissed her palm sending an electric shock wave up her arm. She got up from the chair and planted her body in his lap. "I love you, Francis. "

Hearing those four words opened a flood of passion within him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed her until they were both breathless. She pushed him down on the bed and whispered, "Let me lay down beside you. It's so much easier to kiss you this way."

"Yes, it is." With his free hand, he swept lightly down her arm down to her hip and back up to her face. He traced her face and ear with his thumb. She shivered at his touch and moved closer to him. Her lips found his and she forced them open with her tongue. He let her explore his mouth until he could no longer stand it and groaned, "I want you entirely Hope, body, mind and soul." Although he had never made love to a woman before, it would have been so easy to seize this moment and possess her but he cared for her too much to give into the moment. The time was not right.

As Hope clung to him, she couldn't help but feel his arousal. In that moment, she would have gladly given herself to him. She reached down to the waist band of his pants. "Francis, do you want me?"

He grabbed her hand and pulled it up to his chest. He held it tightly and said, "Oh Lord yes! But the time isn't right. The place isn't right. I love you too much to take advantage of you in this moment. We have to have faith that the right moment will come."

"What do we do now?" she whispered.

"Hold on to each other." He held her tightly and prayed for the right time to come. He couldn't see what lay ahead, but he knew he wanted her in that future. He held her for over an hour, neither one of them moved or said a word. The only sound heard in the tent was the sound of their breathing.

* * *

It was supper time and Charles Winchester sauntered from the O club to the mess tent, softly humming the tune to the Water is Wide. BJ and Hawkeye joined him in the serving line.

"You're in a good mood Charles," BJ observed.

The major smiled and said, "I spent a delightful hour with Lieutenant Jones earlier this afternoon in the O club."

"In the middle of the afternoon? The place must have been deserted," Hawkeye said. He was starting to get twitchy, the prelude to an angry outburst.

"I thought so, but when I entered the club, Lieutenant Jones was sitting there just staring at the piano. She didn't tell me why she was there and I didn't ask. I played several pieces of music for her and she sang a beautiful hymn that was set to one of the melodies I played. Father Mulcahy happened along just as she was finishing the hymn and Hope left the O club with him. She said she had something to discuss with him." Winchester sighed after this explanation, hoping he had deflected whatever Hawkeye was about to dish out.

It worked. Now Hawkeye wanted to know what Hope was doing with Mulcahy. He looked around the mess tent and didn't see either one of them. Where the hell were they? He had to stay away from her, why not the priest? The surgeon knew full good and well that Mulcahy was in love with Hope. Did she reciprocate those feelings? The desire to know the answer to that question consumed him.

By the time Hope and Francis entered the mess tent, Hawkeye was almost finished eating. He put his fork down and watched them. The priest stood very close to Hope almost touching her, but not quite. They took their trays of food and headed for the table where Colonel Potter and Sidney were seated.

Hawkeye wondered if Hope had even seen him when she walked in the mess tent. The expression on her face was the most peaceful one he'd seen in days. She almost looked happy. Knowing that he was not the reason for that happiness was like a stab in the heart.

Hope had seen Hawkeye, but didn't acknowledge him with a smile or a nod of the head. She was too caught up in what had just happened between her and Francis. As she sat down across from Sidney, he remarked, "You're looking much better than you did earlier today. "

"Thanks, I feel a lot better."

"Well then, it looks like my work here is done. I thought that you would feel better once you made up your mind about whatever was troubling you. Sherman, I'll head back to my office in the morning."

"I'm glad to see you doing better, Lieutenant, "Colonel Potter added. "You had us all worried there for a while." He patted her on the shoulder and it felt like her own father was reaching out across the miles to her.

Hope's eyes misted and she said, "Thank you sir."

Francis smiled, but refrained from touching Hope in public. "It's an answer to prayer." Then he thought, "One prayer answered, but Hope and I have a long road ahead of us before we can live out the love we share."

* * *

"Hawk…Hawkeye." BJ shook his friend's arm. "Hello Captain Pierce. Didn't your dad ever tell you your face would get stuck like that?"

"Like what?" Hawkeye snapped.

"A permanent scowl. What's eating you?"

"That!" He pointed in the direction of the table where Hope and Francis were sitting.

BJ shrugged. "What about it?"

"How come he can be with her and I can't?"

"Well Hawkeye, Father Mulcahy is the camp chaplain and Hope has been sick." BJ knew there was a whole lot more to Hope being with Francis than that, but he wasn't going to say anything about it. Given the mood Hawkeye was in, he might be the one to get slugged instead of the priest since he was right there beside his friend. "Look, if you think you can behave like a grown up, why don't you find out. It's stupid to sit here and stew on what might only be in your imagination."

Hawkeye stood up and started to leave the table. "Aright, I will." BJ grabbed his arm and told him. "Remember, act like a grown up."

Hawkeye jerked his arm away and said "Yes Mother" as he walked over to where Hope was sitting.

Hope looked up to see Hawkeye standing over her with his arms crossed and thought, "Oh wonderful! He looks like he could chew me up and spit me out."

"Hello Hawkeye, do you want to sit down?" She patted the empty spot beside her.

"No, I want to talk to you in private. Now."

The tone of his voice frightened her but she tried not to let it show when she said, "O.K., if that's what you want."

"It is."

Hope followed Hawkeye out of the mess tent all the way back to the Swamp. She hesitated at the door. He gently pushed her inside and tried to make her sit down. She stood her ground and refused to budge from where she stood, which was as close to the door as possible.

"Hawkeye, what do you want? I can tell you're upset. Did I do something wrong?"

"Yeah, you showed up at this cesspool and make me believe in miracles."

"What are you talking about?"

"Falling in love, finding the "one". You know I'm in love with you, don't you? You've never told me how you feel about me?"

Hope sighed. There would be no lies this time, only the cold, painful truth. But first she skirted around it by saying, " I think you're handsome, funny, compassionate and a gifted surgeon. What do you want me to say?"

He blew out an exasperated breath. "The truth. Do you love me or not?"

Hope opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She cleared her throat. The truth was going to be told to Hawkeye Pierce and she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he wouldn't like it. The short, simple answer had the force of an anvil falling on Hawkeye's heart. "No Hawkeye, I'm not in love with you."

The look in his eyes broke her heart. Hope didn't know anything else to say except, "I'm sorry Hawkeye. I can't help the way I feel." She walked out of the Swamp towards the O club. She was going to have a scotch and water and damn it if anyone was going to stop her!

No one stopped her. Mercifully someone took her back to the VIP tent after the second drink. She didn't remember who it was, but she was grateful. Hope slept hard that night and right through breakfast. The sound of a jeep stopping in the compound and the sound of two voices outside her tent woke her up. One was very familiar to her. It was Francis. The other voice was unfamiliar to her. It was deep and booming and made her head ache. She managed to get up and go to the door for a look at the person that had that voice. She saw the man. He was medium height and had a stocky build. There was a bird pinned one side of the collar of his shirt and a cross on the other. That had to be Colonel Hollister and she was in no shape to meet the man. In fact, at that moment she didn't want to see any man.

**As promised, Colonel Hollister had made his appearance, even though it was at the very end of the chapter. Other things happened (most importantly, Hope telling Francis she loves him) that pushed him to the end of the chapter. He will be right there in the next one.**

**Seeing Francis without his clerical collar was the catalyst for Hope to tell him she is in love with him. He now knows the joy of love being returned. She has some peace of mind because she has finally accepted that she loves him and told him so. Hawkeye knows the pain and sorrow of rejection. Hope will probably experience guilt because she has hurt him.**

**And she has a terrible hangover! **

**Thanks so much for reading and supporting this story!**

"


	47. Chapter 47 Distraction

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 47- THE REASON**

**Disclaimer- **Here I go again, but it bears repeating- I cannot claim Father Mulcahy, Colonel Hollister or any other M*A*S*H characters as my own. However, Hope Jones and her family are all my own.

* * *

Hope wondered how on earth she could get some aspirin from the dispensary without being seen. It wasn't getting the aspirin she was worried about, it was the being seen part. She didn't have a mirror and had no idea how she really looked. If it was anything like the way she felt, it had to be awful.

Her head pounded and every sound was amplified tenfold. Dying seemed like a good idea at the moment, but she had already caused enough drama for a lifetime in the short time she had been at the 4077th.

Another thought crept into her mind. What had happened at the O club the night before? She remembered going there and ordering a scotch and water. After that her memory was a blur of faces and then nothingness. If she had been lucky, she passed out before she said or did something really foolish. Like Hawkeye said, she couldn't hold her liquor.

Hawkeye… he was the reason she had gotten drunk in the first place. As long as she lived, Hope would never forget the pain she saw in his eyes when she told him the truth. She wasn't in love with him. The truth might set one person free, but it could also crush another one. How could she live with that?

Francis… she loved him deeply. She had turned his life upside down. Now he was willing to give up everything he had committed himself to be in a romantic relationship with her. A fear nagged at her; would he come to regret his decision to leave the priesthood?

She pushed those thoughts aside and concentrated on how she was going to get out of the VIP tent without being seen. Francis and Colonel Hollister had only been standing in front of the tent for less than a minute, but it seemed like an eternity. Hope wished and prayed they would go somewhere else. When she heard Francis say, "If you don't mind, Colonel, I thought we'd go see Colonel Potter first", Hope let out a sigh of relief.

"That sounds fine Father. I am planning on staying tonight. Where should I put my things?" the head chaplain asked him.

Francis pulled Colonel Hollister's suitcase from the jeep and answered, "I hope you don't mind sharing my quarters. The VIP tent is being used at the moment."

"Oh, you have another visitor?" the colonel asked him.

"No sir. It's being used by one of the nurses. She was injured and it was easier for her to stay in the VIP tent than in the nurses' tent."

"I see. I hope she is going to be alright. Perhaps I visit her later on today, make a pastoral call so to speak."

"Um yes, I'm sure she will appreciate that," Francis told him knowing full well that he might be telling a lie. He had helped Major Winchester get a drunken Hope back to the VIP tent the night before.

A stabbing pain shot through Hope's head. Part of it was from the hangover, but most of it was the pain of embarrassment she felt. She wondered if Francis had been the one who had brought her to the tent from the O club.

As soon as the two men walked off in the direction of Francis' tent, Hope made a bee line for the dispensary. When she entered the room, she was relieved that no one had seen her. She quickly found a bottle of aspirin, poured out two tablets into her hand and put the bottle back on the shelf. Someone entered the room. Hope froze where she stood. Oh God, who was it?

There was a deep, throaty chuckle. "Good morning Lieutenant. How are you?" She turned to see Major Winchester standing over her.

Hope sighed with relief. At least, it wasn't Hawkeye. "I feel like something the dog dug up and the cat wouldn't have. In other words, pretty crummy and stupid to boot."

"I'm not surprised. My, it doesn't take much alcohol to put you out like a light."

"Tell me about it, for me one is one too many. Uh, did I have more than one drink?"

"You were on your second scotch and water when you daintily put your head on the bar and passed out."

Hope rubbed her face with her hand. "How did I get to the VIP tent?"

"Father Mulcahy and I took you there. Well, I carried you."

"Thank you Major. Tell me, did I do or say anything stupid before I passed out?"

He found it hard to hide his smile. "Yes, you did."

"O.K. what was it?"

"You just said "I'm sorry" over and over. And you cried softly."

"One more question."

"Yes, what is it?"

"Who was in the O club?"

"Just about everyone, except for Pierce. He was in the Swamp, getting drunk in private."

She knew she was the reason Hawkeye was got drunk and was thankful he wasn't in the O club at the same time she was. "That's what I should have done, except I don't have my own stash of booze."

Hope popped the aspirin in her mouth. She swallowed the tablets with difficulty, not having anything to wash them down with. "I think I need a gallon or two of coffee."

"I'll walk with you to the mess tent. You look like you could use a shoulder to lean on, literally." He smiled again.

"I look that bad, huh?"

"Before I answer that question, keep in mind that I am your physician and friend." He paused and then said, "Yes, you do." He offered her his arm and she took it immediately.

"Lead on MacDuff!" She stopped and corrected herself. "Oops, that's a misquote. It should be "Lay on MacDuff".

""And damned be he who cries "Hold! Enough!"" Winchester responded as he led her out of the dispensary to the mess tent.

She rubbed her aching head. "I don't know why I said that. Someway, somehow, my mother must be thinking of me. She probably knows I have a hangover, too."

"Why do you say that, Lieutenant?"

Hope chuckled, then groaned and said, "My mother is a high school English teacher. It seems like I was reading Shakespeare right after "See Spot run".

The major couldn't resist and he said, "To be or not to be?"

Hope couldn't help but laugh, even if it made her head hurt. "I'd like to "not be" right now. I think dying would be better than the way I feel right now."

By then they were in the mess tent. "Lieutenant, you go sit over there and I will bring you coffee." Winchester pointed at a table that was occupied by someone who looked like they felt as bad as Hope did. It was Hawkeye.

She was in no shape to argue with the major so Hope bleated out a "thank you" and trudged over to the table. She sat down across from Hawkeye. He looked up at her without saying anything. Hope had a sudden desire to vanish into thin air. She didn't know what to say to the man she had hurt so badly.

When Major Winchester brought the coffee and sat it in front of her, she was thankful for something to do besides look at Hawkeye. The major left the mess tent and Hope drank the coffee as slowly as possible. After the last sip she put the cup down and stood up to leave, leaning against the table with her bandaged, left hand. Hawkeye grabbed her hand and she winced.

"What are you trying to do Hawkeye? Get even? I cause you pain, you cause me pain. You're not blind. There's a dressing on this hand big as the moon."

"Hope, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Sit down and talk to me. Please?" He pleaded with his eyes as well as with words.

She sat back down. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Us," he answered.

"Hawkeye, there is no "us". I'm sorry; I don't know what else to say."

"Are you in love with someone else?"

Hope remained silent. She didn't want to answer him and wasn't ready to tell anyone else that she was in love with Francis Mulcahy.

"Come on Hope, you told me the truth that you aren't in love with me. Why won't you answer this question?"

"There she is!" It was Colonel Potter's voice. Hope looked up to see Colonel Potter along with Father Mulcahy and Colonel Hollister entering the mess tent. Now she really wanted to vanish; sitting there hung over, in a rumpled slept in looking uniform. She was embarrassed by her appearance, not just for her own sake, but for Colonel Potter and Francis' sake as well.

Colonel Potter seemed to ignore the way she looked and introduced her to the division chaplain like he was a proud parent. "Colonel Hollister, this is Lieutenant Hope Jones. Her father is a minister in Georgia. I thought you might like to meet her."

"Hello Colonel, pleased to meet you," Hope pasted on a smile and shook his hand.

The chaplain smiled at her. "The pleasure is all mine, Lieutenant. You're from Georgia? I went to seminary at Emory University in Atlanta. I recall a student by the name of Edward Jones who was a couple of years ahead of me."

Oh boy! This was getting deeper by the minute. The man had gone to seminary with her dad. "Yes sir, my dad went to seminary at Emory."

"He had one little girl at the time and told me he wanted to have two more girls. He told me he had his Faith and wanted Hope and Charity. So you're Hope, the middle girl."

"Yes sir," Hope answered Colonel Hollister while shooting Francis a desperate look that said "please get him out of here!"

Francis saw the look of desperation Hope gave him. He took pity on her and said, "Colonel, excuse me but don't you think we should go on to our meeting?" Without thinking, he had let slip the real reason for Colonel Hollister's visit in front of Hope.

As bad as she felt, Hope didn't miss what Francis had said. So there was a specific reason for the division chaplain to be at the 4077th and she was pretty sure what it was. Hope decided she would ask Francis about it when they could be alone.

"Of course Father." Colonel Hollister nodded at Hope. "I'm sure I'll see you later Lieutenant."

"Yes sir."

Hope and Hawkeye watched the three men leave the mess tent. Before he could open his mouth to say anything, she held up her hand and said, "Enjoy my embarrassment. Here I am hung over, looking like a dog's dinner and I meet the division chaplain who just happened to attend seminary with my daddy."

Hawkeye rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he said, "I was just going to say that I'm glad he's gone. His booming voice and a hangover don't go together. I wonder why Father Mulcahy is meeting with Colonel Hollister?"

Hope shrugged. "I don't know." She jumped up. " Gotta go Hawkeye. I need a shower. I'm not going to look like this the next time that man sees me." She left Hawkeye and their unfinished conversation in the mess tent.

* * *

Francis knew what he was going to say to Colonel Hollister, but that didn't stop him from being nervous. He had been sending up silent, constant SOS prayers to heaven all morning. Now he sat across from the man and he was ready to share what was on his heart and mind.

"Colonel, I called you hear to discuss my leaving the priesthood. This is not a step I take lightly, mind you. "

Colonel Hollister could not hide the surprise he felt. "Father, I am concerned to hear you say this. Does this stem from a crisis of faith? We all go through those in our lives. Things usually work out after a season of prayer and reflection."

"Colonel, my crisis is not with my faith. It's with my vocation as a priest. I'm not sure I'm called to the celibate life."

"What are you trying to tell me Father?"

Francis paused and looked away for a moment before he answered Colonel Hollister. "I have fallen in love with a young woman and I want to spend my life with her. I want to raise a family with her and I can't do that as a Catholic priest."

"Yes, you're right. If you were an Episcopal or Orthodox priest that wouldn't be an issue."

"But I'm not. I must give up one sacrament, Holy Orders, for another, Matrimony."

Colonel Hollister was very concerned. Mulcahy was an excellent priest and did good work where the Lord and the Army had planted him. "Captain, I can only tell you to pray long and hard about this decision. You need to talk to your superiors in the Catholic Church. Ultimately, your choice is between you and the Lord."

"Yes sir, I know."

"Also Father, you would have to resign your commission as an officer in the Army if you left the priesthood."

"Yes sir, I understand that as well."

Colonel Hollister sighed and said, "Captain, all I'm saying is don't make a snap decision. I'll be praying for you and you'll keep me informed as to your final decision, won't you?"

"Yes sir, I will."

They spent some time discussing who Francis would need to talk to in the chain of command if he decided to leave the priesthood and resign his commission.

Then Colonel Hollister took the conversation in a different direction. "Forgive me for changing the subject, but I recall that Edward Jones had a fine singing voice when he was in seminary. I wonder if Lieutenant Jones has inherited that gift?"

Francis smiled and answered, "Yes, I am happy to say, she has. What did you have in mind?"

"I wonder if she would be willing to sing at an impromptu service this evening after supper if that is alright with Colonel Potter."

Although he loved to hear her sing, Francis thought about the way Hope had looked and probably felt that morning before he answered him. "Sir, I'll ask her. I will tell you she is not comfortable singing in solos in front of a crowd, but I'll do my best to persuade her to sing tonight."

* * *

Hope took a shower, albeit a cold one for all the hot water had been used up that morning. She washed her hair as well. At least she was clean and she did feel a little better.

She went to the nurses' tent and got her comb, mirror and lipstick. She would come back for the dress her mother had sent her later. Once she was back in the VIP tent, Hope sat on the edge of the bed combing her hair. It was so tangled that it was nearly impossible to comb. She sat for several minutes trying to tame her uncooperative hair, fuming and fussing the whole time.

There was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" Hope snapped.

"It's me Hope," Francis answered. After hearing the exasperated tone of her voice, he added, "I'm alone. May I come in?"

"Yes," she called back. Hope really didn't want anyone to see her then, not even the man she loved.

Francis entered the tent and immediately saw her wild, tangled hair. "Oh my goodness!" He wasn't sure what he could do, but he wanted to do something for her. "Can I help you with …" He pointed at her hair.

She was embarrassed, but she really needed help with it. "Yes, please come here and try to comb it. I've been trying to comb it and hold a mirror at the same time. It's not easy to do when one of my hands is bandaged."

He sat down beside her on the bed and took the comb from her hand. It was then he noticed that the only thing she was wearing was a robe that came down to her knees. She was unaware that it was opened slightly at the neck and he got a good glimpse of her breasts. They were lovely and he had to resist the temptation to reach down inside the robe and caress them. He cleared his throat and nodded at the open robe. Hope realized what he'd been able to see. She struggled with her own temptation. She wanted to remove the robe and let him see her body.

Instead, Hope pulled the robe around her tighter and stammered, "Would you comb my hair?"

His answer was a whispered "yes" and began to comb it slowly, careful not to pull on any tangles. She relaxed as he worked on her hair. It felt so sensual to have him combing her hair and she wondered if he knew how that felt. She purred as his hands moved slowly.

The purring sound Hope made as he combed her hair aroused Francis. It made it difficult to complete the task but he kept at it until he was finished. He handed her the mirror and said, "Take a look."

When she saw her reflection in the mirror, she noticed how flushed her face was. How difficult it was just to sit there and not give into desire! She put the mirror down in her lap and looked at Francis. She saw the same thing in his face. "My hair looks and feels so much better, thank you." She took his hand and squeezed it. "Francis, this is hard. I mean just sitting here next to you and not putting my hands on you or letting you do the same thing to me. I wish we were someplace else."

"I do too, my love. But we're not." He reached out and stroked her cheek. "One day it will be the right time and the right place." He paused and then asked, "Hope, will you marry me?" The words rolled out of his mouth before he realized what was saying.

At first, Hope thought she had imagined what he had just said; then the weight of the words sunk in. This wonderful man was willing to give up being a priest in order to have her in his life permanently. He really loved her, she had no doubt. In Hope's mind everything clicked into place. This was the reason she was sent to Korea. All that had happened to her before led up to this moment. Her answered was a whispered, "Yes, oh yes."

Francis reached out and pulled her into a deep, long kiss. He stroked her back with his hand as he kissed her. She seemed to melt into him. He could have stayed with her this way forever. Then in the middle of this exceptional moment, he remembered the reason he had come to her tent.

"Uh, Hope?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Colonel Hollister asks if you would be willing to sing at an impromptu service he wants to have this evening after supper."

Hope started giggling. She pulled away from Francis and looked him in the eyes. "Oh Francis, was that the reason you came to the VIP tent?"

He looked down and then back up at her. "Yes."

"I really distracted you, didn't I?"

He smiled at her and said, "Yes, you did. But it's nothing new. You've been distracting me since the day you came to the 4077th. The first time I laid eyes on you changed everything for me."

"You poor man!"

"No Hope, I'm not a poor man. I'm a blessed man. Oops, there I go again. I've already gotten away from the question I came to ask you. Will you sing tonight? For Colonel Hollister? For me? For God?"

"The answer is "yes". I will sing tonight for all of you."

He kissed her again; then rested his forehead against hers. "Thank you. Thank you for answering "yes" to both questions."

"Francis, how could I say anything but "yes" to you? I love you."

He pulled his head away and looked straight in her eyes. "I'm going to remind you of that for the rest of our lives together."

**Poor Hope and Hawkeye! They both have hangovers, but Hope seems to have a lot more help in getting over her hangover than Hawkeye does.**

**Now Francis had told Colonel Hollister that he is in love and wants to leave the priesthood. He went to see Hope to ask her to sing for Colonel Hollister and wound up proposing to her! **

**This chapter went in a little different direction than I had originally planned, but it sometimes stories have a mind of their own! **

**Thanks so much for reading and supporting this story!**


	48. Chapter 48 Change of Plans

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 48- CHANGE OF PLANS**

**Disclaimer- **Hope, her family and Corporal Sam Winters are my creations, everyone else is sadly not my own. They are characters from the best TV show ever, M*A*S*H.

* * *

Hope dug through her footlocker until she found the dress her mother had sent her. She shook her head, looking at the wrinkled garment. "Mama would have a fit if she saw the way this dress looks. I've got to find an ironing board and an iron and get the wrinkles out of it." Max Klinger had an ironing board and iron. She'd seen it out in his tent the night he helped her hem the skirt he had given her. The memory of that night caused her to smile; the way Max looked in a pink bathrobe with a cigar firmly planted between his teeth and the look on Colonel Potter's face when he saw Hope standing on a chair while the Lebanese corporal pinned up the hem on the skirt she was wearing.

With the dress under her arm, she headed for the office hoping to find Max there.

And he was there, deeply concentrating on his work. She heard the clicking of the typewriter keys punctuated by an occasional curse. He stopped and turned around when he heard the door open. "Hi there Hope. What brings you to my little corner of the war?"

She held out the wrinkled dress. "This. I desperately need to borrow your ironing board and iron. I thought I'd wear this tonight."

He grinned and asked, "Got a hot date tonight?"

"Colonel Hollister wants to hold an impromptu service tonight after supper and he's asked me to sing. I thought I'd make myself more presentable." In the back of her mind, it wasn't Colonel Hollister she wanted to look nice for, it was Francis.

"A service in the middle of the week? That's not something I'd go to voluntarily, but since you're singing I wouldn't miss it for the world," Max told her. "Come on, let's go to my tent and get that dress in shape."

"But what about your work?"

He waved at the typewriter. "Oh it can wait. You have a fashion crisis on your hands."

Hope giggled and told him, "It's good to know you have your priorities straight."

Once they were in the tent, Max set up the ironing board and plugged the iron in to the lone electrical outlet in the tent which was on the side of the socket that held the light bulb hanging from the top of his tent. While the iron heated up, Hope shook out the dress and held it up. It was plain. Her mama was right. Hope was not fond of shopping for clothes. The dress was about five years old and was still in good shape, which was the only thing it had going for it.

At least that was what Max thought. "May I offer a suggestion?"

"What is it Max?'

"Pardon me for saying this Hope, but your dress is plain and boring. The only thing in its favor is that you'll be wearing it. How about something to jazz it up? Like a scarf maybe?"

"O.K., show me what you've got."

"Well since the dress is black, a lot of different colors with go with it."

The mention of "black dress" caused Hope to freeze. Until that moment, she had not even thought about the color of the dress in her hand. It was just a dress. Her mind went back to the day she found the dress Anthony had sent her and what had happened afterward.

"Hope, are you alright?"

His question pulled her back to the present moment. "Uh, yeah, I'm alright. My mind just wandered for a moment there. I'll iron the dress while you look for a scarf for me."

Klinger went to his foot locker and started pulling out accessories. While Hope was ironing the dress, she saw a flurry of scarves and jewelry being tossed onto his bunk. "Max, it looks like it's snowing accessories in here!"

"Yep, you could say that. How about one of these?" He held up two scarves. One was a shimmery, silver color. Immediately, Hope knew she didn't want that one. It reminded her of the silver embroidery on the dress she had burned. The other one was full of bright, impressionistic brushes of color. It reminded her of Van Gogh's painting of sunflowers. She pointed at it and said, "I like that one."

Klinger smiled and said, "A wonderful choice! Madame has excellent taste."

He handed her the scarf and she held it up against the dress. "That's perfect, Hope. Now everyone will be looking at you while you sing tonight."

"Oh Max, don't remind me. My knees are already knocking and my heart is pounding." She walked over to Klinger and gave him a big hug. "Seriously, thanks for your help."

He actually blushed although it was hard to see because of his dark complexion. "You're welcome kid. Anything to brighten up our little corner of Korea." He walked over to his tiny wardrobe and took out a hanger. "Here, you don't want to mess up your dress since you just ironed."

Hope put the dress on the hanger and wrapped the scarf around it. "Thanks again. See you tonight."

"Sure thing Hope, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

* * *

Hope stopped by the nurses' tent and got her dress shoes from her foot locker. She returned to the VIP tent to put on the dress and scarf. She managed to get the dress on but when she tried to tie the scarf around her neck with her one good hand, she realized she needed help. On top of that, she couldn't put on lipstick or comb her hair without someone else holding the mirror for her. Who would she asked to help her?

Francis came to mind first, but she decided that wasn't such a good idea given what had happened when he had helped her with her tangled had a difficult time not putting her hands on him when she was alone with him. Maybe, she would go back and ask Max to help her.

Hope was on her way back to Klinger when she was intercepted by Hawkeye as he crossed the compound. "Hope, what are you doing with that scarf and mirror?"

"Trying to figure out who I can get to help me get the scarf around my neck and hold the mirror while I put on lipstick. Excuse me." She started to walk away from him, but he blocked her path.

"Two hands, no waiting. Let me help."

Hope backed away from Hawkeye a few inches. "Uh…no…"

"Oh come on Hope, I just want to help you put on the scarf and hold the mirror for you. I'm not going to ravish you in the middle of the compound!"

"Alright Hawkeye." She handed him the scarf, not wanting to cause a scene that would have the whole camp running to see what was going on. He walked behind her and placed the scarf around her neck. His fingers brushed her neck and lingered. He did it on purpose and she knew it. Hawkeye Pierce wasn't ready to give up on having Hope for his own.

He turned her around to face him and tied the scarf. "There. Now give me the mirror." She handed it to him. He held it up to her face. She saw in her own eyes what he had just seen; fear and confusion. With a trembling hand she applied the lipstick. It took quite an effort for Hope to put it on straight.

"You look nice."

Hope mumbled a "thank you" and looked down at her feet.

"Hope, look at me." Hawkeye reached out and lifted her chin. She closed her eyes.

He sighed. "Go on, keep your eyes closed, but I'm still here. I'm not moving."

Hope opened her eyes and looked at him. "Hawkeye, I said "thank you". What more do you want from me?"

"I want to know why you don't love me. I want to know who you're in love with." He reached out and grabbed her right hand. She let him hold it without resisting; it was just easier that way.

Tears rolled down her cheeks. "The answer to the first question is "I don't know". And as to the second, that's my business. Don't push me for an answer. Please, if you really do love me, just leave me alone. Isn't there enough pain to go around in this place already?"

"Yes, yes there is." He pulled her to him and held her for a moment. He let her go when he felt her body tense up.

Hope backed away from Hawkeye. "I've got to go find Colonel Hollister and Francis…um Father Mulcahy to discuss the music for tonight's service."

As she walked away, he called out, "Run away Hope, that's what you do best!" Each word he uttered was like a stab to her heart. Even though he had just agreed with her that there was more than enough pain to go around; he was hurting and didn't want to suffer alone.

* * *

Colonel Hollister and Francis were alone in Colonel Potter's office discussing that evening's service when Hope came Hollister greeted her, "Hello Lieutenant. You're just in time to discuss the music for tonight. Come sit down."

Hope sat in an empty chair that was next to Francis. He looked at her and gave her a quick smile. She returned it wishing she could do more than that. She wanted him to hold her after her encounter with Hawkeye. Taking a deep breath she asked, "What did you have in mind Colonel Hollister?"

Francis heard the tremor in her voice. Something had happened to upset her before she came in the office. He would find out what happened when they had another chance to be alone. He reached out and put his hand on the arm of her chair. It was close to holding her hand as he could do in the presence of Colonel Hollister.

Colonel Hollister noticed Francis put his hand on Hope's chair. For just a second, he wondered if Lieutenant Jones was the object of the priest's affection. He pushed the thought aside and said, "I thought we would have some congregation singing followed by a solo from you. How does that sound?"

"That sounds just fine, sir. I have a solo in mind if I can get Major Winchester to accompany me on the piano. He's familiar with the hymn I want to sing."

"What's the name of the hymn?"

"_The Gift of Love, _sir. It's set to the same tune as _The Water is Wide._"

"I know that one. It's beautiful. I look forward to hearing you sing."

"Thank you Colonel Hollister. I hope you won't be disappointed."

Francis smiled at her and said, "Oh you won't be sir. I'm sure of it."

Colonel Hollister stood up. "Now that's settled, I believe I'll go over to your Post-Op ward and visit with some of the patients. See you at supper."

He was hardly out of the office before Hope threw herself into Francis' lap. She held onto him for all she was worth. "Hope what's wrong?" he whispered.

She trembled and swallowed a sob before she answered, "I had a bit of unpleasantness with someone."

"Who was it?" When Hope didn't respond, he lifted her face to meet his eyes. "Who was it?" he asked her again.

"Does it matter?"

"It does to me, my love. I'm here to share your sorrows and your joys. Please tell me." He stroked her cheek with his thumb. She shuddered and sighed, "It was Hawkeye. He's angry with me."

"Why in the world would he be angry with you?"

She closed her eyes for half a second and opened them again. "He asked me if I loved him. I told him no. Then he asked me if I was in love with someone else."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him it was none of his business, but he won't let it rest. I think he's going to keep at me until I break down and tell him. You know my promise to you that I would never tell anyone that you were in love with me. Well, I'm not going back on it. And why should I tell him that I'm in love with you? For now, it's our secret kingdom. No one belongs there but you and me."

Francis was moved by her commitment to keeping a promise. He knew he could trust her. She stayed in his lap until they heard the sound of someone in the outer office. Hope quickly stood up and straightened her dress and scarf. He grabbed her hand and told her, "Hope, you look lovely!"

Hope blushed when Francis said it to her. To her, it sounded simple and sincere coming from him. When Hawkeye said it, she wasn't sure of his motive for saying it. "Thank you." Then she laughed and added, "I know I look a lot better than I did this morning."

He grinned and did his characteristic eye roll. "Well, now that you mention it…"

She bent down and whispered in his ear, "Francis, you're bad and I love it! I better go find Major Winchester and see if he'll if he's willing to play the piano for me tonight."

"Alright see you later." He made a playful swat at her behind. She turned her head and winked at him. Hope nearly skipped out of the office, but composed herself when she almost ran into Colonel Potter.

"Excuse me sir."

He smiled at her. "Oh that's o.k." She looked really happy and he was glad to see it.

* * *

Hope knocked on the door to the Swamp and was glad to find Charles standing on the other side of the door when she entered. "Hello Major, I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"No, I was just reading. I can take up this book later. What can I do for you? Is your hand troubling you?"

"Oh no, my hand's alright. I've come to make a request of you."

"What is it Lieutenant?"

"Colonel Hollister is going to hold a service after supper and he has asked me to sing. Would you please accompany me? I was thinking of singing _The Gift of Love._ I realize this is sort of a last minute request and if you don't want to I'll be content to sing a capella, but I don't think it will sound so good that way."

He smiled and tugged at his ear. "Well, I don't know. This is short notice." He saw the anxious look on her face and decided it would be best not to tease her. "Alright, I'll be happy to play for you. Do you want to go over to the officer's club and rehearse?"

"Yes, that's a very good idea. We'll just have enough time before supper."

Hawkeye was sitting in the darkened O club peeling the label off of an empty beer bottle when Hope and Major Winchester came in to use the piano. She raked her fingers through her hair and muttered, "Sweet Jesus! I just can't get away from him."

"Do you want me to send him away? Is he making you nervous? I'll put him out on his ear."

Hope grabbed Winchester's arm and said, "No, let's get on with rehearsing my solo. I'll manage."

As she started singing, a peace floated over her and she was no longer concerned with Hawkeye's presence in the room. She closed her eyes and in that moment, the hymn was all there was in the universe and singing it was more powerful than any medication or liquor on calming her worn and frazzled spirit. When she finished and opened her eyes, Hawkeye was nowhere to be seen. Hope hadn't even heard the sound of him leaving the room.

"Well done Lieutenant." The major looked around and didn't see Hawkeye. "Pierce is a cultural Visigoth. He doesn't know beautiful music when he hears it."

"No Major, that's not it at all. Something's bothering him," Hope told him. A wave of sadness for Hawkeye washed over her. He was miserable and she was the cause of it.

* * *

Right before supper, Colonel Hollister had conferred with Colonel Potter and Father Mulcahy about the venue for the service and it was decided that it would be the O club, since the piano was already there. The only stipulation was that there would be no drinking until after the service was over.

"I must say that having a religious service in the O club is a most unusual idea," Potter told Colonel Hollister.

"Yes, it is. And I'm jealous Colonel Hollister. Why didn't I think of that before? I might have "packed them in" so to speak on Sundays if I'd thought of that," Francis told him teasingly.

"Well come to think of it, Father Mulcahy, Jesus performed his first miracle at a place where there was plenty of alcohol, "Colonel Hollister told him.

"Yes, the miracle at the wedding feast in Cana; turning water in to wine. I would love the little miracle of good attendance at one of my services," Francis added.

The PA system crackled to life. "Attention in the compound, incoming wounded. Sorry to rain or your parade, uh service, Colonel Hollister."

Colonel Hollister sighed, "I guess the Lord had other plans. I'm sorry I won't get to hear Lieutenant Jones sing. Colonel Potter, since I'm here, I might as well be of help. Please tell me what you need me to do."

Colonel Potter was already on the run to assist with triage of the wounded. He turned and said, "I leave you in the Padre's capable hands. He'll show you the ropes."

* * *

Hope wound up working in Pre-Op with the patients that were not in critical condition which consisted mostly of keeping an eye on their IV's and talking to them while they waited their turn for surgery.

"Hey Hope, you didn't have to dress up just for me."

The voice came from across the room and sounded familiar. She looked over to see Sam Winters, the young man from Mobile. Hope walked over to him and said, "Hey Sam, aren't you here to pick me up for our date? You know? Shrimp and grits."

He groaned and gave her a crooked grin. "I wish I was here for a date. That's the only reason I'd want to come back here. No offense."

"None taken Sam. I'm sorry you're back again."

"Well at least I get to see you."

Without thinking, Hope reached out to brush the hair out of his face with her left hand. Sam saw the bandage and said, "Last time I was here, you were on crutches. What happened to you this time?"

She chuckled and answered, "I…uh…had a mishap with a cigarette lighter. It's a good thing I work for a medical unit, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it sure is," he laughed. "What are you gonna do when you finally get stateside? Who's gonna look after you then? I'll volunteer."

"Sam, I'm sure you would, but I've already got someone who's signed up for that job. I'm engaged." By the time Hope realized what she'd told Sam, it was too late and an orderly had come to take him for surgery.

"Congratulations Hope! Whoever he is, he's a lucky guy," he called back to her as he was being wheeled in to OR.

The surgeon working on Sam turned out to be Hawkeye who was surprised to find his patient so animated and in good spirits. "Well…" Hawkeye glanced at Sam's dog tag. "Corporal Winters, you seem pretty happy for a guy who's been shot, which I must say is kind of strange."

Sam looked up at Hawkeye and grinned. "I just talked to one of the nurses, Hope. She says she's engaged. Are you the lucky guy?"

Hawkeye's expression darkened and he told the anesthetist, "Put him under."

* * *

Around midnight, Hawkeye and Colonel Potter were taking a five minute break sitting on the bench in the scrub room. Hawkeye sat there; arms crossed, staring off into space.

"What's wrong with you Hawkeye? You looked like someone licked the red off your candy."

The chief surgeon turned and looked at Potter. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean your face has been set in a permanent scowl since that red headed kid was brought into OR. What gives?"

Hawkeye exhaled a long sigh and answered, "He said something to me."

Potter shrugged. "So, he was probably in pain. You know how people are, they might say anything if there hurting very badly."

"No Colonel, it was nothing like that."

"Then what in the name of Aunt Gussie's garters was it? No one should be put under anesthesia with their doctor scowling at them like you were. It might make them think that they'd never wake up."

Hawkeye sighed again. "He told me that Hope is engaged."

"What? How on earth did he know that?"

"She's been working in Pre-Op. She must have told him while he was out there waiting to be taken into OR."

"I see." The colonel paused and got up into Hawkeye's face. He fiercely whispered, "Let me tell you something, son. You don't like to lose. I know from watching you work that you don't like losing patients to death. But sometimes you're going to lose; whether its patients or other people. You'd better accept that fact because you're going to make it hell for yourself and everyone else involved. You must learn how to lose and go on with your life. If you don't, you'll miss seeing what you have won when it comes your way."

"Is that an order, Colonel?"

"Let me put it this way Hawkeye; and I say this as your friend and commanding officer, you'd better damn sure try for everyone's sake, especially your own."

* * *

Colonel Hollister and Father Mulcahy sat in the mess tent at 5 o'clock in the morning drinking coffee. "Father, now that I've seen firsthand what the members of this unit for our wounded personnel, I am amazed. It's a miracle. And all the things you do to assist... I know they didn't teach you them in seminary. Just remember that in the decision you're about to make. You answered the call to work in this to this place. Do you think that your work is through here?"

Francis removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know Colonel; I just know what my heart tells me. I love a woman and I've asked her to marry me."

"Do you think she is willing to wait until the time when your work is finished here? You must ask her that Father. Her answer will determine if she truly loves you. "

"Yes, I suppose it will," he responded as he watched Hope enter the mess tent. He knew Colonel Hollister was right. He had to know if Hope was willing to wait for the time to be right for them to be together as husband and wife. He would ask her as soon as they could be alone and he prayed that opportunity would come soon.

* * *

**The service Colonel Hollister planned didn't happen because the 4077****th**** received incoming wounded. He went ahead and volunteered to help Father Mulcahy. He accepted the change of plan.**

**Hawkeye is having trouble accepting change and he shows it by the way he is acting. Can he learn to accept that he cannot get what he desires- Hope's love.**

**Francis and Hope have to face the reality that they have a long way to go before they can be together as husband and wife.**

**Thanks so much for reading this story! More to come! **


	49. Chapter 49 Never Forget

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 50- THE BEST THING TO DO**

**Disclaimer- **Hawkeye, Father Mulcahy and the other M*A*S*H characters are not my creation. Only Hope Jones and Sam Winters come from my imagination.

* * *

"Who in the world is standing outside calling for you? Why don't they just come in here if they want to see you?" Sam Winters asked Hope. She had come over to Post-Op to visit him and they were playing cards.

She knew who it was. It was Hawkeye. He had yelled her full name and he was the only one in camp that knew her middle name was Juliet. "Excuse me Sam, I better go see what they want."

Hope walked outside of Post-Op to the sight of a small crowd of people in their nightclothes, including Colonel Potter, Major Houlihan and Klinger, were standing around Hawkeye. Colonel Potter and Klinger were trying to calm him down, but he was having none of it.

Colonel Potter had been sound asleep until Hawkeye started yelling for Hope. He was not in a good mood and just wanted to crawl back in bed instead of playing nanny to a bunch of grown -ups. "Klinger, see if you can corral Pierce and get him back to the Swamp."

When Hawkeye saw Hope walking toward the little audience that had formed around him, he smiled and said a little too loudly, "There she is. There's my Juliet."

She got within a foot of him and stepped back, the fumes from the alcohol on his breath were overpowering. "Hawkeye what do you want?"

"You."

"I'm here. Now what do you want?"

"I want you to love me."

Hope rubbed her forehead and sighed. "Look, this isn't the time or the place for this conversation. Why don't you go to bed?"

"Why don't you come with me? Remember when I held you while you slept?"

Even though she knew Hawkeye was very drunk when he said that she had slept with him, Hope was embarrassed beyond words. She walked up to him and grabbed his arm. "Come on Hawkeye. Enough is enough. You're going to the Swamp."

He put his other arm around her, pulled her close, pinning her arms against his chest and kissed her. She struggled against him and finally resorted to kicking him in the shin so he would let go of her. He grabbed his leg and rubbed it.

"Ow! Why did you do that?"

"Because your behavior is highly inappropriate!"

"And yours isn't?"

"Hawkeye, what's that supposed to mean?"

"You're the one fooling around with a priest."

Hope was so stunned by what he said that she stumbled backwards in an effort to get away from him. A pair of gentle hands caught her. She turned to see Francis standing behind her in a bathrobe, tufts of his blond hair sticking up and his glasses askew. For half a second, she thought of how much she wanted to wake up every morning with him. Then the reality of the situation brought her back to the present.

Colonel Potter had finally had enough melodrama and shouted, "Alright everybody, show's over! Go to bed. Klinger get Pierce to the Swamp. Padre and Lieutenant Jones, I'll talk to you in the morning."

The crowd dispersed and people went back to their tents. As Klinger led him off to the Swamp, Hawkeye turned around and gave Hope a longing look. Her heart ached for him, but she couldn't help the way she felt. She told Francis, "Hawkeye can't stand the fact that I chose you over him. I guess he decided if he's miserable, everyone else should be, too. It would be for the best if I put in for a transfer. Then I wouldn't be around to cause so much drama."

The thought of not being around Hope tore through Francis' heart. He understood the reality of Army life; personnel got transferred all the time but he couldn't imagine life without her. He reached out and lifted her chin so she would look him in the eye. "Hope, I don't want you to go. I love you."

"It might be for the best, you are needed here. You should stay. There are a lot more nurses than chaplains to go around. I can be replaced."

"Hope, please don't talk about it anymore tonight. Tomorrow morning is soon enough for that." He looked around to make sure no one was watching and took her hand. Then he led her into the shadows behind the tents. "No more talking now." He pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her gently at first. It gathered intensity the longer he kissed Hope and the more she responded.

She pulled away to catch her breath. "You're pretty good at this for someone who doesn't have much practice."

He chuckled and said, "You don't know that I was "spin the bottle" champ when I was twelve."

"No, you never told me about that. O.k. Champ, show me what you got." Hope stood on her tip toes and put her arms around his neck. She pressed her body into his and he responded with a soft moan as she kissed him.

Francis reached under her shirt and rubbed her back. His hand brushed the back of her bra and he was tempted to unfasten it. Hope whispered, "It's alright if you want to do that. I won't mind."

He quickly pulled his hand away. "Hope if I start there I might not want to stop." He ran his fingers through her hair. His desire for her was something that he could almost taste and touch. "I think you should go to bed now. It's very late."

"Your bed?" Hope laughed softly and stoked his face with her fingertips. Her playfulness excited him and he was ready to pick her up and take her there but somehow the low, soft voice of reason inside his head got through and he said, "No Hope, you should go to your own bed. Alone."

"Alright, but as the song says, "give me a kiss to build a dream on." She looked up at him and started singing softly,

_Give me a kiss to build a dream on  
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss  
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this  
A kiss to build a dream on_

_Give me a kiss before you leave me_  
_And my imagination will feed my hungry heart_  
_Leave me one thing before we part_  
_A kiss to build a dream on_

He smiled and said, "Well, since you asked so nicely." Francis started kissing her at her forehead and worked his way to her cheeks, ears and finally her mouth. Her lips parted and he explored the sweet warmth of her mouth with his tongue. He loved the way she tasted and he could never get enough.

He reluctantly let her go. "Good night, Hope. I love you."

She backed away a few inches and looked up at him. "I love you, too. No matter what happens, please believe that. That may be all we have to hold on to."

* * *

He felt so bad, he hoped he was dead. No one's head could hurt so much and live. When the sun hit his face, Hawkeye mumbled loudly, "Hey, turn off the light. Can't you let a man die in peace?"

"No such luck my friend," BJ moaned.

Hawkeye sat up on the edge of his bed, shielding his eyes from the sunlight. "Oh god, it's morning."

Charles Winchester growled and threw a pillow at him. "Brilliant observation, Pierce!"

Hawkeye ducked and the pillow missed hitting him in the face by a gnat's breadth. "What the hell happened last night? I remembering going to Rosie's Bar with you two and then coming back to camp where someone was yelling their head off."

"Hawk, that person was you," BJ told him.

"Me? Why was I yelling?"

"It wasn't a "why"; it was a "who"."

"Who was I yelling at?"

When BJ hesitated to tell Hawkeye that he had been yelling for Hope in the middle of the compound, Charles readily volunteered the information. "You were looking for Hope. You called out her full name; Hope Juliet Jones. After that, the details are hazy in my mind."

"So you can't tell me what happened after that?" Hawkeye asked him.

"Nope," the Bostonian answered.

Hawkeye looked over at BJ for an answer to the question and saw his face. Someone had socked him in the jaw and there was a large bruise. "Who did that? Did you get in a fight at Rosie's?"

BJ rubbed his jaw. "You did it Hawkeye."

"This just gets better and better." Hawkeye held his head with his hands trying to make the tent stop spinning. "Guess I'll find out soon enough from someone else in camp."

"No doubt, it is fodder for this morning's gossip in the mess tent," Charles observed.

* * *

The more she thought about the impending conversation with Colonel Potter, the more anxious Hope became. For a few moments the night before, she had forgotten about everything but being in Francis' arms, kissing him. It was the whole universe and time stood still then. But time would not be held back and morning came with a strong dose of reality.

She found her way to the mess tent and got a cup of coffee, not bothering to even look at what was being served for breakfast. Her stomach wasn't that brave. Hope sat down beside Francis and noticed he only had a cup of coffee as well.

"Can't face breakfast either?" she asked him.

He sighed, "No, my stomach is full of butterflies. You know why?"

"Yeah, I do. I'm nervous about what Colonel Potter is going to say about what happened last night. And about…"

"Us?"

"Yes Francis, about us. "

Gathering the courage to ask Hope if she was still thinking about asking Colonel Potter to transfer her, he looked down at his coffee cup. When he looked up he asked her, "Do you still think you should request a transfer?"

She sighed and gripped the edge of the table with her burned hand. It hurt, but she thought the distraction of that pain would override the pain she felt about the answer to his question. In a husky whisper she said, "Yes. I think it's the best thing to do."

He took her good hand and held it and wished they were someplace else. But then he thought if they weren't in Korea, they wouldn't have met. "Hope, I'm sorry you feel that you have leave. The decision is yours and I would never tell you what to do."

An even more important question was on both their minds and they both blurted out at the same time, "Do you still want to get married?"

The buzz of conversation in the mess tent ceased instantly. Every head turned in their direction. Hope and Francis fell silent. Finally everyone else resumed talking.

Hope whispered, "Yes, I do. I love you." She held her breath and looked at him expectantly, hoping for the same response.

He smiled at her. "Of course, I love you and want to spend my life with you."

With his assurance of that he still wanted to marry her, Hope relaxed somewhat and felt she was ready for their meeting with Colonel Potter.

The buzz of conversation stopped again when Hawkeye, BJ and Charles came dragging in the mess tent. The trio bypassed the serving line and went straight for the coffee urn. Once they had their coffee they found an empty table on the opposite end of the tent from where Hope and Francis were sitting.

For five minutes or more, Hawkeye sat staring into his coffee. He wished he could drown in it.

"Hawk, you're supposed to drink it, not study it," BJ told him.

Hawkeye picked up his coffee and took a long sip before sitting the cup back down on the table. He made a face. The stuff was exceptionally nasty that morning which just compounded how awful he felt. He picked up the cup and took another sip with his eyes closed. Maybe it wouldn't taste so bad if he couldn't see it. When sat the cup down again, he opened his eyes to see people looking at him and then at Father Mulcahy and Hope. Yes, Charles was right. The chief surgeon, the priest and the nurse were fodder for gossip.

His shifted in his seat and accidentally knocked his right leg against the table leg. A dull throb commenced in his shin. Where did that come from and how did it happen? He was going to ask someone to tell him everything that happened after he returned from Rosie's and he suspected that Hope knew the details best. He had a blurry memory of her face among a crowd of other faces.

When Hawkeye stood up, he felt lightheaded. He plopped back down on to his seat, nearly knocking BJ's cup out of his hand and spilling hot coffee on his lap.

"Easy Hawk, don't make any sudden moves! Please, you've already socked me in jaw. Don't add burning me to the list of injuries caused by you."

"I'm sorry Beej. I just need to talk to Hope and find out what happened last night."

"I think you better wait until you're steady on your feet. You don't wanna fall on your face trying to get to her."

"Yeah, you're right. I've already made a memorable impression on her as it is."

Charles chuckled and said, "You certainly have my friend. Oh look, she's leaving with the priest." The major pointed at Hope and Francis as they walked out of the mess tent. "I wonder where they are going."

A wave of both jealousy and regret washed through Hawkeye. "Me, too."

* * *

When Hope and Francis entered Colonel Potter's office, he was waiting for them along with Major Houlihan. The chief nurse was standing by his desk with her arms crossed.

The colonel pointed at the two empty chairs sitting in front of his desk. "Have a seat."

Hope's heart was going 90 miles an hour as she sat down. Without thinking, she gripped the arms of her chair so hard that her knuckles started turning white. Then her legs started shaking like they did when she had stage fright. She glanced at the Colonel's liquor cabinet wishing for a little liquid courage, but knew it would not be offered to her at that time of the day.

Colonel Potter cleared his throat and leaned forward. "I don't know any other way to ask this question, so I'm not going to sugar coat it." He paused for a millisecond and then continued, "Is there something going on between you two?"

Hope glanced at Francis and before she could open her mouth to answer, he said, "Yes sir, there is. And it's my fault."

Three shocked faces looked at him. The one most affected was Hope. "Sorry Francis, but that's not true. I mean the part about it being your fault. I was sent here and circumstances threw us together. If it's anybody's fault, blame the Army."

The priest shook his head. "Hope, I'm the one that pursued you. I told you I was in love with you before you ever told me you felt the same way."

The colonel held up his hand. "Enough of that. What I want to know is what are you going to do about it?"

Hope told the Colonel the same thing she had told Francis the night before. "Sir, I think it would be best if I were transferred out of this unit. My presence here has been disruptive and I've spent half my time here not being able to fully do my job. I'm sure Major Houlihan will agree on that point."

"That's true," the head nurse agreed. "Lieutenant Jones seems to have a talent for getting hurt."

"Major!" protested Francis. "She didn't do it on purpose. Things just happened."

Hope reached out and touched his shoulder. "It's alright Francis."

Colonel Potter lightly pounded on the desk. "You two still haven't answered my question. What are you going to do about the way you feel?"

Major Houlihan gave the CO an exasperated look. "Colonel, that's none of our business unless it affects the performance of their duties. We should only be concerned about what's good for the 4077th."

Colonel Potter held up his hand. He wanted an answer to his question and not just because Hope and Francis were under his command. They were family to him and he cared about what happened to them.

Hope and Francis looked at each other. A look in her eyes let him know that he should answer the Colonel.

"We plan on getting married when the time is right. A lot has to happen before then. I have to give up holy orders. That's the main thing and then there's this war…. We can't get married until it's over."

"Oh Lord, please make that soon," Hope prayed silently.

"Well I wish both of you all the best. The Church will lose a fine priest, but I think Lieutenant Jones will gain an equally fine husband," Colonel Potter told them. "Now Lieutenant as to your request for a transfer; I want to talk to Major Houlihan about it. I'll let you know what we decide."

Hope responded with a quiet "Thank you, sir. And please, let's keep this to the four of us."

He leaned forward and said, ""Of course, Lieutenant. And for the moment, you two conduct yourselves like officers. In other words, keep your hands off each other, at least in public. I have no control over what you do in private. And besides someone higher up than me is watching you." The colonel pointed heavenward.

Francis blushed furiously at the colonel's last sentence and stammered, "Yes sir, I understand."

"Alright you two, you're dismissed."

Hope looked at the CO and head nurse and said, "Thank you both."

When they left Colonel Potter's office, Hope and Francis walked a few feet apart from each other. He had a hard time resisting the urge to grab her hand. She stopped in the middle of the compound and looked up at him. "Francis, this the beginning of a long wait to be together, isn't it?"

He knew he had just promised Colonel Potter that there would be no public displays of affection, but he grabbed her hand and held it for a few seconds before he let go and said, "Yes my love, it is."

* * *

From the looks he got from people in the mess tent, Hawkeye thought he must be the only one that couldn't remember what happened after he came back from Rosie's. It seemed whatever happened was the topic of conversation that morning. He had to know and he had to find Hope and beg her to tell him.

Hawkeye stood up again, this time very carefully. "I'm going to find Hope. I want to know what I did or said last night." He pointed in the general direction of the other people in the mess tent. "Everyone else seems to know already."

BJ shook his head. "Are you sure you want to do that, Hawk? She may not be willing to talk to you after what happened last night. Don't you feel bad enough already?"

"Yeah I feel bad, but I've got to know. Why not, she's already ripped my heart out, Guess I'm a glutton for punishment." Hawkeye limped away from the table and out of the mess tent.

Hope was about to enter the Post-Op ward. She wanted to see Sam before he was sent back to his unit that day. A man's hand covered her hand as she went to open the door.

"Wait a minute, please?" She turned around to look up at Hawkeye, his eyes pleading with her.

Hope was surprised that she didn't feel anger towards him, but pity instead. And she felt guilty that she hurt him, but what was she supposed to do?

"O.K. Hawkeye, what do you want?"

"I need to know…I want to know what happened last night. Did I do something to hurt you, something stupid?"

Hope led him over to a nearby bench. "Sit down and I'll tell you."

He sat down next to her, his thigh touching hers. She scooted away a few inches. "When you left wherever you'd been drinking, you came to the middle of the compound and started yelling for me, calling out my full name. I was in Post-Op visiting with a patient when I heard you. Right away I knew it was you because you're the only one in this camp that knows my middle name is Juliet. I came out of Post-Op to see you surrounded by Colonel Potter, Klinger, Major Houlihan and several other people. The colonel ordered Klinger to take you to the Swamp, but you were not in cooperative frame of mind. I asked you what you wanted. You told me you wanted me to love you. Then I told you that it was not the time to talk about it. I tried to get you to go to your tent. Instead you grabbed me and kissed me. I kicked you in the shin on your right leg because you wouldn't let go of me."

Hawkeye rubbed his leg. Now he knew the reason it was throbbing so much.

She continued, "I accused you of inappropriate behavior and you threw it back in my face by saying I was fooling around with a priest." Hope stopped talking long enough to take a deep breath. "At that point Colonel Potter had had enough and ordered everyone back to bed. Klinger somehow managed to get you to the Swamp."

He sat there and processed what she had told him. Hawkeye had made a damned fool of himself over her and for nothing. She was not going to love him, no matter what he did. Colonel Potter was right; he had to learn how to lose.

The sadness in his eyes broke her heart. Now she was sure her decision to ask for a transfer was the right thing to do. Maybe with time and distance between them, he could move on and get over losing her.

_**A Kiss to Build a Dream On **_**was written in 1935 by Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby, and Oscar Hammerstein. It was recorded by Louis Armstrong in 1951.**

**By asking for a transfer, Hope feels that things will be better for everyone if she's gone from the 4077****th ****. She wants to protect Francis' reputation and she thinks if she's not around that Hawkeye might get over his feelings for her. Is she running away again?**

**Hope and Francis are committed to each other and their commitment will be tested.**

**Thank you so much for reading! **


	50. Chapter 50 The Best Thing to Do

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 50- THE BEST THING TO DO**

**Disclaimer- **Hawkeye, Father Mulcahy and the other M*A*S*H characters are not my creation. Only Hope Jones and Sam Winters come from my imagination.

* * *

"Who in the world is standing outside calling for you? Why don't they just come in here if they want to see you?" Sam Winters asked Hope. She had come over to Post-Op to visit him and they were playing cards.

She knew who it was. It was Hawkeye. He had yelled her full name and he was the only one in camp that knew her middle name was Juliet. "Excuse me Sam, I better go see what they want."

Hope walked outside of Post-Op to the sight of a small crowd of people in their nightclothes, including Colonel Potter, Major Houlihan and Klinger, were standing around Hawkeye. Colonel Potter and Klinger were trying to calm him down, but he was having none of it.

Colonel Potter had been sound asleep until Hawkeye started yelling for Hope. He was not in a good mood and just wanted to crawl back in bed instead of playing nanny to a bunch of grown -ups. "Klinger, see if you can corral Pierce and get him back to the Swamp."

When Hawkeye saw Hope walking toward the little audience that had formed around him, he smiled and said a little too loudly, "There she is. There's my Juliet."

She got within a foot of him and stepped back, the fumes from the alcohol on his breath were overpowering. "Hawkeye what do you want?"

"You."

"I'm here. Now what do you want?"

"I want you to love me."

Hope rubbed her forehead and sighed. "Look, this isn't the time or the place for this conversation. Why don't you go to bed?"

"Why don't you come with me? Remember when I held you while you slept?"

Even though she knew Hawkeye was very drunk when he said that she had slept with him, Hope was embarrassed beyond words. She walked up to him and grabbed his arm. "Come on Hawkeye. Enough is enough. You're going to the Swamp."

He put his other arm around her, pulled her close, pinning her arms against his chest and kissed her. She struggled against him and finally resorted to kicking him in the shin so he would let go of her. He grabbed his leg and rubbed it.

"Ow! Why did you do that?"

"Because your behavior is highly inappropriate!"

"And yours isn't?"

"Hawkeye, what's that supposed to mean?"

"You're the one fooling around with a priest."

Hope was so stunned by what he said that she stumbled backwards in an effort to get away from him. A pair of gentle hands caught her. She turned to see Francis standing behind her in a bathrobe, tufts of his blond hair sticking up and his glasses askew. For half a second, she thought of how much she wanted to wake up every morning with him. Then the reality of the situation brought her back to the present.

Colonel Potter had finally had enough melodrama and shouted, "Alright everybody, show's over! Go to bed. Klinger get Pierce to the Swamp. Padre and Lieutenant Jones, I'll talk to you in the morning."

The crowd dispersed and people went back to their tents. As Klinger led him off to the Swamp, Hawkeye turned around and gave Hope a longing look. Her heart ached for him, but she couldn't help the way she felt. She told Francis, "Hawkeye can't stand the fact that I chose you over him. I guess he decided if he's miserable, everyone else should be, too. It would be for the best if I put in for a transfer. Then I wouldn't be around to cause so much drama."

The thought of not being around Hope tore through Francis' heart. He understood the reality of Army life; personnel got transferred all the time but he couldn't imagine life without her. He reached out and lifted her chin so she would look him in the eye. "Hope, I don't want you to go. I love you."

"It might be for the best, you are needed here. You should stay. There are a lot more nurses than chaplains to go around. I can be replaced."

"Hope, please don't talk about it anymore tonight. Tomorrow morning is soon enough for that." He looked around to make sure no one was watching and took her hand. Then he led her into the shadows behind the tents. "No more talking now." He pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her gently at first. It gathered intensity the longer he kissed Hope and the more she responded.

She pulled away to catch her breath. "You're pretty good at this for someone who doesn't have much practice."

He chuckled and said, "You don't know that I was "spin the bottle" champ when I was twelve."

"No, you never told me about that. O.k. Champ, show me what you got." Hope stood on her tip toes and put her arms around his neck. She pressed her body into his and he responded with a soft moan as she kissed him.

Francis reached under her shirt and rubbed her back. His hand brushed the back of her bra and he was tempted to unfasten it. Hope whispered, "It's alright if you want to do that. I won't mind."

He quickly pulled his hand away. "Hope if I start there I might not want to stop." He ran his fingers through her hair. His desire for her was something that he could almost taste and touch. "I think you should go to bed now. It's very late."

"Your bed?" Hope laughed softly and stoked his face with her fingertips. Her playfulness excited him and he was ready to pick her up and take her there but somehow the low, soft voice of reason inside his head got through and he said, "No Hope, you should go to your own bed. Alone."

"Alright, but as the song says, "give me a kiss to build a dream on." She looked up at him and started singing softly,

_Give me a kiss to build a dream on  
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss  
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this  
A kiss to build a dream on_

_Give me a kiss before you leave me_  
_And my imagination will feed my hungry heart_  
_Leave me one thing before we part_  
_A kiss to build a dream on_

He smiled and said, "Well, since you asked so nicely." Francis started kissing her at her forehead and worked his way to her cheeks, ears and finally her mouth. Her lips parted and he explored the sweet warmth of her mouth with his tongue. He loved the way she tasted and he could never get enough.

He reluctantly let her go. "Good night, Hope. I love you."

She backed away a few inches and looked up at him. "I love you, too. No matter what happens, please believe that. That may be all we have to hold on to."

* * *

He felt so bad, he hoped he was dead. No one's head could hurt so much and live. When the sun hit his face, Hawkeye mumbled loudly, "Hey, turn off the light. Can't you let a man die in peace?"

"No such luck my friend," BJ moaned.

Hawkeye sat up on the edge of his bed, shielding his eyes from the sunlight. "Oh god, it's morning."

Charles Winchester growled and threw a pillow at him. "Brilliant observation, Pierce!"

Hawkeye ducked and the pillow missed hitting him in the face by a gnat's breadth. "What the hell happened last night? I remembering going to Rosie's Bar with you two and then coming back to camp where someone was yelling their head off."

"Hawk, that person was you," BJ told him.

"Me? Why was I yelling?"

"It wasn't a "why"; it was a "who"."

"Who was I yelling at?"

When BJ hesitated to tell Hawkeye that he had been yelling for Hope in the middle of the compound, Charles readily volunteered the information. "You were looking for Hope. You called out her full name; Hope Juliet Jones. After that, the details are hazy in my mind."

"So you can't tell me what happened after that?" Hawkeye asked him.

"Nope," the Bostonian answered.

Hawkeye looked over at BJ for an answer to the question and saw his face. Someone had socked him in the jaw and there was a large bruise. "Who did that? Did you get in a fight at Rosie's?"

BJ rubbed his jaw. "You did it Hawkeye."

"This just gets better and better." Hawkeye held his head with his hands trying to make the tent stop spinning. "Guess I'll find out soon enough from someone else in camp."

"No doubt, it is fodder for this morning's gossip in the mess tent," Charles observed.

* * *

The more she thought about the impending conversation with Colonel Potter, the more anxious Hope became. For a few moments the night before, she had forgotten about everything but being in Francis' arms, kissing him. It was the whole universe and time stood still then. But time would not be held back and morning came with a strong dose of reality.

She found her way to the mess tent and got a cup of coffee, not bothering to even look at what was being served for breakfast. Her stomach wasn't that brave. Hope sat down beside Francis and noticed he only had a cup of coffee as well.

"Can't face breakfast either?" she asked him.

He sighed, "No, my stomach is full of butterflies. You know why?"

"Yeah, I do. I'm nervous about what Colonel Potter is going to say about what happened last night. And about…"

"Us?"

"Yes Francis, about us. "

Gathering the courage to ask Hope if she was still thinking about asking Colonel Potter to transfer her, he looked down at his coffee cup. When he looked up he asked her, "Do you still think you should request a transfer?"

She sighed and gripped the edge of the table with her burned hand. It hurt, but she thought the distraction of that pain would override the pain she felt about the answer to his question. In a husky whisper she said, "Yes. I think it's the best thing to do."

He took her good hand and held it and wished they were someplace else. But then he thought if they weren't in Korea, they wouldn't have met. "Hope, I'm sorry you feel that you have leave. The decision is yours and I would never tell you what to do."

An even more important question was on both their minds and they both blurted out at the same time, "Do you still want to get married?"

The buzz of conversation in the mess tent ceased instantly. Every head turned in their direction. Hope and Francis fell silent. Finally everyone else resumed talking.

Hope whispered, "Yes, I do. I love you." She held her breath and looked at him expectantly, hoping for the same response.

He smiled at her. "Of course, I love you and want to spend my life with you."

With his assurance of that he still wanted to marry her, Hope relaxed somewhat and felt she was ready for their meeting with Colonel Potter.

* * *

The buzz of conversation stopped again when Hawkeye, BJ and Charles came dragging in the mess tent. The trio bypassed the serving line and went straight for the coffee urn. Once they had their coffee they found an empty table on the opposite end of the tent from where Hope and Francis were sitting.

For five minutes or more, Hawkeye sat staring into his coffee. He wished he could drown in it.

"Hawk, you're supposed to drink it, not study it," BJ told him.

Hawkeye picked up his coffee and took a long sip before sitting the cup back down on the table. He made a face. The stuff was exceptionally nasty that morning which just compounded how awful he felt. He picked up the cup and took another sip with his eyes closed. Maybe it wouldn't taste so bad if he couldn't see it. When sat the cup down again, he opened his eyes to see people looking at him and then at Father Mulcahy and Hope. Yes, Charles was right. The chief surgeon, the priest and the nurse were fodder for gossip.

His shifted in his seat and accidentally knocked his right leg against the table leg. A dull throb commenced in his shin. Where did that come from and how did it happen? He was going to ask someone to tell him everything that happened after he returned from Rosie's and he suspected that Hope knew the details best. He had a blurry memory of her face among a crowd of other faces.

When Hawkeye stood up, he felt lightheaded. He plopped back down on to his seat, nearly knocking BJ's cup out of his hand and spilling hot coffee on his lap.

"Easy Hawk, don't make any sudden moves! Please, you've already socked me in jaw. Don't add burning me to the list of injuries caused by you."

"I'm sorry Beej. I just need to talk to Hope and find out what happened last night."

"I think you better wait until you're steady on your feet. You don't wanna fall on your face trying to get to her."

"Yeah, you're right. I've already made a memorable impression on her as it is."

Charles chuckled and said, "You certainly have my friend. Oh look, she's leaving with the priest." The major pointed at Hope and Francis as they walked out of the mess tent. "I wonder where they are going."

A wave of both jealousy and regret washed through Hawkeye. "Me, too."

* * *

When Hope and Francis entered Colonel Potter's office, he was waiting for them along with Major Houlihan. The head nurse was standing by his desk with her arms crossed.

The colonel pointed at the two empty chairs sitting in front of his desk. "Have a seat."

Hope's heart was going 90 miles an hour as she sat down. Without thinking, she gripped the arms of her chair so hard that her knuckles started turning white. Then her legs started shaking like they did when she had stage fright. She glanced at the Colonel's liquor cabinet wishing for a little liquid courage, but knew it would not be offered to her at that time of the day.

Colonel Potter cleared his throat and leaned forward. "I don't know any other way to ask this question, so I'm not going to sugar coat it." He paused for a millisecond and then continued, "Is there something going on between you two?"

Hope glanced at Francis and before she could open her mouth to answer, he said, "Yes sir, there is. And it's my fault."

Three shocked faces looked at him. The one most affected was Hope. "Sorry Francis, but that's not true. I mean the part about it being your fault. I was sent here and circumstances threw us together. If it's anybody's fault, blame the Army."

The priest shook his head. "Hope, I'm the one that pursued you. I told you I was in love with you before you ever told me you felt the same way."

The colonel held up his hand. "Enough of that. What I want to know is what are you going to do about it?"

Hope told the Colonel the same thing she had told Francis the night before. "Sir, I think it would be best if I were transferred out of this unit. My presence here has been disruptive and I've spent half my time here not being able to fully do my job. I'm sure Major Houlihan will agree on that point."

"That's true," the head nurse agreed. "Lieutenant Jones seems to have a talent for getting hurt."

"Major!" protested Francis. "She didn't do it on purpose. Things just happened."

Hope reached out and touched his shoulder. "It's alright Francis."

Colonel Potter lightly pounded on the desk. "You two still haven't answered my question. What are you going to do about the way you feel?"

Major Houlihan gave the CO an exasperated look. "Colonel, that's none of our business unless it affects the performance of their duties. We should only be concerned about what's good for the 4077th."

Colonel Potter held up his hand. He wanted an answer to his question and not just because Hope and Francis were under his command. They were family to him and he cared about what happened to them.

Hope and Francis looked at each other. A look in her eyes let him know that he should answer the Colonel.

"We plan on getting married when the time is right. A lot has to happen before then. I have to give up holy orders. That's the main thing and then there's this war…. We can't get married until it's over."

"Oh Lord, please make that soon," Hope prayed silently.

"Well I wish both of you all the best. The Church will lose a fine priest, but I think Lieutenant Jones will gain an equally fine husband," Colonel Potter told them. "Now Lieutenant as to your request for a transfer; I want to talk to Major Houlihan about it. I'll let you know what we decide."

Hope responded with a quiet "Thank you, sir. And please, let's keep this to the four of us."

He leaned forward and said, ""Of course, Lieutenant. And for the moment, you two conduct yourselves like officers. In other words, keep your hands off each other, at least in public. I have no control over what you do in private. And besides someone higher up than me is watching you." The colonel pointed heavenward.

Francis blushed furiously at the colonel's last sentence and stammered, "Yes sir, I understand."

"Alright you two, you're dismissed."

Hope looked at the CO and head nurse and said, "Thank you both."

When they left Colonel Potter's office, Hope and Francis walked a few feet apart from each other. He had a hard time resisting the urge to grab her hand. She stopped in the middle of the compound and looked up at him. "Francis, this the beginning of a long wait to be together, isn't it?"

He knew he had just promised Colonel Potter that there would be no public displays of affection, but he grabbed her hand and held it for a few seconds before he let go and said, "Yes my love, it is."

* * *

From the looks he got from people in the mess tent, Hawkeye thought he must be the only one that couldn't remember what happened after he came back from Rosie's. It seemed what had happened the night before was the topic of conversation that morning. He had to know and he had to find Hope and beg her to tell him.

Hawkeye stood up again, this time very carefully. "I'm going to find Hope. I want to know what I did or said last night." He pointed in the general direction of the other people in the mess tent. "Everyone else seems to know already."

BJ shook his head. "Are you sure you want to do that, Hawk? She may not be willing to talk to you after what happened last night. Don't you feel bad enough already?"

"Yeah I feel bad, but I've got to know. Why not, she's already ripped my heart out, Guess I'm a glutton for punishment." Hawkeye limped away from the table and out of the mess tent.

Hope was about to enter the Post-Op ward. She wanted to see Sam before he was sent back to his unit that day. A man's hand covered her hand as she went to open the door.

"Wait a minute, please?" She turned around to look up at Hawkeye, his eyes pleading with her.

Hope was surprised that she didn't feel anger towards him, but pity instead. And she felt guilty that she hurt him, but what was she supposed to do?

"O.K. Hawkeye, what do you want?"

"I need to know…I want to know what happened last night. Did I do something to hurt you, something stupid?"

Hope led him over to a nearby bench. "Sit down and I'll tell you."

He sat down next to her, his thigh touching hers. She scooted away a few inches. "When you left wherever you'd been drinking, you came to the middle of the compound and started yelling for me, calling out my full name. I was in Post-Op visiting with a patient when I heard you. Right away I knew it was you because you're the only one in this camp that knows my middle name is Juliet. I came out of Post-Op to see you surrounded by Colonel Potter, Klinger, Major Houlihan and several other people. The colonel ordered Klinger to take you to the Swamp, but you were not in cooperative frame of mind. I asked you what you wanted. You told me you wanted me to love you. Then I told you that it was not the time to talk about it. I tried to get you to go to your tent. Instead you grabbed me and kissed me. I kicked you in the shin on your right leg because you wouldn't let go of me."

Hawkeye rubbed his leg. Now he knew the reason it was throbbing so much.

She continued, "I accused you of inappropriate behavior and you threw it back in my face by saying I was fooling around with a priest." Hope stopped talking long enough to take a deep breath. "At that point Colonel Potter had had enough and ordered everyone back to bed. Klinger somehow managed to get you to the Swamp."

He sat there and processed what she had told him. Hawkeye had made a damned fool of himself over her and for nothing. She was not going to love him, no matter what he did. Colonel Potter was right; he had to learn how to lose.

The sadness in his eyes broke her heart. Now she was sure her decision to ask for a transfer was the right thing to do. Maybe with time and distance between them, he could move on and get over losing her.

_**A Kiss to Build a Dream On **_**was written in 1935 by Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby, and Oscar Hammerstein. It was recorded by Louis Armstrong in 1951.**

**By asking for a transfer, Hope feels that things will be better for everyone if she's gone from the 4077****th ****. She wants to protect Francis' reputation and she thinks if she's not around that Hawkeye might get over his feelings for her. Is she running away again?**

**Hope and Francis are committed to each other and their commitment will be tested.**

**Thank you so much for reading! **


	51. Chapter 51 Alone Together

**HOPE'S**** CALLING- CHAPTER 51- ALONE TOGETHER**

**Disclaimer- **When it comes to the characters from M*A*S*H, the only thing I own is a great affection for them and the best TV show ever made. I do own Lieutenant Hope Jones and her family.

* * *

"Well Major, what do we do with Lieutenant Jones?" Colonel Potter asked Margaret Houlihan. "I hate to see her go, but maybe it's for the best. She's part of your nursing staff, though. Are you willing to transfer her out?"

"Colonel, Lieutenant Jones hasn't been able to fulfill all her duties since she's been here. I need all of my nurses to be able to perform all the time, " Margaret responded.

"Come on Margaret, just answer my question. Do you want her transferred out or not?"

"Out. She's become too much of a distraction for certain personnel in this unit and you know it."

Potter sighed and exhaled a long breath. "You're right. It's time to see where I can send her and if we can get a replacement."

* * *

After Hope told him what had happened the night before, Hawkeye went back to the Swamp. He wasn't on duty until that evening so he thought he would go back and try to sleep for a while to see if he could shake the awful headache he had. It would do nothing for his heartache. He didn't know how to make it go away. Why couldn't he let go?

His dad had told him he would have to figure out if he had found the one woman to share his life with. Hawkeye thought he had. He thought she loved him, even though she'd never said so. Hope joked and flirted with him. She responded to his kisses with passion. It had felt so natural to hold her while she slept beside him.

BJ had asked him if he wanted Hope just because someone else wanted her, too. Could that be true? He didn't think so.

Hawkeye lay there on his back with his arm over his eyes. If he could just sleep for a little while and forget about everything. Finally, he fell asleep.

_She was lying beside him. He could feel her breath on his neck. Her hand was on his face and she whispered in his ear, "Hawkeye, I was wrong. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I really do love you." _

_He smiled and told her, "Hope, of course I forgive you. I love you." He kissed her and murmured "I've won." Suddenly she pulled away from him and sat up._

"_You've won? Is that all I am to you? A prize?" She got out of the bed and stood beside it. "You don't want me for me, you just want me because someone else does. "_

_As she walked out of the tent, Hawkeye called after her. "Come back! Please come back! I need you!"_

_She ignored him and continued to walk away. He got up and followed her. She was almost within reach. He put out his hand to touch her and she faded away._

He woke up with a strangled cry caught in his throat. His heart was pounding. The dream was vivid and real and so was the sense of loss. He pushed his shaking hands through his hair and rubbed his face. His face felt damp. Was it was perspiration or something else? Tears, maybe? What in the hell was wrong with him? He found the thought of not having her in his life very hard to accept.

* * *

When Hope left the mess tent to talk to Hawkeye, Francis went back to his tent. He sat down at his desk and picked up his Bible. It had always been a source of comfort and guidance for him and he certainly needed both at the time. When he opened the Bible for some reason it he found his finger on the book of poetry know as the Song of Solomon. Some people considered it to be poetry about the relationship of God and his people. Others believed that they were indeed poems about the deep love between a man and a woman. For some reason, all he could think of was Hope. His eyes fell on verses from chapter 7. _How fair and how pleasant are thou, O love, for delights! This thy stature is a like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes. _

Suddenly the tent became warm. Francis wondered why there was a sudden temperature change. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and mopped his brow. He resumed his reading. _I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine and the scent of your breath as apples. _

For some reason, he was getting warmer by the minute. He held the Bible in one hand while he fiddled with the button on the back of his clerical collar. Finally he managed to get it off and threw it on the desk. He closed the Bible and put it down. "Now I know what it means to be hot under the collar!"

He was so flustered that the knock on the door startled him. "Who…who is it?" he called out.

Hope answered, "It's me Francis. May I come in?"

"Oh, of course."

When Hope entered his tent, she saw his clerical collar and Bible lying on the desk. His face was flushed and he seemed somewhat agitated. She wondered what had happened for him to be that way.

"Francis, are you alright?"

"Um….yes…no," he answered without looking at her.

"Oh come on now, tell me what's wrong. I love you. You can tell me anything."

He swallowed hard and looked up at her. "I picked up the Bible to read and by chance I opened it to the Song of Solomon. Of course, I've read it before. This time it took on a new meaning and I…uh….Well, let's just say that I found it rather…steamy."

Hope came over and knelt in front of him. She smiled and asked, "What made it different this time?"

He reached out and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "You. I couldn't help but think of you while I was reading it. "

Hope blushed involuntarily."I see. Some people think that the Song of Solomon is about the relationship between God and his people. Others see it as a love poem."

"How do you see it, Hope?"

She grabbed his hand and held it tightly. "I see it as a love poem; about a very passionate and physical relationship between a man and a woman. _Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine,_ chapter one, verse two."

He leaned toward her and kissed her gently. "How's that?"

She grinned and licked her lips. "Much better than wine. I could get drunk from this." Still kneeling, Hope put her arms around his neck and kissed him. She traced his lips with her tongue. He groaned and then gently pushed her away. It was unexpected and she lost her balance. Her bottom hit the ground with a thud.

"Francis, what's wrong?" Hope couldn't understand why one minute he was kissing her and the next one he had pushed her away.

He shook his head. "I don't think we should be alone together anymore. Not while you're still here."

His words stung and she wondered why he suddenly didn't want her around. Tears filled her eyes as she stood up and backed away. "Alright Francis, if that's what you want."

She was gone before he could explain his actions. What he intended and what Hope perceived were two different things. He needed to find her and explain to her that he was afraid that he would ask her to do something they would both regret. He wanted so much to make love to her, but he wanted it to be in the right time and place; a MASH unit in Korea in the middle of a war was not it. They should be joined as husband and wife in the sacrament of marriage before he took her to his bed.

* * *

Hope stood by Francis' tent for several minutes before she walked away wondering if she made a mistake in falling in love with him. How could she be so sure one minute and so unsure the next? They were in an impossible situation. A life after the war seemed like a far away dream. Maybe the best anyone could do was to take each moment as it came and not worry about anything else. But she wanted to share those moments with him.

She finally walked away from Francis' tent with no particular destination in mind. Hope wandered the compound for half an hour before she walked into the O club. It was much too early for the place to be open and it was dark, but she didn't care. It was a place to be alone and think or so she thought until a figure moved in the darkness. A strangled scream caught in her throat. Her heart raced as she gathered her wits and asked, "Who's in here?"

"It's me," the figure answered.

"Me who?" Hope stammered.

"Hawkeye," he answered and touched her arm.

The scream she had been holding in came out. Hawkeye jumped back a few feet and yelped, "Hope, what are you doing here?"

She swallow hard and then answered, "I could ask you the same question. Since you were already here when I came in, you answer first."

Before he responded, Hawkeye carefully felt his way over to the light switch and flipped it on. He pointed towards a table in the back corner of the O club. "Come sit down and I'll tell you."

Once seated, she crossed her arms and said, "Alright, here I am. Now tell me why you're here."

"I came in here to think. After you told me what happened last night, I went to the Swamp to try and shake this god awful hangover. I fell asleep, had a bad dream and here I am." He wasn't going to elaborate about the contents of the bad dream."Now Hope, tell me why you're here."

Hope hesitated. She felt rather foolish to admit that Francis had hurt her feelings by telling her they shouldn't be alone together. It was too complicated to be in love with someone and not be able to be alone with them. There must be a logical explanation for his change of mind, but at that moment all she felt was rejection.

Hope exhaled a long breath before she said, "I don't know about me and Francis. It's just too complicated."

"Giving up so soon? Why? What happened?" Hawkeye asked.

"He thinks that we shouldn't be alone together as long as I'm still here."

"What do you mean by "still here"?"

"I asked Colonel Potter to have me transferred out. I think it would be best for all concerned."

Hawkeye shook his head. He didn't like the idea of her not being around even though she had made it plain that she didn't love him. "Oh Hope, I wish you hadn't done that."

"I think it's better for everyone if I'm not around anymore."Hope uncrossed her arms and put both hands on the table. Her voice trembled and she struggled to hold back tears. "Francis could devote his full attention to his work and maybe if you didn't see me all the time, it would be easier on you as well."

Hawkeye reached out and took her right hand. "You don't think you're running away again?"

"I don't know. I am just trying to make things easier on the people I care about." Hope attempted to brush away a tear from her cheek with her bandaged hand and missed.

Hawkeye wanted so much to comfort her. He couldn't help it. He still loved her. He reached up and brushed the tear away and let his hand linger for a few moments. "You want everything to be perfect don't you? With no conflict or hurt feelings. Life is not like that Hope. It's not neat or pretty. It's messy, just like this damn war."

"I guess I'm pretty naïve. Must be my age."

Hawkeye had never thought about her age in all the time he'd known her. It hadn't seemed very important. Now he wondered. "Hope, how old are you?"

"Twenty-five, almost twenty-six. Now that you know, you probably think I'm just a kid; a dumb one to boot, to be swept away by emotion."

"Hope, age has nothing to do with it. It's called being human." Without thinking, Hawkeye touched her cheek and was surprised that she didn't stop him.

* * *

After Hope left his tent so abruptly, Francis regretted what he had done, even though his motive was to protect her. He wanted to go after her and explain the reason for pushing her away. She was hurt and he knew it, but her warm and passionate nature made him believe that she would have done anything he asked of her. He loved her too much to take advantage of her. Anthony MacMillan had done that to her already.

"If only," he thought. "If only this war was over. If we were stateside. If I wasn't a priest. If, if, if…."

A knock on his door interrupted his ruminations. "Who is it?"

"Father, it's Major Winchester," answered a voice from the other side of the door. "May I come in?"

Francis got up and opened the door, wondering why Winchester wanted to see him. "Yes Major, how can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Lieutenant Jones. I haven't been able to find her and thought she might be here with you. I wanted to take a look at her burned hand and change the dressing."

"She was here, but she left abruptly over half an hour ago. I don't know where she is. I hope she's alright."

"Well perhaps we should look for her," Winchester suggested.

"Yes, I think that's a good idea." Francis wanted to find Hope and explain why he pushed her away.

Father Mulcahy and Major Winchester searched for Hope in every place they thought she might be; the mess tent, supply, the lab, the dispensary, or Post-Op. She wasn't in Klinger's or Colonel Potter's offices either. Then the Major remembered the time he found Hope sitting at the piano in the O club. "Father I think I know where she is."

"Where, Major?"

"The Officer's club."

Sure enough, she was there but she wasn't sitting alone in the dark this time. Winchester and Father Mulcahy entered the O club to find the lights on. Hope and Hawkeye were sitting at a table deep in conversation and he was holding her hand.

"Ah, there you are Lieutenant," the Major called out.

Hope looked up to see Francis and Major Winchester standing by the door. She quickly moved her hand out of Hawkeye's grasp. "Have you been looking for me?"

Francis answered her question. "Yes, we have. Major Winchester wants to look at your injured hand and I want to talk to you …privately."

From the tone of his voice, Hope could tell he was upset. Maybe it was because she was with Hawkeye. All she had done was talk to him. Yes, he held her hand. As strange as it seemed, the man she'd hurt had been comforting her. Would Francis believe that's all it was?

* * *

Colonel Potter was a frustrated man. He had spent the morning on the phone calling other units to see if they would take Lieutenant Jones. At the time, the 8063rd and 8055th MASH units had a full complement of nurses. The Head Nurses of both units did not want to exchange any of their staff for Hope. He'd also called the 121st Evac Hospital and they couldn't use her either. He would have to go farther afield, like Tokyo General or a stateside post to try and place her.

He was tired of being on the phone. He would work on her transfer later. There was a ton of paperwork sitting on his desk begging for attention and wouldn't get done if he didn't get started on it. In a way, he was glad to do something besides wrestle with the problem of what to do with Lieutenant Hope Jones. He might just have to tell he that she was going to be with 4077th for a while longer.

**Now Hope is questioning her relationship with Francis. She doesn't think she has what it takes to hang on and wait for the time to be right for them. Could this work in Hawkeye's favor?**

**Thanks kind readers for you support. It is greatly appreciated**


	52. Chapter 52 An Explanation

**HOPE'S CALLING – CHAPTER 52- AN EXPLANATION**

**Disclaimer- **I love the characters from M*A*S*H but I certainly didn't create them. However, I did create Hope Jones.

Note- The ambulances referred to in this chapter are the ones the Army converted from school buses.

* * *

How do you ever know what you really want? Hope thought about that question while Major Winchester examined her hand and redressed it. She was so lost in thought that he had to call her name several times before she responded.

"Lieutenant, Lieutenant Jones?"

"Hmm? I'm sorry Major, I was thinking. Dangerous thing to do, isn't it?"

He smiled and answered, "It can be. May I ask you something, as your friend? "

"I guess so."

"Is everything alright between you and Father Mulcahy?"

"Why do you ask?"

"When I was looking for you, I went to his tent thinking you might be there. He told me you had left him abruptly. He seemed quite upset about it. "

She sighed, "As to whether or not things are alright between me and Francis, I don't know. I can't imagine that it helped matters for him to find me sitting in the O club with Hawkeye holding my hand. "

"Father Mulcahy will probably want an explanation for that."

"I don't doubt it. But he's not the only one that wants someone to give an explanation for their actions."

Winchester raised an eyebrow. Had the priest done something to upset the Lieutenant and was that the reason she was in the O club with Pierce?

The PA system crackled to life and cut short their conversation. There were incoming wounded and personal matters would have to be put aside for the time being.

* * *

Twelve hours of non-stop surgery didn't help Francis Mulcahy's anxiety about the way Hope had reacted to him pushing her away. Although he was quite busy helping in OR, time seemed to drag on. He could hardly wait until he had a moment to speak to her.

It must have been close to two a.m. when the last patient had been taken from the OR to Post-Op. Hope left Pre-Op where she had been working and headed towards the VIP tent to collapse on her bed. She was too tired to move, much less think about anything but sleep.

"Hope," a voice called softly. She turned to see Francis standing a few feet away from her. What did he want at this ungodly hour? "Yes Francis, what is it and can it wait until we've both had a few hours of sleep?"

He closed the gap between them and touched her arm. She pulled away from him and said, "No touching in public. Remember what Colonel Potter said?"

Francis looked around, no one was anywhere near them. They could have been the only two people for miles around. "Hope, there's no one around to see us. I've wanted to talk to you since you left my tent so hurriedly. I think you misunderstood me."

She crossed her arms and sighed, "That's quite possible. What was I supposed to think? At first, it's just fine and dandy that you kiss me and then when I kiss you, you push me away and you tell me we shouldn't be together alone. If you're having second thoughts about our relationship, just say so." She was tired, her feelings had been hurt and she was in no mood to hear what he had to say. Hope turned and walked into her tent without giving Francis a chance to respond.

He stood there for a minute or so hoping she would change her mind and come out and let him explain why he had pushed her away when she was kissing him. Finally, he went to his tent and tried to go to sleep without much success. How could he tell he loved her, but that being alone with her was like putting gasoline on a fire? The fire could get out of control and there would be no way to stop it. He had a taste of her passionate nature and he didn't think she would have resisted any advances he made toward her to become more intimate. Francis felt he was wrestling temptation like Jacob wrestled with the angel.

When he finally fell into a fitful sleep, he was visited by dreams about Hope that made anything he could have imagined in the daytime pale in comparison. He woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily and very aroused. What in the world was he going to do? He loved her; he wanted her and wished they had been married yesterday. At five in the morning Francis Mulcahy decided to take a cold shower. It would be a very temporary solution to what was going to be an ongoing problem for the foreseeable future.

* * *

Hawkeye didn't sleep at all once he left surgery. His conversation with Hope in the O club gave him a feeling that he still might have a chance with her. At first he lay in his bed and closed his eyes expecting to fall asleep immediately after a twelve hour stint in surgery. When sleep didn't come by four thirty, he finally decided to get up and go for a walk.

He didn't expect to see anyone else out in the compound except the sentry but there was Hope still wearing fatigues, sitting on a bench in front of the mess tent. He sat down next to her and said, "Is this were Insomniacs Anonymous is meeting?"

She chuckled and replied, "Yes, it is. I think I'm a charter member. Maybe we should collect dues or something."

Hawkeye laughed. "Yeah, and our motto can be "we never sleep"."

Without thinking, Hope leaned against him. His presence was comforting. At that moment they were just two people who couldn't sleep, nothing more; at least in her mind.

What was on Hawkeye's mind was a little different. He put his arm around her and she didn't resist. In fact, she settled in against him like it was the most natural thing in the world. A little glimmer of hope rose up inside him. He started to kiss her, but he didn't want to spoil the moment. They sat in companionable silence for a while until they saw someone walking to the shower.

Hope recognized the person. It was Francis. She had seen him in the shadows enough to recognize his silhouette. He seemed focused on getting to the shower and didn't notice her and Hawkeye sitting by the mess tent. For that she was thankful. He'd already seen her with Hawkeye in the O club and she thought for sure that Francis wasn't happy about it.

"Wonder why Father Mulcahy is up so early?" Hawkeye mused.

"He probably couldn't sleep either. Who knows why people do what they do?" Hope responded.

"Hope, did he ever have that private talk with you?"

"No. There wasn't time with all the wounded that came in right after he found us in the O club. I'm not sure what he wants to talk to me about. I could lie and say I don't care, but I do. That's the reason I couldn't sleep." She looked into his eyes and asked, "What's keeping you awake?"

Hawkeye wanted to say, "You". Instead he offered a reason that was partly true. "I had a lot on my mind. I couldn't shut it off."

Hope ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. "I certainly understand."

Hawkeye absentmindedly rubbed her arm with his fingertips. Hope put her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She relaxed and fell into a light sleep. He was content to sit there holding her as long as she slept.

* * *

After he left the shower, Francis was more aware of his surroundings than he had been before. He saw two people sitting outside the mess tent and thought, "Those two must want to be first in line for breakfast." He looked closer and realized the two people were Hawkeye and Hope, huddled up together with her head on the surgeon's shoulder. Why was she there with Hawkeye? How long had they been sitting there?

When Hawkeye saw the priest approaching them, he gave Hope a gentle nudge. Her eyes fluttered open and she sat up when she saw Francis. Hurt and confusion were evident in his eyes and she thought, "Good, now he knows how I feel!" For just the briefest of moments, her conscience grabbed hold of her and her second thought was," No it's not good." She let the thought pass, she was hurt and angry and not ready to let go of those feelings.

Hawkeye decided it was wise to made himself scarce. "I'll go see if the kitchen crew has coffee ready." He left them and walked into the mess tent.

Reluctantly Hope patted the now empty space beside her and said, "Do you want to sit down and talk?" Then she braced herself for Francis' response.

The few seconds he took to make a response seemed like an eternity to her. Instead of saying anything he sat down beside her, careful not to touch her or look at her face. Hope wondered if he would ever say anything else. Her nerves got the better of her and she asked, "Are you alright? It's mighty early to be up if you don't have to be."

Francis cleared his throat and said, "I could say the same of you, Hope. Why are you up before dawn sitting with Hawkeye in front of the mess tent?"

Hope raked her fingers through her hair and sighed, "I couldn't sleep and I decided to get up instead of tossing and turning in my bed. Hawkeye happened to be awake, too. We were just keeping each other company."

"I see," he responded. "So you had your head on his shoulder, just to keep him company?" The tone of his voice made it evident that he was irritated.

Why did she put her head on Hawkeye's shoulder? Hope wondered if she could give Francis an honest answer that wouldn't upset him further. The truth was that Hope needed comfort and Hawkeye was there to give it. Of course, he was willing to do it. Hope knew he still loved her. Maybe he was trying to worm his way into getting her to change her mind about Francis. In many ways it would be much easier to be in love with the surgeon. Finally she just said, "Yes Francis, I had my head on his shoulder to keep him company."

Francis took off his glasses and made a pretense of looking at the lenses for a moment. Then he looked at her and asked, "Why?" The tone of his voice changed from irritation to pain.

That one word question struck at Hope's heart. It was only a three letter word, but it asked so much. She could tell that he was hurt by what she'd done; by the act of putting her head on Hawkeye's shoulder. If being in love meant taking turns at hurting each other, what good was it? Maybe it was time for her to let him explain to her why he had pushed her away.

Francis rested his left hand on the bench. Hope very gently placed her right hand beside it. "Francis, I'm sorry. I'm hurt because you pushed me away when I kissed you yesterday. I guess I thought I could hurt you by being close to Hawkeye. I was wrong to do that. Now, please tell me why you pushed me away."

He slowly placed his hand over her hand and was glad to see that she didn't pull away. "Hope…it's so difficult to be around you."

She was puzzled and the hurt feeling that she thought just might be starting to heal, reopened like a wound that hadn't been sutured properly. Her heart was bruised again. Hope's voice trembled as she asked him, "What do you mean; it's difficult to be around me?"

By this time, the camp was waking up and people were starting to make their way to the mess tent. Francis wanted so much to explain himself to her, but not in front of other people. "Hope, we need to talk in a more private place."

Now she was not only hurt, but angry. Hope felt like she was on a roller coaster ride with her emotions. She pulled her hand away from his, stood up to face him and with every word she spoke being just a little louder than the one before, "What? A more private place? You're the one that said we shouldn't be alone together. Either you tell me here and now or not at all!"

Francis Mulcahy was a gentle man and a long suffering one as well, but he was about at the end of his tether. If she would only calm down and listen to him, he felt things could be mended. He stood up and gently took hold of her arms. "Now look, we're going to talk. I have something to tell you and I refuse to do it in front of the whole camp. Let's go." He tugged a little, but she tensed her arms. He let go of her and pleaded, "Please Hope. I will leave you alone if you'll just hear me out."

"Alright Francis, let's get this over with. Lead on to wherever you want to go." She was too tired to argue about where they would talk. She followed him back to his tent. He opened the door, but Hope stood in the open doorway and would not move another inch.

"Hope, you're not making this any easier. Please come inside and close the door". He sat at his desk and pulled out the extra chair, indicating he wanted her to sit there. After a minute, she walked inside of the tent, letting the door slam with a resounding smack. It was a satisfying sound to her and it mirrored her mood. She sat down with her arms crossed and her eyes down.

"Look at me." He reached out and lifted her chin. He wanted so much to take her in his arms and kiss her. At that moment she looked like a little girl who was both hurt and mad. "Hope, I love you and I don't want to do anything to cause you pain."

"Oh, really? Then what did you mean by saying that it's difficult to be around me? "

"When you kissed me yesterday, the desire to take you to…" He pointed at the bed and then continued, "was so overwhelming that I almost gave in to it. I was afraid of taking advantage of you. Anthony has already done that to you. You mean much more to me than someone to sleep with. Do you understand now why I said we shouldn't be alone together?"

"I guess so. Do you think I would give in so easily?"

"I didn't want to take the risk of finding out. When I kiss you, I feel like you would give me everything if I would only whisper it in your ear. "

Hope wondered what he meant. "Oh, do you think I'm an easy…"

He preempted what she was going to say. He knew the word she was going to use and he didn't want her to say it because it was not true. "Oh, good Heavens no! Hope, I think you are a very warm and loving woman and that you would give yourself to me to please me."

Hope thought about what he had said. He was right because she had given herself to Anthony because she wanted to please him. Another thought quickly followed; what would have happened if it had been Hawkeye instead of Francis? She recalled Major Houlihan's statement about the chief surgeon being a womanizer. That thought was put aside almost as soon as it came to her mind.

Francis sat there anxiously waiting for Hope's response. He prayed she understood that he loved her and wanted to protect her.

The sound of several ambulances rumbling into the compound prompted another prayer from him. The tone of this one, although silent like the one before, was one of frustration. "Oh come on Lord. Give me a break! I just want get this misunderstanding between me and Hope resolved!"

Both of them immediately left his tent and ran to where the ambulances had been parked. BJ was already inside the first one looking at a patient. He stuck his head out the window and called out, "Father, we need you up here." When Francis got to the young man, it was obvious that he was dying and was beyond medical help.

The priest noticed there were sergeant's strips on what was left of the man's uniform sleeve. "Hello sergeant, I'm Father Mulcahy, the chaplain here."

Between gasps the man told him, "Don't…take offense Father…but is there a Protestant chaplain here?"

Francis almost told the sergeant "no" then he thought of Hope. She certainly wasn't a chaplain, but a she was a Protestant minister's daughter. Maybe she could be of some comfort to the man in his last minutes of life. "BJ, do you see Hope nearby? If you do, please call her. I need her in here."

BJ looked out one of the ambulance windows. "Yes Father, I see her." He called out, "Hope, Father Mulcahy needs you now!"

Hope had been helping a corpsman with another patient. She looked up, puzzled as to why he would want her at that moment. BJ saw her hesitation and called out again, "Hope, right now! Hurry!"

She jumped up and ran to the ambulance. BJ pulled her inside and whispered, "Father Mulcahy has a dying soldier over there asking for a Protestant chaplain. I guess you're the closest thing to one that we've got."

Francis beckoned her over to where the sergeant was lying. "Sergeant, this is Lieutenant Jones. She's here to help you."

The man looked up at her, trying to smile. "I didn't know there were any lady chaplains in the Army."

She knelt down to be at his eye level. Hope smiled and said, "Well Sergeant, I'm not really a chaplain. Will a minister's daughter do?"

"I…suppose…so," he responded weakly.

She took his hand. "Sergeant, what's your name?"

"Danny, Danny King."

"Danny, what can I do for you?"

"Stay with me."

"Sure, I'm not going anywhere." She felt Francis' hand on her shoulder and she was thankful that he was still standing there. His presence helped her remain calm.

"Lieutenant?"

"Yes, Danny?"

"I'm afraid."

"I know. That's why Father Mulcahy and I are here. You're not alone. Sometimes when I'm feeling afraid, I say the Twenty-Third Psalm. You know it?"

"Yes, I do," he whispered. Hope could tell it had become almost impossible for him to breathe much less speak.

"Why don't you rest your voice? I'll say it for both of us."

He nodded and she began -

_The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want._

_He maketh me to lie down in green pasture: He leadeth me beside the still waters._

_He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake._

_Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me: thy rod and thy staff they comfort me._

_Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou annointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over._

_Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever._

Francis squeezed her shoulder and bent down to tell her, "He's gone Hope."

Hope kissed Danny's forehead. "Go in peace Danny. The angels are waiting for you."

When she looked up at Francis, Hope saw the tears in his eyes. It was difficult for her to stay composed, but she managed to whisper, "I've got to go see who needs help. I'll see you later." He helped her up and she quickly left the ambulance.

As Hope ran to see where she could be of help next, the realization that her hurt feelings and the trials of being in love with a man who was still a priest paled in comparison to the death of a young man in war. For Danny King, there was no future, no chance to change or make things right with loved ones. She still had that chance to make things right with Francis and she prayed that she would have the opportunity to do it very soon.

**It took a dying soldier for Hope to realize how important it was to make things right with Francis. Will her prayer be answered?**

**As to Hawkeye, will he continue to try and win Hope back?**

**To everyone who reads this story, I say thank you! And if you will, please review!**


	53. Chapter 53 Not Giving Up

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 53- NOT GIVING UP**

**Disclaimer-** Father Mulcahy, Hawkeye, BJ and the other characters from M*A*S*H were created by a smarter folks than me. However, the Jones family and Hope's cousin, Tommy come from my imagination.

**Note- **Crawford W. Long Hospital in Atlanta does exist. It was named in 1931 to honor Crawford Williamson Long (1815-1878) who is recognized as the first medical doctor to administer anesthesia for surgery. The name was changed in 2009 to Emory University Hospital Midtown.

* * *

Tommy Miller sat in the lobby of the Crawford W. Long Hospital in Atlanta trying to talk his aunt into letting him called Hope. "Aunt Martha, Hope needs to know about her daddy. You know the heart attack he had this time was bad. The doctor said if he had another one, it would probably take him on to glory. She needs to know. Please let me call her or send her a telegram."

Martha Jones sat across from her nephew, a handkerchief clutched tightly in her hand. She lifted her tear stained face and looked at him. "Tommy, Hope is thousands of miles away. There is nothing she can do about it. I don't want her to worry."

He raked his fingers through his dark curly hair in frustration. "Isn't it better for her to know?"

Martha patted his hand. "Tommy, you're like a big brother to Hope. Don't you want to protect her? What good can come from her knowing that her daddy is in such bad shape?"

"Aunt Martha, Hope is not a little girl anymore. She's a grown woman, a nurse in the Army. She needs to know."

"Tommy, please don't call her. I'm asking you this not for my sake but for your Uncle Edward's sake. He doesn't want his little girl worrying about him."

"But Hope is not a little girl anymore. He can't protect her from the bad things in life."

"No, Tommy. If you love and respect me and Edward, you won't call her."

He gave in to his aunt's request, knowing he would probably regret it later. "Alright Aunt Martha, I won't call Hope."

* * *

Sometimes it's good to be so busy that you can't think. It was the only thing that kept Hope from falling apart when she left the ambulance after Sergeant Danny King had died. The touch of Francis' hand on her shoulder while she had talked to the dying man lingered on in her memory. She carried it with her while she went from one task to another. Only when she stopped moving did her brain kick in gear and replay the scene between her and Francis in his tent before the ambulances came.

It was dark when she stumbled into the mess tent. Her stomach protested loudly that it was empty. Hope went to the serving line and without looking told Igor to give her one of everything. She decided it would be better if she didn't look at the food before she ate it. Hawkeye was sitting at a table alone. She had no idea where Francis was, so she sat down next to the surgeon.

"Hawkeye, are you going to eat it or study it?" Hope noticed that he was staring down at the contents of the tray, seeing but not seeing it.

When he lifted his head to respond, she saw a distant look in his eyes. He body was in Korea, but his mind was thousands of miles away. Without thinking, she put her hand on his and said, "Hey, where are you?"

The touch of Hope's hand brought him into focus. He gave her a tired smile and said, "I was visiting the future. Well, at least the future I would like to be in." He put his hand on top of hers and squeezed it. It was his way of telling her that she was in the future he imagined. Her heart did an involuntary flip and she immediately felt guilty about it. She pulled her hand away quickly and concentrated on her food like it was the most important thing in the world.

Once she had satisfied her hunger, she stopped eating. Hawkeye had been watching her intently the whole time she ate. Hope chuckled and said, "Am I that interesting to watch?"

"Hmm…yes," he answered. "But, I could think of much more interesting things to watch you do."

Hope had a pretty good idea what the other things might be and she found the heat rising in her face. If it was dangerous to be alone with Francis, being with Hawkeye Pierce anywhere was doubly so. Why wouldn't the man give up? It was time to leave the mess tent for sure. All of a sudden, she really wanted to find Francis. Hope needed protection. From Hawkeye? No, from herself and her constantly shifting emotions.

"Excuse me, Hawkeye. I've gotta go. Now that I've had something to eat, I'm going to get some sleep."

"Need any company?" It was a typical Hawkeye response and enough to send her nearly running out of the mess tent.

Instead of responding to his question, she squeaked out a "Bye Hawkeye" and left, leaving him to wonder if he had scared her off.

* * *

Yes Hawkeye had scared her and it propelled her straight into the VIP tent where she saw Francis waiting to talk to her, sitting in the chair beside the bed. Before he could say anything she launched herself into his lap and threw her arms around his neck.

Francis was so stunned that it took him a few seconds to say anything. Finally, he asked, "What's wrong?" He really wanted to hold her, but he gently pulled her arms away from his neck and leaned forward to encourage her to get off his lap, hoping she wouldn't get upset with him for doing it.

Hope sat down on the edge of the bed and looked down at her lap. The events of the long day, the death of Danny King and her encounter with Hawkeye, had finally caught up with her. Instead of answering Francis, she started to cry softly. He knew he shouldn't do it, but Francis got up from the chair and sat down next to her on the bed. Hope looked at him. "Hold me Francis, please just hold me."

He scooted closer to her and put his arm around her and she put her head on his shoulder for a few minutes before she said, "Lie down with me and hold me."

"But Hope, we shouldn't…" She put her finger to his lips and pleaded, "Please , do this for me."

Against his better judgment and in direct contradiction to what he had told Hope about them not being alone together, he gave in and pulled her down on the bed with him. She rested her head against his chest. All she wanted at that moment was the safety of his arms.

Francis kissed the top of her head and began rubbing her back. When Hope looked up at him, he saw trust and affection in her eyes. Her lips were slightly open and inviting. He could not resist and he kissed her. She pushed her body closer to him and it had an incendiary effect. He pushed her on her back and rolled on top of her. Her eyes grew wide and he saw both fear and longing. That one look was all it took to bring him back to his senses. He moved off of her, sat up and quickly got out of the bed.

"Hope, I can't…we can't do this. I've got to go."

She sat up and reached out for him. "Francis, please don't leave. I'm sorry. I should have never asked you to lay down with me. That was asking too much. You're right about us being alone together. It's difficult, but what am I supposed to do? I love you." By this time she was standing directly in front of him.

Francis reached out and lifted her face. "I love you so much it hurts. It is tearing me apart not to be able to hold you or kiss you without being afraid I will do something that I'll regret later. Hope, I have to leave you because I love you, not because I don't want you. Remember that sweetheart." He pulled Hope close and she clung to him for a moment before she let him go.

"I understand. I wish there was another way Francis. Good night." The words tumbled out of her mouth and she turned away so she couldn't see him walk out of her tent.

* * *

Once he was gone, Hope fell on the bed sobbing. She was making his life miserable and there was nothing she could do about it. If only her transfer would come through and she wouldn't be there as a constant presence and temptation. She wished she could talk to her dad. He knew her better than anyone and she valued his wisdom and advice. Of course, she loved her mother, but she had always felt closer to him than her.

Hope decided she would ask Klinger to put a call to home through for her. It was not too late, he should still be up. She went to his office and didn't find him there. After searching for a few minutes, she finally located him in the O club having a beer and sitting at the bar with Hawkeye and BJ.

Hawkeye noticed her before Max did. He got off his bar stool, put his arm around her and ushered her to the bar. "What will my lady have to drink?" he said loudly. But then he whispered, "Couldn't sleep? My offer to keep you company still stands. What do you say?"

Hope ducked out from under Hawkeye's arm. "I say, I've gotta see Max."

The chief surgeon looked puzzled. Why would the woman want that hairy, big nosed corporal instead of him?

"I want to call my dad if you must know Hawkeye. He's the only man I want to talk to right now."

She turned away from him towards Max. "Hey Max, I want to call my dad. I hate to interrupt what you're doing, but I really need to talk to him."

Max sat down his bottle of beer on the bar. "No problem. Come on, let's make that call."

Hope followed Max to the office. She paused for a moment to think of the time difference between Korea and home. It would be about sixteen hours, so if it was ten o'clock where she was, it would be one in the afternoon the day before in Georgia. Her dad should be at home. He always took a lunch break around one o'clock. Hope gave Max the phone number and after several minutes the phone was ringing at Reverend Edward Jones' house in Between, Georgia. It rang and rang. After the twelfth ring, Hope realized that no one was at home. An uneasy feeling started to grow inside her. It wasn't like her dad to get out of his routine unless there was an emergency with one of his parishioners. She put the phone's receiver back in the bag and said, "I don't understand, my dad should be home this time of day. Let's try my grandmother's house."

They did and there was no answer there either. Hope felt anxiety flood through her body. Where were her dad and her grandmother? She thought about calling the high school where her mother worked and decided against it. There was no point in upsetting her needlessly. And her cousin Tommy would be in class about this time of day there. There was nothing to do but give up on trying calling anyone else.

Hope sighed, "Thanks Max for your help. I don't know what's worse, knowing or not knowing what's going on with your family while you're thousands of miles away from them."

Klinger patted her shoulder and said, "I know what you mean Hope. Either way, it's tough. Come on back to the O club with me and I'll buy you a drink."

"O.K., thanks."

When they returned to the O club, Max ordered another beer for himself and a scotch for Hope. They sat down at a table and Hawkeye was there in an instant, asking her, "Well, did you reach your dad?"

Hope stared down at her drink, rolling the glass around in her hands. Without looking up, she answered, "No, I didn't. It's unusual for him not be home at that time of day. He may be on call the rest of the day, but his lunch time is sacrosanct. It's just not like him to get out of his routine. Also, I called my grandmother's house and got no answer there either. I can't help but worry." She took a long sip of her drink before sitting the glass back down on the table.

Hawkeye understood what she was feeling. It he had been trying to reach his dad and didn't get an answer, he would be just as worried as Hope was. He laid his arm on the back of her chair and leaned against Hope, telling her, "Try not to worry. There's probably a logical explanation for why he didn't answer the phone."

By this time, Hope had downed the entire glass of scotch and was beginning to feel the buzz. She put her head on his shoulder. "I sure hope so Hawkeye. I sure hope so." Hope closed her eyes. Hawkeye knew how liquor made her sleepy. There was no point in trying to make her stay awake. Nothing would do but to carry her to the VIP tent and deposit her on the bed.

When he got there, he laid her on the bed and started to leave. He changed his mind. Why couldn't he lie down beside her for a few minutes? She wouldn't know the difference. It wasn't like he would try anything with her in that condition. Hawkeye settled in beside Hope. He threw his arm over her and closed his eyes. Her slow, steady breathing was hypnotic and he soon fell asleep.

When the dream came to Hope, it was vivid and real as it could possibly be-

_Edward Jones sat down on the foot of Hope's bed. Hope sat up and called out, "Daddy, what are you doing here? He smiled at her and said, "Hope have faith. Listen to your heart and trust that everything will work out. Have faith."_

"_But Daddy, it's hard. So very hard. I don't think I can hold on."_

"_Yes you can honey. I know you can. Have faith." He got up from the bed and he slowly walked away, eventually disappearing from sight._

Hope cried out, "Daddy, don't go! I need you!" When she tried to sit up, something weighed her down and she couldn't move. She looked down and saw a man's arm. Her mind was hazy with sleep and her heart raced. She realized it wasn't Francis' arm. It was Hawkeye. She turned and saw him looking at her with concern.

"Hawkeye, why did you…how did you…how did I get here? And how about moving your arm so I can sit up? Then answer my question."

He reluctantly moved his arm away and sat up at the same she did. "You had a scotch, you fell asleep. You know the story Hope. You just cannot hold your liquor. I carried you to the VIP tent because there was no way you would have been able to get here on your own power. "

"I see and you felt that I couldn't sleep alone, either. You must think I'm pretty helpless."

"You know how restless you are when you sleep."

She brushed the hair out of her eyes in frustration. "Yeah I know, but I've managed to sleep alone without falling off the bed since I've been using the VIP tent as my quarters. You're excuse is pretty thin." At that moment all she could think of what would have happened if Francis had come back in the tent and saw Hawkeye there.

He wasn't ready to give up on staying with her. "Hope, you had a bad dream. You don't want to be alone now, do you?"

Honestly, she didn't want to be alone; but she wasn't going to tell him that. "Look Hawkeye, the bad dream is over. I'm a big girl. I'll be alright. Please… just… go." She got off the bed and stood up, pointing toward the door of the tent.

He got off the bed and stood facing her. "You're sure you're alright?"

"Yes Hawkeye." She walked away from him and opened the door. "Good night." Other than physically pushing him out of the tent or yelling, she had done everything she could think of to get him to leave.

He gave in and walked out of her tent toward the Swamp. Hope stood in the doorway watching him to make sure he was gone. Instead of lying back down on the bed, she sat in the chair thinking about what had happened that night. The man she wanted in her bed ran away from her and she almost couldn't get rid of the one she didn't want to be there.

* * *

When Hawkeye walked in the Swamp, BJ sat up in his bed. "Hey Hawk, where did you go after you left the O club carrying Hope?"

"I took her to the VIP tent and stayed with her a while to make sure she was alright, "Hawkeye answered as he sat on the edge of his bed and pulled his boots off.

"That's all?" BJ knew his friend and didn't quite believe him. "You still want her, don't you? Why don't you just accept the fact that Hope is not in love with you and move on? If you don't stop, I think you're going to hurt her even more. Hasn't she been through enough?"

From the other side of the Swamp came Charles' sleepy two cents worth. "Pierce, Lieutenant Jones isn't the only one who might get hurt. Remember that our gentle chaplain could punch your lights out if provoked."

BJ chuckled, "Yeah, Charles has a point. Mulcahy could flatten you. Hawkeye you can throw a punch that lands in the right spot sometimes, but the priest knows how to box and you don't."

"I know," Hawkeye sighed.

"But you're not going to give up, are you?"

"No BJ, not yet."

"My god Hawk, you're crazier than I thought." BJ lay back down on his bed and turned away from his friend.

"Yes, I suppose I am," Hawkeye admitted. He wasn't ready to give up on winning Hope's affections. He was sure that she was the one he'd been waiting for his whole life. He dismissed any second thoughts that crept into his head and went to sleep.

* * *

Edward Jones opened his eyes. For a moment he wondered where he was and why there was a needle in his arm and an IV bottle hanging above his head. He looked about the room and remembered he was in the hospital. Another heart attack had brought him there; a pretty bad one according to his doctor. He tried to sit up but someone's hands were on his arm. He looked up into the face of his wife, Martha.

"Don't try to sit up, sweetheart. Take it easy."

"Martha, I just want to call my daughter to make sure she's alright."

"Which daughter? Faith is teaching school and Charity is in class right now."

"Hope, I want to call Hope," he let out a sigh of exasperation. "I see Faith and Charity all the time. I know they're o.k. It's Hope, I'm worried about. She's thousands of miles away. I just want to hear her voice!"

Martha Jones patted her husband's arm. "Edward, you need to take it easy. Don't go getting upset. You can call her later."

"I want to speak to my daughter! What's the harm in that?" His face had started to turn red and this alarmed Martha so much that she started to cry.

"Please Ed, please calm down. You didn't want anyone to call her when you were brought to the hospital. Why did you change your mind?"

"I have the feeling she really needs to talk to me."

"Look, you told me you didn't want her to worry about you and that's why you wouldn't let me or Tommy call her. She's in Korea. There's nothing she can do."

Edward had calmed down and his face was no longer red. "It's not what she can do for me Martha. It's what I can do for her that I'm concerned about."

"Would you please wait a day or two, that's all I ask?"

As much as he felt Hope needed him, he was more worried about upsetting his wife. "Alright, I'll wait to call Hope."

Martha bent down and kissed her husband's forehead. "I love you. Everything will be alright. You'll see. Remember what you tell everyone else?"

"What's that?"

"Have faith."

He smiled at her. "You're right. This minister needs to take his own advice."

"Yes Reverend Jones, you certainly do."

Edward had faith, but he was still worried about Hope and would feel better once he could hear her voice.

**Hawkeye is bound and determined to win Hope back. It may come to blows (literally) if Francis becomes very upset with the chief surgeon's attempts to woo Hope!**

**Reverend Jones has already tried to call Hope when she burned the dress and wasn't able to talk to her. He must have a strong connection to his daughter because he seems to know when something is troubling her.**

**Thanks for reading the story! I appreciate all the support I have received since starting Hope's Calling. Please review if you feel inclined to do so.**


	54. Chapter 54 The War Within

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 54- THE WAR WITHIN**

**Disclaimer- **The only original characters to be found in this chapter are Hope and Colonel Strickland. It goes without saying that Major Winchester, Hawkeye and the other M*A*S*H are not my own.

**Note-** Fort McPherson (1885-2009) was a U.S. Army base situated on the south side of Atlanta. General Hospital No. 6 was housed on the base and was converted to a clinic and administrative offices in 1977.

* * *

The following morning, Hope sat on an empty bed in Post-Op while Major Winchester examined her hand. During his previous examinations Hope made a point not to look at it. She was a nurse; she knew what burns looked like. The burn went down the side of her left hand from the tip of her little finger to just past her wrist. There would be a scar, visible for everyone to see. It would serve as a constant reminder of what she would forever call the "day of the burning dress".

This time, however, Hope did look because she was so tired of her hand looking like she was trying to conceal a baseball under the bandages. She was past ready for the bandage to come off for good. One glance of the hand showed a large, wide reddish-pink, puckered line of skin. It felt so stiff that she was afraid that if she flexed it the skin would crack open.

"Major, please tell me that my hand does not needed to be covered up anymore. It does not inspire confidence in patients when they see their nurse's hand bandaged and looking like a yeti's paw. "

Winchester chuckled at Hope's comment. "I think you can do without the bandage now, Lieutenant. However, the sight of that scar is liable to prompt many questions from people. "

Hope sighed, "I know. I'll just tell them that I learned not to play with matches the hard way." She smiled and added, "Besides, a scar is proof I'm still alive. As you told me, it could have been much worse."

He nodded in agreement. "Yes, indeed. I will inform Major Houlihan that you are able to resume your all your regular duties."

"Oh good, she'll be glad to hear that. I feel like I've been as useful as a three wheeled cart lately."

Winchester smiled. "It's good to see your sense of humor is intact. Now that the bandage is off and your hand is on the mend, how about a celebratory drink at the Officer's club this evening?" He paused and then added, "I am asking you as a friend."

"Of course. Thank you, I would like that a lot. I look forward to it."

Hope stood up and headed out of Post-Op and back to the VIP tent to gather up her things. It was time to move back to the nurses' tent. As she was going out, Hawkeye was coming in and noticed that she was no longer wearing a bandage on her left hand. The scar was quite visible and he wondered if she was bothered by its appearance.

"Hope, wait. I want to talk to you." He reached out to take her left hand. "Please let me see. I just want to look."

She hesitated and then held out her hand. Hawkeye took it and a wave of heat shot up her arm. She almost snatched her hand away, but she forced herself to let him hold it. He looked at it first in a professional and detached manner as if she were just any other patient with a burned hand. Then he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed lightly. When he let go, he told her, "I'm so thankful that you're o.k. When I look at your hand and think of what might have happened, it makes my heart shudder." All he wanted to do at that moment was take her in his arms and hold her. He was that thankful that she was alive and in her right mind.

Hope wondered why this man's touch still stirred something within her. Was it there some feeling for Hawkeye there? Or could it be a sign of her sexual frustration or a desire for the physical comfort of his touch? The man she desired was not free, but the one she didn't desire was. It made no sense to her.

"Hawkeye, I've got to move my stuff back to the nurses' tent. I'd better go."

"Could you use some help?"

Hope started to tell him "no", but then she thought, "why not? He's just helping me move my things. That's all."

"Yes, thanks Hawkeye."

As they walked towards the VIP tent, Hawkeye reached out and lightly touched her back. He was pleased that Hope didn't pull away.

When they reached the tent Hawkeye picked up her footlocker and she got her pillow and the quilt her grandmother had sent to her. Once her things were in the nurses' tent, Hope threw her pillow and quilt on her bunk and walked outside. He hovered near Hope and it was obvious he intended to stay with her.

Major Houlihan approached them. "Lieutenant, Major Winchester tells me he's released you to assume all your duties. I want you to do an inventory of the supply room. Get someone to help you." She handed Hope a clipboard and pen.

"Yes ma'am."

Hawkeye grinned and raised his hand like an eager kid wanting to answer the teacher's question and said, "Me, I volunteer."

Hawkeye was the last person in camp she would have picked to assist her. He'd put her on the spot in front of the Head Nurse so Hope just said, "O.K."

The major walked away shaking her head. She knew Hawkeye all too well. He could always find a way to be alone with a woman when he wanted to.

Once they were in the supply room, Hope leaned against one of the shelves with the clipboard in hand. Nothing would do but for Hawkeye to start at the shelf just above her head. He leaned against her as he reached to take the first box down. Her heart started racing and she could hear it pounding in her ears.

As he pulled box down, it slipped out of his hands and hit Hope squarely on the head. She yelped and dropped the clipboard at the same time. She grabbed her forehead. "Ow, Hawkeye! Are you trying to kill me? I think I been banged up enough since I came to Korea!"

"I'm sorry Hope. I didn't do it on purpose. Sit down and let me look at your head." He had her sit down on a crate while he looked at her head. She felt his nose touch her forehead and wondered why in the world he had to look so closely. He felt her scalp, looking for any bumps and then he ran his hand over her forehead. The next she knew, his lips were on hers. Instead of backing away, she yielded to his kiss. Hawkeye pulled her up from the crate and wrapped his arms around her while he continued kissing her.

Hope's conscience began sending out alarm signals but her body had a mind of its own. It felt good to be in his arms. She knew Hawkeye had no qualms about kissing her or holding her. There was no hesitation or second guessing in what he was doing.

When Hope felt his hands snake under her shirt and t-shirt to touch her skin, she gasped. At that moment it felt so good to be touched and caressed that any thought of how she felt about Francis went right out of her head. Hawkeye ran his fingertips up and down her back causing her to shiver and press her body even closer to him; her mind clouded over by pure unadulterated lust. He could have taken her over to mattresses kept in the supply room and she would let him do whatever he wanted.

The sound of approaching footsteps snapped her back to her senses. Right before the door to the supply room was opened Hope pulled away from Hawkeye and with shaking hands picked up the clipboard and pen that she'd dropped. When Francis walked in, she clutched the clipboard to her chest holding it with a death grip in her left hand.

The first thing he noticed wasn't Hawkeye standing there beside Hope, it was her hand no longer covered by a thick layer of gauze bandages. The scar was quite noticeable and it took him a few seconds to realize that he was staring at her hand.

He looked away from her hand and at her face. It was flushed and her eyes showed something like fear or surprise. It was almost like he'd caught her doing something wrong. It made him forget the reason why he had come to the supply room.

Hope's mouth felt like cotton and she wondered if she would be able to speak. She swallowed, willed her tongue to unglue itself from the roof of her mouth and said, "Hello Francis, what brings you here?"

He struggled to remember what he had come to pick up. "I…uh…came to get…some thermometers. They need them in Post-Op. "

Francis looked at her and she was sure he wanted to know why she and Hawkeye were in the supply room together. Hope answered his unspoken question. "Major Houlihan wanted me to do inventory and Hawkeye volunteered to help." She turned to look at the surgeon and rolled her eyes. " We might finish today if he doesn't drop another box on my head."

"My goodness. Are you alright?" Francis sounded genuinely concerned. Now he really didn't want to leave Hope in the supply room with Hawkeye. He suspected there was more going on than just inventory.

Hawkeye let out an exasperated sigh," Hope, I didn't drop the box on you on purpose." He was mentally willing the priest to leave. He wanted to be alone with her. She seemed to be responding to his advances and he wondered if she might still have feelings for him.

Francis finally walked over to the shelf where the thermometers were kept, took down the box and got out the quantity he needed. He gave Hope a questioning look and walked out of the supply room without saying anything else to her or Hawkeye.

Hope cleared her throat and said, "Now let's pick up where we left off."

He pulled her to him and was about to kiss her when she said, "I mean with inventory. What was in that box that you dropped on me?"

His shoulders drooped in disappointment and he let go of her. This was not going like he planned. "Oh, it's penicillin," he mumbled. If she had decided that they were really there to take inventory, then he might as well help her get it done as fast as possible.

* * *

After several unsuccessful attempts, Klinger finally got through to Colonel Strickland at Fort McPherson's General Hospital. He stuck his head inside Colonel Potter's office and said, "Colonel, I have Colonel Strickland on the phone for you."

Colonel Potter picked up his phone. "Hello Bob, how are you?"

"Fine Sherman, why are you calling me all the way from Korea?"

Potter chuckled and said, "You were never one to beat around the bush, were you? Look, I've got a nurse requesting a transfer and none of the other MASH units, the 121st Evac Hospital or even Tokyo General has a spot for her right now. Well, to tell you the truth, she's a good nurse but I think she's not really suited to work in a combat zone." The CO of the 4077th was certainly not going to tell Colonel Strickland that it the transfer was for personal or more accurately, personnel reasons.

"Yes, there will be slot open for another nurse in a couple of weeks. We can take her. What's her name?"

"Lieutenant Hope Jones. I'll get the paperwork going on my end. Thanks Bob."

"You're welcome, Sherman. Take care."

"You too, Bob."

Colonel Potter hung up the phone and called out for Klinger to come in his office. "Corporal, tell Lieutenant Jones that she's got her transfer and that I want to talk to her."

"Alright sir, I sure hate to see her go."

"Well I know you're not the only one. But I think it's time for the ongoing soap opera to be over."

Potter didn't name names, but Max knew exactly who he was talking about.

* * *

When Klinger finally found Hope, she and Hawkeye were nearly finished with inventory. "Hope, Colonel Potter wants to see you. You got your transfer."

Hawkeye felt his heart plummet. The nurse had told him she'd put in for the transfer, but he was hoping she would change her mind. Just when he thought there might really be a chance to win her back, she was really leaving the 4077th.

"O.K. Max, please let Colonel Potter know that I'll be in his office in a few minutes."

"Sure thing."

After the corporal left, Hawkeye ran his hand through his hair and sighed, "So you're really leaving. I kept hoping you'd change your mind."

"Yes Hawkeye, I'm really leaving. Like I told you before, I believe it's best for everyone this way. Look, I'm going to Colonel Potter's office. You can go with me if you want to."

"O.k., let's go. As far I'm concerned you can tell Margaret that we've finished taking inventory. I couldn't concentrate now if my life depended on it."

When Hope and Hawkeye got to the CO's office, Francis was already there. She figured Max must have told him about the transfer coming through. She sat in the empty chair directly opposite the colonel's desk with Hawkeye sitting on one side of her and Francis on the other.

"Lieutenant, I'm sure Corporal Klinger has told you that you're being transferred."

"Yes sir, but he didn't say where."

"You're being sent to the base hospital at Fort McPherson."

Hope's eyes lit up and she smiled.

"I take it you know where Fort McPherson is."

"Yes sir, I do. It's on the south side of Atlanta and about 50 or 60 miles from my home. Don't telI the Army that or I'd get sent to Timbuktu. I don't know what to say, but thank you. "

Potter couldn't help notice the crestfallen expressions on both Hawkeye's and Francis' faces. He knew neither man really wanted her to go, but the idea of her being sent across the ocean must have really upset them. It was probably for the best for all parties concerned that she was being sent stateside even if the Chief Surgeon and the priest would never admit it.

"That's all Lieutenant. Klinger will make travel arrangements for you. Of course, we'll want to give you a farewell soiree. I'm sure I have volunteers to take care of that." Both Hawkeye and Francis raised their hands. Colonel Potter smiled. "Good, you two can work on it together." He knew it would be a miracle if the two of them could cooperate on anything concerning Hope Jones without coming to blows.

* * *

Francis spent the rest of the afternoon on auto pilot. He visited patients in Post-Op and heard confessions, but he wasn't fully there. All he could think about was the fact that Hope was leaving. The thought of not seeing her was almost more than he could bear. It seemed worse than the fact that he had to wait to marry her. "Oh Lord, how long will I have to wait to see her face again after she leaves here?" he prayed silently. If he could talk to her about their plans for the future, maybe it would help to keep at bay the despair that was starting to creep into his heart. He left Post-Op to find her.

He didn't have to go very far. Hope was standing in front of the bulletin board looking at the duty roster that Major Houlihan had posted that morning. She saw that the next thing she was due for was the night shift in Post-Op and wondered which doctor would be working with her. After what had happened in the supply room, she prayed it wouldn't be Hawkeye.

"Hope, are you going to be on duty any time soon?" She turned to see Francis standing behind her. When she looked into his bright blue eyes, she suddenly felt very guilty that she had let Hawkeye kiss and hold her in the supply room. Here stood the man that loved her and wanted to marry her and she had indulged in a moment's infidelity with the doctor. Nothing more than kissing had happened but what she thought about doing in the supply room was much more than that. What would she do when she was stateside?

"No Francis, not until late tonight. Did you want something?'

"Yes, I want to talk to you about the future. About us. We don't have much time now that you're being transferred. "

The reality that she was leaving Korea hit her. Hope hadn't given much thought as to their future plans. Since Colonel Potter had told her where she was going, she had only thought about what it would mean to be stationed so close to home. She would be near her family, especially her dad.

"Yes, I suppose we should talk. Where do you want to go?"

His answer was almost instant. He knew better than to go to his tent with her. "The mess tent. No one is there right now ."

"O.K." Hope reached out to take his hand and pulled back. She crossed her arms and held them tightly against her body as they walked to the mess tent. Holding back and keeping things inside was getting more difficult by the minute. What she wanted at that moment and what she could have were at war within her.

They sat down next to each other. Hope rested her left hand on the table and Francis covered it with his hand for a moment before he ran his fingers up and down the scar. "Does it hurt for me to touch your hand there? '" He noticed that she winced and he pulled his fingers away.

She looked at him and reached for his hand. "A little bit, but don't stop. I need your touch. It's as healing as any medicine." He picked up her hand and kissed it. She leaned against him and sighed. When he touched her it was different than when Hawkeye did. She felt both love and desire for Francis. If she could only hold on to that difference and know it would be worth the wait.

"Hope, when we're both together again at home, the first thing that I have to do is resign from the priesthood. Then I'll be free to marry you. Where do you want to marry?"

"What do you mean exactly? " Hope just wanted to be married; she hadn't given any thought to the details.

"In which church? Which faith tradition?"

That question made Hope think about how important his Catholic faith was to him. He would leave the priesthood for her, but she realized that she would never ask him to give up his faith. "In the Catholic Church," was her answer.

Francis was surprised. "Are you sure? I'm not asking you to convert."

"I know Francis. I love you and I want to do this for you. When I get to Fort MacPherson, I'll seek out the Catholic chaplain and ask him for instruction in the faith. That way, when you come home, I'll be ready to marry you in the Church."

He kissed her cheek and whispered, "Thank you."

"Francis, it's my turn to ask a question. Where do you want to live?"

He smiled and said, "Wherever you are."

She gave him a playful smack on the arm. "You know what I mean. Which part of the country?'

"I don't want to live in the country. I'm a city boy," he teased.

She laughed. "Francis Mulcahy, you're impossible! Where in the United States of America do you want to live?"

"It will be home wherever you are my love." He brushed her lips with a soft kiss and gently pulled back, looking at her intently.

Hope closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against his. This moment was precious. Francis loved her enough to give up the life he had committed himself to. He wanted a future with her. Surely that was worth more than any kisses, caresses or anything else Hawkeye could give her. She had to make her body obey her heart and conscience. She owed the man she was going to marry nothing less.

* * *

As Hawkeye passed by the mess tent on his way to the Swamp to try and take a nap, he saw Hope with Father Mulcahy; their foreheads touching. Was this the same woman that had so readily responded to his kisses in the supply room? Did Mulcahy have any idea what they'd been up to? He lay down on his bed trying to push the questions out of his mind. He had the night shift in Post-Op and it would be hard to stay awake all night if he didn't get some rest.

He had just drifted off to sleep when Major Winchester entered the Swamp humming loudly. Hawkeye launched a boot in his direction and yelled, "Shut up Charles! Can't you see I was sleeping?"

"Oh that's was what you were doing. I thought you were loitering in a horizontal position with your eyes closed," the Bostonian answered with a smirk on his face.

Hawkeye sat up and rubbed his sleepy face. "Why the hell are you in such a good mood?"

"I'm looking forward to an evening of conversation and companionship with Lieutenant Jones."

"You what!" Hawkeye flew off the bed and was in Winchester's face. The major backed away from him when he saw the fury in the chief surgeon's eyes.

"Pierce, let me explain."

"You damn well better."

"I merely asked the young woman to accompany me to the Officer's Club this evening for a drink to celebrate the bandages coming off her hand. It's not a date, you jealous idiot. Can't a man and woman merely be friends or is that something a Neanderthal like you can understand? Besides, the lieutenant is engaged to someone else, so why are you so interested in whether or not my being with her tonight can be construed as a date?"

Hawkeye scowled at Winchester but said nothing.

"Ah, I see now. If you can't have her, you don't want anyone else to either. Why don't you lie back down like a good little boy and take a nap? Maybe you won't be so cranky when you wake up," Winchester said in a soothing , yet very insincere tone of voice. He then beat a hasty retreat from the Swamp hearing Hawkeye's other boot slam against the door.

**What's going on with Hope? She let Hawkeye kiss her without putting up a fight and then she's very much interested in the future with Francis.**

**Now she's got her transfer, will she regret leaving the 4077****th**** even though it means she be will be stationed close to home?**

**Thanks for reading! Please review.**


	55. Chapter 55 The Fight

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER**** 55- THE FIGHT**

**Disclaimer- **The M*A*S*H characters are not mine. However, Hope Jones is my very own.

* * *

"I wonder if the food is any better at Fort McPherson," Hope mused as she scooped up a forkful of something that resembled a cross between mashed potatoes and wallpaper paste and waved it in the air. Closing her eyes, she popped the food in her mouth and immediately grabbed her coffee to wash it down. When she opened her eyes, Francis and Major Winchester were grinning at her.

"Hey you two, what's so funny?"

"It's just that I've never seen your lovely face contorted like that," chuckled the major.

"Glad I could be a source of amusement. This food certainly isn't." She flung her fork down and it made a clattering sound as it hit the tray.

"Come now Hope, it can't be that bad," teased Francis.

She pointed at his food and said, "If it's not so bad, why don't I see any mashed potatoes on your tray?"

"It's because he knows better," Winchester offered. "Father Mulcahy has been here a lot longer than you."

A thought passed through Hope's mind that made her smile instantly. With a gleam in her eye she said, "Oh well, if the food in the mess hall at Fort McPherson is a wash, I'm sure a weekend pass home will more than make up for it. My grandmother's fried chicken will sustain me along with my mother's cakes, pies and…"

Still smiling, the major held up his hand and said, "Say no more Lieutenant. It's cruel to rub in your future good fortune."

"Yep, you're right." The reality that she was leaving the 4077th sunk in a little deeper and the smile vanished from her face. Her appetite had disappeared as well and she pushed her tray aside. Tears welled in her eyes as she struggled to maintain her composure. Hope stood up with tray in hand and said, "Please excuse me for a moment."

She walked over to the trash barrel and dumped the contents of the tray in to it. Once she was rid of the tray, Hope walked outside. Her back was turned to Francis and Major Winchester so they couldn't see her face. She looked at the ground her eyes and let the tears rolled down slowly and silently.

A light touch to her face made her jump backwards. Hope looked up to see Hawkeye standing there.

"Hope, what's wrong?"

She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand and then answered, "I was joking around with Francis and Major Winchester telling them I hoped the food was better at Fort McPherson than it is here. Then I said if it wasn't it wouldn't matter because I could get a weekend pass and go home and eat my mother and grandmother's cooking. Then it hit me that I'm really leaving here."

"Yes, you're really leaving. Having second thoughts?" Hawkeye brushed the hair out of her eyes and stroked her cheek with his thumb.

Seeing Hawkeye touching Hope's face was the straw that broke the camel's back for Francis Mulcahy. "Alright, that tears it!" he whispered angrily. Before Winchester could do anything to stop him, the priest was out of the mess tent and in Hawkeye's face even though the surgeon was several inches taller.

"It's impossible for you to leave Hope alone, isn't it?" His hands were at his side but they were balled up into fists.

Hawkeye backed away and said, "Hold on a minute. She was upset and I was just trying to comfort her. That's all."

"Yes, like you did the other day in the O club? Or possibly the supply room this morning?" Francis countered.

"Alright Mulcahy, just come out and say it. You don't like me touching Hope. Well, let me tell you; I not only touched her this morning, I kissed her as well! And what's more, she didn't stop me."

Francis looked at Hope for confirmation or denial of what Hawkeye had just told him. The only response from her was when she hung her head down. It was as close to an admission of guilt as she was going to make.

He turned back to Hawkeye, hurt with Hope and even more upset with him. "You took advantage of her…her…passionate nature." The last two words had been whispered.

"Her what? Come on, spit it out!" Hawkeye was now as angry as Francis.

By this time, everyone in the mess tent was watching the drama unfold. BJ, who had been sitting across from Colonel Potter, got up and walked to the entrance of the mess tent. The colonel followed him. "Hunnicutt, it looks like we might a have fight brewing. Do you want to head 'em off at the pass before one of 'em throws a punch?"

BJ shook his head and answered, "I don't know Colonel. If I get between those two, I might be the one who gets punched."

Hope heard what Francis had whispered and she was beyond being embarrassed; she was mortified. Before anyone else could say anything, she stood between the two men. She pointed at Hawkeye and then at Francis. "Alright you two, that's enough! I don't care what you do now; just get out of my sight." Both men looked at her, mouths agape. Hope raked her fingers through her hair in frustration and shouted, "Oh don't bother going anywhere! I'm going to the O club. I need a drink!" Major Winchester was already standing next to her offering her his arm before she finished the last sentence. She took it and they walked away from the mess tent.

* * *

Once they were in the O club, Major Winchester led Hope over to a table in the far back corner. "What will you have to drink, Lieutenant?"

She sighed and answered, "I would love some scotch, but I'm on duty in Post-Op later tonight so I guess I should stick to ginger ale."

When the major returned with their drinks, Hope asked him, "Which one of you doctors is on call for the night shift in Post-Op?"

Winchester took a fortifying sip of cognac before he spoke because he knew she wouldn't like the answer. "Pierce."

Hope rolled her eyes. "Oh just peachy! And I hope no patient has need of a priest tonight. Hawkeye and Francis together in Post-Op is something I don't want to contemplate."

"I'm sure all will be well. I think Pierce and Father Mulcahy can be counted on to behave in a professional manner in front of patients," the major reassured her.

"Lord, I hope so. I thought they were going to come to blows in front of the mess tent." As upset and embarrassed as she felt; Hope saw the humor in the situation and started laughing. "I just got the mental picture of Hawkeye and Francis sitting in the principal's office like two boys who have been fighting on the playground. In this case Colonel Potter is the principal."

"I would love to be a fly on the wall at that meeting," the major quipped.

"Me,too."

* * *

Colonel Potter sat across from Hawkeye and Francis in his office and exploded, "You two yahoos are unbelievable! I'm sure you embarrassed Lieutenant Jones big time. No wonder she went off with Winchester to the O club."

Hawkeye and Francis both started to speak, but the colonel cut them off. "Don't go pointing fingers at each other. I don't care who started it. I don't want to see it happen again. Do you think you can do that? She's not going to be here much longer anyway so just leave her alone. Comprendez-vous?"

Both men mumbled a "yes, Colonel".

"Good, I won't tell you to shake hands or kiss and makeup. But I do want you to start working on that farewell party for Lieutenant Jones."

Hawkeye and Francis looked at each other warily.

For emphasis Colonel Potter added, "That's an order gentlemen."

"Yes sir," they answered in chorus.

"Good, now you two go and try to be nice to each other." Hawkeye and Francis walked out of Potter's office with their heads down, not speaking to each other.

Once Pierce and Mulcahy were gone, Colonel Potter went to his liquor cabinet and poured a large glass of whiskey. He sat back down at his desk and sighed, "It's gonna be a long two weeks before Lieutenant Jones is gone. God help us!"

* * *

Although it would be impossible to forget the scene between Hawkeye and Francis, spending the evening with Major Winchester went a long way in helping take some of the sting out of the embarrassment Hope felt having two men fighting over her in front of the whole camp. They talked about their families, homes and interests for a while.

When they tired of conversing, the major asked Hope to dance which she gladly accepted. It was enjoyable to dance with a man who had no agenda other than companionship. All was well until he whispered, "I'm glad your back is to the door."

"Why?"

"Because Pierce and Mulcahy have just walked in. I take it from what you said to them earlier that you'd rather not see them."

"Yes, you're right. I will have to see Hawkeye soon enough in Post-Op. Let's just keep dancing like they're not here." She looked down at her feet to see how far apart they were from each other. Then she looked back up at the major and grinned. "Everything should be o.k. We're dancing like brother and sister. "

He thought about his sister, Honoria. Although she and Hope looked nothing alike, it did feel like he was dancing with his sister. "Yes, we are. Nothing to worry about."

When the song finished, Hope and Winchester returned to their table and he asked her, "I am going to get another cognac. Do you want something else?"

"Yes, another ginger ale please."

Hawkeye and Francis were sitting side by side at the bar when the major went to give his order. He nodded at the two men and said, "Gentlemen." He received glares from the chief surgeon and the priest in response to his greeting. With drinks in hand he returned to Hope.

She glanced toward the bar and said, "Well I see the Bobbsey twins are here. Did they say anything to you?"

"No. However, if looks could kill I would most certainly be dead by now," Winchester mused.

"Colonel Potter must have chewed them out royally but I don't know why they would be mad at you."

"It could be the simple fact that I'm with you and they're not."

Hope nodded in agreement. "I guess so."

At the bar Hawkeye munched mindlessly on pretzels, while Francis stared down at his bottle of beer. The surgeon spoke first. "Well, about a party for Hope…ah…uh…" He let the sentence trail off without finishing it. He simply wasn't ready to cooperate with Mulcahy on anything.

Francis looked at him and said, "Yes, about the party. What should we do?"

Hawkeye shrugged, popped another pretzel in his mouth and chewed it slowly; much to the priest's annoyance.

Francis slammed his bottle of beer down on the bar causing some of it to splash on Hawkeye's shirt. "Doggone it Hawkeye! Are you gonna answer me or not?" He asked the question so loudly that the entire O club could hear it. Hope stood up and was ready to leap across the room to stop the two from fighting.

There was fire in Hawkeye's eyes. He drew back a fist and it connected with Mulcahy's jaw sending the priest tumbling backwards off the bar stool. He landed so hard on the floor that it knocked the breath out of him , which scared Hawkeye. The surgeon quickly knelt down beside the priest. "Father, are you alright?"

Francis sat up and rubbed his jaw. Hawkeye offered him a hand up. Once Francis was standing he started to answer Hawkeye with a raised fist when someone behind him grabbed it. He turned around to see Hope standing there, red faced and trembling.

"That's enough! Two weeks is too long to wait to be away from here! From both of you!" She stormed out of the O club.

Hawkeye and Francis started to follow her, but Major Winchester stopped them. "If you are prudent men, you'll stay away from Lieutenant Jones for a while. I do not believe she is in a forgiving mood at the moment."

* * *

Hope stood in the middle of the compound, no longer red faced but still trembling. Colonel Potter was on his way to the O club when he saw her. "Lieutenant, what's the matter? Have Pierce and Mulcahy been at it again?"

She looked down at the ground and then up at him. The look in her green eyes was a mixture of sadness and anger. "Yes sir, they have. This time Hawkeye hit Francis in the jaw and knocked him off his barstool on to the floor of the O club. When Francis got back up, he started to hit Hawkeye, but I stopped him. I'm sorry to be the cause of so much trouble."

Potter patted her shoulder and said, "You're not the cause of the trouble. It's those two acting like lovesick teenage boys."

"Sir, please understand me when I say that I can't wait to get out of here. Once I'm gone, maybe things will get back to what passes for normal between Hawkeye and Francis."

"I certainly understand Lieutenant. I just hope those two can settle their differences before you leave."

"Yes sir, me, too."

Hope walked away with the intention of going to Post-Op. Colonel Potter headed toward the O club. An ambulance pulled up in the compound and they both made a U turn and ran to it. There was no time to think about Hawkeye and Francis fighting over her and it seemed so inconsequential when she saw young men hovering between life and death.

**The fight that was brewing between Hawkeye and Francis finally happened. Francis knows that Hope let Hawkeye kiss her. Apologies need to be made before it's too late.**

**Thanks for reading! More to come.**


	56. Chapter 56 I Have to Go

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 56- I HAVE TO GO, YOU HAVE TO STAY**

**Disclaimer- **Only Hope and her family are my characters. As to the other ones, well you know that they don't belong to me.

* * *

It was all her fault. At least in Hope's mind it was. She felt responsible for the fight between Hawkeye and Francis. It should have never happened. She should have stayed away from the surgeon. She loved Francis and promised to marry him. It didn't matter if he felt that he couldn't demonstrate his affection for her by holding and kissing her as long as they were both at the 4077th, she shouldn't have kissed Hawkeye. She craved his Francis' touch and had let Hawkeye serve as a substitute for him. It wasn't right to use Hawkeye that way.

Hope had deferred these thoughts until the OR session was over. Then they came flooding in and she had to deal with them. All she wanted to do was first apologize to Francis for kissing Hawkeye. Then she would make sure to stay away from the Chief Surgeon as much as possible until it was time to leave the unit. And yes, she owed him an apology as well for letting him think that there was still something between them.

Once she had taken off her surgical gown and cap, she threw them in the laundry bin and walked outside for a breath of fresh air before going over to Post-Op to relieve the nurse who had to work extra hours because Hope was in surgery. Hope made up her mind to seek out Francis the next morning and make things right between them. Hawkeye was a second priority to her.

Her second priority walked up behind her. She turned to see Hawkeye there with look of expectancy on his face. "Hope, where are you headed now?"

"To Post-Op. I'm on duty tonight. I should have been there several hours ago, but I wound up assisting Colonel Potter in the OR."

"I'm on call for Post-Op tonight. Can I talk to you when we are there?"

"It depends on what you want to talk about. If it's medical, that's fine. If it's personal, I don't think Post-Op is the appropriate place for that." It was Hope's way of putting him off until she could talk to Francis first.

Hawkeye was disappointed, but he didn't challenge her on it. He would try to talk to here when they were off duty in the morning.

* * *

A long, very quiet night passed in Post-Op. Only a handful of words, all relating to patients, passed between Hawkeye and Hope. What was lacking in speech, he made up for in long lingering looks in her direction. Even when her back was to him, he still looked at her. She felt it and would occasionally get up with the pretense of checking on a patient to get away from him.

As soon as her shift was over, Hope left Post-Op in such haste that Hawkeye had a hard time catching up with her. "Hope wait! I want to talk to you. Please stop."

Hope turned around and said loudly, "Later, Hawkeye!" Then she made a beeline for Francis' tent as fast as possible. Hawkeye would just have to wait. Seeing Francis was first on her agenda.

When she knocked on the door to his tent, she was greeted with a sleepy, "Who is it?" He sounded barely awake.

"Francis, it's me. Please let me in."

He shuffled to the door and opened it. Two sleepy people stood there facing each other. He had just awakened and she had been up all night. She was ready to collapse on her bunk, but it was very important that she apologize to him first.

"Francis, can we sit down and talk? What I have to say to you can't wait."

"Alright Hope, come and sit down." She sat in a chair and he sat on the edge of his bed.

Hope rubbed her face and pushed her hair out of her eyes. Then she looked at him, took a deep breath and said, "Do you believe me when I tell you I love you?"

Several seconds passed in silence before he finally said, "I want to believe you."

"Francis, I made a mistake by letting my body overrule my heart. I should have never let Hawkeye touch me or kiss me. I was wrong to let it happen. Please forgive me." She sighed and sat there nervously, with her hands trembling in her lap. Now the words had been spoken. It was up to him to respond.

He reached out, took her hands and brushed them with a gentle kiss. Instantly the trembling stopped. He had answered her before he said a word. "Hope, I love you very much and yes I forgive you." Francis reached over, pulled her in his lap and kissed her. She rested her head on his shoulder and held him tight.

"I wish we could stay this way forever," she whispered in his ear.

He lifted her chin so he could see her eyes and said, "Me, too my love. I don't want to let you go. But I have to."

Hope took her cue from this and got up from his lap. "Yeah, I know we said we wouldn't do this." She reached over and touched his face. With a smile on her lips she said, "But you're so irresistible."

He grinned and winked at Hope. "Well if you got it, flaunt it."

She laughed and gave him a quick kiss. "You certainly do Francis Mulcahy. As irresistible as you are, I've gotta go before I fall asleep standing here. I wish I could lay down on your bed."

An alarmed expression flashed across his face. "Now Hope, don't you remember what happened last time you were laying down with me?"

She rolled her eyes and answered, "Yes, how could I forget? I meant I just wish I didn't have to walk over to the nurses' tent and hoist myself up onto my bunk."

He sighed with relief. "Oh."

"I've gotta go Francis. I love you."

He stood up and took her in his arms. The voice in his head told him he shouldn't do it and he mentally told it to "shut up!" He kissed her and she responded with the passion he knew she was capable of. It left him breathless and unable to speak for a few moments. When he was finally able to say something, he told her, "Rest well my love. I'll see you later."

Hope gave him a peck on the cheek before she said, "O.K., I love you. Maybe you'll be in my dreams."

As she walked out of his tent, he said, "I wish I could be there with you while you sleep."

Hope turned around and told him, "One day you will be Francis. I'm looking forward to it.""

She left his tent hoping she could avoid an encounter with Hawkeye right then. She whispered a fervent prayer, "Please Lord; don't let Hawkeye find me before I can go to bed."

Unfortunately, the answer to her prayer was "no". There he stood near the nurses' tent waiting on her.

"Hawkeye, I'm going to bed. I've got to go to sleep before I fall over. Can whatever you want possibly wait until later?"

"If you're so tired, why didn't you go straight to bed instead of going to Mulcahy's tent?"

Frustration rose up in her and she wasn't in the mood to talk to him. Her answer was terse and almost hostile. "I went to Francis' tent because he's the man I'm going to marry and I owed him an apology for kissing you. Now, please just leave me alone and let me get some sleep."

The hurt in his eyes was evident, but she didn't want to deal with him right then. After a few hours of sleep, maybe she'd be able to talk to him. Hope didn't wait for a response; she went in the nurses' tent. Once she had taken off her boots and tossed them on top of her footlocker, she climbed up into her bunk and was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

* * *

Hawkeye reluctantly went to the mess tent to get something to eat. All the other tables were full except for one. He sat down alone. It was difficult to muster much enthusiasm for the food and it was made worse by the fact that Hope had refused to talk to him. In that brief encounter outside the nurses' tent, she had made it plain who came first to her. Those passionate kisses she exchanged with him in the supply room must have meant nothing to her. He had to let go of her, if for no other reason than the fact that she would be gone in two weeks.

He was lost in thought and unaware that anyone had sat down at the table until he looked up and straight into Francis' eyes. Neither one said a word. Both men looked away for a few moments before they started to eat. Hawkeye finished first. He pushed his tray aside and leaned forward. "Uh…Father…is your jaw alright? I gave it quite a wallop last night."

Francis rubbed his jaw. "Yes, I'm alright. Just a little sore that's all." He wondered if Hawkeye was going to apologize for hitting him.

Hawkeye wondered if Francis would say anything about their fight. He felt sure that the only reason he didn't have a broken nose was the fact that Hope had stopped the priest from retaliating for Hawkeye socking him in the jaw.

The silence between them was tense and awkward. Francis got up and excused himself from the table, leaving Hawkeye alone again. He wondered if the two of them would be able to be friends again once Hope was no longer there.

* * *

_Her dad was with her in a white room that only had two chairs. They sat across from each other. He leaned forward and took her hand._

"_Hope, remember that I will always love you no matter what you're going through. I'll be there to watch over you even when you can't see me anymore."_

"_Daddy, what do you mean "when I can't see you anymore"? You're scaring me." _

"_Honey, don't worry. Everything is going to be alright. Have faith. Hold on to your heart's desire and don't let go."_

"_I'll try Daddy. I love you very much."_

"_I love you, too. I have to go now. Don't be sad. Don't be afraid. Everything will be alright."_

"_Daddy, don't go! Please don't go!"_

"_I'm sorry Hope. I have to go." Reverend Jones kissed her on the forehead and then stood up. He started walking toward a door that wasn't there at the beginning of the dream. Hope followed him to the door. He turned around and said, "I have to go now and you have to stay. Good-bye my precious girl." Then he went through the open doorway and pushed the door shut._

_Hope stood with her head braced against the door. She pounded on it with her fists crying out, "Come back! Come back Daddy I need you!"_

Someone was screaming. It could be heard across the compound. Francis recognized the voice instantly and ran for the nurses' tent with Hawkeye on his heels. When they entered the tent, Hope was sitting up but perilously close to the edge of the bed. Her eyes were open and full of fear, but she didn't seem to be awake.

Hawkeye whispered, "Don't startle her by talking too loudly and just be ready to catch her if she falls."

Francis nodded and gently called her name. "Hope." He received no response and repeated her name. She whimpered softly, "He's gone."

"Who's gone?" Hawkeye asked her.

She started sobbing and answered, "He's gone. He told me he had to go and I had to stay."

Francis inched closer to her and said, "Hope, I think you've had a very bad dream. Now it's over and everything is alright."

"No, it's not alright! It's not alright!" In her half awake state, Hope didn't realize that she was about to fall off the bunk. Francis held out his arms, fully prepared to catch her.

"Hope, I'm here. Hawkeye's here. You don't have to be afraid."

Hawkeye finally got closer to her and gently said, "You need to wake up. It was only a bad dream. Come on swee…." He stopped before he said "sweetheart" out loud. "Come on Hope, wake up."

She moved, not realizing where she was and fell straight in to Francis' arms. Both Hawkeye and the priest let out audible sighs of relief at the same time. The fall jarred Hope into a fully awakened state. She was confused. Why was Francis holding her and Hawkeye standing next to them?

"What…Why are you holding me?" She looked at Francis and then at Hawkeye. "And why is Hawkeye standing there?"

"Hope, you must have had a bad dream. We heard you cry out and came in here to find you sitting up on the edge of your bunk, about to fall off." Francis put her down gently but held onto her arm because she seemed so unsteady. He would have wrapped his arms around her if Hawkeye wasn't there.

"Please don't leave me," she begged. The fear in Hope's eyes tore at Francis' heart. Whatever her dream was about, it must have been truly frightening.

"We're not going to leave you," Hawkeye told her. He felt sure that Francis probably wished he would go and leave the two of them alone. He couldn't help it, he still loved her. And he remembered how frightened she had been after the dream she had while he was sleeping beside her in the VIP tent.

Hope sagged against Francis and he had to grab her to keep her from falling over. The only thing he could think to do was have her sit down on the bottom bunk. Once she was seated, he knelt down in front of her. "Hope, have you had this kind of dream before? You seem so frightened."

Hawkeye started to answer, but he thought better of it. It wouldn't help matters to tell the priest that he had been with Hope when she'd had a bad dream like this.

"Yes," she answered in a barely audible whisper. "He leaves me."

"Hope, who leaves you?"

An irrational fear took hold of her. She felt that if she said it was her father, that he would really be gone for good. A head shake was the only answer she would give Francis.

Hawkeye and Francis looked at each other. Both men were thinking of how Hope had disconnected herself from reality when she burned the dress.

The one thing that came to Hawkeye's mind was something practical; getting her to eat something. She had worked OR the evening before, having eaten very little supper and after spending all night in Post-Op she had gone to bed without breakfast. "Hope, let's get out of this tent. You need to eat something."

Hope was relieved that he hadn't insisted on knowing who had left her in the dream so willingly complied with his suggestion. "Alright."

Francis helped her up and put his arm around her. She leaned against him as if she had no will power of her own. At that moment he could have walked her to the moon and back and she wouldn't protest.

BJ was sitting on the edge of his bed reading a magazine when Hawkeye and Francis brought Hope in the Swamp. He noticed how Francis was literally holding her up. He got up and without a word, led her over to sit in the chair that sat by his bed.

The three men stood by the door and spoke to each other in hushed tones. BJ had seen the worried look on Hawkeye and Francis' faces and wondered if it was time to call Sidney Freeman again. "Hawkeye, what happened to her?"

"It seems that she had a dream, a very bad one. We heard her screaming and by the time Father Mulcahy and I got to the nurses' tent she was sitting up on the edge of her bunk. She fell off and thank God he caught her." Hawkeye rubbed his forehead and then continued, "She said, "He leaves me." Hope wouldn't tell us who she was talking about."

"It seemed she was afraid to say a name," Francis added.

BJ was puzzled as to why they would bring her to the Swamp. "Why did you bring her here?"

"She had very little to eat at supper last night and no breakfast. Since it's too early for lunch, I was hoping you had something left from the last batch of goodies Peg sent you. Maybe if she eats and calms down some, she'll talk to us and tell us about the dream."

BJ shook his head and sighed, "I'm sorry Hawk, there's not a crumb left from the stuff Peg sent last time. Why don't you look and see if Charles has something stashed away that we can give to Hope."

Hawkeye prowled around in Charles' footlocker until he came across the half-empty packet of tea biscuits. He then went over to the stove and picked up the coffee pot. There was a little bit of coffee left in it. It was lukewarm at best. He poured it into a cup and handed it along with the tea biscuits to Hope.

She held the cup and tea biscuits in her hands until Francis encouraged her to eat, "Hope, I know it's not much, but you need to eat something."

When she sipped the coffee, Hope made a face. "Oh lord, that was vile!" Then she took a bite of a tea biscuit and quickly took another sip of coffee to wash it down. "And that was stale!" Then she unexpectedly smiled and said, "Vile and stale. Those two words sum up the food around here." The smile evaporated. "Thank you; all three of you, for helping me. That'll teach me to go to bed without supper or in this case, breakfast."

The door to the Swamp opened and when Charles Winchester saw his open footlocker he bellowed, "Who the hell has been through my belongings! Pierce, it has to be…" He turned to see Hope sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the tent with BJ, Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy hovering over her. He recognized the packet of tea biscuits sitting in her lap as the ones he kept tucked away in his footlocker. The Bostonian immediately softened his demeanor when he saw how pale and haggard the nurse looked. And he saw a distant look in her eyes something like the day she burned the dress.

He approached her slowly and motioned for Mulcahy to move away from her. He sat down on the edge of Hawkeye's bed and softly asked her, "Lieutenant, are you alright?"

She turned towards him and answered, "He's gone. He told me he had to leave and I had to stay." Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. The major reached over and brush one away from her cheek.

"Lieutenant, who is gone?"

Fear flashed in Hope's eyes and she said nothing, only shaking her head.

He looked up at the other three men. They already knew what he was going to say.

"We already thought about calling Sidney," BJ told him.

"Should we tell the Colonel?" Winchester asked. He looked up at Francis and said, "Father, what do you think?" It was his way of acknowledging the priest's relationship with Hope. If anyone could speak for her, he felt it should be the priest.

Francis knelt down beside her, took her hand and said, "I think we should wait. Maybe if she can rest for a while, she'll better. I'll take care of her." He looked at her and said, "Come love, let's get you someplace where you can rest." It was the first time he had used a term of endearment for Hope in front of anyone. It no longer mattered to him who heard it. She was his love and he was going to take care of her.

A frisson of pain tore through Hawkeye when he heard Mulcahy call her "love". It was beginning to sink into his heart that he would never have her; but how do you suddenly stop loving someone?

Francis helped Hope get out of the chair. He put his arm around her waist and led her out of the Swamp to his tent. He decided that he would put her in his bed and sit with her for as long as she needed him. He would even lie down beside her if she asked him. All he wanted was for her to be alright and not retreat in her mind like she had before.

* * *

The morning soon passed into afternoon. Hope finally went back to sleep and slept until suppertime with Francis sitting beside her the whole time. He read for a while and would glance at her often. The peaceful expression on her face held no trace of the fear she had shown that morning. He prayed that the worst was over.

When Hope woke up, her green eyes were as placid as a calm lake. She sat up in the bed and reached over for Francis and pulled him off his chair. When he sat on the bed, she leaned against him and asked, "How long have I been sleeping?"

"About four or five hours. Do you feel better?"

She nodded and answered, "I think so."

"Do you feel like talking about the dream now?"

Her body immediately stiffened and she whispered a quick, "No, please don't make me."

He rubbed her back until she relaxed and said, "O.K., we won't talk about it."

* * *

After Francis and Hope left the Swamp, Charles expressed his concern about Hope's mental state to Hawkeye and BJ. "I wonder if the Lieutenant is fit for duty. I only say this as her latest physician of record."

Hawkeye didn't like the direction that Charles was taking in his comments. "Charles do you want to ruin her military career?"

"No Pierce, of course not. However, there is a duty to the well being of our patients to be considered."

"Hawk, you know that Charles is right, no matter how we might feel about her personally," BJ told his friend.

Hawkeye sighed, "Alright, but can we wait until tomorrow to do something about it if she's not significantly better by then?" He looked at BJ and then at Charles. They nodded at each other.

"Then it's agreed, we wait," the Chief Surgeon acknowledged.

* * *

Why in the hell did people have to call in the middle of the night? Klinger pondered this question as he got out of bed and stumbled to answer the phone.

He answered with a gruff, "MASH 4077th. Who has the nerve to call in the middle of the night?"

A young man's voice responded, "I'm trying to reach Lieutenant Hope Jones. This is her cousin, Tommy Miller. There's been…a…" Tommy struggled to get the rest of the sentence out without breaking down. When he recovered, he finished his sentence. "There's been a death in her family."

**It appears there was a reason for Hope's dream. The news is not good. How will she take it?**

**Thank you dear readers for all your support. I do appreciate reviews and find them encouraging.**


	57. Chapter 57 The News

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 57- THE NEWS**

**Disclaimer- **If you've seen them on television, those characters were not created by me. However, Hope and her family are my very own.

* * *

Hawkeye was reluctant to give up his night shift duty in Post-Op because he knew Hope would be working the shift with him. He just wanted to be near her after what had happened that morning. Also, she had been so edgy during supper in the mess tent that he wondered if she would be able to work that night.

Both BJ and Charles had offered to take the duty for him. They were concerned about Hope as well.

"Hawkeye, I think you should let one of us work in your place tonight. You're too emotionally involved to be objective about her," BJ told him.

Charles agreed. "Yes Pierce, Hunnicutt is right. I believe it would be best if someone else was there to observe her, keeping in mind the discussion we had earlier about calling in Sidney Freedman if necessary. Keep this in a professional, not personal perspective."

"Alright," Hawkeye sighed. "You go Charles."

"Very well," Winchester responded. "I'll take your shift."

* * *

Someone banged on his tent's door. Colonel Potter sat up in his bed. "Alright, alright! Keep your bloomers on! What the devil do you want in the middle of the night?" he bellowed. He opened the tent door to see Max Klinger standing there with the saddest expression that he'd ever seen on the Lebanese corporal's face. "Klinger, what in blue blazes do you want at 3 in the morning?"

"Colonel, I'm sorry to wake you but I just got a phone call from Lieutenant Jones' cousin. Her father passed away today."

Potter ran his hand through his hair and sighed, "Have you told her, yet?"

"No sir, I thought the news should come from you. She seemed kind of edgy when I saw her in the mess tent at supper, like something was really bothering her. I didn't want to upset her even more."

"Alright Klinger, I'll go talk to her. Where is she now?"

"On duty in Post-Op. That's another reason why I thought you should be the one to tell her about her father. She'd probably take the news better if it came from you, sir."

Colonel Potter paused to think for a minute and then held up his hand. "No Corporal, I've changed my mind. I think it should come from the Padre. Go get him, tell him about Lieutenant Jones' father and that he should come meet me in Post-Op to give her the bad news."

"Yes sir. I'll get him there as soon as possible."

* * *

Francis had trouble sleeping that night. He looked at the clock beside his bed. It read 3:15. At this rate, he thought he might as well get up and try to read or pray. He certainly had a lot to pray about, mainly the well-being of the woman he loved. Just as he had quieted his mind and was ready to pray, someone pounded on his door. It was highly possible that a patient in Post-Op that needed him. He grabbed his purple stole and prayer book and went to the door.

The person at the door was Klinger. Francis couldn't help but notice the sadness in his eyes. "What is it?"

"Hope's father passed away. Colonel Potter wanted me to get you to meet him in Post-Op so you could break the news to her."

Francis' heart fell. He was beginning to have an idea about Hope's dream. If the Lord could communicate with Joseph in dream he could surely do the same thing for Hope. "O.K. Max, let's go."

Colonel Potter was waiting for them outside Post-Op. "Well Father, this is news I hate to give this kind of news to anybody but there's no point in putting it off. The sooner we tell her, the better and I think you should be the one to do it."

Francis nodded his head and agreed, "Yes Colonel, I think you're right."

When the three men entered Post-Op, Major Winchester noticed them first and realized that a visit in the middle of the night did not bode well. The Major quietly got up and stood beside the desk where Hope was sitting, working on a report. When she looked up and saw Colonel Potter, Francis and Klinger standing there, she knew her fears from the dream had become a reality.

Colonel Potter spoke softly and told her, "Lieutenant Jones, Father Mulcahy has something to tell you. Why don't you two go and talk in Pre-Op?" He looked at Winchester. "Major, go get Margaret and tell her to get over here PDQ. I'll keep my eye on the patients while you're gone."

Charles nodded and left Post-Op immediately to get the Head Nurse.

Hope's heart began to race and she shook as she stood up. Francis took her hand and led her into the empty room. He silently prayed that the right words would come. When she looked at him, he thought his heart would break. "Francis, why do you need to talk to me in the middle of the night and why did Max and Colonel Potter come with you?"

He reached out and cupped her face with his hands. "Hope, your cousin called and said that your father has passed away." He fully expected her to scream or cry, but she stood there silently as her brain processed what he had just told her. "Hope? Did you hear what I said?"

She nodded "yes" and threw her body against him. He wrapped his arms around her. She put her face on his chest and as the tears came silently, he could feel them drop onto his shirt. All he could do was hold her.

When Hope finally spoke again it was about the dream. "Now I understand what my dream was about and why Daddy said he had to leave and I had to stay."

"That's the reason you wouldn't tell me who was leaving in the dream, isn't it?" Francis asked as her stoked her cheek with his hand.

"I felt if I said it was Daddy that the dream would come true, but it did anyway." She began to sob.

By this time Major Houlihan had arrived in Post-Op with Major Winchester. Colonel Potter told her about Hope's father and then went into Pre-Op. In a very low and soft voice he said, "Lieutenant, I think it would be best if Father Mulcahy takes you somewhere that's more comfortable. And I am going to give you a sedative. I think it will help you."

She started to object to taking the sedative, but the Colonel told her, "That's a direct order, Lieutenant."

"Yes sir."

He left and came back a few minutes later and administered the sedative by injection. It was only a matter of seconds before Hope began to feel the effects of the medication. Francis had to hold her up to keep her from falling on the floor. He picked her up and carried her outside with his mind made up that he would put her in his bed for the time being. She was not going to sleep on that top bunk in the nurses' quarters again. He planned on asking Colonel Potter to let her stay in the VIP tent until she had to leave for the States.

Francis placed Hope on his bed gently and lay down beside her. He had given the news of the death of a loved one to many people in his years as a priest but if had never been personal like it was with her. Before he had declared his love for her, he had shared her sorrows; Anthony, the miscarriage, leaving Cho Hee at the orphanage. Now the loss of her beloved father had been added to them. The thought of her leaving the 4077th was hard enough, but now it was compound by the fact that he couldn't be there to support her when she got home. Tears came suddenly and he made no effort to stop them.

* * *

Hawkeye tossed and turned. There was no way he would be able to go to sleep. He wanted to see Hope; he wanted to be near her. Finally, he left the Swamp and went to Post-Op. When he walked in Margaret was sitting where Hope should have been. An uneasy feeling washed over him. Where was Hope?

Charles noticed the expression on Hawkeye's face. He met him in the middle of the ward and whispered gravely, "Pierce, let's go outside for a moment." He ushered the Chief Surgeon outside before telling him, "Lieutenant Jones' father passed away yesterday. Colonel Potter gave her a sedative and she's with Father Mulcahy now."

Hawkeye swayed like he'd been physically punched in the stomach. "Oh God, she'll fall apart. I don't think she'll be able to deal with it."

Charles put his hand on Hawkeye's shoulder to steady him. "You don't know that for sure. The mere fact that she is being sent to a base so near to her home may make a significant difference. She'll have her family nearby."

Hawkeye brushed the hair out of his eyes and said, "I've got to see her."

"No Pierce…Hawkeye. Colonel Potter gave her a sedative and I'm positive she's asleep. Father Mulcahy took her to his tent. Leave them alone and accept the fact that they are a couple. You would be invading their privacy at this moment. Morning is soon enough to see her. There is nothing you can do now. Go back to bed. If you won't do it voluntarily, I'll just have to pull rank on you and make it a direct order."

Hawkeye gave in to Charles' suggestion before it became an order and went back to the Swamp. BJ heard him shuffle in and the creak of the bed as his friend lay down on it.

"Hawkeye, where've you been in the middle of the night?"

"To Post-Op."

"You just had to see Hope, didn't you?"

"Yes I did. But I didn't see her," Hawkeye's answer was tinged with a tone of sadness.

BJ sat up and said, "What do you mean you didn't see her? She was supposed to be on duty tonight."

"She was until she was informed that her father had passed away," Hawkeye informed him.

"Oh God, it's not like enough stuff has happened to her since she's been here. Do you know where she is now?" BJ asked.

"Yes. Colonel Potter gave her a sedative and Mulcahy took her back to his tent."

A thought crossed BJ's mind and he said, "It's possible that Colonel Potter might give her leave and she could be back in the States a lot sooner than planned."

Hawkeye sighed in response to what his friend had said. "I hadn't even thought of that." It would mean he would have even less time to be near her. He turned over and made a feeble attempt to sleep.

* * *

The morning sun touched Hope's face like a warm caress. She laid there with her eyes closed for several minutes trying not to think of anything. When she opened them, she turned over to face a sleeping Francis Mulcahy. She didn't see him without his glasses very often and it was a chance to study his handsome, boyish face. One day they would be married and she would wake up to see him every morning. This thought led to another; she had never been able to talk to her dad about marrying Francis.

A sorrow too deep for words descended on her. It was the gut wrenching reality that she would never be able to talk to him again in this life. Her beloved Daddy was really gone and it was too hard to bear. Hope believed in an afterlife where she would be reunited with all of her loved ones, but she wanted him back in the here and now.

Hope let out a strangled sob and Francis' eyes flew open. "Oh Hope, let me hold you." He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. He felt so powerless to do anything to alleviate her sorrow and he knew it was something she had to experience and work through.

She looked up at him and said, "I want him back, Francis. I believe in Heaven, but I want him back now!"

"Oh my love, if that were truly possible, would you want him to come back if that meant he had to suffer pain and disease again?"

"No, I suppose not, but my heart wants what it wants."

"I know. That's why death is so very hard to accept."

"Francis?"

"Yes Hope?"

"I have to go away soon and leave you. That's very hard to accept, too."

He kissed her on the mouth and then told her, "Yes, it's very hard for me to accept as well. Remember Hope, that part of the human spirit you're named after is what we need to hold on to now."

"Francis, I feel like I'm hanging on to hope by my fingernails." She bit her trembling lips in an attempt to hold back the sob she felt forming in her throat. Hope swallowed hard and said, "Kiss me, make me forget everything for a few moments."

He didn't hesitate to honor her request. He pulled her as close as possible on the narrow bed and teased her mouth open with his tongue. She yielded to him and pushed her lower torso against him knowing full well that he was aroused. Hope was desperate for the comfort his kiss and his closeness provided and he knew it. If they were playing with fire, it was for a good reason.

In that all too brief moment in time; Hope forgot everything but being in Francis' arms. When the kisses were over, they pulled away from each other. Francis sat up and moved to the very edge of the bed with his back to Hope. His heart hammered in his chest and his body was on fire. He could tell that she was experiencing the same feelings by the way she was breathing heavily. Time slowed down and it seemed like forever before he turned to face her.

He caressed her cheek and told her, "My love, I wish I could do more. I wish I could make…" Hope put her finger to his lips and whispered, "I know Francis, I wish the same thing, but it's not the right time for that. With all my heart and soul, I wish we were married. Then nothing could stop us from fulfilling our hearts' desire."

* * *

When Max sat down at the table across from Colonel Potter at breakfast, he had not even taken a sip of coffee before the CO was telling him, "Klinger, see what you can do about getting Lieutenant Jones out of here as soon as possible. I am going to approve enough leave to give her time to be with her family for a few days before she has to report to Fort McPherson."

Klinger held up his hand and told Potter, "I'm way ahead of your sir. I've already made the call and Hope can take a flight out of Kempo day after tomorrow. Permission to drive her there myself."

"Permission granted. Guess you better let her know as soon as possible so she can get her belongings together and be ready to go."

Max looked up and saw Francis and Hope entering the mess tent. "Well sir, it looks like I'll be able to tell her real soon." He pointed toward the couple standing in the serving line.

When Hope and Francis approached the table, Colonel Potter noticed that the priest had his hand on her back guiding her to her seat. It was way too late to say anything to Mulcahy about touching the Lieutenant in public and given the circumstances, it was the least of their worries. Once they were seated he gently asked her, "How are you holding up Lieutenant?"

"I'm numb, sir. It feels like someone ripped out my heart." Her eyes watered and she blinked to hold back the tears.

The Colonel reached out and patted her hand. "I understand. To help you get back to Georgia a little faster I'm going to approve enough leave for you to get home and be there with your family for a few days before you have to report to Fort McPherson. Klinger has arranged for you take a flight out of Kempo day after tomorrow."

Hope took in the news and realized that her time remaining would be very short. Her mind understood the reason for Colonel Potter doing this for her, but her heart rebelled at the thought of having so little time left to be with Francis. Finally she spoke, "Thank you sir. That is a very considerate gesture. I really appreciate it."

A heavy weight descended on Francis' heart. She would be leaving day after tomorrow. He prayed that there would be no influx of causalities for the next two days. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with her to store up memories that would have to hold him until they could be together again and only the Lord himself knew when that would be.

* * *

Although he had hardly slept, Hawkeye stumbled to the mess tent. He wanted to see Hope. Surely the effects of the sedative Colonel Potter had given her in the middle of the night had worn off and she would be awake and most likely at breakfast.

He walked in the mess tent and saw her leaning against Francis. Hawkeye didn't want food, he wanted to see Hope. He went straight to the table where she was sitting. She looked at him and he could see the pain in her eyes. The surgeon couldn't begin to imagine how she felt. He only knew how devastated he would be if his own father died suddenly.

Hawkeye struggled to keep his voice from breaking as he told her, "Hope, I am so very sorry to hear about your dad. I know you love him very much." He reached out to take her left hand that was resting on the table. He squeezed it and quickly let go.

"Thanks Hawkeye," she murmured. "I…"

The screech of ambulance brakes in the compound cut off the continuation of Hope's response to Hawkeye. Everyone in the mess tent, including Francis and Hope, rose en masse to attend to the wounded. As the two of them stood up to leave Colonel Potter put his hand on Hope's shoulder and said, "Lieutenant, you and Father Mulcahy stay here. I believe there are plenty of personnel to handle the situation."

Francis Mulcahy nodded at his commanding officer in gratitude. He wanted every possible minute he could have with Hope before she was gone for good.

**Hope has received the news that her father has passed away. In giving her leave to get back home sooner, Colonel Potter has significantly shortened her remaining time at the 4077****th****. Now every minute of every hour that she is still there is precious to her and Francis.**

**Thanks so much for reading!**


	58. Chapter 58 Leaving My Heart

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 58- LEAVING MY HEART**

**Disclaimer- **The characters from M*A*S*H are not my own. Hope, her cousin Tommy, the rest of her family and Captain Jonathan Sullivan are mine.

I dedicate this chapter to the memory of the beloved actor, Allan Arbus, who portrayed Major Sidney Freedman.

* * *

During the triage of the wounded brought by ambulance to the 4077th that morning, it was discovered that one of them was a Battalion Aid surgeon, a Captain Jonathan Sullivan. He was more concerned about his aid station being minus a surgeon that he was about his injuries. Sullivan argued with Major Winchester, who was about to operate on him and struggled with the anesthetist trying to put him under.

"I'm tellin' you Major, you're not touching me until someone promises me that a surgeon will be sent up to the aid station to help out until I can get back or a replacement can be sent!" Sullivan reached up and caught hold of Winchester's arm with an iron grip.

Colonel Potter flew over to the operating table where the Captain lay. "Look Captain, I know you're worried about your colleague at the aid station, but you're not going to be good to anybody anymore if you don't let Major Winchester get on with the surgery! Now, go to sleep and let Major Winchester do his job. That's a direct order."

Captain Sullivan sighed and said, "Only if you promise me before I'm put to sleep that you'll send someone to Battalion Aid."

"Alright Captain, I will send someone there after this OR session is over," Potter promised.

"Who will you send?" Sullivan challenged.

Colonel Potter's fuse was getting shorter by the second. "Now look, Captain Sullivan, I said I'd send someone. You're in no position to dictate anything to me!"

"I'll go," Hawkeye called out.

"Captain Pierce has volunteered to go," the Colonel told Sullivan. "Are you satisfied?"

Captain Sullivan finally relaxed and answered, "Yes, thank you."

Once Sullivan was asleep, Potter thanked his Chief Surgeon. "Thanks Hawkeye. I would have promised the sun, moon and stars just get him to let us operate on him. Someone else can go if it's not your turn."

"Doesn't matter Colonel, I said I'd go," Hawkeye responded. It really was his turn and besides he shouldn't be gone more than a day or two, plenty of time to see Hope before she was gone. He ignored the little voice in his mind that told him it was wishful thinking to believe that she might still be there when he got back.

* * *

Francis took Hope for a walk. She said little and clung to his arm. Once they were out of sight of the camp, he led her to a large tree and helped her sit down under it. He put his arm around her and pulled her close. "Hope do you remember the last time we sat under a tree?"

She looked up at him and answered, "Yeah, how could I forget? It was dark and you had a banged up head and I had a broken ankle."

"And I recall a torn dress." Francis couldn't help but smile at the memory of seeing part of her lovely body for a few brief moments.

Hope reached up and stroked his cheek. "Well that night you sure seemed to be in a hurry for me to cover up. Why are you smiling about it now?"

"Oh now I just realized that I had a preview of coming attractions that night."

His comment surprised her. Hope felt the heat rise in her face and stammered, "Francis Mulcahy!"

He kissed her and whispered, "Well it's true. We are going to be married one day and I'm looking forward to seeing a lot more than just a preview."

Her moment of embarrassment was quickly forgotten and Hope entertained a desperate thought about asking him to take her back to his tent where she would give him a lot more than a preview. She was past the point of caring about what was right or wrong. Life was so uncertain. One day her father was alive, the next day he was gone. The present moment was all anyone really had.

She took his hand, kissed it and placed it on her breast. He caressed it gently and then slid his hand over to the other breast to give it the same attention. This was new territory for him and he was nervous and unsure of what to do next. Hope took his hand and placed it on the top button of her shirt. She helped him undo the first button. He took it from there and finished unbuttoning her shirt without further help from her.

Once her shirt was open, he slipped his hand inside and ran his fingers across her chest. He could feel her heart racing and the heat rising from her skin. As his fingers crept lower, she moaned softly and pushed her body closer to him. His fingers crept inside her bra to feel the softness of her breast. Reason and self control were about to make a quick exit from his mind.

She whispered, "I love you. I'm yours." Somehow those words brought him back to his senses and made him realize that Hope was in a very vulnerable state. Grief could drive a person to do things to seek comfort and escape from the pain of loss that they would later regret. As strong as his desire was for her, his love trumped it and he pulled his hand away. He quickly stood up and pulled Hope up from the ground with him.

In an almost childlike voice, she asked, "What's wrong? You don't like my body? Is it because I'm not a virgin?" Tears rolled down her cheeks.

Francis had no experience with other women to make comparisons. Besides, it wouldn't have mattered to him. He loved her, not what she looked like. In his eyes, she was beautiful. He brushed the tears away with his fingers. "Hope, I love you and I think you're beautiful. The fact that you're not a virgin doesn't matter to me. It will probably be an advantage when the time comes, seeing as I'm inexperienced in that way. I have a lot to learn." He pulled Hope close once more and wrapped his arms around her.

As difficult as it was to wait to claim her completely, the thought of her affair with Anthony and the fact that she had gotten pregnant was a very important reason to wait. The consequences of making love to her, even for the first time, could result in a child that neither of them was prepared for. More than anything he wanted to have a family with her, but it wasn't the right time.

"Hope, suppose we made love today and you got pregnant. What would happen then? It would end your army career and I'm not free to take care of you and a child right now. I would never abandon you like Anthony did. I'm not that kind of man."

She placed her head on his chest and told him, "I thank God every minute of every day that you're not like him. You're a good man; wise, loving, compassionate. A lot like my dad. Oh how I wish you could have met him. I think you two would have become very good friends."

"I know we would have. We have one very important thing in common: you." He lifted her head, kissed her softly and then pulled away to look into her eyes. The memory of the love and trust he saw in those green eyes would sustain him when she was gone.

* * *

After the session in OR, Hawkeye grabbed his medical bag and found a jeep. He was about to get in the jeep when BJ stopped him.

"Hawk, are you sure you want to be the one to go to Battalion Aid? Charles or I could go in your place."

"It's my turn Beej. Someone's got to do it and it might as well be me."

BJ had feeling that his friend would regret his decision. "Hawkeye, what about Hope?"

"What about her?"

"Remember, I told you that since her father passed away that it was possible that Colonel Potter would give her leave before it was time for her to report to her next duty station so she could spend a few days with her family. You don't how long you'll be there. What if she's gone when you get back?"

Hawkeye had told Colonel Potter that he would go to Battalion Aid. How could he back out now? It was dangerous going there. He didn't want to put his friend or Charles through that. It would be devastating if something happened to one of them because he didn't go there when it was his turn. He got in the jeep, started it and told BJ, "I'll have to take that chance. I can't ask you to go in my place just because of Hope." The surgeon drove off before his friend could say anything else.

Colonel Potter came out of Post-Op in time to see Hawkeye drive away. He walked over to where BJ was standing and sighed, "I feel bad. I didn't have a chance to tell Hawkeye or anyone else for that matter that Lieutenant Jones is leaving in two days."

"Colonel, I thought you might try to send Hope back to the States as soon as possible because her dad has passed away. I even suggested that to Hawkeye. I told him that Charles or I would go to Battalion Aid in his place but he wouldn't hear of it. You know he might not get back until after she's gone."

"Yes Hunnicutt, but it's too late now to do anything about it. Knowing him, he's going to be pretty damned upset if she's not here when he returns."

"I tried to tell him. Maybe on a subconscious level he doesn't want to be here and have to say goodbye to her," BJ speculated.

"Maybe," Colonel Potter responded. "You'd have to ask Sidney about that. Any way you slice it, Hawkeye is not going to be happy when she's gone."

* * *

Hope and Francis entered the office to find a weary Max Klinger trying to catch up on paperwork that didn't get done that morning because he was helping in OR.

"Hey Max, it looks like you're busy, but I would like to call my cousin Tommy. I need to find out about the funeral arrangements for my dad." Hope chose to talk to Tommy instead of her mother. Of course she loved her, but they were never really close to each other.

"Sure kid, pull up a chair. You too, Father," Klinger told them. Once Hope and Francis were seated, Max placed the call.

When Tommy answered the phone at her parent's house, Hope was relieved. "Hello, Jones' residence." His soft, drawling voice meant home to her and that she didn't have to talk to her mother or sisters.

"Hey Tommy, its Hope. It's so good to hear the sound of your voice. I called to find out about Daddy's…" A wave of grief washed over her and she couldn't bring herself to saying the word "funeral".

Francis pulled his chair closer to her and grabbed her hand.

Tommy was overcome by emotion and few seconds passed without a word passing between them. He finally spoke and told her, "Uncle Ed's funeral is day after tomorrow. I know you can't get home that quick. You and I can say a private good bye to your Daddy when you get back. I'll bring my mandolin to the cemetery and we'll sing his favorite hymns. How does that sound?'

"Sounds perfect to me Tommy. He told me he missed hearing me sing when I joined the Army."

"Hope, do you want to speak to your Mama, Grandmother or sisters?" he asked her.

"Not now, I'll talk to them when I get home. I've got to go now. There wasn't much time allotted for this call anyway. Tell them I love them and …Thomas Edward Miller, I love you."

"I love you, too. Bye Hope."

She handed the phone back to Klinger. "Thanks Max."

Francis rubbed her hand with his thumb and asked, "What did your cousin tell you about your dad's funeral arrangements?

"It's day after tomorrow. Tommy and I will go to the cemetery when I get home and have our own little goodbye for Daddy."

Francis kissed the top of her head. "I wish I could be there with you."

She looked up at him and fought to hold back the sob lodged in her throat. The grief over her father's death and leaving Francis was overwhelming. "Me, too," she told him in a breathy whisper.

Colonel Potter entered the office to the scene of Francis with his arm around Hope and Max standing beside them. The three of them seemed very subdued.

"Lieutenant is there anything I can do for you?" he asked softly.

"No sir, thank you. Max just helped me with a call to my cousin to find out about my dad's funeral. Of course, I won't be there in time for it because it's day after tomorrow, but thanks to you I'll at least be able to be with my family for a little while."

He reached over and patted her on the shoulder, "It was the least I could do for you, given the circumstances. I know it's tough, but you have a lot of people who care about you."

She smiled at him and squeezed his hand. "Yes sir, I sure do and a lot of them are right at the 4077th."

"Lieutenant, if you'll excuse me and the Padre for a moment. There's something I need to discuss with him."

"Yes sir." Francis got up and followed the Colonel into his office.

"Padre, I know I told you and Pierce to plan a farewell party for Lieutenant Jones. But the situation's changed since her dad has died. I don't think anything big is appropriate. Besides, Pierce isn't here to help you."

That news surprised Francis. "Where is he now?"

"You weren't the OR this morning so you don't know that a Battalion Aid surgeon was among the wounded that came in. Pierce volunteered to go to Battalion Aid until a replacement surgeon could be sent."

"So he doesn't know that Hope is leaving a lot sooner than planned?"

"Well Hunnicutt told me that he mentioned the possibility to him last night. Getting back to the subject of a party, I leave it up to you. Let me know what you decide."

"I will Colonel. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to go back to Hope."

"Of course, I understand."

Now Francis had something else to worry about. What was the best way for the unit to say good bye to Hope?

* * *

When BJ walked into the Swamp, Charles looked up from the book he'd been reading and said, "I take it that Pierce has left for Battalion Aid."

BJ sat down and the edge of his bed and answered, "Yes he did. I'd tried to talk him into letting you or me go there in his place but he wouldn't hear of it. He's not going to be happy when he gets back. By that time Hope will be gone for sure. Colonel Potter told me that she'll be leaving day after tomorrow."

Charles put down his book. "Hunnicutt, has anyone made mention of doing some sort of farewell party for her?"

BJ shrugged, "No, I haven't heard anything to do with a party for her. Do you think it's appropriate since her father has passed away?"

"Well, I for one would not want her to leave without having some sort of farewell gathering in her honor," Charles told him. "I was thinking of something simple and subdued."

"Why don't you talk to Father Mulcahy about it?" BJ suggested.

"Excellent idea, I believe I'll seek him out right now," Winchester responded.

Hunnicutt pulled on his ear and said, "Good luck with finding him alone. He's liable to have Hope with him. I don't imagine he's going to let her out of his sight if he can help it."

The Major pointed at him. "Ah, that's where you can be of assistance. Get Lieutenant Jones away from the Father on some pretext so I can talk to him."

BJ chuckled, "O.K., sneakiness and lying in a good cause. I can dance with that." The two men left the Swamp to carry out their mission. As suspected, they found Francis and Hope together. They were in the mess tent drinking coffee.

Charles went to get coffee while BJ headed to the table where the couple was sitting. "Hi there Hope, I've been looking for you. I'd like to take another x-ray of your ankle before you go just to make sure everything's o.k. Why don't we go and do that now?" BJ looked over at Francis and added, "That is, if your fella does mind that I steal you away for a few minutes."

Francis had no idea why BJ wanted to x-ray Hope's ankle again. She hadn't complained of any problems with it since the cast had been removed. The surgeon was up to something and he had no clue what it could be, but he played along and answered, "That sounds like a wise thing to do. Hope, I'll be right here when you and BJ are finished."

She was as puzzled as Francis concerning BJ's motive for getting her out of the mess tent, but she simply agreed. "O.K., let's go get this over with."

Once BJ and Hope were gone, Charles made a bee line to the table where Francis was sitting. "Father, please forgive the subterfuge, but I wanted to talk to you alone."

First BJ whisked Hope away from the mess tent, now the Major Winchester wanted to talk to him. What on earth was going on? Francis cleared his throat and asked, "Major, what is this about? BJ just told Hope that he wanted to x-ray her ankle again before she shipped out. I can't understand why he thinks that's necessary. She hasn't complained that her ankle is giving her any trouble."

Charles smiled, "I'm sorry, but I wanted to talk to you about giving Lieutenant Jones some sort of a farewell party."

The priest grinned and said, "Well Major, I bet no one has ever told you that you were the answer to their prayers."

"Ah no, I don't believe so," Charles responded.

"A few days ago, Colonel Potter "ordered" me and Hawkeye to plan a good-bye party for Hope. Since her father has died and Hawkeye's gone off to Battalion Aid, I wasn't sure what to do. I am grateful for any assistance you can give me."

"Father, I was thinking that a night of singing and dancing in the O club would suit. Maybe you and I could play the piano and the Lieutenant could sing. There would be no need for a cake, presents or an inordinate amount of boozing." He paused before continuing. "Well, you know how alcohol affects her."

Francis rolled his eyes and said, "Yes, it puts her out like a light. Guess I don't have to worry about my future wife being a lush."

Charles couldn't help but grin. He remembered the time he had to carry Hope back to her tent because she fell asleep at the bar in the O club after imbibing a glass of scotch.

* * *

Hope sat on an exam table while BJ looked at the x-ray he had just taken of her ankle. She drummed her fingers on the table and wiggled her feet like an impatient child. What on earth was the man up to?

He smiled and told her, "Well Hope, everything looks real good. Your ankle has healed well."

"That's good to know. Now tell me why you got me away from Francis? What's up?"

BJ gave an inordinate amount of attention to his mustache for a minute or so before he answered her. He felt sorry for Francis Mulcahy. He imagined that the man would have a tough time in the future trying to surprise Hope with a party or a gift. She was a woman who wanted an answer for everything. "Look Hope, could you please just go along and not ask any more questions? Do it for me, will ya?"

He flashed her one of his famous cheesy grins and she started laughing. "O.K., I'll be a good girl. No more questions."

The blond surgeon exhaled a big sigh of relief. "Thanks Hope."

Hope had noticed Charles walk into the mess tent behind BJ. She assumed he must be talking to Francis about whatever it was she was not supposed to know. So the three men were up to something. It wasn't the usual trio- BJ, Charles and Hawkeye- that she thought of. Where was Hawkeye? She hadn't seen him since the ambulance arrived in the compound at breakfast.

"Hey BJ, where's Hawkeye? I haven't seen him since this morning."

Now Hope was asking him a question that he would have to answer honestly. The expression on his face became serious. "Hope, he's gone to Battalion Aid. One of their surgeons was among the wounded that was brought in this morning. The man refused to let Charles operate on him until someone volunteered to go and take his place. Hawkeye said he would go and he did."

"Oh God, I'll be gone before he gets back. I won't get a chance to tell him good bye. BJ, I have something I want to him to have. Might as well give it to you. It's in my footlocker."

Hope and BJ went to the nurses' tent. She knelt down, opened her footlocker and pulled out the quilt her grandmother had sent her. For a few moments she held it close and then handed it to BJ. "Tell Hawkeye that I won't forget him." Her eyes watered and she struggled to continue. "I won't forget any of you. Let this quilt be a symbol of the prayers that cover all of you until you come home."

BJ brushed away tears of his own. "I'll tell him what you said. We're sure gonna miss you."

Hope hugged him. "I feel like I'm leaving my heart here in Korea." A few short months before she would have not believed anyone if they told her how important the people in this place so far from home would be to her. She prayed a silent prayer. "Lord, please bring them all home soon, very soon."

**Hawkeye has left to assist at a Battalion Aid station knowing that Hope will probably be gone before he returns to the 4077****th****. Hope and Francis struggle with their desires and the reality of their situation. **

**As much as she longs for home, Hope is leaving the people that have come to mean so much to her and it's almost as difficult as dealing with the loss of her beloved father.**

**Thanks so much for reading! More to come.**


	59. Chapter 59- Always

** HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 59- ALWAYS**

**Disclaimer- **I dearly love M*A*S*H and it's wonderful characters, but they are certainly not my own. Only Hope Jones belongs to me.

* * *

That evening there was finally a lull in the action at Battalion Aid. Hawkeye was hungry, dirty and tired. He flopped down on a bench and closed his eyes, hoping he could have a few minutes of nothingness. He didn't want to think about anything or do anything for a few minutes. The nothingness lasted less than a second before he thought about Hope. She wasn't there but she was. In his mind he could see her face and hear the sound of her Southern drawl when she spoke. Why had he so willingly volunteered to come to Battalion Aid? Maybe he was avoiding saying good-bye to her for surely she would leave before he could get back to the 4077th. The reality of the situation was that she would be just as gone whether or not he had a chance to say goodbye to her.

The first time he had been at a Battalion Aid station, he had written out his last will and testament thinking he wouldn't get out of there alive. Maybe this time he would write Hope a farewell letter. Hawkeye scrounged around until he found a scrap of paper and the stub of a pencil. It took him several minutes of careful thought before he began-

_Dear Hope,_

_Life is one big mystery to me; where we come from, where we go in the end and so many other things I'll never understand. The biggest mystery is why I fell in love with you. You're so very different from any other woman I've known. If we hadn't been thrown together by this war, I don't think I would have given you a second glance if we passed on the street. Don't get me wrong, I think you're lovely. I guess I mean we would have never been on the same street. It's a long way from Crabapple Cove, Maine to Between, Georgia._

_What you lack in sophistication and worldliness, you make up for in warmth, honesty and passion. Maybe that's what drew me to you. Who knows? I thought that you were the one I could spend the rest of my life with._

_Now, what remains is the memory of the time we shared together. I'll miss a lot of things- the way you joke and flirt, the way I held you while you slept, the sound of your voice, your green eyes and the way alcohol puts you to sleep. The list could go on._

_What I'm trying to say is that I love you and even though you don't feel the same way about me, I'll never regret knowing the girl from Between. _

_Keep on doing what you do best as a nurse; just being there for patients. It's more important than any medicine or treatment you could give someone. Even for a few minutes, you can make someone feel like they're the most important person in the world._

_It's very unlikely that we'll ever see each other again, so I wish you a life full of joy and love. _

_Remember that in some way, I'll always love you._

_Hawkeye_

He folded the paper and slipped it in his shirt pocket, not sure if he'd ever send her the letter.

* * *

After supper, Francis helped Hope move her things to the VIP tent after getting Colonel Potter's permission to let her stay there for the remainder of her time at the 4077th . They sat on the edge of the bed together and held hands, not saying anything for a long time. Finally, she broke the silence and said, "Francis, would you stay with me tonight?" When he hesitated to answer, she smiled and added, "I just want you with me; that's all. I promise I'll behave."

He stroked her face with his fingers for a moment and then responded, "I'm not sure if you can keep the promise you just made."

Hope looked down at her lap. Was he refusing to spend the night with her? How could she make him understand that she just wanted his presence and nothing more? Should she just give up and accept that he was uncomfortable being alone with her? Maybe what happened or almost happened that morning was the cause for his hesitation.

A long sigh escaped her lips and she said, "You're probably right. If you don't want to be with me, I understand." Hope continued to look down, waiting for Francis to say something. While he remained silent, she finally looked up and told him, "Remember, this won't be problem after I'm gone. Who knows how long we'll be separated from each other?"

The question brought Francis back to the reality of how little time remained for them to be with each other; one more day. Somehow that overruled the concern over what might happen when they lay down together. He was willing to take that chance. "Alright Hope, I'll stay with you tonight."

"Thank you, Francis." Hope brushed his cheek with her lips in a way that was more sensuous than a deep, passionate kiss on the mouth.

He shuddered and pulled her close. "Hope, you have no idea what your touch does to me. It can almost cause any willpower I possess to evaporate."

She sighed and relaxed against him. "I understand. One touch, one look from you is enough to make me throw caution to the wind. You know that already."

He cleared his throat. "Yes, I do. Let's find something to do that's not so "dangerous"."

"Like what?" she asked as she pulled away from his embrace.

He took off his glasses and polished them with the hem of his t- shirt. "Uh I don't know…Talk about our families…our plans, maybe?"

Without his glasses he looked even more like a little boy. Hope ran her fingers through his hair and said, "I want to have a son who looks exactly like you."

Francis put his glasses back on, took her hand and kissed it. "How about a little girl with green eyes?"

With a grin and a wink she answered, "That might be arranged."

He blushed furiously and she realized what he was thinking about. It was impossible for either one of them not to think or talk about something connected with making love. She decided to change the subject. "Francis, you've told me about your sister, but not the rest of your family."

"Well, I'm the youngest of four children. My sister Cathy is almost two years older than me. We have two older brothers, Michael and Sean."

Hope wondered about his parents. He hadn't told her anything about them since she'd known him. "What about your parents?"

"My mother and I were close when I was young. She used to call me "Johnny" when I was a little boy."

"Oh? I guess I don't know your full name. You know mine of course, thanks to Hawkeye." Hope rolled her eyes at the memory of the drunken surgeon calling out her middle name for all the camp to hear.

Francis smiled as he stroked her cheek. "Yes, I do know that you're Hope Juliet Jones."

She grabbed his hand and kissed it. "O.k., so tell me your full name."

"I'm Francis John Patrick Mulcahy. Quite a mouthful, isn't it?"

"Yes, but it suits you. You've said a little about your mom. Now tell me about your dad." The smile on his face evaporated. Hope sensed that Francis' relationship with his father wasn't good. She reached out and took his hand. "Francis, I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about him if you don't want to."

"No, it's alright. You have a right to know since you're going to be a part of the family. My father and I have never had a warm and close relationship like the one you had with your father." He stopped talking, concerned that the mention of Reverend Jones might upset Hope.

Hearing her dad mentioned in the past tense just hammered home to her that he was gone. The numbness that she felt at his loss turned to raw pain and a tear slid down her cheek. Francis brushed it away with his finger and pulled her close. "Hope, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

She looked up at him and said, "It's alright Francis. I've got to accept that he's gone. At least that's what my head tells me. It's gonna take a while for my heart to catch up."

He kissed the top of her head and murmured, "I know, I know my love."

* * *

When BJ returned to the swamp with the quilt for Hawkeye, Major Winchester was standing over his bed putting things in a picnic hamper. "Going on a midnight picnic, Charles?"

"No Hunnicutt, this is for Lieutenant Jones and Father Mulcahy. The war and the weather permitting, I thought they might enjoy going on a picnic tomorrow since it will be her last full day here."

BJ chuckled, "You amaze me. There's actually a warm human being under that pompous exterior. I would have never thought of you as a romantic."

The major rolled his eyes and said, "There's a lot you don't know about me."

The Californian shrugged. "I guess so. Tell me something, would you have made a play for Hope if Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy hadn't shown an interest in her?"

The question took Charles by surprise. After a few moments thought, he finally answered his tent mate. "I doubt it. Our backgrounds are too different."

BJ shook his head. "You are going to be a lonely old man if you don't change the way you look at people who are different from you."

Winchester had a distant look in his eyes when he responded. "I may well be Hunnicutt. It's hard to change the habit of a lifetime."

"Hard, but not impossible. Look at Mulcahy. He's willing to give up the priesthood to be with Hope," BJ responded.

Charles sat down on the edge of his bed and sighed, "As reluctant as I am to admit it, you may be right."

BJ poured two glasses of gin, handed one to Winchester and made a toast. "News flash! Charles Emerson Winchester the third thinks I'm right. There's hope for the world yet."

Charles quickly downed his drink. He pointed at the quilt on Hawkeye's bed and asked, "Where did that come from?"

"From Hope. She wanted Hawkeye to have it. Something to remember her by."

With a raised eyebrow, the Bostonian said, "Makes me wonder if she still has feelings for Pierce. Who knows what's in a woman's heart?"

BJ took another swig of gin and responded, "That my friend is the eternal question of the male population of this planet."

* * *

Francis handed Hope a glass filled with an amber colored liquid. She knew what it was without asking. "Are you trying to get me drunk? I'm not much fun that way."

He grinned and told her, "I know that my love. I'm giving you this in lieu of a sleeping pill. You really need a good night's sleep."

"Oh. You are going to stay with me, aren't you?" She was afraid that he would take back his promise to stay with her that night, thinking that an alcohol induced sleep would be so deep that she wouldn't know that he wasn't there with her.

"Yes Hope, I'm going to stay with you. I don't go back on my promises."

She took a small sip and let the whiskey's warmth slide down her throat and into her belly before she spoke. "Alright, I don't want to drink alone. Pour yourself one Mulcahy."

"My goodness, you're bossy," he teased as he poured whiskey into a glass for himself. He rolled the glass between his hands for a few seconds before taking a big gulp of his drink.

Hope took a rather large sip of whiskey and pointed her glass at him. "You just wait Francis. You don't know what you're in for. Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with me?"

He sighed and answered, "I guess it's the price I'll pay for being in love with you. It will be worth it."

Hope finished off her drink. She lay down on the bed, holding the empty glass on her stomach. "O.K., drink up and give me a kiss."

He complied with her order and put the empty glass on the floor. He lay down next to her and murmured, "Bossy, bossy woman" in her ear.

"Well, what are you gonna do about it?" Hope asked him.

"This." He kissed her forehead and worked his way down her face to her lips. She parted her lips and took him by surprise when she thrust her tongue inside his mouth. It was warm and tasted like whiskey. He moaned and she continued to tease him with her tongue until he pulled away gasping for air. "If this is a taste of what I have to look forward to when we're married, I'm done for."

She turned to face him and could feel him hard against her. A thought danced across her mind. "What would be so wrong in making love to him right now? We're going to get married anyway."

As if he had read her mind, he sat up and moved a fraction of an inch away from her. He raked his fingers through his hair and said, "Oh Good Lord! Hope, I'm sorry but I just don't think I can stay with you tonight. Please understand."

Hope turned away from him, curled up in a ball and mumbled, "O.K. Francis, just…go…now." When leaned over to kiss the back of her neck, she tensed up. He pulled away and whispered, "Good night, I love you."

She responded with a barely audible "I love you, too."

As he left the VIP tent he wondered why being in love with someone was so difficult. Why did he have to wait to take her? Why did love fall in your lap, but you couldn't do what you wanted to do about it?

Hope was hurt by his departure. Her heart and body ached with longing for him and she wanted to cry, but she was thankful that she was in love with a good, decent man who would never take advantage of her. Somehow that made waiting a little easier to bear.

The whiskey had been a good idea after all. Shortly after Francis left her tent, Hope fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. When she woke up in the morning, she felt rested and ready to face what was sure to be an emotional day.

* * *

For Francis, however, one drink had led to several more after he left Hope's tent, and the result was not pleasant. With his head pounding, he stumbled into the mess tent for breakfast and saw her sitting with BJ, Charles, Klinger, Major Houlihan and Colonel Potter. The conversation among the group was lively punctuated by occasional laughter that caused him to wince at the sound of it. When he sat down next to Hope she looked at him and said, "Francis, you look aw…" He looked so pitiful that she didn't have the heart to finish the sentence.

He held on to his coffee cup for dear life. Why didn't he stop drinking after that first glass? He knew why. The reason sat next to him; warm, alive and very desirable. She was leaving and he found it more and more difficult to accept that reality. Now it was really her last day at the 4077th. He could imbibe a river of alcohol and it wouldn't change that fact.

Hope put her hand on his arm and rubbed it gently. "Are you alright?" she whispered already knowing the answer. He wasn't alright at all. He looked like she felt the last time she had a hangover and it dawned on her that was exactly what was wrong with him. How could she get him away from the mess tent without embarrassing him in front of everyone else seated at the table? She moved her hand from his arm and placed it on the table beside his hand, barely touching his little finger. She waited for a few minutes and then quietly said, "Francis, I have something I want to give to you before it gets too late in the day. Would you come with me now?"

He nodded, thankful to get away from his table companions. After the two of them were outside the mess tent, he told Hope, "I'm sorry that I'm in such a state this morning. I hope I haven't embarrassed you."

"No, you haven't embarrassed me. You've worried me. Why on earth did you get drunk last night? "She reached up and brushed the hair out of his blue eyes.

He looked down at the ground. "I didn't intend on drinking too much. It just happened."

"Oh Francis, how did it "just happen"? I don't understand."

When he looked up at her, his eyes shimmered with tears. "Hope, I can't bear to see you go. I don't want to spend a day without you near. I guess I just wanted to be numb and not feel anything for a while."

She took his hand and held it tightly. "Now I understand completely. Come with me, I really do have something to give you. It wasn't just an excuse to get you out of the mess tent." Once they were inside the VIP tent she took off the necklace with the guardian angel medal that Tommy had sent her and put it around his neck.

"Francis, do you know the Mizpah covenant?"

"Yes, I do. Genesis chapter 31, verse 49. _The Lord watch between me and thee when we are absent from one another." _He looked down at the medal and held it between his fingers for a few seconds. Then he reached out for Hope and pulled her close. "I'll remember it every minute of every hour of every day that we're apart from one another."

Someone knocked on the tent door. Hope called out, "Yes, who is it?" There was no answer, only the sound of retreating footsteps. She pulled away from Francis' embrace and opened the door to see a picnic hamper on the ground with a note attached. She brought the hamper inside and showed the note to Francis.

_Dear Lieutenant Jones, this is for you and Father Mulcahy. The weather promises to be pleasant today and I thought you might enjoy having a picnic together. Kind regards, Major Winchester._

"What a lovely gesture and a splendid idea!" Hope's enthusiasm waned when she looked at Francis, uncertain that he would be in the mood for a picnic since he felt so awful. "Well, uh…if you don't feel like it, I understand.

Francis massaged his temples and said, "No, it's alright. Let's go on that picnic, but first let me take a couple of aspirins. I'll be better company that way."

Although it was rather early in the day for a picnic, they decided to go right then after a stop at the dispensary for aspirins. They chose a spot under the tree where they'd been the day before. When Hope opened the hamper, it appeared that Major Winchester had thought of everything- food, wine, a can opener, a corkscrew, two glasses and a blanket. It was much too soon to eat, but she took out the blanket and spread it on the ground.

Once seated on the blanket, Hope told Francis to lie down and put his head on her lap. He complied with her order and whispered, "Bossy, bossy woman" with a sly smile on his lips.

She bent down, gave him a peck on the lips and then sat back up. "Is that your pet name for me now?" she asked with a grin.

He rolled his eyes and answered, "Could be."

" Hmm...I'm not sure I like that name. Some people call their cows "Bossy". "

He scratched his head playfully and responded, "Well, I wouldn't know about that. I'm just a city boy, myself."

Hope started rubbing his head and Francis closed his eyes, a blissful expression on his face. She felt a little foolish but she decided to serenade him with a song that had been hovering at the back of her mind for some time.

_I'll be loving you Always__  
__With a love that's true Always.__  
__When the things you've planned__  
__Need a helping hand,__  
__I will understand Always.__Always_

_Days may not be fair Always,__  
__That's when I'll be there Always.__  
__Not for just an hour,__  
__Not for just a day,__  
__Not for just a year,__  
__But Always._

_I'll be loving you, oh Always__  
__With a love that's true Always._

_When the things you've planned_

_Need a helping hand,_

_I will understand Always._

_Dreams will all come true,__  
__growing old with you,__  
__and time will fly,__  
__caring each day more__  
__than the day before,__  
__till spring rolls by.__  
__Then when the springtime has gone,__  
__Then will my love linger on.__I'll be loving you, oh Always__  
__With a love that's true Always._

_When the things you've planned__  
__Need a helping hand,__  
__I will understand Always.__Always_

_Days may not be fair Always,__  
__That's when I'll be there Always.__  
__Not for just an hour,__  
__Not for just a day,__  
__Not for just a year,__  
__But Always.__  
_

"Always Francis, always." She stroked his face and he reached up to pull her down for a long, lingering kiss. For a few moments, time suspended and there was no past or future; only a perfect moment. All too soon it was interrupted by the sound of approaching helicopters.

Francis pulled away from her lips and sat up. He and Hope stood up, grabbed the blanket and picnic hamper and ran towards camp.

**The song **_**Always **_**was written in 1925 by Irving Berlin. It was first recorded in 1926 by Josephine Baker. Frank Sinatra recorded it in 1942 and would most likely be the version that Hope would have been familiar with. **

**So much for the beginning of Hope and Francis' last day together. Maybe they will have another opportunity to be together before the day is over and she has to leave the next morning. **

**Thank you Dear Readers for supporting this story.**


	60. Chapter 60 The Sooner The Better

**HOPE'S CALLING-CHAPTER 60- THE SOONER, THE BETTER**

**Disclaimer- **Of course, Klinger, Major Winchester, Father Mulcahy and the other characters from M*A*S*H are not my own.

* * *

Max Klinger was very glad he'd given up wearing high heels as he darted back and forth between his duties in OR and setting up the O Club for Hope's farewell party. Major Winchester had told him to do "nothing elaborate" for the party, but what could it hurt to decorate the place a little? He had scrounged up flowers; well they were more like flowering weeds but they looked pretty. For vases he had appropriated clean, empty specimen jars. He found a box of emergency candles thrown in the back of a file drawer and used empty beer bottles for candleholders. Also, he recruited Igor to sweep out the O Club and get rid of the cobwebs and dirt that seemed to be a permanent part of the décor.

By the end of the eight hour surgery session, Max had completed his tasks in the OR and the O Club. He sat down at the bar to take a break. "Hey Igor, gimme a beer. I think I've earned it running around today like a chicken with my head cut off." The private opened a beer and handed it to Klinger. He took a long drink and then sat the bottle down. "Well, what do you think?"

"Looks nice considering what you had to work with," Igor answered as he wiped down the bar. "I think the Lieutenant will appreciate the effort."

Max looked around and sighed, "I sure hope so."

* * *

Unless the unit received casualties in the middle of the night, Hope realized that she had assisted in the OR for her last time at the 4077th. For some crazy reason, sadness washed over her at that thought. What made it worse was the absence of Hawkeye from surgery. It just wasn't the same without him working there. She shook her head and quickly shrugged off the feeling as she removed her surgical gown and cap and threw them in the laundry bin. All she wanted then was a shower, a change of clothes and Francis' arms.

"Long day wasn't it?" Hope turned around to see Major Winchester standing over her.

She looked up and smiled wearily. "Yes, it certainly was. Not exactly what I had planned, but the abnormal seems to be normal around here. Even though Francis and I weren't able to enjoy the picnic you had planned for us, we appreciate your thoughtfulness."

He gently placed a hand on her shoulder and said, "It's my pleasure. Do you and Father Mulcahy have plans for the evening?" Of course they had plans; Hope just didn't know it yet.

"I'm not sure. I haven't had a chance to speak to him since this morning. I think I'm going to clean up and make myself presentable. If you see him, please send him to the VIP tent."

"I will do that."

"Thanks Major."

Once Hope had showered and dressed, she sat on the edge of her bed anxiously waiting for Francis to show up. After a half hour of sitting there, she lay down thinking about what was ahead for the next day. Her flight out of Kempo was scheduled for 0900 hours. She would need to get up early and wondered if she should go ahead and call it a night. Her heart rebelled at the thought. She wanted every remaining moment with Francis that she could get. Where was he? Didn't he know that the minutes were ticking away?

Francis surveyed Klinger's handiwork in the O club and was pleased. The corporal seemed to have the knack for making something out of nothing. The candles and the flowers gave the place a romantic atmosphere. He couldn't help but smile. It wasn't like he would exactly be alone there with Hope that evening.

He walked over to the bar and sat down by Klinger. "Max, I have to hand it to you, the place looks nice. I don't know how you did it and worked in the OR, too."

"Thanks Father. I just wanted everything to look nice for the party. Your girl deserves it."

Francis smiled and told Klinger, "I never in my life expected to call any woman "my girl"."

"Yeah, I understand. Sometimes an unexpected gift lands in your lap and turns your world upside down."

The priest nodded in agreement and got off the bar stool. "I'd better go find "my girl". I'm sure she's wondering where I am. Thanks so much Max for making this place look a little nicer."

"Sure Father, anything for a friend and his girl."

* * *

"O.K, Francis Mulcahy where are you?" Hope sat up on the bed and ran her fingers through her hair. She got up and opened the door to find him standing there with his fist in the air, about to knock. "Well there you are." She reached out and pulled Francis inside the tent, letting the door slam behind him. "Where did you go after the OR session?"

"I…uh…had an errand to take care of. Sorry."

"You can make it up to me," she told him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"How?"

"Don't play dumb with me." Hope ran her fingers through his hair. Francis closed his eyes, enjoying the sensations playing across his scalp.

"Well, I…uh…" he stammered.

"Come on, spit it out," she teased.

Instead of saying anything, he showed her by pulling her tight against him and kissing her so hard it made her dizzy. She had to gulp air into her lungs before she could say anything. Hope put her head against his chest and mumbled, "When you make up, you really make up." He skimmed her sides with his hands and she shuddered. "Francis, if you keep that up, we're going to…to…give…in…to temptation."

He let his hands drop away from her body and groaned, "I know, I know."

"What are we gonna do then?" she asked.

"Go get a drink at the O club," he answered. It wasn't the way he'd planned on getting her there, but it would do and besides it would keep them from giving into temptation.

"So the answer to temptation is booze?"

He swallowed hard and said, "In this case it is." He took her hand and pulled her out of the VIP tent towards the O club. When they entered, the place it was packed and buzzing with people talking and laughing. Everyone not on duty was there and there was hardly any room to move around.

Hope was ready to turn around and leave. There were way too many people in the O Club to suit her. She and Francis could get drinks from the still in the Swamp. "Why is everyone here? I've never seen this place so packed since I've been at the 4077th. And what's with the flowers and candles?"

Instead of answering Hope's question, Francis tried to get everyone to be quiet but without success. A loud whistle came from the back corner of the O club. Everyone immediately stopped talking and turned to see Colonel Potter standing on a chair. "Ah, the guest of honor has arrived. Barkeep, give the lady and gent a drink."

"Certainly Colonel," responded Major Winchester who was the bartender for the evening. He poured out two glasses of twelve year old single malt scotch and handed them to Hope and Francis.

"Now that everyone has a drink, it's time for a toast," Colonel Potter told the crowd. He held up his glass and everyone else followed suit. "To Lieutenant Hope Jones, we're going to miss you." He paused and smiled at Francis. "Some of us more than others. Good luck in your new posting, Lieutenant."

Hope's eyes misted and she took a large sip of her scotch. Before she could take another sip, someone tapped her on the shoulder and took the glass out of her hand. She turned to see BJ smiling down at her. He held out his hands and asked, "Wanna dance?"

"Sure BJ." Hope let him lead her out to the middle of the O club that had suddenly been cleared of people. At first they danced an arm's length apart; then Hope got closer to him and whispered in his ear, "Why don't you imagine I'm Peg for this dance."

He smiled and pulled her closer. "Thanks Hope." He closed his eyes and she put her head on his shoulder. For a few minutes he was in Mill Valley hold his wife in his arms and he was grateful that Hope had encouraged him to use his imagination to feel close to Peg. Just before the music ended BJ told her," Listen, I called Peg and asked her to meet you at the airport in San Francisco."

Hope smiled and said, "I look forward to meeting them. Is there anything you want me to take to give them?"

"Yeah, I'll give it to you in the morning before you leave." The music ended and they walked over to the bar. Before Hope could pick up her glass to take another drink, a new song started playing on the jukebox. Someone grabbed her hand and pulled her back out on the dance floor. She looked up into Major Winchester's face. "Now Major, is there some kind of conspiracy to keep me from drinking tonight?"

He grinned and answered, "Could be Lieutenant." They talked about their families and when the dance was over, Charles asked Hope talk call his sister, Honoria, when she returned to the States.

Before Hope could get back to the bar, Colonel Potter tapped her on the shoulder. "Lieutenant, may I have the next dance with you?"

"Yes sir." She held up her hand and continued, "But first, I am going to have some more of this lovely single malt scotch." Hope went to the bar and took a small sip of her drink. "O.K. Colonel, let's dance."

Her dance with the Colonel was followed by dances with Klinger, Igor, several enlisted men she didn't know and Sergeant Rizzo. The whole time Francis stood at the bar watching her with longing. He was the only man in the place that hadn't danced with her. When she walked by towards him, he noticed she had a slight limp.

"Hope, are you alright? You weren't limping when you started dancing."

"I was fine until I started dancing with the lead footed Cajun. He stepped on my toes a couple of times. I'll recover if I can sit down for a few minutes." Hope sat on a bar stool and reached for her drink. Before she could pick it up, Francis quickly took her hand and kissed it.

Hope was getting frustrated with everyone's effort to keep her from drinking. "Francis, what is going on? Is this a conspiracy to keep me from my whiskey?"

"Well Hope, uh…you know how alcohol affects you. We just wanted you to stay awake for your party."

"Yeah, you have a point." She picked up her glass and cradled it in her hands. "But it really is good. " Hope sighed and put the glass back down on the bar. "Look, I won't drink if you'll dance with me."

He hesitated and she thought that he didn't want to dance with her. Hope picked up the glass and put it to her lips. Francis put his hand on her arm and whispered, "Wait Hope. I really don't dance very well."

"Oh Francis, I'm sorry. Let's just sit here at the bar. It's alright; I promise I won't drink anymore." Hope put her hand on his and leaned against him. "I would never do anything to embarrass you. I love you too much."

"There is something I would like to do with you," he told her. Hope immediately turned beet red. Francis chuckled. "Hope Jones, get your mind out of the gutter. I just wanted to play the piano and I want you to sing."

"Oh…O.K.," she stammered.

Francis went over to the jukebox and unplugged it, much to the protest of everyone in the club until they saw him escort Hope over to the piano. Once he was seated at the piano he asked Hope what song she wanted to sing.

"No solos, Mulcahy. You know how nervous I get when I sing alone. Besides you wouldn't let me drink anymore, so there goes my "liquid courage"." She motioned for him to scoot over on the piano bench and then stood up on it. "Alright folks, Francis and I are taking request. If he can play it and I know it, we'll sing it. "She waved her hand around the room and added, "Oh and the "we" means all of you."

There were enough requests to fill nearly an hour. Hope's voice was about to go south so she tapped Francis on the shoulder and whispered, "I'm about to lose my voice. We'd better call it quits."

He looked up at her and he said, "You haven't taken my request yet. Just one more song. For me?"

"For you, I'd give my last breath."

"Oh nothing that drastic! I just wanted to sing _A You're Adorable._"

"I think I can manage that one. " She raised her voice to tell the crowd Francis' request. "The last song request for the night comes from Father Mulcahy. He has asked us to sing _A You're Adorable."_ Hope sat down next to him and started the song-

_A, You're adorable . . .  
B, You're so beautiful . . .  
C, You're a cutie full of charms . . .  
D, You're a darling and . . .  
E, You're exciting . . .  
F, You're a feather in my arms . . .  
G, You look good to me . . .  
H, You're so heavenly . . .  
I, You're the one I idolize . . .  
J, We're like Jack and Jill . . .  
K, You are so kiss-able . . .  
L, Is the love-light in your eyes . . .  
M, N, O, P . . .  
I could go on all day . . .  
Mmmmmmm!  
Q, R, S, T . . .  
Alphabetically speaking you're OK.  
U, Made my life complete . . .  
V, Means you're very sweet . . .  
W, X, Y, Z . . .  
It's fun to wander through,  
The alphabet with you,  
To tell you what you mean to me.  
I love you alphabetically!_

Without thinking about being in a room full of people, Hope reached over and kissed Francis on the mouth. He looked at her wide-eyed and she realized what she'd done. "I'm sorry. I got carried away. Everybody knows how we feel about each other anyway."

"It's alright," he murmured. "Just save the rest for later."

"Don't worry, I will," she promised.

People began to drift out of the O club. Hope sat beside Francis as he continued to play the piano softly. She leaned against him trying to store the memory of the way he felt in her mind. It was a memory she planned on using every moment of every day they would be apart.

Soon the club was empty of everyone except the two of them. Hope got up and switched off the lights to leave them sitting in the glow of candlelight. She held her arms out to Francis. "Now that everyone is gone, will you dance with me?" She grinned and added, "I'll still love you if you step on my toes."

Francis got up from the piano, walked across the room and plugged in the jukebox. He chose a song and walked up to her. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear, "Now I'll dance with you my love."

The first notes of _Always _started playing and they slowly started moving together. Hope rested her head on his chest and pressed her body into him. Her mind was made up. She would give herself to him that night.

* * *

As they walked away from the O club, Francis held Hope close. He intended to see her to the VIP tent and then go to his tent. As much as he wanted to stay with her that night, he was afraid that they would cross the river of no return if he did. He was afraid; afraid of what could the consequences would be of them making love, afraid of violating his vow of chastity; afraid of the guilt he would carry around in his heart and mind.

If he had only known that Hope was afraid of the same things. Somehow she pushed those fears away. She wanted him and she would deal with the things she feared later.

Hope pulled him inside the VIP tent and started kissing him with an intensity that she didn't know she possessed until that moment. Her hands snaked under his t-shirt and she rubbed his back as she continued to kiss him. Then she moved her fingers to his chest and began to gently rub circles around his nipples. He moaned softly and ran his hands up her sides and around to caress her breasts.

"Francis, take off your shirt." He pulled it off and threw it on the floor.

Tugging at her shirt, he pulled it up out the waistband of her pants and said, "Now take off yours."

Before she took off her shirt, Hope reached up and unhooked her bra. She pulled off the shirt and bra in one sweep. As Francis reached out to touch her, she took his hand and placed it on her right breast. It was soft and warm. The desire to kiss it swept over him. He slowly moved his mouth down her throat and then her chest until it rested on her nipple. She whimpered as his tongue made circles around it. He gave the same attention to her left breast and she began to moan and clutch at the waist band of his pants.

"Francis, I love you. Please don't stop. I want to give myself to you." Hope unfastened his pants and reached inside to caress him. When she touched him, he stood there breathless for a moment before he walked her to the bed. In a voice that sounded like it came from someone else, he ordered, "Lay down Hope."

She complied with his command and looked at him expectantly, ready to do whatever he asked of her. When he turned and walked away, she cried out, "Wait, what's wrong?" Hope opened the door of her tent and looked out to see him walking towards his own tent. She snatched up her shirt and put it on as she followed him. He turned to her with tears streaming down his face and told her, "Hope, go back to your tent and go to sleep."

He held up his hand as she opened her mouth to protest. "Just go. Just do what I ask you to do."

She backed away trembling. Instead of going back to the VIP tent, she went to the Swamp. Hope was going to drink a river of gin and no one was going to stop her.

* * *

BJ had just drifted off to sleep when the sound of someone fumbling around in the Swamp woke him up. "Hawk, you're back?"

Hope poured herself a drink and sat down on Hawkeye's bed. "No BJ, it's me. Hope."

He turned over and looked at the nurse. "What are you doing here? You should be in bed by now."

Hope laughed bitterly and answered, "Yeah I should be. But he doesn't want me." She gulped down the gin and poured another glass.

"Hope, what are you talking about?"

"Oh god, BJ you're not that dumb. You know what I'm talking about. It's Francis, he doesn't want me."

By this time Hunnicutt was sitting on the edge of his bed. "Hope, did you stop to think that he might be afraid? Being with a woman is new, uncharted territory for him."

"How long do I have to wait until he's not afraid anymore? I love him and I can't help the way I feel. God only knows when we'll see each other after I'm gone from here."

BJ had no idea what to say to Hope that would be of any comfort to her. He was grasping at straws when he told her, "Just have faith that you two will be together someday."

"Hah! How many times have I heard that in my life! I expect that kind of drivel from a priest or a preacher but a doctor? Come on BJ!"

He was sleepy and frustrated. What else could he say to her? BJ flopped back down on his bed. "Look Hope, I don't know what else I can say to you. How about finishing your drink and going back to your tent? Let me sleep, will ya?"

By this time Hope was feeling the effects of the gin she'd swilled. "Yeah whatever Doctor," she slurred and lay down on Hawkeye's bed. She closed her eyes and was instantly asleep.

When Charles returned from his visit to the latrine, he noticed a figure lying in Hawkeye's bed. Thinking the Chief Surgeon had returned from Battalion Aid he muttered, "Good for you Pierce. You'll be able to say good-bye to Lieutenant Jones in the morning before she goes."

* * *

By six in the morning, Max Klinger had been up for an hour. He was sitting in the mess tent waiting for Hope to come in for breakfast before they left for Kempo airfield. He started to get worried about her when saw Father Mulcahy enter the mess tent alone.

When Francis sat down at the table, Klinger asked, "Where's Hope? I expected her to be up already. We need to leave here soon if I'm gonna be able to get her to her plane on time."

"I haven't seen her Max. Perhaps you should go look for her."

This statement surprised Max. He had fully expected to see the priest and Hope together, joined at the hip until the last possible moment before she left camp. Something fishy was going on. Why would Mulcahy want him to look for her?

"Sure Father. I'll go look for her."

The groans that emanated from Hawkeye's bed sounded feminine. Major Winchester opened his eyes and sat up on the side of his bed. Pierce had not returned after all. Hope Jones was in the Chief Surgeon's bed. What on earth had happened to cause her to be in the Swamp? He got up and sat in the chair beside his tent mate's bed.

"Lieutenant?" he said softly. "Are you alright? What are you doing here?"

Hope opened her eyes and then shut them tightly. Too much daylight. She rubbed her aching head and answered, "Hell no, I am not alright and I'm not going to answer the second question. My head hurts too bad to explain. I've got a question for you. What time is it?"

"A few minutes after six a.m.," he answered.

"Oh shit! I should have been up already!" She rolled out of the bed and staggered toward the door.

Winchester got up and steadied her. "Come on; let's get some coffee in you."

When Francis saw them enter the mess tent, he got up and went over to Hope. Winchester made a quick escape from the brewing storm by heading to the coffee urn. "Are you alright?" the priest asked her.

Hope raked her fingers through her tangled hair before she answered him. "No, I'm not alright!" she blasted. "I'm hung over. My head hurts. What's more, there's a hole in my heart the size of Kansas! You could drive a jeep through it. And I think you know why, Francis John Patrick Mulcahy!"

Francis reached out to touch her arm and she retreated from him. "You want to touch me now, but you sure didn't last night!" she hissed.

"Would you please calm down and let me talk to you. I don't want you to leave here like this."

"Like what, Francis?" she was hurt and angry and the emotions were too powerful to let go.

"I'm sorry Hope. I shouldn't have pulled away from you last night without explaining why I did it. I still love you, please believe me." The pleading look in his bright blue eyes almost undid Hope, but she wasn't ready to let go of the hurt. It burned like a forest fire inside of her.

"Francis, I can't do this dance anymore. "Almost" isn't good enough anymore. I want you, all of you. I'm tired of waiting. Last night I was ready to give myself to you, all of me- my body as well as my soul. You seemed to be ready to do the same thing. What changed? Are you worried about me getting pregnant? Did you change your mind about giving up holy orders or getting married? As far as I was concerned, consummating our love would have "married" us. I would have worried about the Church's official recognition of it in the sacrament of marriage later."

He reached out again and this time he got hold of her arm. Francis gently led her over to a table at the far end of the mess tent. They sat down and he told her, "I can't help who I am. I couldn't live with the guilt of committing what the Church looks on as a mortal sin- premarital sex."

Major Winchester couldn't help but overhear the conversation. He sat a cup of coffee down on the table in front of Hope and made a quick exit.

Tears began to roll down Hope's face. She understood what Francis said and her rational mind was told her he was right, but her emotions and her body fought against it. "Francis, there's a war going on inside of me and I can't stand it. It's too late to talk about it anymore. I've got to go get showered and put on my class A uniform before I leave this place. Major Houlihan and Colonel Potter wouldn't be too happy with me if I left here not looking right."

She grabbed her coffee, got up and walked out of the mess tent; leaving things unsettled between them.

In the shower Hope alternated between drinking her coffee, crying and cleaning her hair and body. She went back to the VIP tent and put on her uniform only to discover that she had lost so much weight that the thing hung on her like a tent. It was too late to do anything about it. She would just have to wear it like it was.

Hope took everything essential out of her footlocker and crammed it into her duffel bag. She was ready to go and the sooner she left the better.

**Leaving the 4077****th**** is hard enough for Hope, but now it's worse because things are unsettled between her and Francis. **

**More to come.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	61. Chapter 61 In Her Pocket

**HOPE'S CALLING-CHAPTER 61- IN HER POCKET**

**Disclaimer- **Klinger, Hawkeye, BJ, Peg, Erin and all the other characters from M*A*S*H belong to someone smarter than me. Hope and her family belong to me alone.

* * *

Max Klinger shook his head. "Oh Hope, you can't go off looking like that."

"What do you mean Max?" Hope just wanted to get in the jeep and leave the 4077th. Good-byes were difficult and she wanted to go before she fell apart in front of the whole camp.

The Lebanese corporal tugged on the side of her uniform jacket. "Your uniform looks like it came from Abdul, the tent maker. Boy you've lost a bunch of weight!"

"Yeah, it's called the "come to Korea and don't eat for four months" diet. I don't recommend it. Now what do you want to do about my uniform?"

"Come to my tent and let me take a few tucks in it with my sewing machine," he suggested.

"But we don't have time," Hope protested.

He grabbed her by the hand. "We're gonna make time. You're representing the 4077th until you leave Korea and I want you to look right. Please, let me do this for you." He turned his big brown eyes her way and she started giggling in spite of herself.

"Alright Max, you charmer. You win!"

Once they were inside his tent, he gave Hope a robe to wear while he altered her uniform. "Put that on while I work my magic on these Army duds." He turned his back while she took off her uniform. She tossed it in the air and he grabbed it.

Hope sat on the edge of his bed while he went to work at his sewing machine. She watched him with fascination and wished she paid more attention to her grandmother when she tried to teach her how to sew.

Ten minutes later he was finished. He turned his back again so she could take off his bathrobe and put back on her uniform. When she was finished she said, "You can turn around now. How do I look?"

He smiled and answered, "Much better! Let's go kid, we're really gonna have to gun it to get you to Kempo on time.

When they got back to the jeep a crowd of people was standing around it- BJ, Major Winchester, Colonel Potter, Major Houlihan, most of the nurses and some of the enlisted personnel. Francis was there but standing a few feet away from everyone else.

BJ gave Hope gifts for Peg and Erin. She hugged him and kissed his cheek. He returned the hugged and kissed her on her forehead and each cheek explaining, "There's a kiss for you and one each for Peg and Erin. Be sure to pass them along when you see my girls in San Francisco."

"I will BJ," she promised.

Hope approached Major Winchester with a little trepidation. Should she hug him or merely shake his hand? They had not even called each other by their first names. She looked up at him for some kind of cue and was surprised when he hugged her first. "Good bye Lieutenant." He sighed. "Good bye Hope. You will be missed." She stood on tip toe and kissed his cheek. "Good bye Charles. Thank you for being my friend. I'll be sure to call your sister as soon as I can."

Then she turned to Colonel Potter. He was more than just her commanding officer; he had become a second father to her. She hugged him and said, "Thank you sir for all you've done for me. There's no finer commanding officer than you in the whole blessed Army."

The Colonel brushed a tear away from his cheek and said, "Good bye Lieutenant. Keep in touch and you tell Bob Strickland that he'd better treat one of my staff right."

"Yes sir, I will and you'll hear from me. I promise I'll write."

Hope then said to good bye to Margaret Houlihan. "Major, it's been an honor to serve with you. I just wish I'd been a better member of your nursing staff. I have learned a lot from you and will do my best to make you proud of me."

The Head Nurse gave Hope a genuine, warm smile. "Thank you Lieutenant. Good luck."

Hope looked at Francis, wondering if he was going to come up and join the group assembled around the jeep. He just stood there looking at her for a moment until she couldn't stand it any longer. She ran to him and took his hand. "Come ride with me in the jeep for a little bit, but no so far that it would take you a long time to walk back to camp."

He nodded his head and said, "O.K." Francis got in the jeep next to Max. Hope turned and saluted her colleagues and then sat next to Francis.

"Alright, let's go Max."

The trio rode in silence for a mile or so before Francis asked Max to stop the jeep. "I better get out now so it won't be such a long walk back to camp. Good bye Hope." He pressed a rosary into her hand and got out of the jeep.

Max put the jeep in gear and started to drive away. Hope put her hand on his arm and ordered, "Wait a minute."

"But Hope, you're gonna miss your plane if we don't hussle."

"Max I don't care. I said wait and that's a direct order." She hopped out of the jeep and ran after Francis calling out, "Wait, wait a minute."

He stopped and turned around. When she caught up with him, Hope grabbed his arms and shook him. "Good bye Hope, that's it? That's all I get from you? God knows when I'll see you again and all you can say is good bye? I do love you and Francis, I thought you loved me."

He said nothing, but stroked her cheek with his thumb and kissed her forehead. Then he turned and continued walking back towards camp.

She felt Max's hand on her shoulder and he gently told her, "Come on Hope, we've really, really got to go now."

"I know Max, I know." Hope followed him to the jeep while looking back at the retreating figure of Francis Mulcahy, her heart torn in two.

Once they were back in the jeep, Klinger gunned the engine and they took off. He pressed down on the gas pedal as hard as he could; fuming and fussing that it wouldn't go faster than 40 miles an hour. They'd gone about five miles when she saw something resembling a cloud of dust approaching in the opposite direction. When the cloud of dust got a little closer, Hope realized it was Hawkeye returning from Battalion Aid. She shook Max's arm and shouted, "Stop! It's Hawkeye."

The corporal brought the jeep to a stop. Hope stood up and waved trying to get Hawkeye's attention. He flew past them and then stopped when he realized it was Hope waving at him. He turned his jeep around and came back to where Hope and Max were parked. She ran and flung her body into his waiting arms. He held her close and whispered, "I thought I'd never see you again. " He kissed the top of her head and held her for a few moments longer before letting go.

Hawkeye pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and pressed it in Hope's hand. "This will tell you how I feel about you."

Hope reached up and touched his face. "Hawkeye, I believe I already know how you feel about me."

He took her hand and kissed it. "Well read it sometime in case you forget."

"O.K., I will." Hope put the paper in her pocket.

Instead of getting out and shepherding Hope back into the jeep for a second time, Max blew the horn and yelled, "Come on Hope! You are for sure gonna miss your plane if you don't get back in this jeep now!"

She turned and yelled back, "Keep your shorts on, I'm coming!"

Hawkeye started laughing and told her, "You better go before Max's blood pressure sky rockets." He grabbed her for a quick hug and then let go. "I love you Hope."

"Bye Hawkeye, stay safe and be happy," she told him.

Hope ran back to the jeep and hopped in. Max gunned the gas pedal and the jeep took off like a shot. "Gee whiz Hope, my hair's gonna be completely white before I can get you to your plane."

Hope sniffled, "Sorry Max."

He gave her a handkerchief. "When that one's all wet and soggy, tell me and I'll give you another one. I brought half a dozen with me."

Hope dabbed her eyes and stuffed the handkerchief in her pocket next to Hawkeye's letter and the rosary that Francis had given her. She put her hand back in the pocket and fingered the letter, the rosary and the handkerchief; tangible connections to the people of the 4077th. As long as she lived, Hope would hold those people close to her heart.

* * *

When Max pulled into Kempo airfield, the plane that Hope should have been on was about to take off. He jumped out of the jeep and ran into the hanger yelling, "Stop that plane! I've got someone who needs to get on it."

The Air Force corporal standing at the counter looked at him blankly. Max yelled again, "Stop that doggone plane so Lieutenant Jones can get on it. She's been reassigned to the States. Come on, come on! Radio the pilot and tell him to wait for her to board the plane!"

Finally the corporal went into action and radioed the pilot. "O.K., go tell the Lieutenant that the plane is waiting for her."

Max flew out of the hanger and grabbed Hope and her duffle bag, "They're waiting on you. You better hurry."

Hope hugged Max quickly and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Thanks so much for everything Max. You'll be hearing from me."

Max stayed at Kempo long enough to watch the plane take off and then he headed back to the 4077th.

* * *

All Hope wanted to do was close her eyes and sleep. She didn't want to think about anything at all for a while. She just wanted a respite from grief - the loss of her father and leaving Francis, uncertain about where their relationship stood.

"So you're the one that held up the plane." Hope turned to look into the face of rather large and jolly sergeant. She forced a smile and answered, "Yes I am. Sorry."

"Oh well, no bother. We're on our way to the States. That's all that matters, isn't it?"

"Um, yes I suppose it is. Please excuse me, I'm not feeling very well." Hope closed her eyes to shut him out and was glad when he said nothing more to her. She slept during the remainder of the flight and when she awakened the plane had landed in Tokyo.

On to the next leg of the flight- from Tokyo to Honolulu. If the circumstances had been much different, it would have seemed quite an adventure to travel half way across the world. Now all she wanted was to get home to Georgia as soon as humanly possible.

Ten hours from Tokyo to Honolulu and five from Honolulu to San Francisco. When the plane landed in San Francisco, Hope was relieved that the part of her journey over the Pacific Ocean was completed.

It was easy to spot a beautiful blonde young woman holding an equally beautiful little girl. Hope ran to them as if they were family members and received hugs from both Peg and Erin before she could introduce herself to them. Erin immediately latched on to Hope.

"Well hi there young lady. I'm Hope Jones, one of your daddy's friends. He's sent me to bring a present for you and one for mommy." Still holding Erin on her hip, Hope knelt down and pulled out the presents from her duffle bag. She handed a beautiful Korean doll to the little girl and a scarf to Peg.

"Hope, I bet you're hungry. You've got time to get a bite to eat before you board your plane, don't you?" Peg asked.

"Yes, I'm hungry and yes, I've got time. Let's go."

They found a small coffee shop in the airport and while they were eating lunch, Hope and Peg talked about BJ. "Peg, he sure loves you and he told me that he thinks of you and Erin every moment of everyday. I wish I could have put him in my pocket and brought him with me."

Peg started laughing and said, "You'd never get one of those big feet of his in your pocket, much less the whole man."

"Yes, that's true," Hope responded with a chuckle.

"Excuse me ladies." Hope and Peg looked up to see a man standing at their table. "I just got this new Polaroid camera that takes instant pictures. I was wondering if you would mind me taking a picture of you three lovely ladies. I'll be glad to give you the picture."

Hope and Peg looked at each other for a moment and nodded in agreement. They placed Erin between them and the man took a picture. He handed it to them and Erin was fascinated to see the picture develop before her eyes. She grinned and said, "Magic picture!"

Peg thanked the man and offered to pay him for taking the photo. "Oh no ma'am. It's my pleasure. The three of you looked so happy I just knew that it would make a great picture. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to miss my plane if I don't go now."

Once he was gone Hope told Peg, "Send the picture to BJ. I'm sure he'll love it."

"Yes, he will. Is there anyone at the 4077th who would love to have a picture of you?"

Hope looked down at her lap and mumbled, "Well…uh…yes. I think so." Should she tell her about Francis? Peg was a stranger and yet Hope felt comfortable with her. It was like being with BJ himself.

"Yes Peg, there is. When you send the picture to BJ, please ask him to make sure Francis Mulcahy gets to see it."

"Francis is the camp chaplain isn't he?" Peg couldn't help but wonder what sort of relationship Hope had with the priest.

Hope nodded a "yes". What must BJ's wife be thinking? "He asked me to marry him. I said "yes". Although I don't know if it will ever happen. Me and Francis getting married I mean."

Peg Hunnicutt reached out and took Hope's hand. "Oh and I thought it was tough having my husband thousands of miles away from home. At least BJ and I are married. It's got to be hard not knowing where your relationship with Francis stands. I guess he's willing to give up the priesthood for you."

"He told me he was. Only time will tell if he meant it." Hope looked at her watch. "Peg, I've got to go. I should be heading toward my plane."

Peg picked up Erin and reached over to hug Hope. "Good bye. I'm so glad we got to meet. Thanks for bringing a little bit of BJ home to me. Let's keep in touch."

"Thanks Peg. I'd like that very much. It would keep us connected to each other and our loved ones in Korea." Peg took a piece of paper from her purse and quickly jotted down her address and phone number. Hope took the paper and slipped into her pocket along with Hawkeye's letter, Francis' rosary and Max's handkerchief to add it to what she called in her mind- "the 4077th in my pocket."

* * *

After what seemed like an eternity, Hope's plane touched down on a runway at the Atlanta airport. She stepped out into the bright Georgia sunshine wondering if she was dreaming. Home. She was really home at last!

Inside the terminal, there stood her family- her mother, grandmother, sisters and her cousin Tommy. As much as she wanted to throw herself into Tommy's arms, she went to her mother first. Hope threw down her duffle bag and hugged her mother. "Mama! I'm home!"

Martha Jones pulled away from her daughter and touched Hope's face. "Yes honey, you're home and I'm so glad." Both women were about to cry when Martha said, "You'd better give everybody else a hug. I can't hog you all to myself."

Hope hugged her grandmother and sisters. When she got to Tommy she held him just a little bit longer than she'd held the rest of her family. He was not only her cousin, he was her best friend. "Hey Tommy, I'm so glad to see you. Thanks for looking after Mama and my sisters for me."

Tommy took off his glasses and wiped a tear off his cheek. "You're welcome. They're my family, too. Come on; let's get you home to Between."

* * *

Max and Hawkeye returned to the 4077th just in time to assist with an influx of wounded soldiers. The following 24 hours left little time for anything but work, much less thinking about Hope. When the Chief Surgeon finally made it to his bed in the Swamp, he saw a quilt that hadn't been there when he'd left for Battalion Aid.

He sat down on his bed and put the quilt in his lap, running his hands over it. "Say Beej, where did this come from? Is this my reward for doing my good deed and working at Battalion Aid?"

"No Hawk, it's from Hope. She wanted you to have it. She said to tell you that it symbolizes all the prayers that you, well all of us, are covered with until we come home."

She was gone, but she wasn't gone. Hope's presence would remain with Hawkeye. Now he had something tangible to hold on to, the quilt in his lap. He couldn't help but wonder if she had left anything for Francis Mulcahy.

Hawkeye didn't know it, but she had left something for the priest- a large case of uncertainty. No matter what Francis did to distract himself from thinking about her, Hope was ever present. All he could see was the hurt in her eyes as she lay there half-naked on the bed in the VIP tent, waiting and willing to give her body to him. If she had not looked so vulnerable and trusting, he might have taken her without a second thought. The woman was not a "one night stand" to him; he never even done that with any other woman. She was his life, his everything.

What tore at him was the fact that he hadn't given her a proper good-bye; he'd shoved a rosary into her hand, kissed her on the forehead and walked away. What could he put in a letter that would make up for that? Francis put his head on his desk and prayed, "Oh Lord, help me find a way to let Hope know I still love her!"

* * *

Hope's bedroom looked just like she had left it when she joined the army. The bed looked so inviting with soft pillows, clean white sheets and one of her Grandmother's quilts on it. She sat down on it and slipped off her shoes. It was so tempting to lie down on it and sleep for a week, but she felt so travel worn and dirty that she didn't want crawl between the covers without taking a shower first.

Everything about being home seemed stand in contrast to her experiences in Korea. She was inside a house with solid walls and clean floors. Hope knew there would be plenty of hot water, soap, shampoo and towels when she took a shower. More importantly she was with the people she'd known all her life. It almost made her want to forget the place and people she had known for the last four months, but she couldn't. The people of the 4077th had come to mean as much to her as her own family.

After Hope had showered she fell in the bed and slept for the rest of the day. The house was dark and nearly silent when she awoke. She left her bedroom and made her way along the darkened hall by touching the wall. A muffled sound coming from her parent's bedroom drew her attention. Hope entered the room to find her mother crying softly into a pillow. She sat down on the edge of the bed and whispered, "Mama, I'm here." Martha Jones turned over and reached out for her daughter. Hope snuggled up against her mother and fell asleep in her arms.

**Hope has finally made it home, but her heart is still in Korea with the people of the 4077****th****. **

**Thanks for reading. Please review.**

**More to come.**


	62. Chapter 62 Unresolved

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 62- UNRESOLVED**

**Disclaimer- **Only Hope Jones and my family are my own creation. Of course the characters from M*A*S*H are not.

* * *

"Come on guys! I think I'd find livelier poker players in a morgue." Sidney Freedman was beginning to wish he'd stayed in his office in Seoul. The only player to muster much enthusiasm for the game was Margaret Houlihan. Everyone else, BJ, Winchester, Colonel Potter, Klinger, Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy looked like they'd lost their best friend.

"She's gone Sidney," Hawkeye told him.

"Who's gone?"

"Hope," Hawkeye and Francis answered as a duet.

Sidney hadn't seen her when he arrived at the 4077th, but he thought she was on duty in Post-Op or in the O club. "When did Lieutenant Jones leave?"

"Three days ago," answered Klinger.

"Where did she go?" Sidney asked.

"The Hospital at Fort McPherson, in Atlanta," Colonel Potter told him. "She asked for a transfer. Turned out for the best. Her father passed away right after her transfer came through."

"It was best for her, but by the expressions on your faces I can tell it wasn't the best thing for all of you," the psychiatrist offered.

"I wouldn't say that," Francis told him.

With a raised eyebrow Sidney responded, "Really?"

The priest looked down at the table and mumbled, "I'll explain later, maybe."

"Sure Father, that's fine with me. Just let me know if and when you want to talk about it."

* * *

It wasn't hard to find Reverend Jones' grave. It was the only one in the tiny cemetery with a fresh mound of Georgia red clay on top of it. Hope held Tommy's hand tightly as they walked toward it. It was all she could do to put one foot in front of the other. Seeing that mound of red earth was a potent reminder that her father was no longer living in the same world that she was. Death was so cruel. It seemed so final, no matter what one believed about an afterlife.

Once they were beside the grave, Hope knelt down and clutched a handful of dirt. She held it for a moment before she let it trickle back onto the ground between her fingers. She wanted to tell him so many things- how much she loved and missed him and about all the things that had happened to her in Korea, especially her relationship with Francis- but the words wouldn't come.

Tommy helped his cousin up from the ground and whispered, "Ready?" She nodded "yes" and he began to play _Wayfaring Stranger _on his mandolin. They sang together-

_I am a poor wayfaring stranger_

_While traveling thru this world of woe_

_Yet there's no sickness, toil or danger _

_in that bright world to which I go_

_I'm going there to see my father _

_I'm going there no more to roam_

_I'm only going over Jordan_

_I'm only going over home_

_I know dark clouds will gather round me_

_I know my way is rough and steep_

_Yet beauteous fields lie just before me_

_Where God's redeemed their vigils keep_

_I'm going there to see my mother_

_She said she'd meet me when I come_

_I'm only going over Jordan_

_I'm only going over home_

Hope opened her Bible and read from the book of Daniel, chapter 12, verse 30. _"Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever."_ She closed her eyes in prayer and spoke from the heart. "Dear Lord, receive the soul of my dear daddy, a righteous man who led many to you. May he shine in your presence forever. Amen."

Tommy put his arm around Hope and held her while she cried. He had no idea how long they had been there when she looked up at him and said, "Let's go home now."

It took less than ten minutes to get back to the Jones' house. Tommy shut off the engine of his pick- up truck and was about to open his door when Hope put her hand on his shoulder and asked, "Can we stay out here for a while and talk?"

"Sure Hope, we can talk for as long as you want. You and I have a lot of catching up to do. Have you got something in particular on your mind?"

Hope leaned back in her seat and sighed, "Yeah, I do. I want you to be the first one in the family to know that I'm engaged."

"Really?" He hugged her and then let go. "Congratulations! Who's the lucky guy? You must have met him in Korea."

"Yes, I did."

"Is he a doctor?"

She shook her head and answered, "Nope."

Tommy thought about the little he knew about military medical units. Doctor and nurses were officers; everyone else in a medical unit would be enlisted personnel. "Well, did you fall in love with an enlisted man? There's no shame in that."

"You're right Tommy, there's no shame in being in love with an enlisted man but my fiancée is an officer. Doctor and nurses aren't the only officers in a medical unit."

He scratched his head. What kind of work would an officer do in a medical unit if he wasn't a doctor? "I don't know. Come on; tell me what kind of job he does."

Hope hesitated. How much should she tell Tommy about Francis? "He's a chaplain."

A big smile spread across her cousin's face. "Oh wow! Your daddy would have been so happy about that! What denomination does he belong to? Baptist? Methodist? Presbyterian? Lutheran?"

"No, he's Catholic," she told him.

He took a few second to process what Hope just told him. "But Catholic priests can't get married. I'm confused. Did the Catholic Church change its rules recently?"

"No Tommy, it didn't change its rules. He's going to leave the priesthood to marry me. At least I think he still wants to get married. Things were unsettled between us when I left the 4077th." She started sobbing loudly. He put his arm around her and patted her shoulder.

"Y'all have a fight before you left and you didn't make up. Am I right?"

Hope nodded "yes". She sure didn't want to give Tommy the intimate details of what happened the night before she left Korea. "Yeah something like that. We fought and didn't make up."

"Well gal, write the man a letter, send him a telegram or call him on the phone and make up for goodness sake! You love him, don't you?"

Hope sat up and wiped her face with the back of her scarred left hand. Tommy grabbed her hand and looked at it. "Good Lord, what happened to your hand?" He shook his head. "An unresolved lover's quarrel and a burned hand. It's a good thing you're home. I'm afraid to ask what else happened to you over there."

"Then please don't. I'll tell you some day, but not now. Back to my fiancée- his name is Francis by the way. Yes Tommy, I love him. I hope he still loves me."

"For Pete's sake cousin o'mine, just get in touch with him and find out where you stand. That's all you can do."

"You're right. We'd better go in the house before Mama calls out the State Patrol to look for us."

* * *

By the time everyone decided to give up on the poker game, it was too late to go to the O club for a drink, so they made use of the Swamp's still. Everyone except Sidney proceeded to get a buzz on. He slowly sipped his drink and observed his friends. He'd seen BJ, Hawkeye and Sherman Potter drunk before but never Father Mulcahy. He seemed to be drinking hard and fast. What was eating at the man?

He could tell that the priest was having a difficult time dealing with Lieutenant Jones' absence from the 4077th. He hoped that Mulcahy would talk about his feelings. Well maybe not right then, but soon.

Everyone was surprised when Francis began to warble _I'll be loving you always. _They all joined in singing with him. Once the song was finished, he burst out into loud, groaning sobs. Colonel Potter sat down next to him and patted him on the shoulder. "It's alright Padre, I know you miss her," the commanding officer slurred. "You two…will…be together someday." He punctuated the sentence with a hiccup.

Francis put his hand in his hands and mumbled, "I don't know. We…uh…had…a…disagree…ment right before she left. She wanted to…and I didn't… Now I wish…we had."

Sidney shook his head. Alcohol had a way of loosening tongues and turning off good sense. Without giving details, Mulcahy had given details. Anyone with half an imagination knew what he was talking about. If the priest later remembered what he just revealed, he would be mortified.

Somewhere in Hawkeye's inebriated brain a thought registered. "No wonder Hope threw herself into my arms when she met me my way back from Battalion Aid. Does that mean it's over between her and Mulcahy?" A smile spread across his face.

"Hey Hawk, why are you smiling? Don't you see that…uh…our friend…uh.." BJ had difficulty get the words to come out of his mouth. His whole head, especially his tongue, buzzed. "Oh yeah, Father Mulcahy is upset. You shouldn't be smiling about that."

"I'm not smiling because he's sad, you dope. I'm smiling about something else," Hawkeye told him solemnly and rather loudly. "I just might still have a chance with Hope. That's why I'm smiling."

Francis' sobs instantly ceased when he heard what Hawkeye had said. At that moment any inhibition about punching the daylights out of the doctor was nonexistent. He lunged at the surgeon and socked him in the eye before anyone could stop him.

"Ow! Why'd you hit me?" Hawkeye yelled.

"Because Hawkeye Pierce, you're nothin' but a woman stealer!" Mulcahy hissed.

"Well I can tell you one thing Father. If she was mine, she wouldn't have to ask me twice to make love to her!" the Chief Surgeon responded.

Sidney knew it was time to intervene. He grabbed Francis by the arm and then told BJ, "Take care of Hawkeye. I'm putting Father Mulcahy to bed. The party is definitely over!"

* * *

At midnight the sound of kitchen cabinet doors being opened and closed repeatedly woke up Martha Jones. Was there a prowler in the kitchen? What on earth would they want from there? There was no money hidden in a sugar dish or cookie jar. She rummaged around in her bedroom closet for a weapon and found one of her late husband's golf clubs. Armed with a nine iron, she made her way to the kitchen.

The closer she got, the more she could hear. There was the sound of thumps, clattering of dishes, opening and closing of drawers. Right before she entered the kitchen she called out, "Alright who are you and what are you doing in my kitchen?"

The "kitchen prowler" screamed and dropped a bag on the floor. It burst open on impact, sending up white clouds of flour all over his/her legs. The person turned around and Martha saw it was Hope in her father's old brown corduroy bathrobe. "My lord Mama! Did you have to sneak up on me like that?"

Mrs. Jones put the golf club against the kitchen table and walked over to her daughter. "Hope, what are you doing in here at midnight? I thought you were a prowler."

"I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd make some cookies to send to my friends at the 4077th," Hope answered.

"You must really miss them."

"Yes ma'am I do. I got real close to a few of them." Hope didn't add that one of those friends had proposed to her. "I just thought they would enjoy some home baked goodies." She recalled the memory of the time that she and Hawkeye had raided the brownies that Peg had sent to BJ and smiled.

"Would you like some help?" her mother asked. "I don't think I could go back to sleep now if I tried."

"Yeah, Mama. I would love some help." Hope hugged her mother and they started to work.

Around 3 a.m., the last pan of cookies had been taken out of the oven and placed on the counter to cool. Hope collapsed in a chair. She picked up the golf club her mother had left against the table, twirled it around like a baton a few times before she put it down and then started laughing.

Martha sat down across the table from her daughter and asked, "What's so funny?"

"Oh, I was just thinking what Daddy would say…I mean what he would have said if he'd seen you wielding that golf club as a weapon?" The laughter died away and was suddenly replaced by tears. "I miss him so! There's so much I wanted to tell him."

Hope's mother reached across the table and took her daughter's hand. "What did you want to tell him? You know you can always talk to me. I'm still here."

Hope decided she wasn't ready to tell her mother about Francis. She would one day, but not at 3 o'clock in the morning in a messy kitchen. "I know. We'll talk, but could it wait until later? I'm beat and besides this kitchen is a mess." Hope pointed at the counters covered with sugar and flour and the sink overflowing with dirty bowls and spoons. "Grandmother will throw a fit if she sees this when she gets up."

"Yes, let's clean up the kitchen before we go back to bed," Martha told her. "We'll talk later. Promise?"

"Yes Mama, I promise."

* * *

No matter what the real temperature was at the 4077th, everyone could feel a definite chill in the air between Hawkeye Pierce and Francis Mulcahy. The two men went out of their way to avoid being around each other. They sat at opposite ends of the mess tent at mealtimes. If the surgeon entered the O club, the priest would leave or vice versa. Colonel Potter let the situation slide until it started affecting the patients.

A young Marine named Jamison recovering in Post-Op said something to Potter that was the straw that broke the camel's back. "Sir, I've asked the chaplain to come and hear my confession at least three times since I got here. And the last time I asked him, Captain Pierce happened to be standing at the foot of my bed looking at my chart and the priest just walked on by like he didn't hear me. He seems like his mind is somewhere else and I sure wouldn't ask for him if I didn't need him. Making a confession isn't my idea of fun, but I'm Catholic and I feel like I need to do it, especially after the close call I had when I got wounded."

Colonel Potter maintained his composure long enough to tell Jamison, "Alright son, I'll tell him to come and see you right away." Once he was outside the Post-Op ward, he moved like a steam roller right toward Father Mulcahy's tent. He banged on the door and within what seemed like half a second, the priest was standing at the open door looking at a very red faced commanding officer.

Potter entered Francis' tent without an invitation and proceeded to cut loose. "There's a boy in Post-Op that's tried to ask you three times to hear his confession. He told me that the last time he tried to get your attention that Pierce was standing at the foot of his bed and you ignored him completely! What in Sam Hill is wrong with you? You have a duty, a sacred obligation to that soldier!"

Mulcahy looked down at his feet, afraid to look the Colonel in the eye. "I'm sorry sir. I'll go see him immediately."

The CO sighed, sounding like air that had been let out of tire. He put his hand on the priest's shoulder and said, "Look, I know that things have been strained between you and Hawkeye, but you can't let it affect your work. You're still a priest and responsible for the welfare of the souls that pass through this camp. If anything like this happens again, I have to put it in your permanent record."

Francis finally looked up at the Colonel and said, "I understand sir. It won't happen again."

"Francis, I'm glad to hear you say that. I have a lot of respect for you and I don't want a black mark against you in your military career."

"Thank you Colonel."

Now that he had talked to the priest, the surgeon was next on Potter's agenda. He found Hawkeye in the Swamp, but he was not alone. Charles was sitting as his desk writing a letter.

"Major, don't you need a cup of coffee right now?"

Winchester didn't look up and continued writing his letter. "No sir. Not really."

The Colonel cleared his throat loudly and the Major looked up. The expression on his commanding officer's face told him that he really did need that cup of coffee after all. "Well sir, on second thought; coffee is a good idea. If you'll excuse me."

After Winchester was gone, Potter turned his attention to Hawkeye, who was sprawled out on his bed reading an old newspaper. "Sit up Pierce. I want to talk to you."

Hawkeye put down the paper and sat up with his arms crossed. He lazily said, "O.K., what's on your mind?"

"Pierce whatever is the problem you and the Padre have, I want it fixed. It's been 40 degrees of frosty between you two since poker night. He avoids you at every turn. I just talked to a patient in Post-Op who's been trying to get Mulcahy's attention so he'll hear the boy's confession. He told me that the priest ignore him the last time because you were standing by his bed. Look, I know how you feel about Lieutenant Jones, but keep it to yourself. You have a job to do and nothing should come before that. Your personal life as well as everyone else in this camp is on hold as long as we're here. If you can't put your feelings aside, it might be best to transfer one of you out of here. Do you understand?"

Hawkeye ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged. "Sure, I understand. Make nice with Mulcahy or else."

His half way nonchalant attitude turned up the burners on Potter's temper. "Look Hawkeye, I'm serious. If you two can't try to get along for the sake of the patients and this unit, one of you is outta here." He got up in the doctor's face and added, "And don't think because you're a damn good surgeon that you're indispensable! You got it?"

Hawkeye sat up a little straighter. The thought of being sent from the hell hole he knew to one he didn't got his attention. He nodded and answered, "I got it Colonel."

"Good!" As he walked out of the Swamp, he thought, "I sure hope so. I'd hate to lose the Padre or my best surgeon."

* * *

The night before she was due to report at Fort McPherson, Hope wanted to make sure her class A uniform was clean and pressed. She emptied the pockets and placed their contents on the nightstand by her bed. Max's handkerchief was stained and wrinkled and the letter from Hawkeye was badly crumpled. Only the rosary that Francis had given her didn't look worse for wear. She rubbed the rosary beads between her fingers. How she missed him! Tommy was right. She should write or call him and find out if they were still a couple. Since she'd been home, Hope had stayed as busy as possible to try to keep her grief over her father's death and concern over the status of her relationship with Francis at bay. She was afraid to contact him because his answer might break her heart and he would tell her it was over between them.

Hope dug around in a dresser drawer until she found some paper and a pen. What would she say to him?

_Dear Francis,_

_I want to know two things. Do you still love me? Do you still want to get married?_

_I love you,_

_Hope_

She wondered to herself, "Should I apologize for trying to…seduce him? No, I can't apologize for something I don't regret. Does that make me an unrepentant sinner? Lord, help me! " Hope decided she would send the letter like she'd written it.

She put the letter in an envelope, addressed it and tucked in the pocket of her uniform. On her way to Fort McPherson the next day, she would mail the letter and the cookies she and her mother had made. The almost unbearable wait for an answer from the man she loved would begin.

_**Wayfaring Stranger **_**is a spiritual/folk song that has its origins in the early 19****th**** century.**

**Things are unresolved between Hope and Francis and the miles that separate them don't help at all!**

**In addition, Hawkeye and Francis aren't having issues. Sure hope they have the good sense to do what Colonel Potter told them to do- get along with each other.**

**Thanks for much for reading. Please review.**

**More to come.**


	63. Chapter 63 Other Men

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 63- OTHER MEN**

**NOTE**- Captain Steven Newsome is a character from M*A*S*H season 6, episode 17 titled "Heal Thyself". Hope Jones, all other personnel at Fort McPherson and of course Anthony MacMillan are characters of my own creation.

* * *

_Three weeks later-_

"I don't know if I can get used to this," the nurse mumbled to herself as she ran her finger around the rim of her coffee cup. The break room was deserted so no one heard Hope talking to herself.

"Excuse me, mind if I join you?" She looked up into the face of tall man wearing glasses. She had seen him around the hospital, but didn't know his name. "I don't mind a bit."

He sat down and introduced himself. "I'm Captain Steve Newsome. And you are…?"

Hope answered, "Lieutenant Hope Jones."

"Well Lieutenant Jones, I couldn't help but overhear what you said about not getting used to something."

She smiled and said, "Yeah, I'm having a tough time getting used to working on a set schedule. I was with a MASH unit in Korea before I transferred here. I mean there was a duty roster, but it was subject to change at a moment's notice when we got incoming wounded. There would be hours, even days of nonstop surgery followed by long stretches of mind numbing boredom."

"I know what you mean," Newsome told her. There was a distant, haunted look in his eyes that Hope noticed immediately. Just when she wondered if he was going to elaborate on what he had just told her, he said, "I served in Korea, too. At the beginning of the war in the Pusan Perimeter."

Hope shuddered inwardly at the thought of providing medical aid there. From all she'd heard and read, it was horrible. The United Nations forces had been pushed back by North Korean troops to the southeastern tip of the Korean Peninsula around the port of Pusan. The casualties had been high.

"You certainly do, Captain," Hope told him. "It makes my time at a MASH unit sound like a Sunday picnic."

"Which unit?" he asked.

"The 4077th," she answered.

A small smile spread across Newsome's face. "I was there for a few days a while back, filling in for two surgeons that had the mumps."

"Who were they?"

" Colonel Potter and Major Winchester."

"Oh my! It's hard to imagine two grown men with the mumps. That means you worked with Hawkeye Pierce and BJ Hunnicutt."

"Yes, they're an interesting pair."

"They certainly are. Did you meet the chaplain, Father Mulcahy?"

"Briefly, I really didn't get a chance to talk to him." The Captain had a vague memory of the chaplain; something to do with Sidney Freeman coming to the unit to see him after he experienced his breakdown.

Hope looked at her watch and realized her break was over. "Captain, it was nice to meet you. I've got to go back on duty now."

"Nice to meet you, too. Call me Steve."

"O.K., if you'll call me Hope."

He smiled at her. "That's a deal. How about a drink at the Officer's Club this evening?"

"Uh, I'm sorry. I can't. I'm engaged."

He looked at her left hand and saw no engagement ring there. Was it an excuse to avoid going out with him?

Hope noticed that Steve was looking at her left hand and she thought it was because of the burn scar. She pulled her hand off the table and put it in her lap.

"Hope, please, I don't mean to offend you, but you're not wearing a ring. I thought you were making an excuse for not going out with me."

So it wasn't the scar after all. "I really am engaged. My fiancée hasn't been able to give me a ring yet." Hope really hadn't thought about an engagement ring. Besides Francis was a priest and had taken a vow of poverty anyway. A ring wouldn't be on his mind. She thought about Captain Newsome's invitation some more. What was wrong for going out with someone for a drink? She was lonely and Francis was across an ocean. It wasn't like Steve had proposed to her.

"Steve, I'll be happy to meet you at the O club tonight. I haven't been there since I got to Fort McPherson. What time?"

"Around seven, right after supper."

"Sounds good. See you then."

* * *

Mail call at the 4077th brought a letter for BJ from Peg. Sitting on his bed in the Swamp, he quickly tore open the envelope and a photograph fell in his lap. He picked it up and smiled. It was a picture of Peg and Hope with Erin's little face sandwiched between theirs. "Hey Hawk, look at what my wife sent me."

Hawkeye sat up and put down the letter from his dad that he'd been reading. Hope was smiling for the camera, but there was a look of sadness in her eyes. His hand hovered over the picture as if it were possible to say a magic spell and pull her out of the picture.

"You wish she was still here, don't you?" BJ asked his friend.

Hawkeye sighed and answered, "Yes." He handed the photo back to BJ. The surgeon thought about what he'd said to Mulcahy the night that the priest hit him in the eye. Yes, he would have made love to Hope if she had asked him. Even though Anthony MacMillan was a SOB, he must have given her a good initiation to the pleasures of physical love. Mulcahy was right. The woman had a passionate nature and if things had gone his way; if she had fallen in love with him instead of the priest, Hawkeye would have taken her to bed without a moment's hesitation.

He shook the thought away, handed the picture back to BJ and asked, "What does Peg have to say in the letter?"

Hunnicutt grinned as he answered, "She says that while the three of them were in coffee shop at the airport, a man with a Polaroid camera asked if he could take their picture. While it developed in front of their eyes Erin called it a "magic picture". And Peg says that Erin took to Hope like she had known her all her life. Well, the rest of the letter is kind of personal. You understand." He was not about to tell his best friend that Hope had asked BJ to show the picture to Francis. He would have to find a time to show it to the priest when Hawkeye wasn't around.

His opportunity came at supper that night. BJ went to the mess tent alone because Hawkeye was in Post-Op checking on a patient. He sat down next to Francis and told him. "Father, I have something that I think will make your day." He pulled the photo out of his pocket and handed it to the priest.

Francis' eyes instantly lit up and a smile spread across his face. BJ noticed the priest's hand hover over the picture just like Hawkeye's had done, as if he could pull Hope out of the picture. "Boy, they've got it bad, "the Californian thought.

"Thanks for showing me the photo," Francis said as he handed it back to the surgeon.

"Why don't you keep it for a while? I have other pictures of Peg and Erin," BJ told him. "Besides, this is the first time I've seen you smile in several weeks."

Mulcahy was overcome with emotion and found it hard to speak for a moment. Finally he said, "Thank you. This means a lot to me." He took one more look before he tucked it in his left shirt pocket. If he couldn't hold Hope against his heart, at least her photograph would be there.

* * *

Hope arrived at the Fort McPherson O club before Steve Newsome. She looked around the place. It was a lot bigger and cleaner than the one at the 4077th. The piano looked nearly new and she bet that it was probably in tune, but there was no Francis Mulcahy or Charles Winchester there to play it. A feeling she could only describe as homesickness washed over her. Was she homesick for the 4077th? No it was the people she missed.

"Hello there, Hope."

She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear Steve Newsome when he walked up behind her. She jumped and stumbled backwards. He grabbed her and led her over to a table. After they sat down he asked her, "Are you alright? I wasn't trying to sneak up on you. I thought you heard me."

Hope felt foolish that she'd had overreacted to a simple "hello". She was sure that the Captain thought her an idiot. "Steve, I'm sorry. My mind was a thousand miles away." She was telling the truth. Her mind was in Korea with Francis and if she was completely honest with herself, Hawkeye was in her thoughts as well.

"That's alright. You must miss your fiancée terribly," he told her.

"Yes, I do. I've been here three weeks and I still feel like I did the day I left Korea. If you don't want to stay, I certainly understand. I'm terrible company right now."

He smiled and patted her hand. "I think I can manage. What would you like to drink?"

"A scotch and water, please."

"One scotch and water coming up."

While he was gone to the bar to get their drinks, Hope thought that maybe she had found a new friend. It would be nice to have someone for companionship and they both knew some of the same people.

Steve returned to the table with two glasses of scotch in hand. He sat down and handed Hope her drink. "It seems we like the same kind of booze."

"Yes, it does. I will warn you that I'm not a heavy drinker. One drink and I'm out like a light. Fun date, huh?"

He chuckled and told her, "With you I won't have to worry about running up a big bar tab."

"True enough."

They sat there quietly for a while until someone turned on the jukebox. "Hope, would you like to dance?"

"Sure."

As they danced, Hope imagined she was dancing with Francis. Without realizing it, she clung to Steve Newsome like he was a life line. When the music stopped, she was still holding on to the Captain but lost in a private world where only she and Francis existed.

"Hope? Hope?"

She shook her head to bring herself back to reality. "Huh? I'm sorry. Guess I was daydreaming again."

"You were definitely someplace else. Your body was here, but you mind was far away."

"I wonder if I'll ever stop doing that; checking out of reality," Hope mused.

Her comment caught him off guard and brought back unpleasant memories of his breakdown in Korea. He hadn't really talked about what happened to him since he'd be reassigned to McPherson. Maybe he and Hope could help each other by simply listening. She was the first person that he had felt like he could open up with. "Hope, if you need to talk, I'm a good listener."

"Thanks Steve, I may take you up on that offer. Maybe, I can do the same for you."

* * *

"Where is it?" Hawkeye asked as he plowed through his tent mate's things. He was in the Swamp alone and had decided to take another look at the photo Peg had sent BJ.

The door to the Swamp creaked open. "Hawkeye, what in the hell are you doing?"

Hawkeye looked up to see his friend glaring at him. "Sorry Beej, I just wanted to look at that photo of Peg, Erin and Hope again."

"Oh boy," BJ thought. "He's going to be plenty upset when I tell him I don't have it anymore. More than that he's not gonna like the fact that I gave it to Father Mulcahy."

"Come on, where's the damn picture?" Hawkeye was insistent.

His friend sighed, "I don't have it anymore."

"Why? Did you lose it?"

"No, I gave it to someone," BJ answered knowing full well that Hawkeye would keep on asking until he found out who had the photo. "I…uh….gave it to Father Mulcahy."

"You what? Why did you do that?" Hawkeye yelled.

"Look Hawk, Peg sent the picture to me, not you. And besides…. Hope asked that I share it with Father Mulcahy," Hunnicutt told him.

Hawkeye winced as if someone had stabbed him in the heart and muttered, "Oh." He lay down on his bed and turned away from his friend. He had no reason to be angry with BJ. His friend had only honored Hope's request. The Chief Surgeon clutched at the quilt she had given him. He felt sick, love sick. How stupid could he be? Why couldn't he just let go of his feelings for her? The memory of the way she had thrown herself into his arms on the road the day she left Korea was the reason. He was sure that Hope felt something for him, if only just a faint spark.

* * *

Francis sat on the edge of his bed holding the photo in his hand. He had no idea how long he'd been looking at it. "Oh my love, I miss you so much! " Tears rolled down his cheeks as he remembered his last night with Hope. Why didn't he put his conscience on the shelf and make love to her? Suppose they never saw each other again. Suddenly he realized what hell really was; it was regret.

Another thought came to mind. Suppose she gave up on their relationship and turned to someone else? Hawkeye was the first person he thought of, but the man was stuck in Korea just like he was. What about someone she might meet at Fort McPherson? Or possible Anthony MacMillan? No, Hope wasn't that foolish. The man had hurt her badly. Surely she had the good sense not to go back for more abuse from him!

The priest did the only thing he knew to do at the time. He prayed. "Dear Lord, please watch over Hope and guide her. I want so much to make her my wife. I'm sorry if I have violated my priestly vows but I love her and can't help myself. I'm still a man after all. Amen."

* * *

"Would you look at him? He looks like Gregory Peck. He's gorgeous!" The nurse sitting next to Hope tapped her on the shoulder.

Hope looked up to see Anthony MacMillan on the other side of the hall talking to an older man. "Oh god no!"

"What's wrong?" the nurse asked Hope.

"Cindy, I was hoping I'd never seen that S.O.B. again," Hope told her.

"Why?"

Hope didn't want to explain to Cindy why she felt that way about Anthony. "What I just called him says it all. I really don't want to talk about him. It makes me nauseous."

With a raised eyebrow, the other nurse told her, "O.K. Hope if that's the way you want it."

"Yes Cindy, that's the way I want it." Hope held her breath, mentally willing him not to see her. Too late! He had seen her and was standing in front of the nurses' station.

Anthony flashed a charming smile. It was all teeth; like shark's teeth in her mind. "Well hello Hope! What a pleasant surprise. How long have you been at Fort McPherson?"

She did not return his smile and in as civil a tone as she could manage, she responded, "Hello, I've been here three weeks." Hope didn't ask him why he was there. She really didn't care. She just wished he'd disappear.

Seeing he was getting nowhere with her, he turned his attentions to Cindy. "Hope, who's your co-worker?"

Cindy answered him, "Hi, I'm Cindy Johnson." They shook hands and Anthony held hers for a few seconds before letting go.

"How is your wife, Cathy?" Hope asked him. She wasn't going to let him try anything with Cindy if she could help it.

Anthony could have caught flies, his mouth gaped open wide. He recovered enough to stammer, "Fine, just fine. Well, it's been good to see you again, Hope. Bye." He shot off like a rocket across the hall back to the older man who was waiting on him and they both got on the elevator.

"See what I mean?" Hope asked Cindy. "He is not to be trusted."

"Yes, I guess you're right," the other nurse responded with disappointment in her voice. "But he sure is good looking."

"Looks aren't everything. A man with a good heart is a lot more important," Hope told her, thinking of both Francis and Hawkeye. She felt sure she loved Francis enough to marry him, but why was Hawkeye on her mind, too? One good man was a blessing; two muddied the waters of certainty.

* * *

It was a week before another mail call at the 4077th. The letter from Hope that Francis had been anticipating finally came. He took it back to his tent so he could be alone when he read it. It took less than thirty seconds to read. She had not told him anything about her new posting, only the questions that were foremost on her mind- Did he love her? Did he still want to marry her? The answer to both questions was a resounding "yes!"

He didn't hesitate to write a reply-

_Dearest Love,_

_I could fill this letter with a lot of unimportant things before I answered your questions, but I won't do that. The answer is yes and yes!_

_I regret that I didn't do what you wanted me to do the last night you were here, but at the same time I felt not only responsible for the spiritual welfare of myself, but for you as well. To commit a sin is bad enough, but to lead someone else to sin is worse. Right now I'm still a priest and I have an obligation to uphold those promises I made when I took holy orders to be responsible for other's spiritual welfare. I hope you can understand._

_I love you very much and nothing will change that._

_God be with you._

_All My Love,_

_Francis_

Hawkeye was disappointed not to receive any mail. He longed to hear from Hope. Well if he wrote to her, maybe she would write back. He found his stationary and sat on the edge of his bed while he composed his letter to her-

_Dear Hope,_

_Last week BJ got a letter from home. He showed me the photo of you with Peg and Erin. Your lips are smiling, but your eyes tell another story._

_What is that story? Write and tell me everything you're feeling. I want to know._

_I can tell you my story without hesitation. This place is not the same since you left. I miss you so much!_

_When you met me on the road the day you left, I was surprised at the way you threw yourself in my arms. Did it mean something to you? It did to me. I'm holding on to a glimmer of hope that somewhere deep down inside you really love me._

_I know we're an ocean apart, but I want to know. Please write back and tell me how you feel._

_I love you, Hope._

_Hawkeye_

The office was empty when he got there. As he put his letter in the outbox, Hawkeye saw that Francis had written a letter to Hope. The temptation to take Mulcahy's letter and toss it in the trash was overwhelming and he would have done it if Klinger hadn't walked in. He quickly moved away from the company clerk's desk and stammered, "Just…putting a letter out to mail."

"I see," Klinger told him. "You're sending a letter to Hope, too. Father Mulcahy dropped off a letter for her about an hour ago."

"Yeah, I saw it in before I put mine on top of it," Hawkeye told him. The surgeon had almost been able to sabotage the priest's letter to Hope. The man must have someone upstairs looking out for him.

**Other men have come into Hope's life since she has come back home; Captain Newsome who is new and Anthony who she knows all too well. However, the men on her mind are in Korea.**

**How will she respond to Francis and Hawkeye's letters?**

**More to come.**

** Thanks so much for reading! **


	64. Chapter 64- 48 Hours in April

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 64- 48 HOURS IN APRIL**

**DISCLAIMER- ** Steve Newsome and the other characters from M*A*S*H are someone else's creation. Hope, her mother, Martha and her cousin, Tommy are mine.

* * *

_Friday, April 24, 1953_

Finally, after a month at her new post, Hope got a weekend pass. Tommy picked her up at Fort McPherson's main gate on Friday evening and she was sleeping in her old bedroom later that night.

_Saturday, April 25, 1953_

On Saturday morning, she resisted the urge to sleep in because there was so much to do in the 48 free hours that the Army had given her. Her mother needed help going through her dad's things and deciding what to do with them. It was going to be difficult, but it needed to be done. Besides that difficult task, Hope wanted to talk to her mother about Francis.

The two women started on the task right after breakfast. First, they went through his clothes. Most they earmarked to give away. When Hope pulled her dad's old brown corduroy bathrobe out of the closet, her mother asked her why she would want to keep it. Hope hugged the robe and then buried her face in it. "Mama, a lot my childhood memories are connected with this bathrobe. I remember sitting in Daddy's lap at breakfast snuggled against it while he read the newspaper and drank his coffee. It reminds me of how secure I felt then." For some reason, it also made her feel connected to Hawkeye. Perhaps it reminded her of the bathrobe he wore and how safe she felt when she slept in his arms. Hope shook her head in an effort to bring her mind back to the present in Georgia and away from the past in Korea.

After the clothes came other things; like her dad's golf clubs. Tommy would get them. All the books that Reverend Jones had accumulated during his ministry were next on the agenda. Hope chose a much used Bible with many notes written in the margins and a hymnal to keep. By lunch time the two women had just about finished their task.

Hope and her mother went out on the back porch to sit in the sun and eat lunch. She decided it was time to tell her mother about Francis. "Mama, you remember that night we made the cookies and I promised you that I would talk to you about things that happened to me in Korea?"

"Yes."

"A lot happened and there's so much I want to share with you. I want to tell you the most important thing first." Hope paused for a moment before she continued. "I fell in love with someone in my unit and he has asked me to marry him. We plan on getting married after the war is over."

Martha smiled for the first time in a month or more. Although Edward was gone, Hope's news helped her to realize that life continued on and she was still there to share it with her daughter. She smiled and said, "Well tell me about this man."

Hope felt a wave of longing wash over her. How she missed Francis Mulcahy! She closed her eyes and made of mental picture of his face before she continued. "Let's see. He's blond, blue eyed with the sweetest smile you'd ever want to see. He has a lovely tenor voice. He's kind and gentle for the most part, but when he gets angry, his face turns bright red and you better watch out!" She could help but smile at that thought.

"How old is he? Where is he from? What about his family? And there's one important detail you left out."

"What's that?"

Martha Jones chuckled and answered, "His name. What is the man's name?"

"Oh yeah, that's important alright. It's Francis John Patrick Mulcahy."

"Irish?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Catholic?"

Hope nodded "yes" and asked her mother, "Is that a problem for you?"

"No honey, I just wondered. I guess he knows that your dad was a Protestant minister."

"Yes, it was one of the very first things I told him about me and my family."

"Is he a doctor?"

"No, he's not. He's a chaplain."

Martha took in this information and then asked, "Hope is Francis a priest?"

"Yes, he is."

"But Catholic priests take a vow of celibacy. They aren't permitted to marry. I'm confused."

"He is going to give up holy orders when he returns to the States so we can marry. And Mama, I intend on becoming a Catholic so we can raise our children in the faith."

"Hope, that's a big decision to make. Are you sure about it? Suppose he changes his mind about getting married. I don't want to see you get hurt again."

"What do you mean- "get hurt again"?"

"I mean Anthony MacMIllan," her mother told her.

Hope had never told her mother about her affair with Anthony. "Mama, what do you know about me and Anthony?"

"Everything."

"Who told you? "

"He did."

Hope exploded, "What? When? Why would he do that?"

"Right after you joined the Army. He came looking for you and I told him you had joined up. He told me and your daddy that he knew why."

"Why would he do that?"

"I think he wanted you back and was angry that you were gone. The man is selfish and arrogant. He can be cruel when he doesn't get his way," Martha Jones observed.

"Tell me about it! But he got married. Why would he want me back?"

"I think he wanted to have a little "something on the side". He married Cathy for money. He wanted you for…"

"Sex. It sure wasn't for love," Hope told her. "The man doesn't know the meaning of the word, love. I want to know something. Mama, do you think him telling you and Daddy about our affair had anything to do with Daddy's heart attack?"

Martha Jones shrugged, "There's no way to know for sure, but I suspect that it did."

Fury raged in Hope's soul. How she hated Anthony! She was taught that Christians were supposed to forgive. She might find a way to forgive Anthony for what he did to her. But never for what he did to her father!

* * *

When Klinger saw the large package from Hope in the mail, he let out a loud "yahoo!" that brought Colonel Potter running out of his office. "What is it Klinger? Is the war over?"

"No sir, but it's something pretty special." The company clerk showed the package to his commanding officer. "See the return address."

Potter read it out loud and smiled, "Lieutenant Hope J. Jones, General Hospital No. 6, Fort McPherson, Georgia." He tapped on top of the package. "Come on and open it up, Klinger."

Max opened the box to reveal three tins of cookies and a note from Hope saying that the cookies were for everyone at the 4077th. "Colonel it looks like we hit the jackpot! "

"Yep, it does. I'm going to put two of those tins in the safe. You can give out the cookies while you distribute the mail."

"Sure thing sir." Klinger gave Potter two of the tins for safe keeping. He opened the other one and took out two cookies and carefully placed them on a piece of typing paper on his desk. "You better guard these with your life sir," he joked.

The Colonel smiled and answered, "Yes, you're right. Wouldn't want any cookie rustlers to get 'em, would we?"

Klinger went out to the middle of the compound with the mail bag was almost instantly surround by personnel eagerly awaiting a letter or package from home. Once he had passed out all the mail, the crowd started to disperse. He called out, "Hold on a minute folks. A package came in the mail that all of you might be interested in." He pulled the cookie tin from the bottom of the mail bag. "Lieutenant Jones has sent us some cookies. As per Colonel Potter's orders, one per customer. Be nice, no stampeding the company clerk!"

Father Mulcahy had been in the Post-Op ward visiting with a patient during mail call and walked outside just as the last cookie had been taken. He walked up to Klinger and asked, "What's in the tin?"

Max looked sadly at the empty tin and told him, "Cookies, uh I mean there were cookies. Somebody just took the last one. Lieutenant Jones sent them."

"Oh," Mulcahy responded with disappointment in his voice.

"Come on Father, I know where there's more," Klinger whispered. "Colonel Potter locked up the other two tins she sent in the safe."

The two men entered Colonel Potter's office to see him enjoying one of the cookies that Hope had sent. He looked up and motioned them over to this desk. "Klinger did you pass out the cookies?"

"Yes, sir," Max told him. "But Father Mulcahy missed out on getting one."

Colonel Potter went over to the safe and pulled out a tin of cookies. "Well Padre, we can't let you miss out on that." He smiled as he handed a cookie to Father Mulcahy. "Guess you would have a special interest in the Lieutenant's baking skills."

It took a few seconds for the priest to catch on to what the Colonel was hinting at. He grinned and responded, "Yes, I suppose I do. I hope I'll be eating the fruits of her labors on a regular basis one day."

Francis couldn't help but wonder when that someday would be. There were rumors floating around that the peace talks at Panmunjom were going to start up again. He prayed that they would start up once more and the war would soon come to an end.

* * *

_Sunday, April 26, 1953_

Hope rolled over and opened one eye to look at the clock on her nightstand. She immediately jumped out of bed. It was ten o'clock in the morning! She hadn't intended on sleeping so late. Everyone else in the house would already be up and on their way to the Sunday morning church service.

She walked down the stairs and through the empty living room to the kitchen. There was still some warm coffee in the percolator on the back burner of the stove. The Sunday newspaper lay on the table. Hope poured a cup of coffee and sat down to read the paper. The headline on the front page immediately caught her eye- _Peace Talks Resume at Panmunjom. _She wasn't in church, but it didn't stop her from praying. _"Lord, please let the peace talks work this time. Let the war be over soon! Please bring Francis home to me. You know I love him. Amen."_

After a long hot shower, Hope got dressed and went back down stairs. She wondered what her mother had planned for lunch. A few minutes of searching around in the kitchen yielded a chicken and some fresh green beans from the refrigerator and potatoes from the pantry. She decided the lunch menu would be fried chicken, green beans and mashed potatoes.

While working in the kitchen, Hope thought about the awful meals she'd eaten in the mess tent at the 4077th and suddenly felt ashamed as she recalled her flippant remarks to Francis and Charles that she would be eating well once she was home. Yes, although she was still on active duty, Hope was home and they were not. Her appetite vanished. She would finish making the meal for her family, but she couldn't bring herself to eat it.

* * *

BJ brushed cookie crumbs off his mustache. "Mmm…that was good. Wish I had another one. Hey Hawk, did you get one of Hope's cookies?"

The Chief Surgeon shook his head and answered, "No, I didn't. I was in Post-Op during mail call." He felt disappointed and a little annoyed. Over missing out on a lousy cookie? What was wrong with him? It wasn't the cookie; it was the fact that Hope had sent them.

"I bet you anything she sent more than one tin of the things," his friend told him. "You remember the time when Hope got cookies from home and Colonel Potter put some of them in his safe? Maybe you could talk him into giving you one."

Hawkeye's face lit up like a little boy's and he made a dash to Colonel Potter's office. Before he entered the CO's office, he heard a bit of the conversation between Potter and Father Mulcahy.

"Yep, you might get a little thick around the middle Padre when you get married if the Lieutenant's cooking is as good as her baking."

"You're right Colonel," Mulcahy chuckled and patted his stomach. "I'll have to watch my weight."

As Hawkeye stood on the other side of the door, he felt a wave of jealousy go through him. He turned and left the office. The simple daily task of Hope making meals for a husband wouldn't be for him, ever. His stupid heart, why did it punish him so?

* * *

When Tommy, Martha and Hope's sisters returned from church, they were delighted to find that lunch was ready for them. He cousin grinned and hugged Hope's neck. "Well cousin, I guess this makes up for you missing church service! I mean it does with me. Don't know how the Lord feels about it."

"I hope y'all enjoy lunch," she told them as she walked outside to sit on the front porch swing. Tommy followed her and sat down on the swing with her. "Hope, what's wrong. Why aren't you eating?"

She turned to face him, with tears in her eyes. "I can't. I just can't."

"I don't understand. What's wrong?"

"Tommy, it's hard to explain. I'm home with all kinds of good things available to me whenever I want them. The people I left in Korea don't have those things. It's not fair. I just want the damned war to be over! I shouldn't have left them."

"Hope, it wouldn't make much difference if you were still there or not. There's no reason to feel guilty about being home."

"Tommy, I just realized something. This is just where I'm from. My home, my heart is with Francis Mulcahy and he's still in Korea."

"Someone at church this morning said he read in the newspaper that the peace talks have started up again. Maybe you won't have to wait long for you and Francis to be together again."

Hope put her head on her cousin's shoulder and sighed, "That's what I prayed for this morning. Maybe the Lord will honor my prayer even though I wasn't at church."

Tommy patted her shoulder and said, "I'm sure the Lord will when the time is right. Besides, a lot more people pray outside of a church than they do inside of one."

* * *

It was after seven that evening before Tommy brought Hope to the main gate at Fort McPherson. She showed her id to the guard on duty and he told her, "Lieutenant Jones, I was instructed to tell you to go straight to the hospital. You're needed to assist in emergency surgery."

"Thank you, corporal. I'm on my way," she told him.

As Tommy drove towards the hospital, Hope wondered what kind of emergency surgery would be needed on a base hospital. Where were the other nurses? At the hospital, she hopped out of her cousin's truck and ran inside. She scrubbed, put on a surgical cap and gown, and went into the OR.

When Hope entered the operating room she saw that the surgeon was Steve Newsome. "Hey Steve, what's going on? I was told by the guard at the main gate to get over to the hospital double quick. Where are all the other nurses and surgeons?"

"Down with food poisoning. You and I were lucky enough to have missed supper in the mess hall on Friday evening," he told her.

"Thank the Lord I had a weekend pass. I went home," Hope responded.

"Where is home? It can't be too far from here."

"About fifty miles east of Atlanta," she told him. Hope turned her attention to the patient. He couldn't have been more than 18 years old. Beside numerous facial lacerations, he had a broken arm and a ruptured spleen. "What was this kid doing? It looks like he was wounded in combat."

"Ran a jeep up a light pole," Newsome told her. "He says he got distracted by rabbit that ran out in the road."

Hope shook her head. "A rabbit running out in front of a jeep was the least of our worries in Korea. It was snipers and enormous potholes we had to worry about. I was in a jeep accident the first week I was at the 4077th. Broke my right ankle. No one in the unit would let me drive after that."

"Were you driving too fast?"

"Yes and I was distracted," she answered, hoping he wouldn't ask her for details. Her mind wandered to the night of the accident; the first night she had been alone with Francis. It had happened a few short months before, but now it seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Lieutenant? Hope?" Steve tried to get her attention.

She looked up at him and said, "I'm sorry, my mind wandered back to the night of the accident. I shouldn't have done that."

He smiled and told her, "It's alright. Just keep your mind on the OR track for now. No running off the road, so to speak."

"O.K," Hope chuckled. Steve Newsome made her feel like she was back at the 4077th with BJ and Hawkeye. How she missed them!

Captain Newsome found that he was wishing Hope wasn't engaged. He wondered how strongly she felt about her fiancée. Time and distance often had a way of breaking couples apart. He decided he would bide his time and see what unfolded in the next few months. The peace talks were on again, but who knew if anything would come of them this time around?

It was about 10:30 when the surgery on the corporal was completed. Hope was past ready to fall into bed and sleep. She quickly took off her surgical gown and cap and threw them in the laundry bin. "Good night Steve, you do good work. It was a pleasure to assist you."

"May I walk you to your quarters?" he asked her.

"Oh, I don't know…" She ran her fingers through her hair and let her hand flop down by her side. "Sure, why not?"

In a few minutes they were standing in front of Hope's quarters. As she reached for the door knob, Steve placed his hand over her hand. She looked up at him, unsure of how to react. What was he up to?

Hope gently pulled her hand away and said, "Thanks for walking me to my quarters. Good night, Steve."

There was an awkward moment before he said, "Good night, Hope. See you later."

She watched him walk away and then went inside. Hope kicked off her shoes, sat down on the edge of the bed and picked up two letters someone had placed there. She put them in her lap to read after she pondered what Steve had just done. "What was that all about? Did I do something to encourage him? What does he want?" All she wanted was Francis, life was complicated enough without another man in the romance department! If Steve would just be her friend like Charles Winchester had been while she was in Korea; that would be just fine!

Hope turned her attention to the letters; one from Francis and one from Hawkeye. Of course, she would read Francis' letter first. Her heart leapt at the words she read. Yes he still loved her and wanted to marry her! She was moved to tears by his explanation for not making love to her the night before she left Korea. If she had any doubt about his love for her, this removed it from her mind. "Come home soon Francis. I need you!" she whispered.

Apprehension overtook her as she opened the letter from Hawkeye. Hope knew what he would say before she read it. "What was her story?" he asked her. She knew "his story". He was still in love with her. If she loved Francis deeply, why did Hawkeye trouble her so? Doubt gently tapped her on the shoulder and crept into her mind. She put the letter aside and lay down to fall into a troubled sleep.

**The peace talks have started up again. Maybe the war will be over soon! Meanwhile, life gets a little bit more complicated for Hope. Steve Newsome seems to be interested in her and Hawkeye is not ready to give up yet. No wonder she wants Francis to come home!**

**Thanks for reading. Reviews are appreciated!**


	65. Chapter 65 May 1953

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 65- MAY 1953**

**Disclaimer- **It has been said many times before, but it bears repeating- The M*A*S*H characters are not mine. However, Hope and Faith Jones are definitely my creation .

* * *

It was discouraging to prepare a sermon that no one would come and listen to, yet Francis Mulcahy did it faithfully every week. As he sat at his desk with his Bible open, pen in hand and a blank sheet of paper, he prayed for a little inspiration. His mind began to wander, far away from a sermon to the future; his future with Hope. For one thing, there would be no more sermon writing because he would no longer be a priest. He knew he was not a great speaker and it would be a relief to be free of that burden. That led to another thought. Did he consider serving the Lord as a priest a burden? Was he running away from his calling by leaving the priesthood to marry her? If she wasn't meant for him, why were they brought together? If they weren't both in the Army and sent to Korea, there was one chance in a million that they would have ever met.

Francis corralled his mind with a little prayer. _"Lord, please help me write this sermon, even if no one comes to hear me preach it. Amen."_ He began to read the Bible and take notes about the passage he had just read. The sermon started to flow. He was thankful that sometimes the Lord didn't beat around the bush when it came to answering a prayer! A good productive hour was granted him before someone knocked on the door of his tent.

"Who is it?" he called out.

"It's Max. Father, I got mail for you.

"Come in," the priest told him.

Klinger entered the tent and handed Francis two letters; one from his sister and one from Hope. "Thanks Max. I've hit the jackpot. Two letters!"

Max smiled, "Yeah, especially since you got two letters from women. Wonder which one you'll open first?"

Francis rolled his eyes and said, "You already know the answer to that. As much as I love my sister, well…uh…"

"Say no more Father, I understand. Enjoy!" The company clerk left him to read his letters in private.

He tore open the envelope containing the letter from

_Dear Francis,_

_My heart leapt when I received your letter telling me that you still loved me and wanted to marry me. When I left Korea, uncertainty about us nagged at me. The many thousand miles separating us seeming even greater until I read those words from you! Now I have the comfort of knowing we'll be together one day. Maybe it will be soon now that the peace talks have started up again._

_I am keeping my promise to you about receiving instruction in the Catholic faith. The chaplain here, Father Alvarez, has been most kind and helpful in answering my questions. When he asked me the reason for my interest, I told him that my fiancée is Catholic. I'm thankful he hasn't asked me anything about you. I hesitated to tell him anything since he is a chaplain after all and he might know you. As my grandmother tells me "tell the truth, but don't fill in all the blanks"!_

_Every minute of every day, I think of you and pray for you. Not just you, but everyone at the 4077__th__. I may be back in the States, but my heart, my true home is with you my darling._

_All My Love,_

_Hope_

He folded up the letter and placed it back in the envelope. The tears in his eyes made it difficult to read the letter from his sister. He would save it for later.

* * *

Francis Mulcahy was not the only one to receive letters from two women; Charles Winchester had one from his sister, Honoria and one from Hope. He decided to read his sister's letter first.

_Dear Charles,_

_It is with great delight that I write to you to tell you of meeting, well I should say talking to your friend, Lieutenant Jones. When she called me our butler gave her quite a hard time. He told her that "Master Charles" knew no one that sounded like she did and what was the purpose of her call?" She responded with "Listen_ _Bubba, Major Winchester and I worked together in Korea. He asked me to call his sister. Do you want me to place a call to the Major telling him that you won't let me speak to Honoria? I'm sure he would love to hear your explanation for being rude to one of his colleagues."_

_He finally relented and let her speak to me after I had picked up the extension in the music room and told him I was listening. It took a minute or two for Hope and me to stop laughing before we could speak. We had a wonderful conversation, mostly about you. For a few brief minutes, I felt as if you were here with me at home. I do so appreciate you asking her to call me._

_My dearest brother, I hope and pray that it won't be long before we'll be strolling in the Public Gardens together and enjoying the symphony concerts as we used to. I miss you so much!_

_Love,_

_Honoria_

"Well Charles, what's got you grinning like a Cheshire cat? Did one of your investments pay off big?"

The Major looked up to see Hawkeye standing over him. "No Pierce, I just received an amusing letter from my sister. It involves a phone conversation she had with Hope." He pointed at the Chief Surgeon's bed and told him, "It looks like you have a letter as well. Don't you want to see who it's from?"

Hawkeye flopped down on his bed and grabbed his letter. His shoulders sagged with disappointment when he saw it was from his dad. Normally he was delighted to get a letter from him, but he what he really wanted was one from Hope. He tore open the envelope, pulled out the letter and started reading-

_Dear Son,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. Speaking of hope, well I mean hope with a capital "H", she called me recently. The "one" as you called her in one of your letters. We talked about you for a few minutes. I sensed a fondness for you, but not passion. Please don't hang on to your feelings for her if they're not reciprocated. It would be best to let go and move on. Hawkeye, you're young and so much more of life is ahead for you. Please don't stay "stuck" longing for something that can never be._

_You can't change the world, only yourself._

_Love,_

_Dad_

Hawkeye tossed the letter on the bed and sighed.

"Everything alright, Pierce?" Charles asked.

"Oh yeah, just fine and dandy," Hawkeye answered as he walked out of the Swamp, letting the door slam loudly.

* * *

The worst thing about working the night shift was the quiet. Unless an emergency arose, there wasn't much to do except check on patients periodically and update paperwork. Hope found that there was time, too much time to think. Of course, Francis was foremost in her thoughts, a close second was Hawkeye and the rest of the folks at the 4077th, the peace talks and last but certainly no less troubling- Captain Steve Newsome's intentions toward her.

She shook her head at the idea that had just come to her. Never in her life had she thought about playing matchmaker. Why now? If Steve weren't really a nice man, she wouldn't dare contemplate introducing him to her sister, Faith. The next time she was able to get a weekend pass, Hope would invite him to come along with her to Between to meet her family.

The opportunity for the invitation came at the end of her shift when Steve approached the nurse's station. "Hello Hope, just getting off work?" he asked her.

She looked up at the surgeon and saw a gleam in his eye. Boy she definitely needed to redirect that gleam toward someone else! "Yes," she yawned. "Sorry, it was a long, boring night. Do you have time for a cup of coffee before you start work?"

He smiled and answered, "I suppose I can squeeze one in."

Once they were seated in the break room with coffee in hand, Hope didn't hesitate to make her invitation for him to visit her family. "Steve, I was wondering if you would care to come along with me the next time I go home to visit my family for the weekend?"

His eyes lit up. "Why that sounds wonderful. Just say when and I'll arrange to get a weekend pass so I can go with you."

"O.K., that's a plan," Hope told him. She yawned and looked at her watch, " I need to go get some shut eye. See you later." She hoped that this little plan of hers didn't backfire on her.

As he watched the nurse walk away, Steve couldn't help but smile. She seemed to be interested in him after all. If not, why would she invite him to visit her home?

* * *

BJ smiled when he saw the letter he'd received was from his daughter, even though her mother had addressed the envelope for her. It really wasn't a letter; it was a picture of one woman with yellow hair and one woman with brown hair with a little girl standing between them holding their hands. A note from Peg was included-

_Dearest BJ, _

_Erin just had to send you her own version of the "magic" picture. She talks about Hope a lot and wants to know when you'll come home like she did. The only thing I can tell her my darling is "soon". I pray I'm telling her the truth. Please never forget that we'll be here waiting for you when you come home._

_All My Love,_

_Peg_

He put the picture down on the bar and picked up his beer to take a drink. Someone sat down beside him, tapped a finger on the picture and asked, "Is she all anyone can write about in their letters?"

BJ looked into the face of Hawkeye and responded, "What do you mean?"

"Hope, Hope. Charles' letter from Honoria is about her. My own Father writes about her. Isn't there any other subject in the world worth writing about?"

Colonel Potter entered the O club with a piece of paper in his hand and joined the two surgeons at the bar. "Mildred says in her letter that…"

Hawkeye held up his hand and sighed, "Don't tell me. Hope called her, too."

"Well yes Pierce, she did. The Lieutenant was only keeping her promise to get in touch with our families when she got back to the States. What's the matter with you?"

The Chief Surgeon drained his glass of whiskey and slammed it down on the bar. "Nothing, nothing at all." He walked across the O club and sat alone at a table in the far back corner.

"He's gotten grumpier since the Lieutenant's been gone," Potter told BJ.

"Tell me about it! I have to share a tent with him," BJ responded. "She's gone, but she's still here. By the way, have we gotten a replacement for her?"

"No, not yet," his CO told him. "Are you worried about a shortage in our nursing staff or hoping a new nurse will be a distraction for our Chief Surgeon?"

"Honestly Colonel, I must say the latter," Hunnicutt answered.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I wish Lieutenant Jones would write him a letter and tell him to move on. Maybe I should get Klinger to call her about it."

"Colonel, you would do that for the good of the unit?" BJ asked.

"I'm tempted, if it would get the old Hawkeye back," Potter told him.

Francis was walking on air. Hope's letter had lifted the burden of uncertainty in his mind. He could look forward to a future with her as his wife. This knowledge made waiting for the war to be over more bearable. He came into the O club and sat down at the bar next to Colonel Potter.

"Well Padre, it's good to see a smile on your face for a change. Did you get good news from home?"

The priest's blue eyes shone brightly as he nodded and answered, "Yes sir, very good news."

Potter patted Francis on the back and said, "I'm glad to hear that. My missus said in her letter that Hope called her and that she sure talked about you a lot. It's good to know that you've got someone at home waiting for you, isn't it?"

"Yes indeed. It's comforting to know that. Now I can understand what a blessing having a special woman in your life can be," he told both the Colonel and BJ. Both men gave him a knowing smile.

"Glad to see someone's happy in this hell hole," Hawkeye muttered as he passed by the three men on his way out of the O club.

"Hold on a minute Hawkeye," Francis called after him as he followed the surgeon outside.

Hawkeye stopped and turned around, "What do you want Mulcahy?"

"I'm worried about you Hawkeye. I've never seen you so miserable before. Is there anything I can do to help you? I ask you as a friend and the camp chaplain," Francis told him.

"You may be the camp chaplain, but you're no friend of mine!"

"Why do you say that?'

"Come on! You're not that stupid. You know why," Hawkeye told him; sarcasm evident in his voice. "You have what I want."

Anger rose from deep within Francis and he worked mightily to control himself. "It's not a "what" Hawkeye. Hope is a living, breathing woman. She fell in love with me. I didn't play a game to win her. She's not first prize at the county fair! Wallowing in misery isn't going to change the fact that she is going to be my wife. Let go. You're hurting yourself most of all."

"Just go away and leave me alone! Go preach to someone else!" Hawkeye yelled at him and walked away.

The joy that Francis felt began to ebb away. He had lost a good friend and there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

Two weeks later on Friday evening, Steve Newsome and Hope were on their way to Between. He had a car of his own and offered to drive them there. She would have preferred that Tommy pick them up, but she didn't feel she could refuse Steve's offer of transportation. To cover up the anxiety she felt, Hope talked about her family, giving particular emphasis on her sister Faith. She hoped it didn't sound like a sales pitch, but she really wanted him to like her sister.

"Faith is a couple of years older than me. She teaches elementary school, second grade I believe. She's the brains of the family. She's also a talented musician and plays the flute and the violin. My younger sister, Charity, is the beauty. She just graduated from high school and will start college in the fall."

Steve chuckled, "Hmm…Faith, Hope and Charity. Comes from a bible verse, doesn't it?"

"Yes, my dad's favorite as a matter of fact," Hope answered, suddenly feeling a sob rise in her throat reminding her that his passing was only two months before.

"Hope, are you alright? Did I say something to upset you?"

"No you didn't, it's just the fact that my dad passed away recently. Right before I was transferred to Fort McPherson," Hope told him.

"I'm sorry. You didn't tell me about him when we met." Steve was having a difficult time not putting his arm around Hope to comfort her. She felt good to hold. He knew that from his memory of them dancing together at the Fort McPherson Officer's Club.

"I find it difficult to talk about my dad. I miss him so much." Hope brushed tears off her cheeks.

He placed his hand on her shoulder and said, "I understand." He was pleased that she didn't pull away.

When Steve pulled the car into the driveway of the Jones home in Between, Hope was out in a flash and knocking on the front door before he had shut off the engine. He had to scramble to get out of the car and stand beside her before someone opened the door. When Faith opened the front door, Hope pounced on her and hugged her tight. "Faith!"

Puzzled by her sister's sudden bear hug, Faith stammered, "Hi Hope. I'm glad you're home." Then she looked into the face of the tall surgeon, extended her right hand and said, "Hello, I'm Faith, Hope's older sister."

Steve reached out, took Faith's hand and shook it. "Hi Faith, I'm Steve." He held it for a few seconds longer before letting go. Hope noticed this and smiled. Maybe her plan would work after all.

"Why did you bring Steve Newsome with you this weekend? Besides, Mama told me you were engaged to someone still serving in Korea." Faith asked her sister as they were getting ready for bed. Hope was sharing her sister's room since she had given Steve her room for the weekend.

"He's a nice man and I thought he would enjoy some home cooked food for a change. We're friends, that's all," Hope told her.

"I see."

"Faith, you sound like you don't believe me."

"Let's face it sis, he's here and your fiancée is across the ocean." Faith's green eyes danced as she asked her sister," Or, do you have something else up your sleeve?"

Now Faith had put her on the spot! "Look, like I said, he's a nice guy. I just thought he would like sometime away from the base. I'm tired. Let's go to sleep." Hope didn't want to tell her sister the real reason for bringing Steve Newsome home.

* * *

Watching couples stroll across the compound hand in hand filled Francis with longing. How he missed the touch of Hope's hand! He thought he had learned not to take simple things for granted; clean sheets, solid walls, decent food, since he'd been in Korea. Hope's absence brought a new lesson. Cherish the time spent with loved ones! Memory was all he had now; her soft skin, deep green eyes, full lips and her small, round breasts. He felt his face flush and the heat of desire race through him. The priest walked on absent mindedly and ran smack into Hawkeye.

"Hey, watch it! Are you blind?" the surgeon yelled.

"I'm sorry Hawkeye. I didn't do it on purpose," Francis responded softly. "I guess my mind was someplace else."

"Yeah, I bet I know where," Hawkeye snapped. He stood there like statue.

Francis decided it would be best to get as far away from Hawkeye as possible. "Excuse me, I'll be on my way now, if you don't mind."

Hawkeye made no response, he just continued standing there, blocking Francis' path. The priest turned and was about to walk away from the surgeon when Hawkeye grabbed his arm.

He turned around and in as a calm as manner as he could manage, Francis told the surgeon, "Let go of me. I didn't mean to bump into you." The priest's hands were clinched into fists. He would defend himself if need be, but he didn't want it to come to blows. "Hawkeye, do you remember what Colonel Potter told both of us?"

Hawkeye blinked as if coming out of a trance. The reminder of the Colonel's threat of a transfer or disciplinary action got his attention. He let go of the priest's arm and walked away toward the Swamp.

Francis wondered if he should request a transfer. The tension between the two men was getting worse and not likely to lessen anytime soon.

* * *

Hope simply couldn't sleep. Instead of tossing and turning and disturbing her sister's sleep, she went down to the kitchen and made a cup of tea. She didn't dare turn on the radio for fear of waking up the whole household, so for the longest time she sat at the table, drinking her tea and listening to the steady tick-tock of the clock that hung over the stove. Finally, she went to the living room and found the previous day's newspaper and took it back to the kitchen to read. Of course, she went directly to news concerning the war in Korea. Nothing else really mattered to her. It was late May. There was a lull in the Battle of Pork Chop Hill that had begun back in April. Dear God! Why couldn't both sides just stop? Hope was in the Army voluntarily to be of service to her country, but she would never understand war.

She put the newspaper down, tired of reading about death and destruction. What could she do in the middle of the night? She thought about things she had promised to do since returning to the States. Some of the tasks had been accomplished. She had gotten in touch with the families of Colonel Potter, BJ, Charles and Hawkeye. She had written to Francis. But there was one thing she had been putting off that nagged at her. She had not written to Hawkeye.

Hope struggled about what to say to him. She certainly wouldn't lie and tell him she loved him. Oh she felt something for him alright, but it was difficult to define. Out of a sense of duty and the desire to get it over with, she wrote him a letter.

_Dear Hawkeye,_

_I owe you a big apology for this overdue letter. By now, other people at the 4077__th__ have received letters from me. I don't blame you for being hurt or angry with me for taking so long to write this letter. It _is _difficult to know what to say to you. _

_In my heart and mind, there is a special place that is for you alone. The memories of the time we had together will always remain with me. I pray that someone will come along that can give you everything, someone that deserves you. I don't believe that person is me. _

_I want you to know that I did not plan to fall in love with Francis. It just happened. Being loved by two men is overwhelming. It tore me apart and was part of the reason for my breakdown. Please Hawkeye, for my sake as well as your own, move on. I beg you to do this for me. _

_Always in my prayers,_

_Hope_

She put the pen down on the table. The task was complete. How Hawkeye reacted to the letter was entirely up to him.

* * *

**Note- ****The Battle of Pork Chop Hill was actually two related Korean War infantry battles fought in the spring and summer of 1953. They were fought while the U.S., the Communist Chinese and the Koreans negotiated a truce. In the U.S., the battles were controversial because of many soldiers being killed over terrain that was of no strategic importance.**

**Hawkeye doesn't seem to be able to let go and move on. It has ruined his friendship with Francis. When will the surgeon realize he's only hurting himself? Will Hope's letter help him change his mind?**

**Thank you Dear Readers for your continued support. Reviews are appreciated!**


	66. Chapter 66 Early June 1953

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 66- EARLY JUNE 1953 **

**A note of appreciation to everyone who has been reading this story, especially my fellow M*A*S*H fanfic writers- samanddianefan10, KyokoHonda49, MASHlover23, hippiechick2112, SoldiersAngel87 and many others! Your support means a lot to me.**

**Disclaimer- M*A*S*H doesn't belong to me. Hope Jones, her family and Father Alvarez are my creations.**

* * *

When Father Alvarez entered the chapel it looked like it was ablaze. Every candle was lit. Someone must have a lot to pray about! He noticed Lieutenant Jones sitting on a back pew with her head bowed and eyes closed, holding a rosary in her scarred left hand. For the last month she had come to the chapel nearly every day. As he moved quietly to keep from disturbing her, he studied the young woman's face. It was a picture of earnest prayer. He knew she was praying for the safety of her fiancée. All she had told him about the man was his first name, Francis. The priest wanted to ask her to tell him more about him, but he sensed that she was hesitant to do so. He wondered if she was hiding something about the man.

Hope opened her eyes to see the smiling face of the priest. "Hello Father," she whispered. "Have you been here long?"

"No my child. Just a minute or two. May I tell you something?"

"Certainly. What is it?"

"I just want to assure you that you can talk to me about anything. I'm not here to judge, just to help you," he told her. Those words echoed Francis' when she had told him about Anthony and the miscarriage. She tried to stop the tears that were welling in her eyes from rolling down her cheeks, but it was a futile effort.

"Thank you," Hope murmured, wiping the tears away with her fingers. She decided that she would share more about herself with the priest, but she still hesitated to tell him anything more about Francis. "I know I haven't told you much about my family or what happened to me in Korea. I felt that it was more important to talk to you about the Catholic faith first."

"And so you have. I'm pleased that you've asked me questions. Of course, there are some basics of the Christian faith that Protestants and Catholics share and you already knew them. But I do wish you would tell me about your family. It would help me to know you better," Father Alvarez told her.

"Yes sir, I will. However, I'm on duty in a few minutes. How about after Mass on Sunday?" Hope suggested as she stood up to leave.

"That will be fine," he told her.

As she walked away from him and out of the chapel, the priest wondered how much Hope was willing to share about herself and her family. He wondered how she had gotten the scar on her left hand and she had not told him anything about her fiancée except his name. It seemed unusual that a young woman wouldn't talk about the man she was going to marry. What was it about her fiancée that she didn't want to tell him?

* * *

Klinger opened the mail bag the moment it was delivered. He dug out all the letters and quickly went through them. Colonel Potter wanted to know if Hawkeye got a letter from Lieutenant Jones. Sure enough there was!

The company clerk burst into his CO's office with a big smile on his face. "Well sir, good news! Hawkeye has a letter from Hope."

Potter exhaled a long sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness! Give it to him right away."

"Yes sir! On my way."

Klinger was grateful that he didn't have to search all over camp to find Hawkeye. The surgeon was in the Swamp. "Captain, I gotta letter for you."

Hawkeye rolled over in his bed and half heartedly reached out for the letter. He mumbled "thanks" and flopped on his back. He started to toss it on the floor of his tent when he saw the return address- _Lieutenant Hope J. Jones, General Hospital No. 6, Fort McPherson, Georgia. _

He sat up on the edge of the bed and tore open the envelope. In the letter she told him to "let go and move on". The glimmer of hope he held out that she still loved him evaporated. For a minute he sat there staring off into space, the letter hanging limply in his hand.

The door to the Swamp creaked open and BJ walked in. He saw the vacant look in his friend's eyes and the piece of paper he was holding.

"Hawk, what's wrong?"

Without saying anything, Hawkeye handed him the letter. BJ read it and gave it back to him. "Well my friend, are you gonna do what she asked, let go and move on?"

"Yeah BJ, I'm sure as hell going to try. There's not much else I can do," Hawkeye told him.

Without asking, Hunnicutt poured a drink. As he handed it to Hawkeye, he told him," The sun is not over the proverbial yardarm yet, but you look like you could use one."

Hawkeye swallowed the Swamp's homebrew in one gulp and thrust out the empty glass, "Fill 'er up."

BJ mentally kicked himself for offering his friend the drink. "Don't you think one is enough?"

"No, I don't."

BJ sat down next to Hawkeye. "Look, drinking a river of that stuff isn't going to change a thing."

"Yeah, it will. I'll get drunk, pass out and not think about her for a while."

"That's a very temporary solution to the problem and you never know when we'll get wounded. Colonel Potter would have your hide and mine if you weren't able to operate because you were drunk early in the day."

Hawkeye handed BJ the glass. "You're right," he sighed. He looked at his friend and asked, "Well Dr. Hunnicutt, do you have a prescription for a battered and a bruised heart?"

BJ patted Hawkeye's shoulder and said, "Time my friend. Time is the best medicine."

"Yeah, I was afraid you'd say that," Hawkeye responded with a sigh.

* * *

As soon as Francis Mulcahy pulled his jeep onto the grounds of St. Teresa's orphanage, the children ran out to greet him. When he got out of the jeep, they swarmed around him. He felt a pair of little hands pat his leg. He looked down into the dark eyes of Cho Hee.

She said one word, one name and he was undone. "Hope?"

He picked up the little girl and whispered in a trembling voice, "She's gone."

Cho Hee patted his face. "Hope gone?"

"Yes, Hope is gone," he told her again. He knew she didn't understand, but he didn't know how to explain it to her. Francis put Cho Hee down and she ran to one of the nuns, chattering away to her in Korean about Hope.

He turned away and tried to compose himself as he took the supplies he'd brought for the orphanage from the back of the jeep. He decided that he wouldn't stay very long. Although the children were precious and dear to him, the place held the most powerful memory for him; the day he fell in love with Hope. It just served to remind him that she was no longer in Korea.

When he turned back around, Sister Mary Margaret saw the tears shining in his eyes. She knew he was a sensitive and tender hearted man, but she had never seen him in such a state before. She sent Cho Hee off to play with the other children and then asked, "Father, is something troubling you? I've never seen you like this before."

He sighed and answered, "Cho Hee asked me where Hope was. When I told the child that she was gone, it just drove home to me how much I miss her."

"Where is she now?" the nun asked him.

"She was transferred to an Army base back in the States. I really miss her," he answered.

"You two must have become good friends."

"Yes, we did." He couldn't tell the nun that he and Hope were more than just friends. The orphanage would forever remind him of the woman he loved. He felt an obligation to the nuns and children to assist them in any way he could. From now on it would be difficult to come back, but he was dedicated to helping them as much as possible. Next time, he would ask Klinger to come with him. Maybe it would ease the lonely feeling he experienced when visiting there.

Sister Mary Margaret knew that she might be stepping out of bounds in the question she was about to ask, but she asked anyway. "Father, are you and Lieutenant Jones just good friends? The first time you came here together, I saw something in your eyes. It was like a light, a spark."

He looked down at the ground and then back up at her. "Sister, what are you trying to say?"

"Father, just because I'm a nun now, doesn't mean I've always been one. I know what it's like to be in love with someone. I think you're in love with her. Don't worry; I won't say a word about it to anyone." She reached out and touched his shoulder. "Just know that you're in my prayers. Whatever path you take in life, you can still serve the Lord."

"Thank you. I appreciate your concern and prayers. It means a lot to me," Francis told her. "I think I had better get back to camp now." He got back in the jeep, started the engine and slowly drove away from the orphanage.

After an hour's uneventful drive, Francis neared the 4077th. Rosie's Bar was just outside the edge of compound. He decided to stop there before he returned to camp. It was mid afternoon, a little too early for a drink, but he decided that he needed one anyway.

When he entered the bar, Rosie called out in greeting, "Hello Father, come in and take a load off. What'll it be?"

"A beer is fine. Thank you." When he sat down at the bar, another person was there with their back turned to him. The person turned around to face him. It was Hawkeye.

Francis wondered if he should find another place to sit. When he started to get off the bar stool Hawkeye put his hand on the priest's shoulder. "Where are you going? I promise I won't bite or slug you."

Feeling uneasy, Francis sat back down. "Alright Hawkeye."

"You look like you lost your best friend," the Chief Surgeon told him. "You went to the orphanage today, didn't you? I've never seen you look so sad after you came back from there. What's different?"

Francis took a swig of beer and then answered with one word. "Hope." He braced himself for some sort of abuse, either verbal or physical, from Hawkeye. However, none was forthcoming.

"You miss her a lot, don't you?" Hawkeye observed.

It was difficult to hide the surprise in his voice when he responded to Hawkeye. "Yes! Oh Lord, do I miss her! Being at the orphanage today, just reminded of the first time that she and I went there together." He hesitated and then revealed, "That was when I fell in love with her."

An awkward silence passed between the two men for a minute or two. Hawkeye smiled and said, "Mmm…took you a little longer than me. I was lost the first time I looked into those green eyes of hers."

Francis was puzzled by Hawkeye's behavior. Was the man trying to make peace between them? He stammered, "They are lovely, her eyes I mean. It was her smile that drew my attention at first. Those full lips…" He trailed off, feeling he had said too much already.

Hawkeye knew what he meant. He had kissed those lips, too and felt the promise of passion to come. He had felt her heart beat against his chest and held her while she slept. He had a glimpse of her body and knew from Francis' drunken declaration the night of the failed poker game that the priest had seen it as well. The doctor had a lot in common with Francis; they were in love with the same woman. There was a difference though; the surgeon had experienced being in love several times. For the priest, this was the first time. A thought, a nudge from his conscience came to his mind prompted by the letters from his dad and Hope. Both had asked him to let go and move on. Maybe he could let go if he could help Francis in some way. It would be a way to repair their friendship.

"Look Father…. Uh, Francis. This is new territory for you. I mean being in love with a woman. If there's anything I can do to help you…I know you really miss her." Hawkeye stumbled around in his mind for the right words to say; he hoped that the priest understood what he was trying to tell him.

The words didn't matter to Francis; it was the sincerity behind them that touched him deeply. It took him a few seconds to respond. He swallowed hard and told Hawkeye, "Thank you. I'm overwhelmed by your generosity." He looked into the Chief Surgeon's dark blue eyes and continued, "I want to apologize for…"

Hawkeye reached out and placed his hand on the priest's shoulder. "You don't have to say it. I understand. I know I certainly owe you an apology for being such a jerk."

"I forgive you," Francis told him softly. "Love can cause a person to forget who they are."

"You are right about that my friend," Hawkeye told him. He sighed with relief. The breach in their friendship was on the mend.

* * *

It was ten o'clock at night, but the heat of early June in Georgia was still unbearable. All the windows were open in the quarters that Hope shared with two other nurses. The ceiling fan was running at top speed doing nothing more than moving hot air around. Somehow, her roommates were able to sleep.

However, Hope was wide awake. She sat on the edge of her bed, wearing a thin cotton night gown that was stuck to her sweat drenched body. However, it wasn't the heat that kept her awake. A few nights before, the anxiety she felt about the progress of the peace talks and how long the war would last came out in disturbing dreams. Pushing the worry out of her mind during the time she was awake, she prayed hard and worked hard but it was catching up with her when she went to sleep.

She could sit and sweat for the rest of the night or she could find something else to do. Hope got up and changed into a skirt, blouse and put on a pair of sandals. She took a glass from the bathroom, filled it with water and went to sit outside on the tiny porch of the nurses' quarters. Now she had another problem; the mosquitoes were eating her alive. After swatting and slapping at the insect dive bombers for several minutes she was ready to return to her room.

As she opened the door to go back inside, out of the darkness someone said, "Too hot to sleep?" Hope jumped, yelped and twirled around to see Steve Newsome walk out of the shadows on to the dimly lit porch. "Oh sweet Jesus in Heaven! You scared the crap out of me! Steve, what are doing lurking around in the dark by the nurses' quarters?"

"I'm so sorry I scared you. I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go for a walk and wound up here," he told her. "Now, how about answering my question?"

"O.K., fair enough. It's really not the heat. I grew up in Georgia, so I know what the summers are like here. It's hot as Hades during the day and a little less so at night. I can't sleep because I keep having bad dreams about the folks at the 4077th. "

"You're trying to push your concern about them out of your mind aren't you?" he observed.

"Yes, you're right," Hope told him. "How did you know that?"

Steve took off his glasses, wiped the perspiration off his face and put them back on before answering her. "I've tried to push something out of my mind before. Trust me; it will catch up with you in some way or another. Look, I know it's late and the bugs are having a feast on us. We both should be in our quarters. Why don't you join me for a drink at the O club tomorrow after work? We can talk then."

"O.K., see you then. Good night, Steve."

"Good night Hope."

She went back inside, changed back into her nightgown and crawled into bed. With a prayer on her lips for a night without bad dreams, Hope fell asleep to the hypnotic sound of the ceiling fan blades whirling above her.

* * *

**Hawkeye finally receives a letter from Hope asking him to let go and move on. Maybe he will be able to do it now that he and Francis have made peace with each other.**

**Father Alvarez wants to know more about Hope, her family and especially her fiancée. Will she tell him that Francis is a priest?**

**Thanks so much for reading. Reviews are greatly appreciated!**

**If you enjoy this story, please read the M*A*S*H stories by the other writers mentioned in my note at the top of the page. **


	67. Chapter 67 Pain and Nightmares June 1953

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 67- PAIN AND NIGHTMARES- JUNE 1953**

**Disclaimer- **Of course, the characters from M*A*S*H don't belong to me. Only Hope, her roommates Cindy and Debra and Father Alvarez are my own creation.

* * *

This kind of pain was new to him. As he held the photograph in his left hand and looked at her face, longing stabbed at his heart and spread throughout him. It hurt; quite literally. He placed his right hand on his heart as if he could make the pain stop. There was nothing he could do about it; he knew that there was no pill, no treatment or therapy for it. The only cure was being with her and only Heaven knew when that would happen. For the time being, Francis Mulcahy knew he had to accept that he was one of the "walking wounded" and he would go on living and working in spite of the pain for he had no other choice until the war was over and he could go home.

The photo helped him remember what Hope looked like, but it could not give him the sound of her voice. She had been gone a little over two months and Francis worried that he would forget that slow, drawling way she talked and the sound of her laughter. Perhaps he could arrange a phone call and talk to her for a few minutes. Or, he could write her a letter and asked that she respond by recording her letter like Major Winchester's sister did.

He opted to write a letter to Hope-

_June 14, 1953_

_Dearest One,_

_My heart aches for you in a way that words cannot adequately express. BJ gave me the photo of you, Peg and Erin and I look at it often each day, especially at night before I go to sleep. I can gaze at your lovely face anytime I want to, but I have no way to remember the sound of your voice. My love, if you are able; please use a tape recorder to make your reply._

_There is something else that I want to tell you- Hawkeye and I have made amends and we're no longer fighting with each other. It is a relief to have my friend back. We even talk about you now, sharing our memories of the time you were at the 4077__th__. Well, I don't tell him everything I remember about you; some memories are too intimate to share with anyone else._

_In her last letter, my sister told me that you called her. She was glad to hear from the woman I am going to marry and told me to let you know that you can count on her support. Cathy says she loves you already because you love me. Please continue to stay in touch with her._

_There are other things I want to tell you, but they don't belong in a letter. I'll just have to wait until we see each other again to share those private thoughts with you._

_I love you. May God be with you._

_Francis_

As he placed the letter in Klinger's outbox, Francis said a silent prayer that it would make its way to Hope quickly. For a reason he couldn't explain, there was a sense of urgency in the need to hear her voice.

* * *

As Hope waited for Steve to meet her at the Fort McPherson Officer's Club, she held a glass of ginger ale in her right hand and thought about what he'd said to her the night before. She knew that Steve was right about pushing away the things that worry you. They would make their presence felt one way or another. How much would she tell him?

A hand on her shoulder brought her out of her reverie. "Penny for your thoughts, Lieuntenant." Hope looked up into the smiling face of Steve Newsome.

She grinned and said, "Just a penny? Surely they're worth more than that."

"I'm sure they are," Steve responded. "Be right back." He went to the bar, got his drink and returned to the table where Hope was sitting. "Now, do you feel like talking about what's been causing those bad dreams you've been having?"

Hope wondered if she was doing the right thing in pouring out her heart to a man she hardly knew, but she certainly didn't feel comfortable talking to Father Alvarez about Francis, Hawkeye and her bad dreams. A sigh escaped her lips before she answered. "Yes, I suppose I should. Do you remember when we met and I asked you if you remembered Father Mulcahy from the 4077th?"

Steve nodded and answered, "Yes."

"Well, he is the man I'm engaged to," Hope told him.

His eyes grew wide and he uttered, "Oh." Steve recovered and said, "I'm sorry Hope. That was a surprise."

"Yeah, I know. I can't tell you how many times I've seen that reaction when I tell people I'm engaged to a Catholic chaplain. Francis is willing to leave holy orders to marry me. Please believe me when I tell you that I didn't pursue him, it was the other way around. He declared his love for me before I ever reciprocated his feelings. I struggled with the fact that he's a priest. I felt like I was stealing him from God. And it gets more complicated." She paused, took a sip of ginger ale and continued, "Hawkeye fell in love with me, too. For a while, I felt torn between the two of them; like the main event at a taffy pull. I can joke about it now, but it sure wasn't funny then."

"I can believe that. It must have been tough," Steve observed. "I also have a feeling that there's more to this story."

"Oh yes, there sure is. Are you sure you want to hear all this? It's like a soap opera."

The doctor chuckled, "Hope, life is a soap opera. Yes, continue on."

And she did- from the affair with Anthony, the miscarriage, joining the Army, coming to Korea, confronting the reality of war, Anthony's attempt to woo her back by sending her the black dress; stopping short of recounting the "day of the burning dress". Steve saw the distant look in her eyes and knew something else had happened to her; something connected with the black dress that had pushed her over the edge.

He took her hand and held it, waiting patiently for her to return from the place her mind had taken her. Softly he called her name. "Hope? It's alright. You're safe. Whatever happened to you is over." He absentmindedly ran his thumb over the scar on her left hand and then looked at it closely. "The scar on your left hand, how did you get burned?"

Hope looked at him and he saw both fear and sorrow in her eyes. He identified with the fragile state she was in because he was only a thought, a memory away from that state himself.

When she answered, her voice sounded like it belonged to someone else. "I burned it… the dress. It took on a life of its own. Through it, Anthony seemed to be mocking me. I had to make it stop so I took a cigarette lighter to the thing and set it on fire. Major Winchester got it away from me before the flames went too far up my arm. When I woke up in the Post-Op ward, there was a psychiatrist there sitting by my bed."

Steve knew the psychiatrist's name before she said it. "Sidney Freedman?"

"Yes, Steve. It was Sidney," Hope answered. She now understood the distant look in his eyes when he talked about working in the Pusan perimeter and coming to help out at the 4077th when Colonel Potter and Major Winchester came down with the mumps. Steve must have been under the care of Dr. Freedman sometime in the past. A sudden wave of fatigue washed over her and she grew quiet.

"Hope, are you o.k.?" he asked her, concern evident in the tone of his voice.

"I guess so. I feel like I've been run over by a tank. Talking about all that stuff took something out of me. Thanks for listening. I don't know if telling you all this will make the bad dreams go away. All the stuff I just told you happened in the past. Right now something I can't explain; something that's happening or going to happen concerns me about Francis and Hawkeye's well being and safety. However, I'm sure of one thing."

"What's that?"

She squeezed his hand and said, "I have a good friend in Captain Steve Newsome." Hope smiled at him and another thought danced across her mind. She was very glad that she had introduced him to Faith. He was a good man, just like Francis, her dad and the doctors at the 4077th.

* * *

Francis pushed food around his tray at breakfast in the mess tent. It was unappetizing most of the time anyway, but his mind was focused on Hope and the sound of her voice. It had been several days since he'd sent her the letter requesting that she record her reply. He didn't understand where the sense of urgency to hear her voice was coming from.

"This stuff looks pretty bad today, doesn't it?"

"Huh?" Francis turned to see Hawkeye sitting next to him. The Chief Surgeon was poking at what looked like sausage with his fork.

"Yes Hawkeye, it does. Sorry, my mind was not on the quality of the food."

"I think I know what was or I should say "who" was on your mind."

"You're right. For some reason, I strongly feel that I need to hear the sound of Hope's voice. I'm afraid I'll forget…" An expression of fear and sadness crossed the priest's face.

Hawkeye was puzzled by Francis' concern over remembering Hope's voice. "How could you forget her voice? Her Southern accent; the slow, soft way she talked. Unless she was mad and then it was slow and loud." Hawkeye smiled at the memory. "The words she used, like "y'all and dadgummit". And when she cursed or as she would say "cussed", she could make a one syllable four letter word into a multi syllable four letter word."

With a slight smile, Francis added, "To say nothing of her singing. She sounded like an angel to me."

"Yeah. Me,too." Hawkeye picked up a piece of sausage with his fork, gave it the sniff test and quickly put it back down on his tray, which he pushed aside. He would rather feast on memories than eat the stuff that passed for food in the mess tent.

The food affected Francis in the same way and he also pushed his tray aside. He took a sip of coffee and another memory came to mind. He held up the cup and said, "She always called this stuff "a cup of mud"."

"That's an accurate description, alright," Hawkeye sighed.

"Hawkeye, I'm going to ask Klinger to put a call through to the States for me. I've got to hear her voice."

Why was Francis Mulcahy suddenly so obsessed with hearing Hope's voice? It both puzzled and concerned the Chief Surgeon. He also knew that the call wouldn't be possible. "Francis, he won't be able to do that for you."

"Why not?"

"Because I overheard Klinger telling Colonel Potter that the phone lines were out. I don't know why, I just know you can't make a phone call to anywhere today."

"Oh, no! I really need to speak to her." The priest raked his fingers through his hair in frustration.

Hawkeye put his hand on Francis' shoulder. He couldn't understand why his friend had become so agitated. "Look, maybe tomorrow the lines will be back up and you can call her. O.K?" It was a case of role reversal that the surgeon had never experienced before. Usually Father Francis Mulcahy was the voice of reason and calm comforting Captain Hawkeye Pierce.

* * *

It was real, too real.

_She stood in the middle of a smoke filled battlefield. Francis was off in the distance with his back turned to her. Hope called to him, but he made no response. She ran toward him through a hail of shelling and gunfire without regard to her safety. The closer she got to him the farther away he was, just out of reach. _

"_Francis! Francis! Stop! Let me come to you!" He continued to retreat as if he could not hear her calling him. In desperation, she started running toward him. No matter how fast she was, he was faster in getting away from her. Why didn't turn around and answer her? _

_The ground between began to open up and she could no longer pursue him. Hope stood at the edge of what had turned into a cliff and looked across to the other side to see Francis still moving away from her. She called out his name once more and it echoed in the chasm that separated them._

"Francis! Francis, stop! Turn around and answer me!" Hope sat up in her bed, screaming at the top of her lungs. Tears mingled with sweat as they ran down her face.

By now, both of her roommates, Cindy and Debra were wide awake. Cindy sat down on Hope's bed and gently asked, "Are you alright? It sounded like you had another nightmare."

Hope wiped her face with the hem of her nightgown and answered, "Yes, yes I did. I'm sorry I woke up you and Debra."

"Maybe you should see one of the doctors and ask them to give you something to help you sleep," suggested Debra.

Hope sighed. "I guess so I could do that. Or maybe I just need to find someplace to live off base by myself."

"Why don't you try sleeping pills first? Besides, you would have to pay rent and that would cut into the amount of pay you could use for something else," Cindy told her.

"I'll think about it. Right now, I'm going to take a shower and then come back and try to sleep without having anymore nightmares and waking up you two again." Hope got out of bed, put on her slippers and robe and made her way to the shower. She let cool water run over her body for a few minutes, then dried off and returned to her room. By then, both Cindy and Debra were asleep. She lay down on her bed and willed herself to stay awake, staring into the darkness. Hope had no desire to return to the nightmare world she inhabited when she slept.

* * *

At six in the morning, Father Alvarez came into the chapel to pray. Once again, he found that every votive candle was lit. It was obvious that Lieutenant Jones had been in the chapel sometime during the night, she seemed to be the only one that would light every candle in the place. He looked toward the back of the room, fully expecting to see her sitting on the back pew, but she wasn't there. Maybe she had come into pray before going on early duty at the hospital.

He knelt down in front of the altar and began to pray silently. A groan, a sigh and finally the movement of someone in a pew invaded his prayers. He turned to see Hope Jones sitting on the back pew. Father Alvarez got up, walked to the pew and sat down beside her. "Lieutenant, how long have you been here? I saw no one when I entered the chapel a few minutes ago."

Hope brushed back a strand of hair that had fallen into her eyes and yawned before answering the chaplain. "Father, I'm not sure. Probably a couple of hours."

The priest was puzzled. "How could that be? I didn't see you when I came in here."

She smiled and answered, "I was here all along, just asleep on the pew." The smile faded as she continued, "I had a terrible nightmare and was afraid to go back to sleep, so I came here to pray. I guess I fell asleep while I was praying. Surely the Lord doesn't mind."

The priest chuckled and patted her hand, "I'm sure he doesn't mind at all, but I wouldn't make a habit of sleeping in church."

"That sounds like something my daddy would have said."

"Really? Do you feel like talking about him?"

Hope had promised Father Alvarez she would talk about her family and she supposed that it was time that she talked about her dad. "Yes, I do. Daddy was a Protestant minister. You can bet I didn't sleep in church; mainly, because I had to sit on the front pew every Sunday. He kept an eagle eye on me and my sisters." Hope sighed and her voice became shaky as a fresh wave of grief swept over her. "I miss him so much. Father I believe in the promise of eternal life, but I can't help but wish he was still here and not in Heaven."

"I understand my child. It is very difficult to be separated from loved ones whether by death or distance," Father Alvarez told her.

One tear escaped her from her eye and rolled down Hope's cheek. She was separated from her beloved daddy by death and by distance from the man she loved. "Oh Father Alvarez, I'm worried about my fiancée. He's still in Korea working very close to the front lines. I'm sure that's why I had the nightmare."

"Look, I can't guarantee that your fiancée is safe, but I can tell you that he is in God's hands. Guardian angels are watching over him. You believe that, don't you?"

"Yes sir, I do or at least I think I do. I even gave Francis a guardian angel medal before I left Korea."

"Hope, don't forget that you're in the Lord's hands, too. I know it's hard to wait to be reunited with a love one, but just remember that He is waiting with you," Father Alvarez told her.

Hope thought about what the priest just told her. God was with her in the waiting making his presence known through people like Father Alvarez and Steve Newsome. "Yes Father, you're right. God is with me in the waiting."

* * *

Francis had been kneeling over a wounded soldier listening to his confession. As the priest stood up and moved away a few inches so the corpsmen could take the soldier into Pre-Op, he felt the gentle thuds of his crucifix and the guardian angel medal as they hit his chest. He smoothed the crucifix back into place and then did the same to the medal. He closed his eyes and thought of Hope. How he missed her!

Before he moved on to the next patient, he prayed silently. "Lord, please watch over Hope. Guard her heart and mind. One day soon, bring us together again. Amen." Francis opened his eyes and went about the work he had been called to do in that time and place. The future and a life with the woman he loved would have to wait a little longer.

* * *

**Note- I now realize that there are two Cathy's in this story- Anthony's wife and Francis' sister. Hopefully, the reader will know who I'm referring to two separate individuals, given the context of what is being read at the time.**

* * *

**For some unknown reason, Francis feels the need to hear Hope's voice. Since he was unable to call her, he can only wait until she gets his letter to see ****how she'll respond to his request.**

**Hawkeye and Francis have formed a bond in sharing their memories of Hope. Perhaps this will be good for both of them.**

**Hope has opened up to Steve Newsome and Father Alvarez about herself and her dad. She's learned that God is always present in her life through the people she comes in contact with. Maybe she will find comfort in this knowledge.**

**Thanks so much for reading. Please review. More to come.**


	68. Chapter 68 July 4-5, 1953

**HOPE'S CALLING-CHAPTER 68- JULY 4-5, 1953**

**Disclaimer- **I certainly don't own the characters from M*A*S*H, just Hope Jones and her family.

**Note- **Events from "Goodbye, Farewell and Amen" will start to be included in the story line. Might be a little AU in future chapters as the story unfolds.

* * *

"Hey sis, I'm glad you could come home for the weekend, especially since tomorrow's the fourth of July," Faith told Hope as they walked from Steve Newsome's car toward the front porch of the Jones house.

Hope laughed and whispered, "Sure you are. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Steve came with me, does it?"

"Well…"

"Come on Faith, Mama and Daddy taught us not to lie."

Faith rolled her eyes and answered, "O.K., you got me. I am glad you're here and especially glad that he came with you."

"Wait a minute, we came in his car. So that means that I came with him, not the other way around," Hope corrected her big sister.

Steve Newsome stood on the front porch of the Jones home and chuckled as he listened to the interchange between Hope and Faith. He called out to them, "Are you two going to stay in the front yard all Friday night?"

"We're coming Steve," Faith answered back and ran up the porch steps into his waiting arms. A pang of envy pinched at Hope's heart. She wasn't envious of Steve and Faith's relationship, it just hurt that her sister had her beau there and she didn't.

Hope skirted around the couple and opened the front door. "Excuse me y'all. I'm starving and I'm gonna see what Mama's got in the refrigerator to eat."

When she got to the kitchen, her mother was putting away the leftovers from supper. "Hey Mama, please wait, I haven't had anything to eat since breakfast."

Martha crossed the kitchen and gave her daughter a hug. "Sure thing. Do you think Steve will want something to eat, too?"

Hope nodded her head in the direction of the front porch, "I don't know. Maybe we should disconnect him from Faith and ask."

Her mother laughed and said, "I'll go break up the love birds and offer him something to eat."

"Good luck with that," Hope countered.

A few minutes later, Steve and Faith entered the kitchen arm in arm. "I hear there's fried chicken and potato salad," the surgeon announced.

"Yep, there is," Hope told him between bites of chicken. "I managed to leave you a drumstick and a spoonful of potato salad."

"That's mighty generous of you, Lieutenant."

She shrugged and grinned. "That's the kind of girl I am. I'm so generous, that I'll leave the rest of the food and my sister to you." Hope sailed out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her Faith's bedroom. She closed the door and fell face down on the bed. Her smile faded away to be replaced by silent tears. Another wave of envy swept through her. Faith was with Steve and Francis was thousands of miles away. She had no idea how the surgeon and her sister felt about each other, but they were together with their arms around each other. Hope only had her memory of what it felt like to be held by her fiancée.

Hope ached for the touch of Francis' hand and his kiss. The sound of his gentle voice had a power to soothe her like nothing else in the world. If there could be no heart's ease that night, she would escape from the ache by going to sleep. The ticking of the alarm clock on the nightstand next to the bed lulled her into a half-sleep which didn't last very long. She awoke to the sound of her cousin Tommy's voice calling her name as he walked up the stairs that led up to her sister's bedroom.

Hope groaned and got out of bed. "Tommy, I'm in Faith's room," she called out as she fumbled for the light switch.

Tommy found her standing beside the open door to Faith's room. He hugged her and asked, "Are you alright? Aunt Martha said you went upstairs shortly after you and Steve got here. You're not sick, are you?" He placed his hand on her forehead. "You don't feel like you have a fever." Then he playfully touched her nose. "Uh oh, your nose is warm. Something's wrong."

Hope chuckled. "I'm not a dog, you dope. My nose is supposed to be warm. Good thing you're planning on being a veterinarian and not a people doctor."

"Seriously Hope, what's wrong?" Tommy asked her.

Hope pulled away from her cousin and sat on the edge of Faith's bed. "I got overwhelmed by envy. Seeing Steve and Faith together made me wish Francis was here. I can't see him or touch him and it tears me in two. I'm glad I introduced my sister to Steve Newsome. He's a good guy. But seeing them together just reminds me that my guy isn't here with me."

Tommy sat down beside her and took her hand. "It must be really hard to be away from Francis. I know you miss him. I can't replace him, but I can keep you busy this weekend so maybe you won't think about him so much."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Oh, we could go fishing and take a picnic with us," he suggested. "You know it means we got to get up early."

"Yeah, I know. It'll be fun." Hope kissed Tommy on the cheek. "Thanks cousin. "

"See you bright and early. Good night Hope."

"Good night." After Tommy was gone, Hope put on a nightgown and crawled into bed, praying for a dreamless sleep; one without Francis or Hawkeye.

* * *

Colonel Potter had given his staff the fourth of July off to go to the beach, a very brief but welcome respite from the war. The weather had been perfect and everyone seemed to have a good time, even Francis Mulcahy although he missed Hope terribly and wished he could have shared the day with her. The ride back home to the 4077th turned into a nightmare. First they picked up some South Korean refugees and then the nightmare got worse when they picked up some wounded soldiers who informed them that there was an enemy patrol in the area. The bus pulled off the road and they hid, staying quiet so they would not be heard by the enemy. Sitting silently on the bus, holding his breath like everyone else with him, his thoughts went back to the day that he and Hope had to hide from the enemy on their return from the orphanage. He remembered holding and kissing her to keep her calm and quiet. For the first time since she had left Korea, he was very glad she wasn't there. And to add to the horror, one of the refugees had a baby that wouldn't stop crying. Hawkeye had snapped at the poor mother to keep the child quiet. She did so with tragic consequences; she smothered her baby.

Since he was a priest, he knew people would ask him the age old question- why does God permit suffering? How could he answer them with anything that made sense or brought comfort? All the answers he might give, such as humans having free will, just didn't make sense. His heart and soul rebelled. "Oh God," he prayed. "How can such senseless things have any meaning? Any good purpose? Give me guidance in what to say and do to help others at this difficult time. Amen."

Francis knew in his heart that God wasn't through with him as a priest. There was still work for him to do, but he couldn't help wishing that he was thousands of miles away from Korea with Hope and starting a new life with her.

* * *

The quiet of the bedroom was shattered by the sounds of screaming. Faith turned over and shook her sister. "Hope, wake up. You're having a nightmare."

Hope opened her eyes and it took her a few seconds to remember where she was. She was at home in Between, Georgia, sleeping next to her older sister, not in Korea where she'd been in the nightmare. "Oh God, it was so real." She sat up on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands. "I'm afraid to go back to sleep. I don't want to go back to that place again."

Faith put her arm around Hope and told her, "Sis, it was just a bad dream, that's all. Try to go back to sleep."

"No, I'm going to get up. Tommy and I are going fishing and I know he wants to get an early start." She got up and switched on the lamp beside the bed. Once she had changed her clothes, she turned off the lamp and kissed her sister. "Sorry, I woke you up. I hope you won't have too much trouble going back to sleep. I love you."

"Love you, too. See you in the morning."

Hope closed the door to her sister's bedroom and quietly went down stairs to the kitchen. She filled her mother's old percolator with water and coffee and placed it on the back burner of the stove. While the coffee was perking, she went to the living room for something to read. The first thing she found was a fashion magazine that belonged to her younger sister, Charity.

Once the coffee was ready, Hope poured herself a cup and sat at the table, leafing through the magazine. To her, most of it was of little interest; that was until she turned to an article that featured wedding gowns and realized that she never given any thought to what kind of wedding she wanted. The only thing she had planned was to be married in a Catholic church. She could have cared less about a fancy gown, all she wanted was Francis.

Hope closed her eyes and imagined what he would look like in a tuxedo or a suit. She'd never even seen him in a dress uniform. He was handsome to her with his blonde hair and bright blue eyes, but his smile was what she loved most about his face. More than that, it was what was inside the man that was most important to her. Francis Mulcahy loved God, cared deeply about people and accepted her just like she was. She smiled as she thought, "Last, but certainly not least, he's an excellent kisser." It had been over two months since she'd felt the touch of those gentle lips. Her heart ached with what felt like real physical pain. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she held her hand over her heart and messaged it in a futile attempt to make the pain go away.

* * *

A bus full of weary, frightened people pulled into the 4077th's compound. The personnel of the MASH unit helped the refuges and wounded soldiers off the bus in a silent and efficient manner. Francis was especially concerned about Hawkeye who seemed to have retreated into a world of his own. It reminded the priest of the way Hope had acted right before she burned the dress. He felt sure that the Chief Surgeon was headed for a breakdown. He planned on telling Colonel Potter this as soon as the opportunity presented itself, but first he wanted to talk to BJ, since he was Hawkeye's best friend.

After he helped get the refugees settled into makeshift quarters and assisted with the wounded soldiers they had brought back on the bus, Francis sought out BJ and found him in the mess tent having coffee. The priest got a cup of coffee and sat next to BJ. "I could sugar coat my description of this day, but only one word will do."

The weary surgeon turned and asked, "And what's that one word?"

"Horrible," Mulcahy sighed.

"Yes, that's the word alright," BJ responded with tears shining in his eyes. "It makes no sense. Why did that woman smother her baby? There must have been some other way to quiet the child."

"I don't know BJ. I do know that fear can cause a person to lose all sense of reason and do something they will later regret. There's something else that concerns me greatly as well. It's Hawkeye. Something changed in him on that bus ride. You're closer to him than anyone here. Please keep an eye on him."

Hunnicutt brushed away a tear that trickled down his cheek and answered, "I'm ahead of you on this one. I've been thinking about him since we got back. I'll keep an eye on him, if you'll send up the prayers for him."

Francis patted BJ on the shoulder. "Of course. You can count on me to do that. And he's not the only one in my prayers, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do. Thanks Father."

* * *

About 4:30 in the morning, Tommy quietly entered the Jones house and was surprised to see his cousin Hope wide awake and dressed. He walked into the kitchen, kissed her on the top of the head and then he crossed the room to pour himself a cup of coffee. He sat down next to her at the table. "Hey, you're wide awake and ready to go. Been awake long?"

"Yep, since about three o'clock."

"Why so early? It's not like you had to get ready to go on a date or to church on Sunday morning."

Hope drained her cup of coffee and answered, "I had one god awful nightmare. It was so terrible; I don't even want to try to remember it. Woke up screaming and woke up Faith, so I decided it would be best to just go ahead and get up. So here I am, not quite bright eyed or bushy tailed."

"Are you having nightmares a lot?"

"Just about every night for the last couple of weeks. My roommates on base suggested I get some sleeping pills. I really don't want to take them because I always end up feeling like a zombie the next day."

"Who or what are you having nightmares about?" Tommy held up his hand and added, "You don't have to answer that, I think I already know the answer. Is it your fiancée?"

"Yes, I have nightmares about Francis and about one of the doctors I worked with. His name is Hawkeye." Hope hesitated for a moment and then continued, "He fell in love with me while I was at the 4077th. He's a good man, like Francis, but as different from him as day and night. It was hard feeling pulled between the two men."

Tommy raked his fingers through his dark, curly hair and chuckled, "My lord, Hope! Sounds like a soap opera." He shook his head and looked at her apologetically. "I'm sorry. I know it's not really funny."

With a raised eyebrow and half smile on her lips she responded, "Steve recently told me that life is a soap opera. But if you didn't laugh about it sometimes, you'd go crazy. Trust me, I know crazy."

"What's that supposed to mean? You know crazy?" Tommy was truly puzzled.

Hope stood up and walked over to the sink to put her empty cup in it. "I'll save that story for another time. Let's go drown some worms…uh, I mean catch some fish."

* * *

_Why didn't she answer him? He was standing a few feet away from her calling out her name at the top of his lungs. Holding out his arms, Francis started walking toward Hope. Just as he was about to reach her, she faded away. Where was she? Why didn't she answer when he called her name? He walked toward the place he'd last seen her and ran into a hard but invisible barrier. Where ever she'd gone, he couldn't follow her. A wave of sadness shot through him like an electric shock. He cried out in pain._

Francis sat straight up in bed with his heart racing ninety miles an hour. What a horrible dream! He fumbled around in the dark until he found his glasses and turned on the light. The clock on his desk said 12:30. Klinger was probably asleep, but the priest wasn't going to let that stop him from making a call to the States. He had to talk to Hope.

Max had just drifted off to sleep when someone shook him. He turned over and mumbled, "Buzz off would ya? Can't a fella get forty winks around here?"

"Klinger, I'm sorry to wake you, but I need to you to place a call to the States," Francis told him apologetically.

The corporal sat up and rubbed his face. "Father, why do you need to call somebody at 12:30 in the morning?"

The priest swallowed hard and answered, "I need to speak to Hope. I have to make sure she's alright."

Max saw the desperate look in Mulcahy's eyes and couldn't be mad at him. He sympathized with Francis because he remembered what it was like to be in love with someone that was far away. "Sure, no problem. We'll call her. I know you'll feel a lot better once you talk to her."

A call was made to the hospital at Fort McPherson. When a nurse answered the phone, Francis was told that Hope was off for the weekend and she suggested that he try her home in Between. He handed the phone back to Klinger and told him, "She's not on duty. The nurse I spoke with suggested we try her home in Between."

"In between what?" Klinger asked him.

"I think that's the name of the town she's from." Francis took a moment to recall her father's name. "Try for Reverend Edward Jones' residence in Between, Georgia."

It took a while but Max finally reached the Jones household. He handed the phone to Francis.

When the person on the other end of the line answered and said "Hello", his heart leapt. It sounded like Hope.

"Hope?"

"No, this is her sister, Faith."

His heart sunk. "This is Francis Mulcahy calling from Korea. I'm trying to reach your sister. I'm her fiancée."

"I'm so sorry. She's not here. She went fishing with our cousin Tommy. Do you want me to give her a message or ask her to call you back when she gets in?"

The priest tried hard to hide the disappointment in his voice. "Please tell her I called and…tell her I love her. If she can call me back, that would be wonderful. Thank you Faith. Goodbye."

He handed the phone back to Max. "She wasn't at home either. Thanks for making the calls for me. I'm sorry I woke you up."

"It's o.k., I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to talk to her. May she'll call back."

Francis sighed, "I sure hope so. Well, good night and thanks again."

"Good night Father, try to get some sleep."

"I don't know if I can, Max. But I'll try." Francis left the office and headed back to his tent.

Klinger crawled back in his bed and turned off the light. He closed his eyes and prayed, _"Look Lord, I know that I hardly ever talk to you, but I'm not asking for myself. I'm asking for a really good guy, Francis Mulcahy. He works for you. Please let him have a chance to talk to Hope. You know he really loves her. Thanks."_ The company clerk turned over and went to sleep, wanting so much for the prayer to be answered for the chaplain's sake.

* * *

The sound of laughter rang out in the front yard of the Jones' home, bringing everyone that was inside out onto the front porch. Hope and Tommy had just arrived back from their fishing expedition. Both of them were soaked to the skin and left puddles of water that dripped off of them as they walked up the steps that led to the porch.

"Hope, that's the last time I take you fishing with me. You were supposed to be catching fish, not the seat of my pants!" Tommy told her in a mock serious tone.

"Aw gee, I'm sorry. Remember you're the one that taught me how to fish when we were kids. It's really your fault," she teased.

Steve Newsome stood there grinning from ear to ear at the sight of the pair; they looked like drowned rats. "Are you two alright? No injuries?"

"Well…" Hope rolled her eyes at her cousin. "The fish hook went through his jeans and caught his rear end. He wouldn't let me help him get it out. Mr. Toughguy pulled it out himself. "

"Tommy, I think I better take a look at your posterior. Wouldn't want to get an infection, would you?" Steve told him.

"Nah, I guess not. Come on Dr. Newsome. Let's get me taken care of," Hope's cousin responded. The two men went inside the house, leaving Hope, Faith and her mother on the porch.

"Hope, before you go inside to get cleaned up, I need to tell you something."

"What is it, Faith?"

"Francis Mulcahy called you while you and Tommy were out fishing."

Hope pushed strands of wet hair out of her eyes and sighed, "Oh crap! I missed his phone call. Two months since I spoken to him and I had to be out fishing! Now, I really wished I had stayed here."

Faith put her hand on her sister's shoulder. "He gave me a message for you. He loves you and wishes that you would call him back."

"I'm gonna do that right now."

As Hope opened the front door to go inside, her mother stopped her. "First you need a hot shower and clean clothes."

"No Mama, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I want to call Francis first and then get cleaned up. I'll even stand on newspapers or an old towel so I won't drip water on the floor. Please let me call him. I don't care if I catch a cold or pneumonia; I've got to talk to him."

Martha Jones didn't argue with her daughter, she just moved out of the way so Hope could go into the house.

Hope stood shivering, holding the phone's receiver to her ear. It took a long time for the call to go through; every minute seemed like an eternity until she heard the phone ringing on the other end of the line in Korea. She let it ring for about five minutes and then gave up when no one answered.

"I bet they've got wounded and everyone is in the OR," she whispered to herself as she hung up the phone. Tears of disappointment rolled down her cheeks as she walked upstairs to the bathroom.

Hope stripped off her wet clothes and shoes and got in the shower. Her tears mingled with the water from the shower streaming down her face. When would she be able to hear the sound of Francis' voice? All she wanted was to talk to him for a minute and tell him how much she loved him. Was that so much to ask?

* * *

Neither Francis or Max Klinger had been asleep for very long before the sound of ambulances in the compound brought them out of their tents. During the hours they were in OR, the company clerk ran back to the office several times, hoping that he would hear the phone ringing. On his last trip to the office, the phone was ringing but he couldn't answer it in time.

Klinger enter the OR and whispered to Francis, "I just missed a phone call. Before I could answer, the person on the other end of the line hung up. I'm sorry."

Disappointment swept through Francis like a wave crashing on the beach. "Max, thanks for trying."

Klinger looked Heavenward and prayed silently, _"Come on now Lord, please give the Padre a break. Don't you think he deserves it?"_ Then the Lebanese corporal looked across the operating room and added, "Doesn't everyone here in this hell on earth deserve one?"

* * *

**Envy, nightmares, death, missed phone calls- not a very happy 4th of July on either side of the world. And it seems like Klinger's prayer is going to be answered, at least not in the way he wanted it to be answered. Time will tell.**

**Francis and BJ already realize that something is wrong with Hawkeye since the trip to the beach and its aftermath. Will BJ's care and concern for his friend and the priest's prayers be enough to help the Chief Surgeon?**

**Thanks so much for reading. Please review. I appreciate the feed back.**


	69. Chapter 69 A Prayer and a Plea-July 1953

**HOPE'S CALLING- CHAPTER 69- A PRAYER AND A PLEA- JULY 1953**

**DISCLAIMER-** I don't own M*A*S*H, but Lt. Hope Jones, Sgt. Lipinsky and Father Alvarez are my very own characters.

**NOTE- **Some events from "Goodbye, Farewell and Amen" are mentioned in this chapter and may be a little AU from the episode as it was shown on TV.

* * *

"Well Sgt. Lipinsky, this is the first gunshot wound I've seen outside of a combat zone," Hope told her patient as she changed the dressing on his wound. "What on earth happened?"

The sergeant chuckled and told her, "Cleaning my own damn gun. I thought it was unloaded, but it turned out to be otherwise. Sure won't make that mistake again."

"I hope not. You'd probably like to keep all your body parts for future reference," she responded with a grin. Once she had finished with the dressing, she asked him, "Is there anything else you need?"

"How about a date after I get out of this place?"

"Gosh, I'm sorry, I can't. For one thing, you're enlisted personnel and I'm an officer. And the other and much more important thing is that I'm engaged."

"Really? Your fiancée forgot to get you a ring," Lipinsky told her.

The ring again; it seemed a lot more important to other people than it did to her! "He didn't have the chance to get me one before I was transferred here. I'm sure he'll give me one when he comes home. "

"Where is he?"

"In Korea, working at a MASH unit. "

"Is he a doctor?"

She hesitated, formulating an answer for the sergeant. "No, he works in a support capacity." Yes, a chaplain was support personnel. The sergeant seemed like a nice guy, but she wished he would let it drop. Boy she was tired of having to dance around telling people that the man she was engaged to was a Catholic priest!

"Well I'm sorry that you can't go out with me, but I hope your guy comes home safe and sound. And soon!"

Hope sighed with relief that the man hadn't pressed her for more information about Francis' line of work. "Me, too sergeant. Me, too."

Hope left his room, went back to the nurse's station and started working on patient charts. She loved them, but doctors universally had the world's worst handwriting. Holding one of the charts up to her nose, she tried to decipher what was written on it. She was concentrating so hard that when the phone rang, she simultaneously jumped, tossed the chart in the air and screamed. She looked up and down the corridor and was glad that no one came running to see who screamed. With a shaking hand she picked up the receiver and stammered, "Nur…nurses' station, Lt. Jones speaking."

The voice on the other end of the line caused her heart to leap. "Hope?"

"Francis?"

"Yes, my love. It's me," he answered softly.

Hope couldn't contain herself, she started to cry.

Francis spoke soothingly, "Oh love, try not to cry. We don't have much time to talk and I need to tell you something important."

She heard the sense of urgency in his voice and managed to swallow down the sob caught in her throat. "Francis, what is it? What's wrong?"

"Hope, its Hawkeye…"

The worst thing she could imagine came to mind; that he was dead. "Oh God, Francis what's happened to him?"

Francis didn't have time to give details; he got to the heart of the matter and answered, "He's had a breakdown. He was sent to Sidney Freedman for treatment."

"What happened to cause his breakdown?"

There was no way that the priest was going to tell her what happened on the bus, or Hawkeye trying to operate on a patient that hadn't been anesthetized, or him driving a jeep through the Officer's Club and ordering a double bourbon, which was not his drink. He couldn't tell her all that in a phone call. "Hope, it's too complicated to explain right now. Just do one thing for me."

"Yes Francis, what is it?"

"Pray for him, pray for all of us. Things are not going well over here."

The fear and concern Hope had for the members of the 4077th ratcheted up several notches at what Francis had just told her. Her heart began to pound again for a different reason; the people she had come to care about so much were in increasing danger. "I do pray for all of you daily, constantly. Father Alvarez says he can always tell when I've been in the chapel praying because every candle is lit. He says it looks like the place is on fire."

Francis' heart sunk. "Is that Major Paul Alvarez?"

"Yes, I think his first name is Paul."

"Hope, he was one of my instructors at chaplain's school before I was sent to Korea." Francis hesitated, but finally asked the question that started worrying him the second she had said Father Alvarez's name. "Does he know about me? I mean, does he know that you're engaged to me?"

"Yes and no. Yes, he knows I'm engaged to a man named Francis, but I haven't told him your last name or what kind of work you do."

He let out a very audible sigh of relief at her news and mumbled, "Oh."

"Look Francis, I won't lie to him, but I wouldn't reveal that you're a priest unless he point blank asks me. That's the reason I haven't told him your last name." Hope knew in her heart that Francis' work as a priest was not over yet. It was one of the most important reasons for transferring out of the 4077th. The other reason was just as important; she knew she would have pushed him to violate his vow of chastity if she had remained in Korea. The temptation would have been too great. "I have told my mother, my cousin Tommy and my sister Faith about you, but I can trust them to keep the fact that you're priest to themselves." She didn't tell him that Steve Newsome knew as well, but she trusted the surgeon to keep the information to himself as well.

"Hope, I have to go. We've run out of time on this phone call. Remember, I love you. God be with you," Francis told her.

"And also with you, my dearest Francis. I love you very much." The line went dead and Hope slowly hung up the phone. With great difficulty she went back to working on patient charts.

* * *

He had heard her voice! Francis stood alone in Klinger's office and let the tears flow freely. Removing his glasses and wiping his cheeks with a handkerchief, he sent up a silent prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord for answering his prayer. Now he would store the sound of her saying "I love you" in his memory and live on it until he could be with her again.

BJ walked in the office just as Francis was putting his glasses back on his face. He quickly folded up the handkerchief and returned it to his pocket. "Hello BJ, why are you holding a quilt?"

The blond surgeon held up the quilt and answered, "I was planning on taking it to Hawkeye when I go see him. When Hope left it here for him, she said it was to remind him that he was covered in prayer by her. I'm not sure how he'll react to it, but I thought it might be a good thing."

"Yes, I think so too. A bit of something from home, so to speak. I just finished talking to Hope on the phone and I told her about Hawkeye. Well, I didn't give her any details just that he had been sent to Sidney because of the breakdown. I asked her to pray for Hawkeye and for all of us. You know how things are going over here."

"Yeah I do. They've resumed the peace talks and the fighting is as fierce as ever or even worse," BJ sighed. "Changing the subject, how did Hope sound when you talked to her?"

"She sounded startled and then she started to cry. I guess she misses me," Francis surmised.

BJ couldn't help but smile at the priest. "You guess? Of course, she misses you. She loves you Father…uh, Francis. Isn't it wonderful to be loved by a woman?"

"Yes BJ. It's wonderful and awful at the same time. Wonderful to be loved by Hope, awful to be away from her," Francis told him.

BJ's eyes misted as he agreed. "I know exactly what you mean."

* * *

It was difficult to get through the rest of her shift at the hospital, but Hope somehow managed. When the nurse relieving her came on duty, she quickly updated her on the patients and then left the hospital. Instead of returning to her quarters, Hope went straight to the Catholic chapel. Francis had asked her to pray for Hawkeye and she would start right away.

The chapel was a respite from the summer heat. Hope noticed this every time she entered there. While the rest of creation felt like the front porch to Hell, the chapel was a cool, inviting haven. She lit two candles and knelt down in front of the stand that held them. No one else was there, so she decided to pray out loud.

_Dear Lord, thank you for watching over the people of the 4077__th__. Please continue to do so and while you're at it, how about putting an extra battalion or two of guardian angels on the job?_

_Grant Hawkeye healing of the mind and spirit. I know he's not a believer, but you made him just like the rest of us so that makes him your child and he needs your help right now. _

_And Lord, your child, Francis John Patrick Mulcahy; please watch over him and guide him in his work in Korea. I love him very much and pray that he will come home to me very soon. Please bring everyone from the 4077__th__ home safe and sound before too long._

_Amen_

Father Alvarez entered the chapel so silently that Hope didn't realize he was there. She also didn't realize that he'd heard her prayer. His eyebrows went up when he heard her pray for Francis John Patrick Mulcahy and tell the Lord that she loved him. No wonder she hadn't told him anything about her fiancée! The young woman was engaged to a priest. Alvarez pondered how he would handle this information.

Hope finished her prayer and stood up. As she started to leave and walk out of the chapel, she saw Father Alvarez out of the corner of her eye. The nurse turned to face him and asked, "Father, why is it that I look up and see you every time I come in here to pray?"

He shrugged and told her, "I guess I have a knack for it. I wasn't eavesdropping, I just happened to walk in here while you were praying. Is there anything I can do for you? Anything you want to talk about?" The priest hoped that she would tell him about Francis' profession without him having to ask.

Hope thought about his questions and then recalled her prayer. She had called out Francis' full name and Father Alvarez had heard it. Now the chaplain knew exactly who fiancée was. "Father, you heard me say my fiancée's name while I was praying, didn't you?"

"Yes Hope, I did. I know Francis Mulcahy from chaplain's school. He's a fine priest, a very dedicated man of God."

Hope looked down at the floor, afraid to look Father Alvarez in the eye. "He certainly is. Now you understand why I didn't tell you anything about my fiancée? I didn't want the knowledge of our engagement to get out and cause him problems. I can't imagine what you must think of me now."

When he answered, she looked up and saw nothing but compassion in his eyes. "I think that you're a young woman very much in love with a young man. Your young man just happens to be a priest. "He pointed towards a pew and told her, "Why don't we sit down and talk about it."

"O.K., Father." They both sat down on the pew and faced each other. "I didn't tell you about Francis because I wanted to protect him. He intends to give up Holy Orders when the war is over and he comes home so we can get married. "

"I see. Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"I want you to know that I didn't "chase" Francis. He told me he was in love with me before I ever realized that I felt the same way about him. I really struggled for a while because it felt like I was stealing him from God. When I finally told him that I reciprocated his love, there was peace about it in my heart."

Father Alvarez smiled and said, "It must have been difficult for Francis and you."

"Yes sir, it was then. I felt like I had to transfer away from the 4077th because temptation was too great." She swallowed hard and then continued, "I would have caused him to violate his vow of chastity if I had stayed there. We came so close, but he stopped it. At first, I felt like he was rejecting me, but then I realized that he was protecting me, protecting us from doing something we would regret."

"Now that sounds like the young man that I knew at Chaplain's School. "

Hope then asked something that had been on her mind since she realized that the priest had heard her prayer. "Father, is Francis doing the right thing? I mean, leaving the priesthood?"

"Hope, what I think about it doesn't matter. In the end, Francis' decision is between him and God," the chaplain told her.

"I suppose you're right. I love him enough to want what's best for him."

"Enough to give him up, if you were asked to do so?"

The question struck at her heart. If Francis changed his mind about leaving the priesthood and getting married, could she accept that and let go? Sometimes love called for sacrifice, but why would they be brought together only to be pulled apart? Hope recalled that she had just told Francis in their phone conversation that she didn't lie. Well, she would tell Father Alvarez the truth from her heart. "I know I love him with all my being, but give him up?" She took off her nurse's cap and ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm not sure I could."

He patted her shoulder and said, "Well I hope you don't have to find out."

* * *

The Californian sat in the jeep, holding the quilt in his lap. On the trip to see Hawkeye, BJ thought about what he would say to Hawkeye when he visited him at the psychiatric facility where he had been hospitalized. How do you say goodbye to someone who had become your best friend, your brother, your partner in practical jokes? He wondered how Hawkeye would react to the news that he was going home. What was his friend' mental state like?

BJ fingered the quilt and hoped that Hawkeye would at least recognize it and know where it had come from. Thankful that someone else was driving the jeep, he sighed and closed his eyes; thinking that he was entering the unknown when it came to his best friend.

He arrived at the hospital, stiff from the bone jolting jeep ride and apprehensive about how he would find Hawkeye. The moment he stood in the doorway to his friend's room, Sidney graciously left so the two men could have some privacy.

Hawkeye seemed indifferent, almost hostile to BJ. He didn't even invite the blond surgeon to sit down. BJ stood at the doorway and talked to Hawkeye. He wanted so much to tell him that he was going home, but he couldn't do it. Hawkeye seemed to want him to go away, saying "we'll talk when I get back to camp". BJ only smiled and said "sure". He placed the quilt on Hawkeye's bed.

"What's this?" Hawkeye asked in what seemed like an annoyed tone of voice.

"It's the quilt Hope left of you before she went back to the States."

Hawkeye made no response about the quilt or the mention of Hope's name. He muttered "thanks" and pushed the quilt to the foot of his bed.

BJ's heart broke as he said, "Good bye, Hawkeye." He turned and walked away from his friend's room. His joy at the thought of going home to Peg and Erin was diminished by the encounter he'd just had with Hawkeye and he wondered if he'd ever see the man again.

* * *

The camp was filling up with refugees. Colonel Potter wondered where in the world to put them. Then on top of that, the 4077th was suddenly host to POW's. The refugees set up a make shift camp and a holding pen was built to house the prisoners. Not an idea situation, but it was the best he and his staff could manage with the resources they had.

To make matters much worse, a runaway tank had barreled through camp taking out the latrines before it came to a halt and the Colonel was under orders not to have it moved. Then the enemy discovered it was there and started shelling the 4077th. Members of the unit scrambled for cover, some of them under the tables in the mess tent; among them was Francis. The POW's were out in the wide open without any means of protection. Before anyone could stop him, Francis ran out and opened the gate to the holding pen, letting them out to seek safety.

A mortar round exploded behind him, throwing him to the ground. In the split second before he lost consciousness, he called out "Hope!"

* * *

Hope sat bolt upright in the bed, her heart hammering in her chest. She recalled no nightmare. It had been a dreamless sleep, but the feeling of dread overwhelmed her. He was thousands of miles away, but she could have sworn Francis was in the room with her, calling her name.

She quickly sent a simple and heartfelt plea to Heaven. _"Oh Lord, please help Francis. I know something's wrong, very wrong!"_

* * *

**A lot has happened in this chapter- Francis finally gets to speak to Hope, even though the news he gives her is not good. She reveals to Father Alvarez that Francis is a priest. BJ visits Hawkeye, but is not warmly received by his friend.**

**And Francis is wounded while freeing the POW's from their holding pen and saving their lives. How will his injury affect his future with Hope?**

**Thank you so much for reading! Please review- the feedback is much appreciated!**


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